Stuck in Second Gear

Her face finally registered understanding when he spoke of the Order, but a part of her bristled nonetheless. People within the Order had ruined her potential career at the Prophet, and just because she had not been fired yet didn't mean she was wrong in her understanding of the looks they sent her way. Maybe Selwyn knew whose idea it had been, Adrienne mused. She didn't think it was the right time to ask, though, so she tried to focus on the warning he gave her.

"Okay, but... When you say you shapeshift, what exactly do you become?" Adrienne asked slowly, pushing around the food on her plate so she could find the right words. "Why would I need to be afraid of you?"

Selwyn was quite honestly taken aback by her question.

"I've never actually fully shifted," he said, as though this revelation was a surprise to himself. In a way, it was, for he'd never really thought about it before.

"But a full veela would turn into a bird-like creature. Looks a bit like one of those Hindu gods. I'm surprised you don't already know."

"I spontaneously grow talons and occasionally hurl fireballs when I'm upset or angry," he explained. "That's why I was such an arse at school. It was easier to control myself if I just didn't care about anything."

"You really don't need to be afraid," he went on. "I was being a bit melodramatic. I'm sure you'd be able to handle yourself if, by some chance it actually happened. But it's embarrassing, you know?"

"It's not like the animagus transformation, especially since I don't transform properly. I'd prefer if you didn't see me like that. I'm vain, sue me."

He shrugged.

"Just because I was in Ravenclaw doesn't mean I study everything under the sun, you know. I never knew a Veela - or assumed I didn't, clearly - so it wasn't important to me." She shrugged. Then, tilting her head, she added: "Might have to look into it now, though."

And she meant it. At least until he explained what happened to him. Then, her eyes grew wide and her expression was nothing if not worried. "You must've been so scared," she whispered finally, that worry transferring directly to him. "I can't even imagine."

His last sentence did well to calm her nerves, actually drawing out a smile she had not expected. "I won't claim to be the bravest person, nor even the bravest Ravenclaw. Both would be lies. But I don't feel afraid of you. Even with that. I promise I'll do as you asked, though, if anything happens. I won't get in the way."

It was probably unfair that Selwyn's reaction to Adrienne's sympathy was to laugh and look away in embarrassment.

"You're sweet," he said.

"But it was never like that. Half my family are veela or half-veela. It's not like it was something I didn't know could happen, or that I've never seen happen to someone else."

"When I was at school, I was maybe a bit afraid I'd hurt someone," he admitted.

He laced his fingers together and placed his hands behind his head.

"So, what's this about not trusting me?" he asked. "I'll let you stay the night, but I'm not sure what I think of having someone who doesn't trust me in my house. You might do anything. Stab me in my sleep..."

The twitch of a grin at the corners of his mouth indicated that he was at least kidding about the stabbing part.

Adrienne found herself glad that he hadn't really had much of a struggle with it, growing up, but it was still rather difficult to wrap her mind around it. When he changed topics, she made a mental note to look it up later instead of continuing to bother him with it. If anything else came up, she chose to believe that he would discuss it with her.

"I can assure you I've never stabbed anyone," she put in, a slight huff escaping dramatically. It was a bit of a show, but it sort of happened without her thinking about it. Rarely did sarcasm get the best of her as of late. It was actually rather fun to let it out.

"But, in all seriousness... It isn't because it's you. I just take a bit of time to feel comfortable, really," Adrienne shrugged, pausing to bite down on the inside of her cheek for a moment. "I'm very thankful that you're allowing me to stay."

Yes, well he hadn't thought it was about him.

Selwyn lowered his arms and stared at the table for a moment before looking back up at her.

"You know how I went veela on you the other night?" he queried. "You remember how that felt, right?"

"So if I sat here now and told you it never happened, it must be just some fantasy because you're obviously so obsessed with me..."

"...not that I'm saying that, but if I did..."

"Speaking honestly, would you believe me or your memories?" he asked.

"I'm not asking for no reason, I think there's a reason you're so..." Selwyn's hands fluttered, as though trying to pluck the right word from the air, "and I don't think it has anything to do with being here. That kind of discomfort is totally normal."

Adrienne immediately flushed pink at his question, her eyes widening slightly. She should have looked away, really, to avoid feeling that additional embarrassment. But she didn't want to make it clear just how well she remembered it. "Yes, of course," she replied after a moment, her voice almost breathy. She really did try to pretend it was nothing important, but she failed.

"I- I don't know," she admitted quietly, unsure where he was going with it. "I like to think I know my own mind well enough to determine that it was real. In the moment, though? I might believe you. But, I mean, there are books to prove it. So I guess... It would depend on when you asked."

Of course, her answer was a bit too much. She always seemed to ramble on when she didn't have a solid answer, as if she was sure that, somewhere in her ocean of words, something would make sense. Or, sense enough for the other person to figure her out. At least Selwyn seemed able to do that well enough, so far.

"I don't mean to be like that," she added after a moment, shrugging her shoulders a bit. "So maybe you're right. I'm just nervous and... confused. Not about you, but about them. The confused bit, I mean. I'm obviously still nervous," Adrienne nearly laughed, pulling on a section of her hair.

"Maybe it would be wise for me to try and sleep, and we could maybe talk in the morning about our schedules so we know what the plan is? You'll have to show me where I'm meant to stay, but.. It might help."

"Sorry," he murmured.

Selwyn so hadn't expected that reaction. If anyone had a reason to be embarrassed about that night, it was him. She'd behaved perfectly properly.

"I was just using it as an example because it's the kind of thing that's hard to deny," he said.

"You know you can ruin people's minds even without memory charms? You can do it just by denying the reality they live in. Apparently one of the more common ones is by moving someone's things and then acting like the person misplaced them," he was already moving round the end of the table to sit next to her.

"I've been there," he said frankly. "Hogwarts messed me up a lot. Sometimes, the way you act reminds me of myself. That's why I'm short with you. I've got a million things running through my mind and most of them concern whether someone's been playing with your mind and what I'm going to do when I get my hands on them."

He gently took her hair out of her hand and claimed it for himself.

"I'll give you the grand tour then?"

Adrienne's chin remained directed at the floor, but she sort of peeked up at him when he spoke. She was sure that what he said was true and well-informed. It sounded familiar somehow, though she couldn't place it. But then he came closer and she forced hersel to look as him properly.

Worry lines creased her forehead as his concerns were voiced, but she didn't think she really had an answer for him. What could she say, really? Sure, the house she had just run from was something far too unusual and spooky for any normal person to want to choose as their home. After all, she absolutely refused to sleep on her own in that bizarre and frankly awful room. She hadn't spent more than a few nights there. Even going in to pack her things had been a strange occurrence, she realized now.

And sometimes she wasn't entirely sure that she had made any sense, when it came to talking to his parents. After all, she was a halfblood. Surely the things she said and did weren't so very strange to them. But Adrienne didn't think any of that counted in the category Selwyn was trying to explain to her. Even if it did, she didn't want to break the sort of moment that had now that he was being so open with her. She could explain later.

So although she was trying to work through it all, his action wasn't lost on her, and she released her hold to allow him to sort of take over the worrying of her hair. The way he toyed with it wasn't quite the same, though, and she could only watch the movements of his fingers until he spoke again and her gaze jumped to try and meet his.

"That would be nice."

"Okay."

He led the way out of the room, to the right and down the hall until they were standing just in front of the stairs.

"You've seen the living room," he said, gesturing toward the double doors that opened ahead of them.

"Don't touch the piano."

Another gesture, this time to the room next to the one they'd just exited.

"There's a bathroom through there. And that," he turned toward the room across the hall, "is some kind of sun room or breakfast eating area, or something."

"If you're all good, we can head upstairs. You wanna collect your bag now or after?"