Maybe I've gone crazy

It was quiet and dark on the street. A single street lamp looked down at the cobbled stones, the only source of light in the entire area. Nothing moved but the leaves on the trees and the distant rumble of thunder as a storm slowly rolled it's way into the area. The housing area was old and pristine, beautiful white fences outside of beautifully painted houses. Neat front lawns and arched doorways to rich families sleeping peacefully behind them.

A shadow moved, and from the darkness stepped a man, a cloak was clasped to his neck, and the hood was up over his head, the only visible portion of him was his hand, which had a wand clutched in it. He was of decent height, a handsome face covered in a dark brown beard, and long scraggly hair that was tied back out of sight behind the hood.

While handsome, his features suggested a hard life. Sunken in eyes, and hollow cheeks, his waistline suggested years of undernourishment. Though he had broad shoulders, his slightly hunched back suggested he had long been away from society.

His eyes darted around the lonely road, before striking out down the street. He was on a scent, a long forgotten scent that made his hands tremble. He had seen a woman earlier, a shadow of the past, and he had followed her. He wasn't sure what he wanted from her, he simply wanted to see her again. And so he walked down the road, keeping away from the streetlamps, keeping away from the sight of prying eyes. His head stooped, and his eyes darting around. They had left a busy street just moments ago, and were heading towards another busy street, but in that time he had lost her.

He wasn't sure if she knew he was onto her, but he knew that just maybe she had doubled around and was stalking him instead. He kept a sharp ear out for footsteps, and continued to walk. Finally turning into the busy street and blinking once as a car's headlights hit him and continued on, turning down the road and moving with the traffic.

Here Felix stopped, his shoulders sagging slightly. He didn't know why he was doing this, he was simply here, having followed a woman he thought was someone he knew, but couldn't even be sure of that. Maybe he had gone crazy.

Felix leaned against the wall of a shop, and brought his hand to his temples, groaning as he let his head fall back. Even if he had caught up with her, she'd probably have tried to kill him. But all he wanted was a look at her face, a look into the past at a time he had been feared and powerful. Before his fall, before his death. Before the time he had let everything slip away and he had been left alone.

A present,  an uneasy present she haven't felt in a long time was following her.  She knew that scent,  it made her blood run cold as she sense and felt it.  " What the bloody hell does he want with me again?"Sophia asked herself.  Turning various corners,  Sophia attempted to lose him which she ended up doing successfully but now stocking him.  She thought he was gone and done for, boy she was wrong.

Watching het footing so he didn't hear her, Sophia's red eyes darted into the alley way he rested in,  Sophia studied his features.  He didn't look like she remembered,  but he still had that handsome feature even behind his shaggy beard.   Although Sophia noticed he seemed to be lacking on that dangerous swagger he had,  he seemed broken down and lack for another word bitter.  Stepping out from the shadows,  quickly Sophia slammed him against the wall before pointing her wand at him.  " What the bloody hell are you stocking me? It's sure because you want to ask me on a date that's for damn sure!"said Sophia sarcastically.

One thing for sure,  she wasn't that fragile gullible girl she once was, no she was a girl that was always alert.   " Wow you look like hell Barker,  what's the matter lost your swagger while in the bin?"Sophia asked him smirking.   " Although those dementors,  never been friendly have they?"Sophia asked him smirking.   Sophia looked at him seeing he looked like a lost puppy trying to find his way home.  It made her laugh seeing him like this,  seeing how he hurt so many people.

" Finally realizing how people you hurt and kill, are do you just want people to feel sorry for you?"Sophia spat at him. " If you are Barker, I think it's working but clearly not for me you prick!"said Sophia her red eyes glaring at him. " You can't fool me Barker, I know all your tricks remember?"Sophia asked him smirking. " Maybe you still have that dangerous swagger in you, maybe I was mistaken. " said Sophia.

One second Felix thought he had lost her, the next he was slammed into the wall by the vampire and the air was knocked out of him as she hissed dangerous words in his ear. "Ah... Sophia... long time no see my pet." he smirked and looked her in the eyes with a small grin. "How could I possibly forget a vampire's smell is nearly as strong as a Mutts." He grinned, his teeth not nearly as shiny as they used to be, his eyes more tired then before.

"Nice to see my looks can't fool you from the old days." he said lightly, almost seeming to ignore the fact that she had him pinned to a wall. "I'm sure you know it's been a few years since I've shown my face in this country.. I just wanted to stop by an old friend and say hello!" He said innocently, raising his hands slightly to show he meant no harm, his little smirk still in place though.

"Really though, it wasn't the dementor's that made me sad, it was the look on your poor face the last time we saw each other. Depressing that's for sure." He let his gaze fall when she asked if she was mistaken, and he shook his head, almost sadly. "Nah.. I've not hurt anyone in year's darling, trust me." he slowly looked up at her again, and sighed. "Well, doubt you'd trust me, but is it so much to ask that we talk without your arm on my throat? I promise I won't do anything to ya... you have the upper hand anyway." He said lightly, looking her over.

Sophia glared at him before laughing her cold laugh at him.  "My oh my, you still have that Felix Barker charm to you,  I'm honestly surprise you haven't  lured in any girls lately. " Sophia smirked at him.   " Why I'm flattered you haven't forgot my scent,  I would you of thought would have forgotten all about me after all these years,  I must of been fun for you to play with!"Sophia replied sarcastically.    " As you probably noticed I'm not the same Sophia pet you knew,  lets just say I gotten wiser. "said Sophia smirking.  " As for you I was expecting your charming self once you ask me out on a date again!"said Sophia giving him a mocking pout.   " I'm so disappointed in you Barker,  but I guess we both changed since our last encounter!"said Sophia darkly.

Sophia laughed her cold laugh at him. " I'm ever so flattered you haven't changed your personality some on me!"Sophia smiled sickly at him.   " You know damn good well we never been friends Barker,  now why are you stocking me? " Sophia asked him angrily.   " You haven't been seen in years,  why the all the sudden pop up?"Sophia asked her red eyes glaring at him.  There had to be some reason why he was back, and some reason why he was stocking her.  She didn't believe he was back without a reason, he was Felix Barker for crying out loud!

Sophia rolled her eyes at him.  " I'm pretty sure,  sympathy and sadness were what you were feeling when you last saw my face!"Sophia spat at him.   Upon his request Sophia laughed at him.  " Why on earth would I do that,  do you honestly think I'm that stupid? " Sophia hissed at him.  " Lower my defenses and you attack? I might of been born but I wasn't born yesterday Barker!"said Sophia darkly.   " Although I'll take my arm from your throat,  but not my wand. " said Sophia removing her arm. from his throat.

Felix was pretty happy with the reaction he was getting out of Sophia. She sure had reason to hate him, everyone pretty much did. However her anger was making this all worth it. "Is a date too much to ask for? I mean, coffee and talk about the good old days? For your information I wasn't stalking you, I had simply seen your face and was curious! Or did you not hear me yell your name? Is your hearing getting a bit off? Aren't vampires supposed to have good hearing or is that a myth?"

He smiled as she slowly lowered her arm from his throat, but kept her wand on him, which was smart that was for sure. However he honestly had no intention of hurting her, simply knew he'd get away from her without any problems after taunting her a bit to get her to put the world on red alert.

"Come come Sophie pet." He said, butchering her name on purpose with a light bat of his eyelashes. "Did I ever need a reason for anything before? No, I simply wished to be reminded of a time when people feared my name... how do you like my beard then? I've been growing it out, people say it makes me look older, but I'm not sure, I think I'll cut it off soon." He said, reaching up lazily to scratch at the beard.

"So tell me, how is Kitty Khaat doing these days? Or Elijah? Heard from him either? I heard that Chase girl ended up going mad, too bad... lost her mind and died if I'm not mistaken, how very sad for you.. but that was years ago too if I'm correct.." He smiled politely and reached over to pat her on the shoulder. "So how's life Sophie? Is it too much to ask that you believe that I've changed? Two years is a long time without killing anyone ya know... Believe me, I've been thinking deeply on the things I've done. And I want to ask you something."

Felix didn't know where this was coming from, but he suddenly had an idea, a plan, something to help fix his life and turn his luck around for the better.

"I need your help.."

The tone of his voice had changed suddenly, his eyes lowered, he lost the playful note to his voice, in fact he lost the look that made him Felix Barker, he was simply someone who had been through a hell of a life, and had found someone to help him out of a hole.

Sophia could sense that he was getting a reaction out of her,  so she was going to play along with his stupid games.  "Why Felix I'm hurt,  I thought you would remember I was the screaming type. " Sophia shot back at him.  " If you wanted my attention, you have to scream a bit louder you know me always the frisky type. " said Sophia smirking.   " Or do you forget all that over two years?Sophia asked him.   " If you have tsk tsk, not a good way to impress a lady!"said Sophia darkly.

Sophia's red eyes glared angrily at him. " I don't need reminding of the things you did to me,  those are implanted in my head for life,  thanks alot for that!"said Sophia.  Sophia shook her head at him.  " No... I like you better the other way,  you look more like a physcopath!"Sophia answered honestly.   " Other way you were still a psychopath but at lease you looked hot doing it. " said Sophia honestly.

" I don't know how they are,  and if I knew why in the bloody hell would I tell you? " Sophia asked him angrily.  " Yes years ago,  but still not forgotten. " Sophia answered darkly.   " My name is Sophia,  and oh you know me I'm my happy perky self!"Sophia replied sarcastically rolling her eyes.  " Pf... yeah right Sophia!"Sophia thought to herself.   She was sure as much as she hated Felix,  he could tell she wasn't.  Although he was always able to read her and break her.

Sophia dropped her wand out of confusion and stared at him with a blank and confused look.  "Why in the bloody hell do you need my help for?"Sophia asked him softly.  " Also,  why should I help you?"Sophia asked him softly her voice returning to it's natural calm voice. She was a bit shocked he was asking for help, Sophia wasn't sure she could trust him.

Felix ignored her other chatter, it wasn't important, because now he had a plan, but one he needed to pull off so completely he had to convince himself the plan was real. No... it was real. Had he not spent the last two years feeling sorry for himself? Had he not felt pain so horrible it felt like he was being ripped from the inside out. Had he not had to silence his cave while he screamed? It had been pain, though he pretended it hadn't happened, because he didn't know why it hurt.. but now? Now he realized...

Felix heard her wand hit the ground with a clatter, there was pure shock on her face. He didn't move, he stood where she had left him, he didn't reach for his wand, he didn't try to run, he simply stood there, his eyes on her, before quite suddenly his head dropped and he reached up, gripping the hair around his ears, his hands visibly shaking.

"You... you shouldn't help me..." He said quietly, muffled by his beard and by his arms, which were hiding his face, but a salty smell and taste had suddenly filled the air as his eyes began to water. His heart was hammering, and he was prepared for her to walk off, and leave him against the wall to fight for the rest of his life. If he screwed this up...

"Sophia..." He whispered her real name, her actual name, he wasn't teasing, he wasn't joking around anymore. He sounded sad. "You have no reason to even contemplate helping me.. but.. you have been the first person to recognize me and not try to kill me in an instant... I need you to know.. I need everyone to know.."

He suddenly looked up at her, so she could see there were real tears in his eyes. They had caught in his beard, sat glistening in the moonlight, clear for her to see. "I am so sorry... for everything I have done to you.." Suddenly his legs gave out from under him, and he fell to his knees in front of her, his head bowed. "The last two years... they say you feel real physical pain when you feel remorse... what I felt the last two years was worse then any torture or Cruciatus curse anyone could place upon me... I cannot go on like this anymore... I need to say this to Khaat, to Elijah.. to you. How.. how terribly sorry I am... At first it was a job."

"Nothing more then a job.. and then I let my anger and hatred get the better of me.. and it grew worse.. and I corrupted a poor girl, and I fell in love, and I lost her, and when I was in Azkaban.. I felt the pain beginning, but it was barely anything. I was broken out before it could take hold.. these last two years it took hold, with nothing to stop it. And I need forgiveness.. though I do not deserve it.. I need it or I need to die."

Sophia looked at him before her face softened showing sympathy towards him.  She remembered his life history,  she remembered telling him the day he tortured her.  She also remembered the hurt on his face when she reminded him of his pass.  Sophia always knew he was a bit misunderstood, even when he was hurting her.  Sophia remembered telling him that,  but he didn't listen to her.  

" Always believed there was goodness in people,  even when they can't find it themselves. "said Sophia softly.  " I could of tried to kill you,  hell I could kill you right now but that won't solve anything. "said Sophia simply.   " Although it's going to take awhile for me to forgive you or trust you,  I will help you. " said Sophia softly.  " You honestly don't deserve it,  but I see goodness in you,  just like I told you two years ago. "said Sophia softly.   " Come on,  lets get out of this alley. " said Sophia softly helping him up before grabbing her wand.

" Don't make me regret doing this by turning against me,  I will hunt you down. " said Sophia softly.   " Lets get you clean up as well,  cause let's be honest. " said Sophia pausing eyeing his appearance.  " Isn't a good look for you. " said Sophia honestly but softly.   " Don't worry, I'm a healer I cn fix anything and make you back to your charming self in no time!"said Sophia smiling at him.

Her words cut through the silence like a knife. But not a bad knife.. not the knife that Felix used to wield. No.. more like a warm bread knife, slicing through hot bread straight out of the oven. A knife that could do what he had used knives for, but didn't.. because it's sole purpose was to make people happy. Her voice cut through that layer of thickness inside of him and made the tears come faster. He had expected her to hex him and leave him for dead right there in the alley.

Instead she offered him her hand, helped him up, talked of getting him cleaned up and healed. His eyes misted over for a moment, before he quickly rubbed the tears away and nodded to her, his hand finding his pocket as he pulled out his wand and handed it to her. "So you know... so you're not afraid of me... Just.. keep it safe.. I've had it since a kid, and it does mean a lot to me..." He said softly, staring at his wand before looking at the ground.

He felt like a child again, after his father had hit him. Coming into his mother's room with gashes to be fixed. Crying his eyes out. She had took him into her lap, and sung him a song while she waved her wand over his wounds and lulled him to sleep, wiping away his tears as she did. Only now, Felix wasn't a child, and he had done a lot worse, and felt a lot more pain. And this woman.. this woman who he had tortured, was going to help him.

"Thank you..." He whispered.

Sophia took his wand looking at it curiously seeing the polished wood, she seen he took very good care of it.  "I'll take care of it  like it's my own wand. " said Sophia softly looking down at her Willow wand.  " I had my since I started Hogwarts,  so I know what you mean. " said Sophia honestly.    Taking both wands,  she placed them inside her robe.   "Come on,  lets get out of here. " said Sophia softly leading her towards her house.

After a few minutes,  they were inside Sophia's house  and Felix was sitting in a chair.  " Will you be still still,  you're making me hard to heal you. " said Sophia softly.   " Ok... let's make this simple. "said Sophia getting out her wand.  " Was going to do the cleaning up the muggle way,  but it's not working. "said Sophia honestly.    " Ok...I'm going to do a spell on you so you won't feel any pain,  that's all I'm doing I swear!"said Sophia softly.  

After hours of healing and cleaning up,  Sophia nodded happy of her work she did on healing and cleaning him up.   "I think I got you back to your normal old self again. " said Sophia softly.  " So...what do you think?"Sophia asked him softly but curiously hoping he'll like it.  " I can change your eye color and hair as well if you like. "said Sophia honestly.   " Just let me know and I'll change it. " said Sophia eyeing him to see if there was anything she missed.