There Goes My Life

Chase was frantic. Tears stained her face, and her hair was a mess from the constant ruffling she was giving it. She walked quickly down the stairs towards the dungeon. She had to see Elijah, she had to, and he was the only one she could see. Only one other person knew.. one.. and that was a healer. She bit down on her fingernail, and then let her hands fall to the side, swinging them, and then crossing her arms. She couldn't figure out where to put her arms at a moment like this.

Finally she reached a point she knew she didn't know where to go from. She had a feeling she knew where the Slytherin Common Room was, but she didn't know which corridor to take. The passages under the school seemed to go on forever. She stared around and then lit her wand in the gloom. There had to be someone around that she could follow, or at least talk to. Slytherin's weren't the friendliest, but the only ones who could pull Elijah out for her.

It was almost directly after classes had gotten out, so finally, she saw someone heading past her. Following the Slytherin, she finally found herself at an empty wall, and that's when she almost broke down. She ran her hand through her hair, and stared at the empty wall in front of her. Went up to it, and stared for a long moment. Finally she cried out. "Please! If anyone can hear me! Please, Someone come out!" She cried out. "I need to talk to Elijah Krum! If anyone can hear me, will you please send him out!" She called out, pacing up and down in front of the wall, occasionally hitting it with her fist, or kicking it, only to fall away with a hurt toe.

“Inspiration waning...desperation reigning...” Elijah muttered to himself, angrily kicking away another balled up piece of paper. He’d had a good day so far but he was stuck. For some reason he’d had the desire to play the guitar again and so he’d found it out in his trunk. He wanted to make something for Fauve but so far he was coming up with nothing. He had half a rhyme Thierry would find amusing and something about prostitutes that Camille would shriek at him for writing. But nothing for Fauve. Merlin did he miss her. To gather his daughter up in his arms even for a second would become a dream come true. He was finding school difficult this year. It was clear to everyone that he didn’t want to be there but he had to persevere...at least until Christmas.

The door of the dorm opened and Elijah looked up to see a particularly irate fifth year girl standing in the door way, her arms crossed over her chest. Elijah arched an eyebrow at her and she opened her mouth to speak, only to be pushed out of the way by her boyfriend. “Bloody hell Krum will you go and get that hysterical Hufflepuff out of the corridor!? She’s pissing us all off and she even managed to wake up your ruddy snake so will you please shut her up before Nachash eats one of the first years? I know that wouldn’t be a bad thing but please! For everyone else’s sake!”

The pair walked out and slammed the door behind them, leaving Elijah to ponder why a Hufflepuff would want him. Mentally he listed off the Hufflepuffs he knew and he came up with two; Miseria and Chase. Now Miseria wouldn’t want anything to do with him unless she was reprimanding him for saving her from her suicide bid and contracting pneumonia as a result so it had to be Chase. Hysterical though? Elijah frowned and put his guitar down. He slid off of his bed and crossed the room. He opened the door and quickly ascended the steps up into the common room where the Slytherin’s present were trying to drown Chase out. He could hear her from where he was stood.

“Better go and calm her down, Elijah.” Jen’s voice broke the chatter in the common room and he looked over to the woman who was lounging in on one of the sofas, playing with a Rubix cube. “You know how they hate loud sounds, especially in the dungeons.”

Elijah swore at his Head of House and she returned the gesture before looking back down at the cube. He left the common room, slipping through the brick wall, and came face to face with Chase more or less. Elijah could see how stricken she was, how worried, and he wasn’t sure what he could do to help her. Elijah walked over to her and put one hand on her shoulder. “You alright, Fen?” He asked. “You know, if you wanted me so badly then you could have just sent an owl. You didn’t have to attack the wall.”

Chase almost collapsed against Elijah as he came out. She looked up at him, tears streaming down her face. "Elijah, I have to talk to you!" She said her hands shaking so hard she could barely lift up her hand to run it through her hair for the umpteenth time. "Elijah.." She looked around and then shook her head. "Not here, please, you have to come with me! Please." She begged, looking up at him. How could this have happened? Well, she knew HOW it happened, but she had always been so careful.. except that day... how could it have been THAT day with him.. the FIRST time.. She felt her tears slide down her face.

"I couldn't send an owl.. I just got word.. I mean.." She felt herself start shaking harder then ever. "Please.. do you know of an empty room, we can at least talk in? I haven't ever been down this corridor before.. I actually followed someone here, please, you have to hear me out.." She said, half thinking he would laugh at her and turn her away before going back into the Common Room. Even though she knew he would never do that. "Just a classroom or something.." She looked up at him with a tear stained face, her hands reaching out and taking hold of his wrist weakly.

Normally Chase was stronger then this, she hadn't broken down like this since the grounds when she had a break down over her family... now? Well she had just had the news of her life, something that would never make her the same again. Something that would bond her and Elijah together again, but already, just having heard the word Fen, made her calm down slightly. She felt herself relax against him, her head pressed against his chest. "Please... just anywhere, we need to talk in private, not outside your common room." She said softly, her eyes traveling up to meet his.

What could have happened, Elijah wondered? Nothing could possibly be worse than losing your family, Chase had been there so it couldn’t be that. Maybe his family had died...but why would she be upset and he’d be the first one to suggest a party. No, this was personal to her but Elijah didn’t know what had made her so desperate. Maybe his lyrics weren’t that bad after all. Elijah wasn’t catching everything she was saying but she looked like Vito had brought her family back and killed them all over again.

He brought her to him and wrapped his arms around her, cautiously rubbing circles into her back. He kissed her hair and took his wand out of his pocket. He flicked it at one of the closed classroom doors that probably hadn’t been in use since the ‘20’s and led her towards it. He stepped inside, bringing Chase with him, and closed the door; remembering to use a locking charm. Elijah released his worried fen for a few moments, long enough to draw up some silencing charms and some wards before taking her into his arms again.

“Fen c’mon...” He murmured, brushing her hair away from her face. “Nothing could have happened that could be worth all of this.” They had some highs and lows those two and Elijah was beginning to wonder whether they’d stay at the highs or just keep going back to the lows. He knew that come December he’d be the comatose version of what Chase was now but still...he had hoped that they could hold onto some sense of normality and joy. This was getting ridiculous now. “Talk to me. What could possibly warrant you making enemies with 60% of the Slytherin dorms?”

Chase let him lead her into an empty classroom, and stared around the room for a long moment until he had pulled her into his arms again. She collapsed against his chest, and stood there while he spoke, trying to let herself calm down in his arms. She was shivering uncontrollably, and not just from her tears, but from the cold of the room. She was dressed in her uniform, without the robes, so she only had her skirt and white dress shirt and tie. She shivered and burrowed herself against him, letting the silence stretch between them for a moment.

"Elijah..." She whispered, and then stopped and tried to figure out the words in her head before she said them. She looked up at him, and then backed away, grabbing a chair with her shaking hands and pushing it forward so that if he fell down, he at least had a chance to fall into a chair. "I'm going to say this.. quickly.. like a bandaid.." She said mostly to herself, her eyes locked on a point in the distance over his right shoulder.

"Elijah, about a month ago, you painted me in the Room of Requirement, and we had sex.." She said and then took a deep breath and looked up at him, her eyes finding his. Brown meeting brown, she prepared herself for the worst. "Elijah..." She bit her lip and then took a deep breath. "Shortly after that I should have gotten my... my.." She stammered, blushed and then went on. "Period... but I didn't, I didn't think anything of it, cause I often skip months.." She shook her mane of red hair, and kept eye contact. Finally she said the words that would change their lives forever.

"Elijah, I'm pregnant."

Merlin, this is crazy. Had it been anyone else I would have jumped ship ages ago. But Chase...she’s got this infectious presence. Elijah exhaled and tightened his hold around Chase. She was shivering and he didn’t blame her. The girl’s uniform was probably only for the male population’s pleasure and he did wonder what would happen if one of the ladies rebelled, opting to wear trousers instead. It wouldn’t start a revolution at all...she’d just get stared at a lot.

The idiotic train of thought was broken, thank Merlin, and Elijah looked down at Chase. This suspense was beginning to agitate him now but unless he wanted to find out by a load of gossipy third years ‘filling him in’ then he’d have to listen to Chase. Thankfully she was going to be swift. Elijah nodded nervously, wondering whether or not this had something to do with him. He swallowed and began to rub circles into Chase’s back with his fingers.

He watched her intently, wondering what she was trying to get at. She’d pointed out the obvious. The painting was finished, although he hadn’t told her, and he was contemplating whether to send it to Paris or keep it. The latter sounded much better in his opinion. He was a selfish creature. Why would he want anyone else looking at her? He wouldn’t actually so the latter would be much preferred. He blinked a little, coming back to earth at the mention of that fun little thing that Mother Nature brings to every woman’s door each month. But there was a slight difference. Chase got no gift. No wrapping paper and no bow. Skipping month or not...that usually only meant one thing... “Oh Merlin!”

The words were out of Elijah’s mouth seconds before she confirmed what he’d already realised and he hastily put distance between himself and his redheaded lover. “H-how?” He stuttered anxiously. “Wait no, stupid question. Sex equals sperm release... then egg release later...woohoo, happiness for the two and then baby...” Elijah brought his hands together to cohere with what he was saying. He was panicking. He knew as he stood there that given the chance his mind would have imploded by now. “...which is obviously what’s happened here...” Elijah brought one hand up to his neck and rubbed his skin; a nervous habit.

“Are you sure-” Elijah shut his mouth before he could insult her. Of course it was bloody well his! Who else would it belong to? It probably didn’t have a gender yet...so it was an it...it probably didn’t feel pain yet so it was disposable. But that thought made Elijah feel sick. That brought him back to when he was a child, when he overheard his Nanny talking with the physician, recounting his birth and how his mother had more or less abandoned him as soon as she could get up again. She didn’t want him. She never had. A child that could not feel pain still had feelings and it wouldn’t want to feel unwanted.

Elijah exhaled shakily and stepped hesitantly towards Chase. “A baby...” He repeated. “My baby...your baby...our baby...” Elijah’s blood had run cold. Everything seemed to have stopped even time itself, preventing him from moving on. He couldn’t run and hide. She needed him. They needed him. Elijah didn’t know why he was so...upset, confused – take your pick, he had more to chose from. He had to children of his own but they weren’t his really. This was his own ruddy creation; his own mistake. Elijah closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “A father...” He muttered to himself.

He could do this! He knew he could! He just needed to collect himself somehow. He felt as if someone had taken a sledge hammer to him and left him in pieces on the floor. “Baby...” He repeated yet again, still not believing her words or his. “Well at least it’s not kittens...” Elijah offered a weak joke. Then, he burst. “Merlin! I’m sorry Chase! I-I never wanted to this to happen? I should have done something that wouldn’t have let this happen I ... You don’t have to ... I don’t ... I’m sorry I just...” He couldn’t excuse himself, not this time.

Chase saw he had put two and two together before the words were out of her mouth. She saw the look of realization on his face, missed period, meant baby on the way. Chase felt herself back up a bit, almost afraid at his reaction. She felt small and breakable, her whole body was tender and she felt tears build in her eyes. He didn't want her, but he had to know. He was freaking out, asking rather stupid questions, but she didn't say anything. It was his, they had had sex, no one else could have gotten her pregnant. It was his baby, Elijah Krums.. and she could feel her mind rebelling against the thought of having another living thing sharing her body.

Chase watched him step nearer to her, and felt herself back up a bit in response. She was so afraid, so afraid he would leave her on her own, leave her to watch as her body let another thing into it, built it up inside of her, and left her alone to take care of the baby. But he was just walking towards her, She felt herself give a watery laugh when he said it wasn't kittens. "Elijah..." She said finally getting in a few words. "It's yours.." She said softly. "I went to the hospital wing.. because I noticed that there was something wrong.." She said slowly. Not wanting to give ALL of the details on how she had deduced that something was going on in her body.

"She did a spell... and realized I was pregnant.. gave me some vitamins.. and told me to go tell the father." She said softly, her hands shaking. "So I ran down here..." She looked up at him and felt herself shivering harder now. She moved towards him and wrapped her arms around him, her whole body shaking. "Elijah.." She whispered, tears starting to fall down her cheeks again. She couldn't figure out what to say though, it had all happened so fast. One minute they were best friends, the next, lovers, and then the next.. parents.

She buried her face in her hands, and fell away from him, falling back into the chair she had originally grabbed for him. "I don't know what to do!" She whispered. "I don't have any family, I have money sure, I could easily hire a nanny or something.. but.. but..." She could feel her body shaking harder then ever and she let her eyes drift up to his, sobs and shivers racking her body. "I'm keeping it.." She said softly. "I would like you to stay.. but.. if you don't want to... I don't blame you for walking out, it was a one time deal that ended up in a lot longer then a one time thing." She said softly. "If you want to walk out, now is the time to do it.. so that I can.. I can gather myself.." She stood up slowly, pulling her shoulders back, her hair falling into her tear stained face.

"I want you to be the father.. you are the father... but you don't have to be.." She said softly. "I could tell the baby... I could tell it.. that you loved it very much." She felt herself crumple inside, but she kept herself straight, tears sliding down her cheeks again. "But.. I need to know now... if you will stay with me or not, a baby is a big thing to take care of... it won't be born until I graduate, so that's good at least.." She said softly. "Nurse said it would be a June baby.." Finally she looked up into his eyes and felt a small smile tug her lips. "I hope it looks like you.." She whispered and then turned away from him, her back to him, letting him decide. "I can give you time to think about it if you want." She said softly, her back to him. "I won't force you to do anything."

Scenario after scenario was running through Elijah’s mind as his brain tried to sort out what he could do next that would leave him as unscathed as possible. Fatherhood wasn’t scary. He’d been there, he done that and he was used to it so that wasn’t why he was panicking so. The idea that this was his own flesh and blood, him passing on his genes to this little life...it was an instant commitment. It was, s Chase said, his decision but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to have a choice. He didn’t know what he wanted. The only thing he truly needed to know was why he let it happen. Why he was stupid enough to forget a simple spell. Even Muggles had methods of keeping offspring at bay but he’d forgotten everything, caught up in the heat of the moment.

Now, he was being bitten in the arse for his carelessness. This young woman was terrified of what was going to happen and yet he continued to stand there, sifting through things he could pull of and things that would put him into boiling hot water without a moment’s notice. He didn’t want this. What teenager wanted to be saddled with the responsibility of parenthood? This was a mere control thing for Elijah. With Fauve and Thierry he’d had the opportunity to choose and he’d wanted to take them on in his life. He had the same choice here but this one should have been easier to make. He had blood ties to this child. This baby was his as much as it was Chase’s and he was a fool to even consider walking away from them.

It was glorious to believe that his instincts were going to win over the unconscious need to protect himself. He had a bubble, one he protected people in. Inside that bubble he had himself, Nachash, Fauve and Thierry. Now, he needed to add Chase to that bubble; Chase and their baby. She was beautiful, even as she cried. In the months to come she’d swell and house life. It was something he himself could never reproduce within his own body; not that he wanted to mind you. It was the fact that women could bear children that made them truly amazing. They had the ability to hold this life force inside them and help it to grow, help it to live. Elijah didn’t know why anyone would want to walk away from that.

But even so, this couldn’t be what Chase wanted. No one would want this, not at their age. He knew what he needed to do, he wasn’t completely useless, yet a part of him wondered whether it was a good idea. The repercussions...would the baby be worth fighting through them? He could see his mother’s face now. The sour look on her face would linger long enough for him to see until she plastered a smile onto her face and explained to him that the best way to tackle the ‘problem’ he had would be to pay the girl off to keep quiet. Then his father would hit the roof and it wouldn’t just be figuratively. He wouldn’t be looked at the same way ever again. No, he’d be the Slytherin that got that Hufflepuff pregnant.

Here Elijah was worrying about his own life yet he was beginning to worry about Chase also. Her life couldn’t have gotten much worse but he’d gone and gotten her pregnant, like you do. She had no reason to keep the baby but she wanted to. It was that that made happiness swell within the downtrodden Slytherin. He had no clue what to do but he was realising that neither did she. She was offering him a chance to leave yet at the same time she was telling him how much she needed him to stay for her. And the baby loved him. It loved him...irrevocably like every child loves their parent until the parent disappoints them. Elijah knew that he loved this child as well. The situation wasn’t ideal but he knew that it wouldn’t have happened any other way.

But his child loved him. Surely that was enough to make him stay. He cared for Chase deeply, also. She was wonderful and right now, vulnerable. He needed to take care of her as much as possible. He needed to take care of his Fen and his child.

Elijah fell to his knees in front of Chase. He wanted her to look at him, say something that wasn’t filled with the despair that was filling the room. He couldn’t offer anything. Everything about the room made him feel worse. Only the small smudge of green ink on his shirt sleeve made things seem brighter. “Green or yellow for the bedroom?” He asked after a moment. “Actually...maybe a theme would be better. Magical creature’s maybe or the night sky? Maybe some meadows and sheep?” Elijah chuckled. “They could sort of baa when he or she starts crying. I don’t know...maybe something a little bit more magical than sheep? Maybe a Hippogriff or a Dragon?”

Elijah put his hand on Chase’s thigh and bit his lip before saying, “No more tears, Fen. I’m not going anywhere. We can draw happiness from this. It won’t all be doom and gloom,” He smiled despite himself and his eyes fell to her stomach. There was nothing there to suggest she was pregnant but Elijah didn’t think for a second that she was lying to him. That wasn’t Chase. She wouldn’t lie to him. “I want to be a part of my child’s life and yours. I’m not going to walk out just because you’ve spooked me.” A chuckled left his mouth and he took his eyes off of her abdomen. “I’ll admit it. I’m spooked but I’m not going anywhere...I promise.”

Chase turned and watched the struggle behind Elijah's eyes. She could almost see the pros and cons going through his head. What would he get out of this relationship? Nothing but Chase and their baby. What was he planning? He had a kid already, not his as he had told her once. Fauve, a little girl, who he called his daughter, but she wasn't actually. But now... now they had another little one on the way, and this one WAS his, and it would be calling this man its father, even if he decided not to stay.

Chase knew that her life had just gotten all the worse. Why was it that everything had decided to fall upon her in one time in her life. Lose her family, all her friends, be thrown into a school that was now filled with foreign kids from all over the world, and now.. now she was pregnant, a baby growing in her stomach, just at the stage of life, that made it possible to detect with a spell. She looked down at her stomach, and crossed her arms over it, imagining it swelling like a balloon, kicks and nudges from the infant within. She gulped and then found her eyes drawn to Elijah.

He had fallen to his knees in front of her, staring at her for a long moment. Before asking her what color the room would be. Chase felt her eyes tear up and she put her hand over her heart, feeling his gentle touch on her thigh, she looked down at him. "Elijah.." She whispered, but he went on. She fell down against him, falling to her knees and wrapping her arms around his neck, burying her face into the crook of his shoulder.

"Thank you so much." She whispered, all of her fears leaking out now. She had been so afraid that he would have turned around and walked out of the room, leaving her there alone again, never to see a friend again. Left to struggle through this by herself, but no.. he had decided to stay. Decided to help her with the baby. It might not work, they might split up, anything could happen. But for now, they were together, tackling this situation together.

"Thank you so much Elijah." She cried earnestly now. Tears making his shirt wet, but she didn't care at that point. Her fears had been washed out from under her. Leaving her a crying mess, so happy to see that he wouldn't leave. She moved away from his neck, and kissed him lightly, just once on the lips, before looking into his eyes. "I'm sorry." She whispered suddenly. "I don't.. I mean.." She stopped and then moved a little ways away from him, struggling to regain her composure. "I was so scared.." She whispered and fell back onto her butt, pulling her knees to her chest, staring up at him.

"I was so afraid... I don't have a family... Jack.. I don't know how she'll react to this... Andrew left me.. you're the only one who has been kind to me Elijah.. the only one who I could honestly say I could trust.." She felt her body start to shake again, and looked at him, tears sliding down her face. "And then.. the nurse looked at me, surprised, and handed me a bottle. Told me to go tell the dad.. I was stunned, I didn't.. I mean..." She stopped and slowly crawled to her hands and knees. "Thank you Elijah.." She let her lips touch his again, holding his face gently, afraid that if she let her emotions go, he would change his mind, and leave her life forever.

The redhead and the Bulgarian were living in a misshapen fairy tale that seemed to have no plot. The dilemma was present, a resolution hovering somewhere on the horizon but with that came the point where things got a lot worse. Elijah was the dashing Prince, Chase the beautiful Princess and the two of them were about to get royally stepped on, they just didn’t know by what yet. Be that by his irate mother, the tabloids or everyone else in the bloody world. There hadn’t been a point where things had gotten so bad that there seemed to be no escaping from it. There was a glimmer of hope though and that was that perhaps they weren’t in a fairy tale and it was just fiction.

Things were going to get better, even if Elijah had to write the tale himself just so he could make sure that they would be alright. He’d gotten his wish. He had his family now. He had Chase and their unborn child. He had Fauve and Thierry. They would have support as well, he was sure of it. They wouldn’t be alone surrounded by the galleons they didn’t need. Sure they were surrounded by galleons they didn’t need but that could go into things that they did need. Paris was Elijah’s home but it was no place to bring up a child. He wanted to be a part of his child’s life no matter what it cost him. He could live without a flipping degree and a pass in Wilson’s class because that didn’t matter. He’d made his fortune turning naked women into masterpieces, not hunting Dark Wizards or teaching idiots life skills.

He could do this. He knew he could. He could support them. He knew he could support his family; his growing a family. Paris would be for work. He wanted a home elsewhere for them. Perhaps in the countryside...in the middle of nowhere; a place that only a horse and cart could reach. He wanted somewhere quiet, away from the sodding Wizarding world. A place where he could let their children take their natural courses without being influenced by the world he and Chase had been influenced by. He could see himself feeling lazy in the mornings but still somehow dragging himself out of bed and heading down into the small village for some bread and milk. Of course naturally he’d spend at least an hour in the Chocolaterie before someone came and dragged him away.

Chase was as overwhelmed as she looked. It was a nice emotional rollercoaster to kick start their evening together. Elijah curled his arms around her, bringing her as close as their bodies would allow. Things were going get better. Somehow Elijah knew they had to. If they didn’t then the manuscript for this sodding fairy tale would be burned. Perhaps Paris didn’t need to be for work, only for drop offs of said work. This would consume his life and he knew it. Yet, he didn’t care. Fauve and Thierry had their places but they hadn’t shaken him as much as this one had. Perhaps it was because it was his, maybe it was because this was Chase sobbing in his arms because of his idiocy.

Elijah let Chase pull away from him and he smiled a little when she flopped back down onto the cold floor. He leaned into her touch when her hands reached his cheeks. He closed his eyes and returned her kiss. He broke the kiss and moved closer to her, resting his forehead against hers. He took her hands in his larger ones and looked her in the eyes. “You’re not alone anymore, alright? For nine months you’ll never be alone. You’ll have the baby and you’ll have me up until the point your badgers cut me off at your dormitory.” He smiled at her. “You never, ever have to be alone again. You’re never going to get rid of me, Chase Moor. Take that as a threat and a promise.” This time he laughed, the light and boyish excitement returning to his eyes. He captured her lips again and decided that his lyrics were wrong.