Is there any life for me after this?

Spring was finally here, which meant no more having to stay in the castle due to it been to cold for you to be even outside. Shadow knew she should feel about that spring was here, but to be honest she wasn't really happy about anything lately. On the outside Shadow pretended to be happy, but on the inside she was screaming at the top of her lungs. It didn't start to hit her until she intended the pureblood social dance. Heading out of the Slytherin common room she headed towards the lake before she stopped seeing couples out there giggling and having a good time playing in the water.

Sighing to herself she headed towards the gardens where not many people knew that she went and sat down by the blooming roses. Taking one of them in her hand Shadow smelled and smiled loving the smell of roses. Roses were her favorite flower, but not many people knew that due to them thinking she nothing but a cold hearted b**ch. That wasn't true and Shadow knew that it wasn't, it was just some people she just bumped heads with. Like Alice for example, it was clear that she didn't like her and called her a tramp, when Shadow done nothing to her but be best friends with the guy she likes.

Shadow had alot going on right now, her head was pounding with some many thoughts and feeling she thought she was going to explode. "Is there anything more of me then this?"Shadow asked herself as she picked off a rose and picked off the petals as they fell to the ground. Looking at the petals she realized that was how her life was, all scrambled up and a beautiful mess. Andrei was her best friend but he was keeping something from her concerning Alice, she had to find someone to marry or else her parents would do it for her and she was called a tramp of the school.

Longer days and brighter sun declared that the winter was over and the spring was here. Darius knew more that this time of the year was the hardest. The exams were coming up and he had to do hell loads of studying, but he could not resist to the urge of getting out from the castle and go for a nice and long walk.
He simply ignored those pretty couples that were in the hallways, on the schoolground – well, they were everywhere, but with his smile and high ego, he forbid himself to even look towards them. He was not even engaged although his mother was concerned about this. She wanted him to marry a nice young woman from a pureblood society and a wealthy family. Darius wanted this as well, but he had his own plans. After graduating he wanted to leave England and go somewhere else, explore and after years of traveling settle down somewhere nice and quiet, maybe even invent something or compose.

He lingered near the lake, throwing some pebbles into it, but he soon got bored and was forced to leave due to the 'birdie couples' that have multiplied from the time of his arrival. He rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed. Those little pairs could go somewhere else. Room of requierments or something, but not take place and disturb the peace of other students.

Darius did not notice where he was going until he realized that the air was filled with the smell of flowers. He wrinkled his nose. No, he liked flowers, he adored their grace, but only on the pictures. And yet, as this place seemed to be lonely despite the fact that it should be a hot spot for romantic teens, he proceeded to go further. Who took care of those plants? The head of Hufflepuff? Hats down before that person, he thought as he examined the roses. Magic had been used to make them grow like that, that he could tell. The size of the petals betrayed the flowers. He roamed around in the garden, hands in his pockets and eyes traveling from one side to another, but he forced himself to stop when he heard a quiet and a rather familiar voice from close by. Darius looked around and grinned when he saw a familiar figure sitting on the ground. Not truly aware if the students were allowed to pick any flowers, he quickly choose a white rose and cut it.

“Maybe this will cheer you up?“ he asked, kneeling before her and expanding his hand hand with the flower. “What makes you feel so sad, McNair? Is it because of the nickname one dumb idiot has given you?“ Darius questioned. A true Slytherin should never worry about anything another person says. He knew it better. If all of the Snake heads would be concerned about their reputation and rumors, they'd all be crying and trying to redeem themselves.

Shadow took the rose and smiled. "Thankyou Darius, it's beautiful."said Shadow smelling it before her sapphire eyes looked up at him and nodded. "Yeah I guess so, I know it's only one dumb Hufflepuff girl, but Andrei is making it seem like she's angel that can't do no wrong!"said Shadow disgusted. "I don't know what Andrei is doing with a girl like her, she's clearly a child who doesn't know how to hide her emotions but he said he's doing a plan with her or something so I need to trust him."said Shadow. "I guess I'm just worried about him that's all, I know he told me not to but I can't help it he's my best friend and been that way since we were little."said Shadow honestly. "God... I'm sounding like a pathetic Hufflepuff, god what the hell is wrong with me?"Shadow asked him shaking her head.

"I'm turning into this crying girl who cares about what others think about her and just wants someone to love!"said Shadow disgusted. "I'm not even a true Slytherin anymore Darius, I'm not me anymore!"said Shadow. "Even Andrei is worried about who I'm becoming and to be honest so am I!"said Shadow. "A true Slytherin never cares about this stuff, so why am?"Shadow asked him softly. Although Shadow had feelings, she always kept them hiding maybe thus time she was really showing them much to her dismay.

She really didn't know what it is, but all she knew that she wasn't the same person that she used to be. These stupid emotions were getting the best of her and making her weak something Shadow didn't like. Shadow was a very strong and independent girl, but she did tend to break at times. She was like glass, beautiful to look at, but once broken sharp around the edges.

When she started speaking, Darius immediately regretted the desicion of coming there. The last thing he wanted was to spend hours and hours listening to a girl to speak about how miserable her life was only because of another one. He sighed quietly. This all was because of one Hufflepuff girl? What fights did they have? The one who wore more make up than another was now labelled a whore? His lips formed a grin. Right, girls. Never understood their logic and he never will be able to.
But as she mentioned his younger brother, Darius was suddenly interested. Andrei was doing shots with a Hufflepuff? That was weird. From what he knew, Andrei was as typical as one Slytherin cold get. Prideful, arrogant and he would never hang out with wussies. Unless he had a reason to.

He positioned himself next to her and looked at the rose she was holding. “So who is this Hufflepuff?“ he asked. Maybe she was a Dark Follower? He had seen enough of Gryffindor students who had changed their alliances.

Darius looked at Shadow, dark look in his eyes. She was right, she was not a true Slytherin anymore, but she was a human and a woman after all. They had those odd mood swings and all of them were urgent to fall in love, get married, have kids and then live their lives happily ever after. Well, life was not always like that. “Maybe you should just calm down?“ He offered. Oh, wrong move, he knew that. Never say “Calm down“ to an angry girl who was at the edge of tears, but what was he supposed to do? Darius did not have that much experience with the girls as his younger brother did. “Maybe you should start keeping a personal diary? I've heard that helps when you're suffering from crisis. Or just a parchment. You can write down all your emotions and later burn it. Or, if you want, you can always just talk. With me for example. It would be rude of me just to leave you here after you've revealed so much.“ he added quickly, trying to avoid a fight or another emotional burst.

Shadow looked at him surprised that he didn't know about Longbottom a girl that Andrei been messing with. "Your kidding right? Alice Longbottom, she's a hufflepuff fourth year."said Shadow. "There's rumors all over school about them, that there a couple blah... blah..."said Shadow rolling her eyes. "She's not a dark follwer, to be honest she's in Potter's Army from what I heard."said Shadow. "Like I said before, Andrei said he's doing some plan, he didn't tell me what it was but I hope it crushes the poor girls ego bubble she's so caught up in."said Shadow smirking.

Shadow looked at him and laughed. "A diary? hm... a bit girly but I suppose I could do that."said Shadow honestly. "Although writing down my feelings and burning them sounds like a better idea, that way one one could red them!"said Shadow. When he said he could come talk to him she laughed. "Yeah right, I know how you are you don't like all this mushy talk and neither do I but here I am doing it!" said Shadow rolling her eyes. Shadow always seen Darius as a big brother she never had, he was always there to cheer her up or talk to when ever Andrei was doing whatever he was doing.

"I could tell you more if you like, but if Andrei asked where you heard this from I had nothing to do with it!"said Shadow crossing her arms. "Me and Andrei tell each other everything but for some reason he keeping his connections with Longbottom personal for some reason."said Shadow. "i mean why would he hide this from me Darius? it's not like I wouldn't understand!"said Shadow honestly. "Sorry... I'm getting mushy again aren't I."Shadow asked him. "Stupid bloody emotions!"Shadow muttered to herself clearly annoyed by them.

Darius shrugged. He did not ask his brother about his relationships with other girls. He simply did not care about that and he would never get tired of explaining this to everyone.
“That name means nothing to me. Why should I know a Hufflepuff anyway?“ Darius shook his head. Seriously, why? He had nothing in common with them, nor had they anything to talk about. He plugged his lips when she continued, soon making him laugh. “My brother is dating this Alice? From Hufflepuff? Seriously? You know, that also makes me feel worried,“ he admitted. He'd rather if his brother would marry Shadow for example, but not Alice. But then again, he was nothing but an older brother and in this case he could do nothing.
“I see. What ever he is planning, I'd suggest you trusting him.“ That was all that he could say on this topic. If she was really his best friend, then she should not doubt about his decisions.

He poked her shoulder with his fist. Well, at least she agreed with him on one point. Keeping a diary was good. At some points in his life Darius had also considered it, but as soon as he really opened this small book he bought for himself, he could not write anything down. Perhaps it was because he did not have anything to write. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to imagine himself in the dormitory, copying down everything that happened with him on that day.

“Dear diary,
today I woke up at 5 am, had a nice shower, had my vegetarian breakfast, skipped some lessons, attended some lessons, skipped a lesson again and then I went to the library but as there is nothing interesting to do, I went to the Slytherin's rooms and did at least half of my homework. I want to go home and I want to buy myself a new cat.“

Yep, that would be it. Girls, he supposed, wrote it with a bigger emotion. “Hey, that does not mean that I can't listen. To make you feel better, I can even make a face that I actually care and your problems and concerns about boys interest me.“ Hell, he could even pick another rose and give it to her if that would stop her being moody and sad. When she continued, he leaned his head back and looked towards the sky. It was a rare sight. Clear, blue sky with pretty white clouds. Darius loved summer and spring.

“I don't know,“ he admitted. “What if he really likes this... Longbottom girl, but is afraid of telling you? You should approach him with this topic, or, if you want, I can talk with him about that.“