To Fix This Mess

She nearly pointed out that it hadn’t just been one thing that he had done to her, but she really didn’t want to get him angry again. Who knew what he could manage when he had her leaning against him? Regardless, his words made her relax, burrowing her face into his neck and trying to keep her shoulders from shaking. He pulled her in closer, clearly not taken aback by the fact that Nessa had to suck in breaths to feel like she had enough air.

“I just didn’t think,” she whispered finally.

Nessa’s thoughts immediately jumped to what else she may not have considered fully. His arms loosened and she looked up at him, eyes wide with shame. “Dylan, I shouldn’t have asked that. I can’t make you promise that.” She moved to sit up, quickly giving up upon realizing that he had yet to release her. Moira would likely have her head sooner than she would let Dylan protect her. Nessa wanted to make him take on the responsibility for her, but Nessa knew full well that it was no way to live.

Having someone else taking care of her wasn’t something Nessarose wanted. Not when she could have the independence she had always wanted. Without it, she knew she could manage, but who wanted to be dependent when they had the chance to live for themselves? No, she didn’t want to reply on Dylan for the rest of her life. Sure, she hoped that he would choose to protect her. But she couldn’t hold their son over his head forever. Eventually, the boy would grow up and leave, and sooner than later, Nessa would be required to join the alphas and the pack. She couldn’t see any way out of it.

“It would just be easier for everyone if you acted like I ran away or was… missing. Or got hurt or something. I don’t know. Just pretend you don’t know what happened. I’ll go somewhere else and we can- can keep in touch or something.” Her brow furrowed suddenly, wondering how it was supposed to work with her transformations and this pregnancy. It didn’t make any sense. The full moons would undoubtedly be painful and dangerous.

Her thoughts began to run, fear striking her with each rampant worry and realization. None of it would work. None of it made sense. She didn’t understand how any of it would be a good thing, even down the road, even though she chided herself for it. Her son, her poor son, would have the most bizarre family life, and likely a rough one at that. Her heart ached for him.

Turning her head away from him, Nessa feared that if she were to actually look at Dylan, he would somehow manage to convince her to join the pack, or to do whatever it was he had originally been requested to do. For all she knew, he had been trying to nudge her in that direction from the moment he walked into the potions room to talk to her. She hoped that wasn’t the case, but wasn’t going to accept the thought without wondering after whether it held any truth. She pursed her lips, deciding that she would rather get caught in her thoughts than have to argue with him again.

Moira's probably going to kill me.

Was he really willing to put his life on the line for Nessarose? The answer was pretty simple, even if she wasn't pregnant. The answer was yes. He was willing to put his life on the line. He was willing to go against Moira's orders to keep her safe. An he would continue to do it after their son was born and he could fend for himself. Their son was going to be half Werewolf, which meant that he would have to join the pack a well at some point.

Before Dylan would have been anxious to see his son as a member of the pack, but now he wasn't so sure that was what he wanted. He knew it was what James and Moira would want, but did he really want to let his son go out into the world as a murderer, a cold blooded wolf that would do anything to please their leader? Like he had been doing the past few months? No. He didn't want that, but if James had any say, it would be inevitable. Even if he tried to protect him.

Maybe Moira would take pity on them though. Maybe she would make an exception, since he followed any orders she'd given him so far. He highly doubted it, she wasn't the forgiving type. She'd probably see what he wanted to do as defiance and go after him and Nessa. She could harm the baby, and that was the last thing he wanted.

"I would have done it anyways." He answered her after a moment to let her words sink in. "I wouldn't have let you go into the pack anyways, especially not while you're pregnant," his eyes travelled down to her middle and he fought to keep his hand where it was, "I'll protect you from them no matter what. Even if you don't want me to." He admitted, sounding more sincere than he ever had.

"I'm not going to let you go anywhere Nessa. You're staying here, you'll be safe with the Hayes and everyone else in this school. I'll be here to keep you safe if Moira or James send someone to do anything to you. I know how to fight them off and I can easily tell them apart from everyone else in the school." He told her. "If you don't want me to, I'll just warn someone, one of the professors or something so they can help you." His arms dropped from her body, hands curling into fists as he spoke.

"Just.. Don't go away. Don't leave."

Nessa shot him a highly skeptical glance, clearly disbelieving. His intention had always been to make her join the pack; it would be a lie to say she expected him to actually protect her if none of this had happened. He had no reason to, and she wasn’t sure she would have wanted him to if he had never turned her or if she wasn’t pregnant. As much as she wanted to blame Dylan for everything, she knew that she had agreed to what had happened – aside from being turned, mind, but still.

She watched his eyes drift down to her stomach, cheeks burning in response without her willing them to. He sounded truthful, but then, had done so before and it had turned out to be an outright lie. Who was she to believe him now? He seemed to think through all of the options very quickly – more quickly than Nessa could keep up with, considering her current state. His strangely obvious concern made her chest ache, pointing out just how amazed she was at his mercurial nature and sudden appearance of caring for her. Nessa’s parents wouldn’t be as careful with her or as worried when she told them, of course. They were far too strict and sure of where their daughter should have been heading. That was all too obvious, considering their first daughter.

She watched him for a breath before reaching for one of the hands he had clenched, prying the fingers open with her own. Nessa glanced up at him, eyes searching his for some sort of proof that he was being honest with her. Surprisingly – especially for her – she found it.

She let out a quiet sigh of relief, fingers twining with his own. “…Okay.” She returned finally, voice a whisper. She nodded once before squeezing his hand lightly. “Okay.”

--

The rest of classes that day, Nessa couldn’t focus. It was massively strange for her to be distracted during class or to walk out of the room without knowing what had been discussed. Ignoring the looks that Adrienne passed her way, Nessa moved her chair closer to Dylan’s and let her knee brush against his leg. She wasn’t sure she could handle showing people that she had stayed because he asked her to, but she also wasn’t sure she would make it through the classes without him nearby. Anything could go wrong at any time. One of the werewolves could out her to whomever their alpha was, and then who knew what would happen?

Professor (Mister?) Hayes glanced at her as if he wondered when she had shown up. He clearly remembered her, seeming surprised that she had abandoned Hogwarts for his school. Her face fell, surprising the both of them, before he turned back to the other side of the room to continue his lecture. Nessa’s leg started bouncing impatiently, brushing against Dylan’s every few jumps. This anxiety couldn’t be good for her or for the growing baby; if it didn’t go away, she knew it could mean bad things for both herself and the child.