For what it's worth, I think I'm still in love with you.

This was like so many other times when he’d watched her fall apart. Elijah had hated it that time and the time before that and the time before that – this now was no better than the rest. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He realised though that he’d gotten nowhere. He wouldn’t get to touch Kitty let alone hold her. He was her father and he felt as if there was an ocean between them; just as there was an ocean between him and Chase. He needed to build a boat, get in it and find her again because Merlin knew he missed her. He could only do but watch the woman he loved crumble before him. He knew though that he had to do something about her sadness. He wanted to make her happy again. He wanted a smile to lift her lips. He hated it when she cried.

Elijah sighed and dropped himself down onto the floor. With the food forgotten and his empty stomach pushed to the back of his mind, Elijah slid towards Chase. He wrapped his arms around her slim frame and hooked one arm under his legs before lifting her into his lap. He kissed her temple and cradled her against his chest, rocking them gently backwards and forwards, similarly to the way he’d done when they were in the rain that time. He kissed her temple again and began to rub circles into her back.

“Hey beautiful,” He murmured. “Stop this crying nonsense. I’m here. I’ve got you. I’m real. I’m not going to let you get in trouble, alright? You want something; you come to me, okay? I love you Fen. I’m going to look after you, alright? Whether you bloody like it or not. I don’t care whether I have to break into this place every single time,” Elijah paused and chuckled, taking a moment to kiss her temple again before continuing, “I will look after you. We’ll sort this place out. We will fill it with potted plants and stuff you don’t need but we’ll put in it anyway and then I will invade your house every day just to find new ways to break in. Stop crying baby...please.”

Elijah leant his head against Chase’s and cuddled her closer to him. He sighed and reached up, brushing a few tears off of her cheeks. Elijah didn’t know where to go from here or what to do with her. He didn’t want to leave her in this state. He didn’t want to leave either of them in the state the house was in. They literally had nothing. He’d have to go outside before he left and transfigure a few things into a table and chairs – maybe even make a temporary bench of sorts that’ll do for the living room. He didn’t know. He just wanted to fix this. He didn’t think they’d be together again after what happened. He still loved her though and he’d made his promise. He was going to look after her to matter what the cost to him.

“I love you,” he reminded her. “And there is a little girl in the other room that loves you too. We both need you to be happy, Fen. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy again. You deserve it. I’ve ruined enough. I’m going to make this better. I promise. You’ll see. Everything will be fine. You’ll see.”

The second Elijah touched her so gently, she immediately broke down even harder. Sobs that had refused to rack her frame, now did, and she buried her head in his chest. Inhaling his scent, crying hard into his chest. Curled up against him, it felt like that time in the rain, except this time there was no rain, they were in an empty house, and they were completely different people. Chase clutched at his chest, listening to him talk so gently, it broke apart what pieces of her heart she still had left for her to use. She felt short of breath, and so very, very tired. He spoke of filling the house with things they didn't need, and coming to her, and saying he loved her. And for the first time, she truly and wholeheartedly believed him.

After a while, her sobs slowly calmed down, he had kissed her temples, and wiped away her tears, and finally the tears stopped coming. "Elijah... this is only the beginning.. it just.. doesn't get better... I'm only seventeen.. you're only seventeen.. we're so young..." She said and shook her head unhappily. "It's not going to be fine... it doesn't get better... I can't have you.." She said and her hand slowly reached out to touch his face, feeling the curves of his cheek bone, and jaw line. Tears dripped down her cheeks still, but she contented herself with memorizing his face. Looking at his face, but not into his eyes for the moment, memorizing for future reference. Memorizing so she wouldn't forget him. Could never forget him in a million years, but she needed reminded right now.

"Elijah... I'm so sorry.. I'm so sorry I'm so stupid.. I'm sorry I left you.. I shouldn't have.. it was stupid.. I should have listened... but I was so tired of it.. I wanted to be happy... I wanted someone who would stick by me.. someone I wouldn't have to worry about.. and now I've lost the greatest thing on the earth.. you... and.. I'm an idiot.." She whispered, leaning in and kissing his cheeks, his forehead. Tears dripping faster down her face as she did so. She curled up even tighter against him. "What started out as a one night fling.. turned into something so much more.. turned into a baby.. with hopes.. and dreams, while her mother suffers.. turned into us.. and then not us.. and then us.. and then not us again.. It all happened so fast... where did the time go?" She asked softly, finally landing a kiss on his lips. Their first in a Long.. long time.

Elijah didn’t know how he was going to make it better. She was right. They were seventeen. They weren’t old enough to know better. He could work this though, he knew he could. He’d fix this. He’d move her in with someone if he had to. Sevastian would probably have her – or Valantin who would readily love anyone that came through his door. Elijah just wanted her safe and well and happy. He wanted Kitty to grow up knowing who he was. He wanted to have a good relationship with her. He wanted Chase to still be a mother figure to Fauve and Thierry – he wanted her input. He just wanted to be a part of their lives to – was that too much to ask? He wanted this. All he’d ever wanted was to have his own family. He wanted to supply what his parents failed to supply him with – loving parents. He just wanted to be what his father wasn’t. He didn’t want to be presented with his five year old having not spent their early years with them. He didn’t want to be sent weekly updates on progress within lessons or whatever. He didn’t care. He wanted to watch his children grow up through his own eyes – not tests results and written accounts from nannies and tutors.

“You can have me,” he whispered. “You’ve got me. You’ll always have me. I’m just...I just don’t want to lose you again. I couldn’t...not again.” He wrapped his arms further around her and swallowed, unsure as to what to say next. He wanted to prove he wasn’t going to leave. He wanted to show her. He wanted her to believe him. He missed this. He missed her. He missed the familiar body in his arms. But then, she started to apologize. Elijah shook his head. “No, no, no...I’m sorry. I buggered it all up. I should have just walked out or sent her back to Paris. I shouldn’t have let her take advantage of my predictability. You were right to leave I just wished you’d have listened to me. I was going to stick by you. There were going to be no more shenanigans but everything just went wrong. I wanted to marry you. I just...I screwed it all up Chase and I’m-”

She cut him off with her lips and Elijah’s words died in his throat. His eyes fluttered shut and his grip on her body tightened as he drew her closer to him. The kiss felt so right – nothing was wrong about it. She was where she was supposed to be – in his arms. There was no other place in the world she wanted her.

Chase couldn't believe she had kissed him. But why didn't it feel wrong? Why didn't she feel like there was something wrong about it? It felt so right, being wrapped in his arms again, kissing him passionately. Her hands were holding his face, and he pulled her closer. It was like old times... wrapped in each other's arms.. only this time.. she wasn't pregnant, and the product of their union was asleep in the other room. Chase whimpered softly into the kiss and tried to move closer into his arms, she kissed him until she was out of breath, and longer then that even. Finally she pulled away, and rested her forehead against his. "But you aren't mine Elijah.. you aren't.. you're going to get married... and have other children... we aren't together anymore.. and that's what I want.. I want.. to wake up in your arms in the morning.. and see your face.. and smile.. and know that I have you.. when you aren't mine to have anymore.." She whispered and more tears streaked down her face.

Chase sniffed, and kissed him again, this time a bit harder, less passion, more need. Need to kiss him, need to hold him, to feel him against her. "I miss you so much." She whispered and hugged him around the neck, burying her face in his shoulder. "I've been so alone.. even with Calvin.. he makes me feel better... just in general.. but never as right as I do right here... he's to.. much like a child, I feel the need to mother him.. not love him.. Elijah.." She said rambling, her arms about his neck, starting to cry again in his arms. Why did she always have so many tears? She never could hold them in.. they just came out.. when she felt so sad.. so sad, she started to think about hold times of being sad.. her parents.. ex boyfriends... She lost herself in his arms again, letting herself rest, and her breathing relaxed as she held herself close to him, missing this, wanting this.. needing this.

Pure, unadulterated need – that was what was scorching through Chase into Elijah. When she broke the kiss, Elijah stifled the whine threatening to leave his mouth. He rubbed his hands up and down her arms and leaned his forehead heavily against hers, his lips anxious to be back against hers once more. He frowned a little and shook his head, his fingers lacing with hers. “I’m yours,” he breathed. “I am a mere mortal in the presence of a goddess. I will always be yours.” Those words sounded so familiar on his tongue and so familiar with Chase – as if he’d said it before. Elijah licked is lips in thought and tapped his fingers on her knuckles before letting his lips drift across her cheek. He hummed happily and smiled before reaching down and kissing her to the side of her mouth.

“I’m yours, Chase. You might not always have me like this but I’m here.” He brought his hand up and grazed his fingers across her heart. “I have set up camp there and I’m not leaving. You’re here,” he touched his own chest. “You always will be. This wasn’t ever a fling for me. I don’t keep paintings, Chase. I keep them in storage, sure; for rainy days. I kept your paintings. I kept both actually. And guess what? They’re all mine.” Elijah laughed and kissed her gently again in the same place. “I’m sorry, Fen. I’m sorry about the way this worked out. I’m always going to be here for you. Always. I think I said once that you’d have to fight to get rid of me. You’ve fought, beautiful, but I found you. I’m not leaving you Chase, not again. I don’t care what form of relationship we have as long as you’re in my life – as long as you and Kitty are in my life. I don’t know what I’d do with myself without my girls. I don’t know what I have done without you two and without Fauve and Thierry. That wasn’t my decision, understand that. You’ll always see them. I’ll bring them with me. I’m never going to leave you alone again okay?”

Elijah accepted Chase’s kiss readily, his words died in his throat with a moan and his arms tightened around her. His hand came up to cradle the back of her neck and he brought her as close to him as their bodies would allow. She could melt through him and he still wouldn’t have been happy. Elijah broke the kiss and brushed Chase’s hair away from her face. He cradled her face in his hands and kissed her gently on the nose. “You’re so beautiful.” He told her. “I think I might have overstayed my welcome – or not as the case probably is. Perhaps I should go..”

Chase couldn't believe she couldn't stop kissing him. What happened to her slamming the door in his face? What happened to that? No.. now she lay on the floor, sitting on his lap, tears still falling down her face, and kissing him so hard she was afraid he would disappear. When the kiss broke, Chase sat there, sitting there, in his arms, his arms wrapped around her, she felt so comfortable, for the first time. Chase listened to him speak, and closed her eyes when he kissed the sides of her lips. Chase was so sad, so happy, so everything all at once. Everything together, she was sad he wasn't hers, but happy he was here. Angry with herself because she had left him.. angry with him for letting her go.. upset because he would eventually have to leave. He would never leave her, her heart nearly burst. Why couldn't she have heard that before she left him? He had probably said it, but she was so distracted.. she hadn't heard it at all.. he wouldn't leave her, and she didn't want him to leave.. even though he would have to leave her alone for a while anyway... go off to the other life he led.. she was the other woman now.. the woman he kept hidden away, because if his wife found out.. Chase's heart nearly broke when she even THOUGHT of him having a wife.. it just didn't work... but there it was, he was going to marry someone else, have other children, and leave her alone.

He would forget her...

Chase sniffled, and looked into his eyes. Then she would have to love him for as long as he could put up with her. When he left.. she would die inside, but he'd be gone.. and she would be her own person... she just had to enjoy the present.. and not think about when he would eventually leave her. Chase closed her eyes and smiled when he kissed her nose, and she sighed softly. "You don't have to leave.. if you don't want to..." Chase felt her stomach growl loudly, and her eyes darted to the sandwich he had made earlier. "You can stay to eat... I kind of... refused it earlier.. but.. I'm so hungry." She said and bit her lower lip. He had compared her to an emancipated dog, and obviously that meant she had started losing weight already.. in fact she hadn't even noticed it... but she had in fact been losing more and more weight ever since she had left Elijah's house.. until she was looking more like a skeleton in her skin. Kitty looked fine, perfectly healthy, and well fed.. but Chase had been losing weight like crazy for a long time.

Slowly, Chase pushed herself away from Elijah and stood up. Moving to the futon, she picked up the sandwich and stared at it. She wasn't hungry though... her stomach was growling, but she felt no hunger. She bit her lip and set the plate down again, staring at the fireplace. "I don't know what's wrong with me.. I can't eat.." she said softly, looking over at Elijah, before burying her face in her hands. "At least it isn't affecting Kath..Katie.." She said softly, shaking her head, and trying to make herself be happy for Elijah... Trying to make herself smile again... actually smile, any smile she had given him, hadn't really felt.. real.. not anymore.. real smiles were something that she had completely forgotten to do.

Elijah didn’t honestly want to leave but he knew he had to. They’d be expecting him back in an hour or so and he wanted to pick up some things before he headed back and he didn’t want to leave it too late. He didn’t want to leave her – or Kitty. He didn’t want to leave his girls to fend for themselves. With a sigh though, Elijah resigned himself to the fact that he would have to leave them. He pressed a kiss to Chase’s forehead and watched as she retreated and returned to the sandwich that he wished so desperately that she would eat. He rose to his feet and leaned down to press another kiss to her face, this time to her temple. Elijah’s lips lingered there before he broke away and straightened up once more.

His eyes drifted over the door that kept him away from Kitty. He sighed again and curled a strand of red hair behind Chase’s ear. His eyes then travelled down to the watch clasped around his wrist. It was later than he’d intended to leave going home but now he really did need to make his way back into London. Elijah picked his bag up off of the floor and slung it across his shoulders. He rubbed Chase’s shoulder and managed a sad smile before glancing back down at his watch.

“I have to go, love.” He murmured. “They’ll be expecting me back within the hour so I had better make a move now. D’you...do you mind if I say goodbye to Katie?”