Eis Estate

Sunny was more than glad to be given an out in the situation she found herself thrust into. Max had barely finished his sentence and she was in motion. She knew what he meant before he could get the words fully out. Her stubby hands immediately dropped her silverware atop her plate and scooped it up, wrapping around the glass as she attempted to hold them aloft. She did a quick little hop, shuffling her feet midair, and then powerwalked out of the room, throwing her shoulder out to open the door. It swung open and a gaggle of house elves quickly pretended to be cleaning the entryway. Sunny paid them no mind and hurried on her way, leaving them all to regather, pressing their large ears against the door to listen in.

Jack ticked her head, slightly confused as to the serious nature of Max’s tone. Max was not the serious one. Sure, she was the jokester, but she was also a lot darker. It was Max who was so light-hearted that he could perfectly get along with Sunny when she was in a playful mood. The sudden switch put Jack’s mind out of ease, as she was not certain how to respond to him in a way that was safe and predictable. She was not in any state to properly manipulate as it was, so his throwing her a curve ball was even worse than usual. She was in murky waters with oars she had little practice with – how the hell was she to navigate this?

He was saying a lot. A lot, a lot. She was drowning in his words and worse, they were making her do something she had been very careful to avoid – they were making her feel. She felt guilt, and shame, and indignation, and sadness, and regret. But what right did Maximus Morrison have to track her down and draw her out of the alcohol-induced, Christmas-themed spiral she was on. She was no harm to anyone – Sunny was allowed to have all the fun in the world, they home was being taken care of, and she still had money in her accounts. What right did Max have to intervene in their lives?

She tried to stay calm, because she recognized that the alcohol in her system had a tendency to cause her to mimic hysteria. She took a deep breath and on the exhale said, “I understand… that you have been worried. I appreciate your concern. But we are perfectly fine on our own. Perfectly fine. Sunny and I have needed the time away.”

Max ran his hands through his hair, anger and discomfort flowing through him. He was upset and it bothered him that she wasn't upset to. Never before had he felt like the emotional one or like he was overreacting but the longer she spoke in that slightly confused, all-too-steady tone the more angry he got. This.. calm, cheerful creature wasn't Jack. He despretely sought for some trace of his old roommate in her eyes and coming up more or less blankly.

"People don't just do that, Jack." He snapped, feeling slightly as if he was scolding a child. "You can't just drop everything and suddenly decide to take some time off." His hands had dropped from his head and were once again moving about in the air as he unconsciously used them to exaggerate his words. "I wrote everywhere; the store, the team, even Hogwarts but I got more of an explanation than any of them did. You left a life behind."

Max cautiously moved closer to Jack, the space between them still feeling infinite. He searched his face, only just noticing the stiffness that was appearing there. Where was the Jack Dyllan that he had grown to - what? Grown to what? Care for? No, that wasn't right. She was less than a friend but more than a roommate. Something he had never attempted to define in his head simply because it raised too many uncomfortable questions when he did. He should not have been this offended by her disappearance but it still felt like a personal dis.

"You've got people who love you back home. And did you even ask Sunny? She wrote to me, asking me to come. Do you really think she's happy being dragged away from her life too?" Max's rhythmic voices waxed and waned but his volume was unconsciously raising, his yells only restrained for the benefit of his dignity and an attempt to regain composure. He shouldn't be this upset. Truly, Jack had done nothing wrong. He had no claim over her life or how she chose to live it. So why did she suddenly feel like part of his responsibility?

Why did he want her to be?

Somewhere inside of her, the little tiny Jacks that ran her brain were sounding the alarm. They could feel old Jack rising up within this strange shell of a Jack, and they were not certain how this shell, this skin would respond. A few of them were certain there would be a catastrophic implosion, which had the potential to take Maximus out as well. The little Jacks in her brain had not had to deal with old Jack in so long – they could not find the files on proper protocol to handle a chaotic situation such as this. Surely, catastrophe was soon to strike.

Maximus was doing something that had typically been reserved for Jack : he was looking angry. Or, at least, frustrated. She had never seen him get to this point. Sure, she had seen him irritated. Even a happy-go-lucky person like Max had their days where screaming redheads, chaotic animals, sarcastic teenagers, and mischievous children were enough to make him frustrated enough to look irritable. But, he had always tried to recover with grace, and had rarely stayed in anything less than a good mood for too long. This was surprising however, and new-singing Jack simply could not respond properly.

Perhaps it was time to bring out the big guns.

He was rattling off his list of grievances, and she tried to react, but she just… couldn’t. Old Jack was sitting there, thrashing around and begging to be released, but there were dense layers of alcohol-induced faux-happiness and Christmas carols. It would be a miracle if Old Jack could break her way through that – but it was important not to forget that Max was dealing with Jack Dyllan, champion, Beater, bat-shit crazy badass.

She took a deep breath. And in the calmest, most dispassionate of voices, she said, “Why does it matter, Max? Why the f*ck does it matter?”

Emotions that he normally tried so hard to restrain poured out of Max. Anger, frustration, longing, hopeless, all fell to the floor and puddled around his feet, slowly but surely filling the room and threatening to drown them. But as Max struggled for air Jack stood before him calm and collected, only rubbing in more what a wreck he had let himself become. Her sanity was going to drive him mad.

She spoke and he had to hold in a cry. He needed her to show him something, anything, that she was feeling. Jack stood like a statue and Max had to resist the urge to go up and shake a reaction out of her. He had gotten screamed at for little things like leaving the toothpaste cap off, playing his violin, or giving Sunny chocolate at breakfast but now he would have taken her anger gladly. Max had been slowly getting closer to his flatmate, almost hoping she would hit him or move away, anything that gave any feeling at all.

But no, she was a shell. A ghost.

Max forced himself to lower his voice slightly to come closer to her calm tone. As he spoke his voice nearly trembled with the strain of keeping collected, a battle which he had clearly lost. "Because you are somebody! You're important!" He was sure now that she could never understand him - the blank look in her eyes told him that. Maybe she was doomed to forever be this lifeless, passionless being that he had grown so angry at.

The anger dropped out of his voice, allowing the hopeless that had filled his stomach start to wash over him. "And I miss you, Jack. I miss you and I want you home."

(And now, a post heavily inspired by Demons by Imagine Dragons)

She could see something flickering in those blue eyes, those blue eyes usually so full of light and happiness and sweet thought. There was a dark shadow in them now and Jack felt something catch in her throat and something very dark and dangerous threatened the light in Maximus Morrison’s eyes. He had been one of the few happy people she had tolerated, because it was a choice. He had always chosen to be happy, which seemed like such an obvious solution to the problems in this world, and yet was such a hard result to receive. And now, something was going to take that away, and she hated it. Whatever it was, she hated it with a fiery passion. And that’s when she realized…

It was her. What she was doing right now. She was destroying the light in his eyes.

She felt as though she had tunnel vision. This fake little world she had set up for herself was crashing in on itself, walls falling around her. Some dark part of her inside was trying to clamber its way up, and panic overtook her. She was ruining one of the purest people she knew. She was ruining Max… hell, she was ruining Sunny too. She was destroying everyone around her because she felt destroyed. Because she had lost love, she had lost friends, and because there had always been something inside of her, promising that she really was no good.

But Max had chosen. Why couldn’t she?

She swallowed.

“I don’t know how.”

She looked up at Max, realizing she had answered her own question, not his. She dropped her head, her gaze, and stared down at her hands in her lap. Calloused, pale. They looked so weak right now. She took a shuddery breath. “To tell you the truth Max, I’m a pretty stupid f*cked up idiot, and I don’t know how to go home and be happy.”

Max's shoulders sagged and the strong posture that he had adopted was quickly fading away. The uncertainty in her voice made him want to reach for her but her words kept his frustration prominent. For the first time Max was forced to consider that maybe she wasn't doing something reckless, stupid, or unplanned. Maybe this was just her way of giving up. The thought felt wrong because no matter what demons she had, Jack always managed to be the strong one. That was what Max admired so much - her ability to go through hell and just keep going.

But now he could barely manage a glance up at her. His sympathetic nature was kicking in with full force and it was only by purposeful will that he managed not to become a puddle of comforting words at her feet. Besides, even if he wanted to there was no way he could say what needed to be said to her face. That would require a bravery that Max could only dream of possessing. Instead he let the anger drop from his tone and asked; "So you're just going to stay here?"

"Would you really rather be here pretending to be happy than at home where you can be honest about it? We're all f*cked up, Jack. But I'd rather be idiots together than alone." He shrugged.

((This was longer but then it deleted, I got mad, and now it became this. Sorry <3))

(No worries. We've all been there.)

Jack stared at Max, looking at him as though she had never seen him before. This was definitely a new Max, or perhaps this was just the Max she had never seen, the Max that came out when she left him to his own devices. It was strange to think that since they had not been away for more than a day or two since they had moved in together last March - nine months, it was hard to believe! It felt as though it had been years and years that they had all coexisted in Layabout Lane, and yet she sometimes felt as though she had just become acquainted with the man yesterday.

Right now was another one of those times where he seemed so new to her life. He spoke so familiarly to her, so frankly. More frank and more familiar than people who had been dealing with her for years. But she also had no clue who this man before her was either. He seemed so comfortable with her and she still thought of him as a stranger sometimes. A very comforting, strange presence.

Jack stood slowly, looking down at her mug. She pushed it away from her, pushing it towards Max so he could steal it away from her, hopefully. "It's not coffee," she said, shame creeping into her voice. That was all she could say - she had gotten to the point where she was too ashamed to even admit that she was drinking this early. She cleared her throat, reaching up and rubbing her eyes. "I..." She sighed. "I'm tired of doing shitty things to people. I wanted to give Sunny a good Christmas. And I wanted to remember what... what happy feels like."

With the look Jack gave him as she pushed her coffee mug across the table, Max just started to register her building emotions and his fell. Her words passed in one ear and out the other, barely holding any meaning for the exhausted man. It was only when the smell coming from the cup hit his nose that he fully understood what she meant and even then he had little reaction beyond a confused look and a half-open mouth. The words that had come so easily minutes before were sticking in his throat, unable to form whole thoughts.

The reasoning that she shared now was not so different from what she had been saying all along but now that it was paired with that sadly guilty look in her eyes he couldn't find the strength to chastise her. He managed another "Jack, I -" but was unable to finish his thought. Was there any way to deal with this conversation without seeming like an idiot, an asshole, or creepy? How did you explain missing someone who wasn't yours to miss?

Sunny had not been able to eat in peace. She thought it would have been easy to hurry off to her room, enjoy her bacon, and then take a little nap or something while the grownups figured out what was going on. They were grownups, after all. She should have been able to rely on them to be able to sort things out like the responsible, mature people they were. She was only halfway to her room when she realized who exactly she was dealing with. She looked down at her plate, and let out a long sigh. There would be no enjoying breakfast this morning. She shoved a few pieces of bacon into her mouth, balanced the plate on the hands of a suit of armor, and ran back to the kitchen.

She shouldered her way through the gaggle of house elves and very quietly cracked the door open, ever so slightly. The house elves murmured, but did not dare bid her leave, and they could not tear themselves from the door either. The entire group of short-lings listened intently and Sunny found that her suspicions were most certainly confirmed. The two adults that were supposed to be in charge of her could not even communicate with each other properly.

Sunny rolled her eyes and caught the eyes of Corky, her favorite of the elves. "Idiots," she said. "You can call them Mistress and Master Idiot because that would be the nicest thing you could say."

"Miss?" Corky repeated, not sure that Sunny was kidding.

Sunny wasn't.


Jack did not like the look he was giving her, and it upset her even more because she felt... ashamed. Very few people had ever made her feel ashamed, and never before had she been ashamed of her drinking. She had always felt rather justified. But even now, she knew that she had a problem. Not just with drinking, but with this whole... escapism plot. Because, what else was this little episode of hers, but another attempt to escape her regrets and fears that always so inevitably came back.

She stared at Max, ashamed to have pushed him to a lack of words. She really was that hopeless, then. She dropped her gaze, her hands falling to the edge of the table and her shoulders hunching forward as her neck drooped. She took in a deep breath, red hair falling in front of her face, shielding her eyes from the shame that waited above. She did not know when she would have the courage to raise her head again.

BAM.

Jack immediately straightened up, her hand instinctively reaching for her wand. Instead of an intruder, however, was a short, red-headed girl with the sassiest expression ever yet seen on the face of any Dyllan.

"Sunny," Jack said breathless, not certain what she wanted to say.

"Sh," Sunny said, looking between her aunt and her best friend. "I'm only six but I'm tired of being the smartest one here. You both are dummies. Dumb-dumb-dummies. Max came here because I told him too. I'm scared. Aunt Jack has been drinking, and she says she's happy, but I saw her burning that box we found in her office - the one with all the pictures. Of the Nemo guy, and the Mel girl, and the Andrew boy, the Chase girl, all those ones. I saw you, Jack. And you keep acting happy, but you've only slept one night, and you sobbed the whole time. And Max... I know you don't like staying in the house alone. I don't think you should be alone. And what happens when I grow up and go to Hogwarts - as I fully intend to? Then you have to take care of him Aunt Jack. And you have to make sure she doesn't cry in her sleep anymore, Max. You guys need to stop being such dummies and take care of each other so I can stop taking care of you guys. We're a family - let's try to be a somewhat normal one, please?"

Jack stared at the six-year-old, eyes watering, dumbfounded. She looked up at Max, finding she now had nothing to say. Sunny seemed to see this and said, "Aunt Jack... Use your words." Jack looked to her niece, her face riddled with worry. Sunny sighed and nodded. "Say it."

Jack looked back at Max, her eyes gleaming and her lips trembling. She glanced down and one single drop fell from her eye and landed on her shoe. She looked up and met Max's gaze. "I need your help. I... I want you to help me."

Sunny's little lips twitched ever so slightly, but she wasn't done here. Not by a long shot. She turned, her hands on her hips as her gaze fell on Max. She could not help but soften a bit - he wasn't as tough as Jack sometimes - before she instructed him as well. "Your turn, Maxxie."

The door slammed and Max jumped, startled out of his voiceless stare to turn and look at the intruder. For a moment he was relieved that this awkward scene had been interrupted but as soon as he registered Sunny's determined expression those hopes for being saved vanished into thin air. Max glanced over at Jack, but was unable to catch her eyes as she was busy staring at her niece with as much surprise as he had been.

Sunny began her speech and Max realized his jaw had been slowly dropping again. Never before had he been called a Dummie so many times before in a single sentence and in this situation it felt much more profound than he would normally have considered. He felt his gaze repeatedly flicker over to Jack as Sunny listed off the concerns she had. Of course he knew something was wrong but Max still felt a slight shock that things were this wrong with the singing girl he had just found.

"I need your help. I... I want you to help me."

That terrible tone of nonchalance was gone and Max held her eyes, finally finding that depth that had been missing. Though her voice seemed to quiver ever so slightly, Max felt a rushing sense of relief that accompanied his pity. Sunny addressed him almost immediately afterward and Max swallowed, unsure of what she was requesting he say. There were so many things that Jack needed to know and none of them would be easy.

"I don't know how." he blurted out, upset at words that so often abandoned him. Shaking his head, he tried to start over. "I don't know but I'm trying to learn. I want to help but you need to let me. I'm not strong enough alone."