I didn't mean to hurt you

Chase whimpered softly. She had managed to fall into a fitful sleep, and lay sprawled out on the couch. Her white shirt was drenched in blood, old and new wounds crossed her face and body. One eyes was completely swollen shut, and had a scar on it that resembled the one that Scar from the Lion King had. Chase whimpered and rolled over, only to wake up and hiss in pain. She had managed to rub her wound wrong. Jack appeared to have left, and it was pretty dark, but Chase didn't know where Calvin was. "Calvin..." Chase whimpered, sitting up gingerly. "Calvin..." She said again, louder, her throat cracking with the effort of speech. For the past few days, she had done no talking, only screaming, and her voice was raspy and broken almost as bad as her body was. Her fingers were broken in multiple places, and large, deep wounds crossed her stomach and chest area, all along her arms and legs, and even on her feet. One toe was actually completely missing it's nail, and several of her fingers had the same problem.

"Calvin..." She whispered again, and then struggled to sit up, unable to take her shirt anymore, she pulled it up gingerly and then pulled it over her head, laying back on the couch, her wounds now open to the air. Sitting in only her bra and some short shorts, which were also covered in blood, she felt a lot better, now that her wounds weren't being pressed upon by her dirty shirt. The cloak she had been given lay abandoned on the floor by the door, and Chase was whimpering as she slowly moved herself into a sitting position. One of her wounds had a hastily wrapped bandage around it, but it wasn't fully healed, and she was hissing in pain. She gingerly removed the bandaging, and felt hot warm blood seep from the wound. Some of her wounds appeared to have been healed over, using spells, and had scarred horribly, and her face was covered with what looked like scars made from razor blades.

Chase's once, long, flowing, beautiful red hair was now chopped short and ragged, a few long pieces hung about her face, like her hair had been back in a ponytail when it was roughly chopped off with a knife. Chase whimpered again, and looked around the room, reaching out for Calvin's hand.. her eyes nearly closed, and sweat beading on her forehead.

The five hours that it’d taken Calvin to stop the flow of blood from Chase’s wounds, and to bandage the more severe injuries, had become nothing but a blur of blood and screams in Calvin’s memory. Healing the infections that had begun to spread throughout several of Chase’s wounds had taken a level of persistence that had only ever been required of Calvin during his time at St. Mungo’s as a healer, and healing the wounds themselves was proving to be a far more difficult task. There hadn’t been time for Calvin to react to the sight of a destroyed Chase Moor when she and Jack had suddenly appeared in the middle of his living room; immediately he’d jumped from the sofa and begun working. It was quite astonishing, the way that Calvin could so suddenly become the adult that he needed to be in such situations. It was almost as though he’d hidden that serous side of himself away from the world, and only chose to let it free when necessary.

Five hours and counting Calvin had remained at Chase’s side, kneeling beside the sofa as he quickly dabbed at bloody patches of skin, fought of infections, re-grew fingernails, and mended bones…

Five hours without breathing.

A pile of bloodied rags had formed just a few inches from Calvin, a pile which he added on to as he quickly removed yet another washcloth from one of Chase’s wounds in order to examine the injury. It had begun to scar, but the skin had patched itself due to the healing touch of Calvin’s fingertips. One by one, he healed the deep slashes, and he silently cried to himself, whispering words of comfort to Chase in hopes that she could still hear him.

Calvin’s shoulders sunk for a moment as he watched the sleeping figure before him, listening to Chase’s shallow breathing; he had to remember as he worked that it was most important for him to make certain her breathing remained the same. He could examine her internal injuries with a single touch of his palm to her skin, but he felt that he could never be too careful; if there was a small enough nick in one of her lungs, he wouldn’t be able to see it, and she would eventually d– Calvin shook his head in an attempt to rid such dark thoughts from his mind.

He would save Chase; he’d told her so far more times than he could count that evening, and promises were so very important to Calvin. Chase was important… he simply couldn’t lose her. He couldn’t... He wouldn’t.

Calvin leaned backwards slightly to rest his spine against the near coffee table – which he’d piled high with healing herbs and potions – and inhaled quickly; he needed to start up again, but he was having difficult remaining calm and steady as he looked at his dying friend. His fingers had started to shake, and that was something that often lead to fatal injuries when healing. He needed to regain his focus; he was beginning to think of negative outcomes, and it was messing with his ability to prevent said negative thoughts from become a reality.

With determination, Calvin turned sharply, grabbed hold of a bottle of a freshly-brewed numbing potion- but not without knocking over another bottle on the table, which shattered loudly in the silence upon hitting the ground – and returned his attention the Chase. Very suddenly, however, Calvin stopped what he was doing; Chase was coming to, and had started to call for him. “Chase…” Calvin replied; it overwhelmed him with joy to hear his friend’s voice in the form of anything other than a pained scream. That scream would haunt Calvin for the rest of his life, he was sure of it as it echoed in his ears like a blow-horn. “Chase, I’m right here,” he spoke again, but his voice revealed the fact that he was crying, and therefore, did not have the desired effect.

Chase peeled her shirt from her skin, and Calvin couldn’t help but feel the need to look away – but she’d begun to pull at the bandage that he’d only just applied to her deepest wound, and so he did not get the chance. He felt as though he was disrespecting Chase by seeing her in such a state, but Calvin really didn’t have a choice. “Wait! Don’t touch that!” he corrected her and took hold of her hands gently, making certain not to brush his fingers against any of the bruises that decorated her wrists. “Careful…” he warned her, but she’d managed to tear quite a bit of the bandage away from her injury before he’d been able to stop her, and the healing wound had started to bleed once more.

Calvin winced; the healing process was going to be far more painful for Chase now that she was awake again. He slowly released the girl’s hands from his own, and moved them to her face, his every touch as cautious as could be, “I’m sorry; I just couldn’t get the taste to go to bubblegum…” he told her before bringing the vial of numbing potion to Chase’s lips. “Easy…”

He returned the bottle to the table and quickly grabbed hold of another rag. “I am sorry, Chase. I am so, so sorry,” he told her, but he only made it clear what he was apologizing for when he pressed the damp towel to Chase’s stomach, “but I have to or it will get infected,” he explained.

Calvin quickly brought his free hand to his own face, ridding his cheek of a few stray tears.

Calvin.. he spoke to her, and she could hear him... it was different though.. there was something else in his voice Chase had never heard before... Chase looked at him and her eyes went wide. "Calvin.." She whispered, feeling him dab at the wounds, and she hissed sharply, feeling pain flood through her system. She had been on the streets for two days.. so most of the wounds had probably become infected, most of the wounds were painful, and her whole body was aching. "Calvin...I.." She whimpered, and then felt him starting to reapply bandages, and helped to get a nasty tasting potion down her throat that tasted just slightly of bubblegum. Chase whimpered and let her head fall back, pain distorting her face as she reached for Calvin's hand, her breath coming in sharp gasps. It hurt so badly.. but it felt a bit better then before, when her shirt had covered the skin that was rough and aching.

Chase whimpered softly, and her eyes fluttered open, looking around the room. There were potions galore on the table behind Calvin, and not just one broken bottle as well, a pile of bloody rags lay next to him, and Chase could see tears on his face. "No.. No Calvin.. you can't cry.. no.." Chase whimpered, and felt another surge of pain pass through her, and she had to bit onto her lip to keep from screaming, but she only succeeded in making an odd strangled noise, and blood welled up on her lip. "Calvin.. I'm so sorry, I'm such an idiot... I shouldn't have left.. I shouldn't have left you.." She whispered and her hand found his again, holding onto it with all her might, which wasn't very much at the moment. "Can you forgive me?" She whispered, her eyes searching his face. She moved so that he had to look at her, instead of at her wounds, which were mostly covered up by now. "Please... I hate myself for leaving you.. and then coming back to you.. like this." She said and whimpered, reaching forward to wipe away the tears on his face, tears streaking her own as she did.

Hissing in pain, Chase was forced to lay back down on the couch, and her back arched, pain shuddering her body all at once, it came in waves, she discovered, and it could be nearly painless one minute, and then it rocked her body the next. "Please don't hate me.." She whimpered, and her eyes shut tightly, another slam of pain crashing through her as she let out a mangled scream, her hand gripping his weakly. She was drenched in sweat from convulsions, and that wasn't helping the stinging in the wounds that were still open. The damp cloth hurt badly, but it was nothing compared to the searing pain that crossed her body, her breathing coming in shallow gasps, she faded in and our of consciousness quickly before she finally woke up fully, and lay panting. "Calvin.. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry." She whispered over and over again in her fevered state. Luckily she was sweating so much it was bringing her fever down, but it would spike horribly every now and then. She whimpered and lay limply on the couch, her hand letting go of his, and slowly going to his face, wiping away the tears, tears leaking down her own. "I shouldn't have left.. I'm sorry.." She said again, and lay back, her body limp and the pain dulling to a painful throb everywhere at once, every now and then she would shudder from pain, but the biggest convulsions seemed to have passed.

Immediately, Chase began to apologize for leaving, and Calvin felt as though his heart had been torn into several, smaller pieces; his tears had caused her to apologize for something that had been out of her control, and he so desperately wished that it hadn’t been so. Perhaps if he’d gained control of himself before he’d replied… maybe then he could have prevented her from crying along with him, but his sorrow had gotten a bit out of hand…

Calvin’s hands left Chase’s wound and met with her cheeks once more, “Chase – no – don’t,” he began, but his words did not seem to leave his mouth the way he’d intended. He so desperately wished to make up for having inflicted more harm upon Chase, but it seemed that he could not get the correct words out of his mouth. “It isn’t your fault. I’m just so sorry that I wasn’t… that I wasn’t there to stop this.” Calvin removed his hands from Chase’s face, dropping them at his side once more, “I could have been the one who…” he continued, his voice nasally due to his suddenly stubborn sinuses.

Suddenly, it became very evident that Calvin’s tears had been a result of not just worry, and pity, but of guilt as well; Calvin Secundus Ransom felt personally responsible for what had happened to Chase Moor. Something could have been done differently; Calvin was certain that he could have figured out some way to keep Chase safe. He’d failed Chase… again.

“I promised to protect you…”

Calvin slowly ran his fingers along the edges of the gash that Chase had reopened and closed his eyes, concentrating on repairing the broken skin with every brain cell possible; they would speak with each other once more when Calvin was certain that Chase was OK, but for the time being, he had to make certain that he was doing everything he could to fix her.

She screamed once more, and Calvin could not withhold the whimper that had been threatening to escape from his lips for so very long; he could not stand the sound. The sweetest laughter that Calvin had ever heard had once drifted from Chase’s bright, pink lips…so how could it be that she could scream in such a horrifying way? “Shhhh,” Calvin comforted her, drawing his face near her ear so to make his words that much softer, “I’m going to fix you. You are going to be OK, Chase. You are going to be OK. Oh, Chase. Chase, I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

Together, Chase and Calvin had created the saddest mixture of tears and apologies imaginable. These two, particular human beings were not meant to be in so much pain, and so, as they cried with each other on that dark evening, their sobs could have broken the heart of even the cruelest of creatures.

"I will never, ever, ever hate you, Chase," Calvin reassured her honestly, sniffling as quietly as he could.

Chase moved her face so that she could push her cheek into his hand gently. "Don't..." Chase whimpered, shaking her head and hissing in pain. "Don't blame yourself Calvin.." She said softly, tears leaking down her cheeks and meeting with his hands. "You did Calvin.. you did protect me.." She whispered, shaking her head. "You protected me better then anyone has ever in my entire life." She said softly, sobs threatening to break free. "I've never been so happy... and I'm so happy... just to be... near you." Chase said, between gasps of pain, and she could feel his fingers running along the edges of her wound, and could feel his lips up against her ear, whispering kind words, and nice things to her, saying she would be okay. It was a dark night, and Chase was pretty sure at some point it must have started to rain, and all that existed in the world was Chase and Calvin. Calvin doing whatever he could to save Chase, and Chase whimpering in pain, her body shuddering, her face wet with tears.

Chase dozed on and off for a long time, her hand never leaving Calvin's, her face slowly became more peaceful as the night wore on, and slowly the wounds started to heal and scar, healing under his gentle hand, healing in ways no other healer could have done, simply because he was Calvin. Chase was dozing around two o'clock, when the nightmares hit. The pain had blotted them out for the most part of her dozing, but now that the pain was lessening, her mind started to react in ways harsher then any wounds. She cried in her sleep, crying and begging for mercy, to be awoke by her own screams again. The first nightmare, Chase awoke screaming, thrashing around, and the second her eyes opened, pain hit her hard in the stomach. She had to lay still for a long time, and find Calvin's hand again so as to reassure herself that she wasn't in Barker's clutches.

She sobbed after she awoke from those nightmares, and forced herself to stay awake, longer and longer, but her exhaustion kept forcing her to sleep again, only to be awoken by the nightmares. "Calvin... make them go away! Please.." She whispered. She was awake and sitting up finally, and she had curled herself up against Calvin's chest, clutching his shirt, listening to his heartbeat. She didn't know how she had gotten into this position, but she did know her wounds had stopped bleeding freely. She was still in pain, but the numbing potions had made it a lot less then it would have been otherwise. "Calvin.. it hurts.. my head so much... it's like he's throwing that curse at me.. and hurting me.. every time I close my eyes.." She whispered, clutching his chest, still without a shirt, but they had long since gotten over that fact. Chase whimpered and curled up tighter against him.

Calvin was not sure when he’d fallen asleep, but it became apparent that he had at one point during his attempt to heal Chase’s wounds when he woke with a start to the sound of screaming. Immediately, Calvin’s heart began to beat at an unnatural pace beneath the skin of his chest and the bloodied t-shirt that he was wearing. It was Chase, Calvin realized; Chase had begun screaming once more, though he could not seem to determine which wound was causing her to do so by the simple act of an internal reading. In fact, her injuries were healing decently, and none seemed to be responsible for her pain. With an expression of sincere concern, Calvin listened to Chase’s delirious words, and came to the painful realization that she was trapped in a nightmare.

For a moment, Calvin fought with himself; he was not sure whether it would be best for Chase if he woke her from her dreadful dreams, or if he allowed her to continue to sleep. If he woke her, the pain of her injuries would overwhelm her once more – but at the same time, Calvin knew what it was like to have nightmares, and how desperately he wished that someone would wake him from his nightmares whenever he had them. Though, Calvin’s nightmares included fictional villains, such as the Joker, rather than murderous Death Eaters…

The decision, however, was made for him when Chase awoke without his assistance. She began to beg Calvin to end the pain within her head, and the fog that had clouded Calvin’s tired mind due to sleep was immediately cleared; he was now a man on a mission. He quickly brought the palm of his right hand to Chase’s forehead in the same way that a muggle doctor would take his patient’s temperature, and began to search through the many layers of Chase’s brain for any medical injuries. It was a pity that Calvin was incapable of healing Chase of the physiological torment that she was experience, but Calvin hadn’t gotten that far at St. Mungo’s, and therefore, he could do nothing more than heal her of her physical injuries and hope that a potion could relieve her of her nightmares.

Calvin smiled sadly at Chase and gently rubbed her head with his thumb as he searched her brain for damage; he’d found no concussion, and no internal bleeding. He turned from her for a moment and reached for a dark colored vial on the coffee table, before apologizing once more, “I’m sorry Chase,” he began slowly, “but I don’t know how to heal that sort of hurting…” How was it, Calvin began to wonder suddenly, that he’d gone to St. Mungo’s with an interest in the human brain, but had left before he’d learned anything about psychological healing? He frowned inwardly, but dared not allow Chase to see the disappointment that he was feeling towards himself. “I can give you a sleeping draught, though,” he offered, hoping that Chase would accept the opportunity to rest; sleep was the key to healing. “You wont dream until the potion starts to wear off…” Calvin added, so to make it clear that she would not fall into a torturous comma upon taking the potion.

Calvin cast her a loving look, "Please, Chase. You need to sleep."

Chase whimpered when he gently lay his hand on her forehead. She closed her eyes and leaned into his hand, feeling the hot surface of her forehead, meet the slightly cooler surface of his palm, and she kept her eyes closed, in front of him on the couch, she tried to relax herself, but the pain.. the memories.. the nightmares... it was horrifying.. having to relive that in her dreams, when she had already gone through it once.. they never spoke about that in books.. in the books.. people were tortured and would kill people.. but.. they never discussed the feeling of being trapped within the same experience, over and over again, as you relived the pain, the horror... it was tormenting.

Chase looked at Calvin as his hand moved from her forehead, and she felt a soft whimper escape her lips. He couldn't stop it? She stared at him and sighed, knowing that he wanted her to sleep, and knowing that was the last thing she wanted to do. Chase shook her head stubbornly. "I don't want to sleep.. no... he'll come back.." She said and pulled her knees to her chest. Somehow it was like the roles had been reversed. Calvin, who was normally childish and innocent, was now the one who was looking after Chase.. who was usually the adult, who handled the band-aids.. and the loving care, but it was completely opposite now.

Calvin was the adult, fixing Chase's boo boo (Though hers was much bigger then the ones he usually got) And Chase was the child.. in need of help.. refusing to sleep because of the nightmares that would plague her. "Please don't make me sleep Calvin." She begged him, tears sliding down her cheeks. Her hands grasping his arm, her fingers interlaced within his without even thinking about it. "Please... it hurts so much.. it's like he's there... like he's watching him.. laughing at me all the time.. he won't go away!" She said and covered her head with her free hand, hunched over, tears sliding down her face. A bandage was wrapped tightly around her middle, and she could still feel pain coming from that large deep gash there. "Can't we just.. watch a movie for a bit? Or.. or.. play a game.. we could play go fish.." She said perking up slightly, her eyes wide, well, the eye that was working correctly. Her right eye was still out of sorts, and didn't seem to be moving properly, even though she could see fine out of it. The actual pupil didn't align with he eye anymore, and gave her the look of looking in a different direction with that eye. It also had a large scar that ran from her eyebrow down to her cheekbone, that crossed over that eye. She looked at Calvin pleadingly. "If we watch a movie.. maybe I'll fall asleep.." She said hopefully. "If.. if we do.. I'll take the potion so I can sleep.. but not until later.." She said looking at Calvin, trying to get him to agree.

She felt like a child wanting to stay up later for bedtime. Except that this time, she was in serious pain, and she didn't want to sleep because of her nightmares.. but as it was.. she just wanted to curl up next to the comforting feel of Calvin, who right now was her hero, her knight in shining armor, her friend. He had saved her.. and she could never repay him.. ever. Chase's eyes grew wide as she stared at him, and then she smiled and moved closer. "Thank you Calvin.." She said suddenly, holding onto his arms, linking her fingers tighter into his. "It doesn't hurt as bad.. and.. and... I'll take the potion if we put in a movie.. I"ll even take it at the beginning.. I'm tired... but I don't want to sleep... and and.. you won't leave will you? You'll be here when I wake up right?" She asked, her eyes wide, looking at him fearfully, staring at the face of the man who was older then her, but often acted younger, the man who she owed her life, and her child's life, and everything to. The man who she was slowly starting to feel different about, and she didn't know how to handle it, because she knew that when she started to feel this.. the person ended up hurt.. and she would never be able to live with herself if she hurt Calvin again.. ever.. so she couldn't feel that way.. because if she did... if she loved him... he'd end up hurt, and it would be all her fault.. all her fault, and she would rather die then see Calvin hurt again. Rather die then to see him cry again. "you'll be there when I wake up..." She said softly, more a statement then a question, as she leaned against his arm, exhaustion taking over her, and she curled up, fingers still interlaced with his, leaning against his arm she fell asleep almost immediately, a peaceful look on her face, as her breathing evened, and she slept without dreams for a while.

For a short moment, a genuine smile graced Calvin’s face; despite all of the blood, the tears, and the pain, Chase wanted to play Go Fish. The idea of playing the game during such a chaotic evening created a warm feeling of hope within Calvin; though Chase’s body had crumbled, she was still there inside….

But Calvin’s concern for Chase was far more powerful than his desire to relax for a moment with his beloved friend and play a lighthearted game of cards; Calvin refused to take part in anything that could cause Chase’s current condition to worsen. If Chase did not allow her body to rest, Calvin was not sure that the work that he’d done on her injuries would hold out for too much longer, and he wasn’t certain that he had enough strength in him to heal every one of the girl’s wounds for a second time. “I can’t let you stay awake, Chase; it will hurt you…” he attempted to explain, but she continued to plead, and it was becoming increasingly difficult for Calvin to play the roll of the adult. By healing her physical wounds, it seemed that Calvin was only making Chase’s physiological wounds worse, and he could not bear it.

“Shhhh,” Calvin whispered comfortingly when she began to sob once more, and rather suddenly, there was no lasting hope of him holding on to that ‘better judgment’ of his; while wearing a determined expression, Calvin turned away from Chase for a moment and reached towards the near-by box of card games, which was lying on the floor not too far from the table that he’d pushed it off of in order to make more room. “We’ll play Go Fish, Chase,” he told her as he pulled the cardboard box open, something which proved to be quite difficult, due to the fact that his fingers continued to tremble, “but no letting me win this time,” he added with a small grin as he referred to a brighter day in their history.

If only Calvin could turn back the clock... He would make things better; he would prevent anything bad from ever happening to Chase. Even if that would mean that the pair had never crossed paths...

Chase took hold of Calvin’s hand, and immediately the box fell from his hands; it seemed that, no matter the situation, her touch would always have the same effect on Calvin. He could never seem to maintain any sort of strength when he found Chase fingers intertwined perfectly with his own… How many times had Calvin reacted in such a way to her gentle fingertips when she’s reached for his hand in her sleep? Calvin could not remember exactly, but that didn’t seem to matter to his suddenly bright red cheeks, or his increasing heart rate.

“You won't leave will you? You'll be here when I wake up right? Chase asked – and the second the question left her lips, Calvin replied in a hasty manner, as though he was afraid that she would fall asleep before he’d answered her; he could feel her exhaustion in her bones as he held her hand dutifully, “I will, Chase. I promise. I’ll stay right here,” he assured her, and just as Calvin had predicted, Chase drifted off immediately.

Calvin breathed slowly, refueling his deprived lungs; he could not remember the last time he’d inhaled properly during his fight for Chase’s life, but the relaxed expression that graced the female’s face upon falling asleep was all that Calvin needed in order to feel as though he was allowed to breathe again. “Good night, Chase,” he whispered while simultaneously moving a few strands of her knotted, red hair from her face. “I won’t leave…” he repeated quietly, and, looking as though his thoughts were tearing him in two different directions, Calvin leaned towards Chase’s forehead cautiously to plant a gentle kiss there – but he suddenly jerked backwards when he’d moved close enough to do so, as though his more timid side had won the fight. Instead, he smiled at her gently and took his place on the floor beside the sofa once more.

“Sweet dreams, Chase,” he spoke to his sleeping friend once more, as though he believed that she could truly hear him. “Sleep well.”

Chase heard through her fog, Calvin saying goodnight, and her fingers tightened slightly on his own, reassuring herself that he was still there. Chase slept without dreams for a while, able to fight them off, maybe it was the fact that she knew Calvin was there this time, or that somehow she could feel his hand in hers during her fight in her sleep. For even though she was peaceful, her body had entered into a war of it's own. Fighting the wounds, healing her up, her breathing would come in ragged gasps one minute, and then even out and be perfectly fine the next. She got a fever sometime in the middle of the night, and was shivering hard, curled up in a ball, her hand never leaving Calvin's, but as the first rays of light showed on the horizon, Chase's body calmed down, her fever broke, leaving her coated in sweat, her wounds had healed enough to simply scar, and she lay, fingers caught in Calvin's still, her lips inches from his hand, hot breath escaping across it's surface.

Slowly, as the sun rose, Chase's eyes fluttered open. She whimpered as she woke, and her hand flailed around her. "Calvin... Calvin.." She muttered, scared for a moment. His hand wasn't in hers... where was his hand? Chase sat up, frantically, her short hair wild and damp with sweat. "Calvin.." She whimpered, and her hand flailed around, hoping to find his hand, her eyes clouded over with sleep, and sight gone to her right eye completely. "Calvin.. where are you?" She whimpered, curling up on the couch, hoping he was there, she was scared stiff, and she pulled her knees to her chest, trying to blink the sleep out of her eyes, her hand laying on the couch next to her, as though it had been forgotten.

After an hour of laying awake on the cold, carpeted floor, Calvin came to the conclusion that he had gotten enough sleep when he’d drifted off earlier that evening, and that he was not going to have any similar luck until his worried thoughts of Chase Moor had quieted. Despite the fact that Chase’s wounds seemed to be healing just as they should have, her whimpers and cries throughout the night were far too torturous for Calvin to fall to sleep to, and so, after lying stick-still with his eyes squeezed shut for what had seemed like an eternity to him, he’d decided that there was far too much to be done to help Chase for him to remain there, pretending to sleep until sunrise. So Calvin stood, releasing Chase’s hand for the first time since she’d lost consciousness, and made his way towards the kitchen sink with a clean rag in his hand.

Rather than skipping towards the kitchen in his usual manner, however, Calvin found that he was incapable of mustering any more energy than was necessary for him to drag himself towards the facet, run the water, lather the cloth in soap, and return to Chase’s side. Calvin was in no way an experienced healer; he’d only spent a few years at the hospital before he’d quit his job because of the tragic death of one of his youngest patients. He had not yet mastered the art of healing, and therefore, the act of bringing Chase Moor ‘back to life’ had required so much of Calvin’s own life-force that it was a wonder he was even capable of standing up straight… and Calvin’s sudden case of insomnia only added on to the physical exhaustion that had overwhelmed him. His thoughts were not of himself, however; as Calvin took the soapy washcloth in both of his hands and gave it a twist, forcing the warm water that it’d absorbed to drip onto Chase’s blood-stained skin, he winced to himself, hoping that the water would not wake Chase from her slumber. Cautious not to disturb her, Calvin ran the washcloth over her fair shoulders, which he’d rid completely of all injuries that’d once been there, and began to wash that horrible, crimson color from her skin.

Calvin moved to Chase’s face, but it was then when his fingers began to tremble once more; her beautiful face was scared in so many placed, and Calvin was having a great deal of trouble healing them. Her eye was still incredibly swollen, and it was this injury that worried him most when it came to the facial injuries that she’d received; Calvin had only ever worked with eyes once before, and that patient hadn’t fully recovered his sight in that eye… Calvin ran the cloth over Chase’s eyelid as gently as possible, trialing the index finger of his free hand along behind the cloth so to heal her at the same time – but he had to stop after a few minutes of doing this, for his own breathing had become labored due to all of the pressure that he was putting his body under.

He paused for a moment, counting the beats of his heart so to make certain that he hadn’t gone too far… He wanted more than anything to continue on until Chase awoke, healing her every injury, but he found that his heart was growing far too weak, and knew that Chase would not be able to live with herself if Calvin accidently hurt himself while healing her. Feeling slightly frustrated with himself, Calvin stood, and made his way towards the restroom. He was in desperate need of a shower and a change of clothes; the strong smell of Chase’s blood had soaked into the skin of Calvin’s arms, and it was beginning to make him feel ill.

Upon entering the restroom, Calvin pulled the door shut behind him – but made sure to connect the door with its frame as quietly as possible so not to wake Chase – and made his way to sink. A small mirror hung above the sink, one that reflected Calvin’s image for him to see and be slightly frightened by; dry tears clung to the skin of his freckled cheaks, and Chase’s blood had been smeared across his face when Chase had attempted to whip said tears away. His smile was broken in a way that Calvin could never remember it being before, and within his eyes was a form of exhaustion that looked fatal. Calvin turned the faucet on and filled his stained palms with water; he did not want Chase to worry about him, and so, he felt it necessary to rid himself of anything that might suggest that he’d overworked himself. Chase was the one who had nearly died, and therefore, concern for anyone other than Chase at that moment would be concern wasted. Calvin brought his palms to his face, splashing water across his skin.

He’d made a grab for the soap when he’d heard a distant call from the living room, which sent his thoughts into hyper drive; Chase was awake, and he was not there for her, as he’d promised he would be.

With water dripping from his face, Calvin pulled the bathroom door open hastily, and made a mad dash for the sofa. He had to explain; he simply had to explain to Chase that he’d only left her side for a second…

Just for a second. He’d left Chase’s side for a second – a second which could have gone horribly, horribly wrong! Something could have happened to her during that second when he’d left her for something as unimportant as cleaning himself off, and suddenly, Calvin felt as though he’d made the worst mistake imaginable. Using up the last of his energy, Calvin made his way around the couch, and quickly knelt before Chase, “I’m here, Chase! I am so sorry; I didn’t mean to…” he began, gasping for breath. “I’m so sorry.”

How many times had Calvin apologized to Chase that evening?