Warning: For mature audiences only.
*A red curtain is quickly drawn back, revealing a large red sofa. Two people sit on the sofa, one a small, young blonde boy in a casual suit. The other is an older woman, also blonde, who wears a stylish black dress. A tattoo can be seen on her left arm. They both smile and wave to the camera*
KEITH: Hey folks. I'm Keith.
SANDRA: And I'm Sandra. And this is-
BOTH: SHIPPER ON DECK!
*A brief montage of pictures play, mostly Keith and Sandra laughing. In the final picture, Keith lounges on top of a giant heart with an arrow through it while Sandra finishes Spray painting the words Shipper on Deck in the middle. The both pose and smile towards the camera. *
KEITH: Hello folks! What's happening?
SANDRA: In true We at Shipper on Deck have been researching bastardized latin!
KEITH: What's that you may ask?
SANDRA: Bastardized latin is the official language of Harry Potter! It's where people who have no idea how to speak latin stick a ton of poorly researched phrases together and make a magic spell!
KEITH: But we haven't been making random spells now have we Sandra?
SANDRA: Absolutely we haven't! We've been working on something much more important.
KEITH: Can anyone out there tell me what Daemnphilia is?
SANDRA: Go on, google it. We'll cut to commercial.
*Screen fades to black*
MAN: Breaking Dawn-
*Screen fades back in*
KEITH: Uh, never mind.
SANDRA: We don't want that crap here.
*Crowd cheers*
KEITH: HAve you guys googled it? Who knows what it means?
*Several people raise their hands*
KEITH: LIARS!
SANDRA: What Keith means is that none of you have any idea what we're talking about, because we made the phrase up.
KEITH: Don't feel so smart now, do you?
SANDRA: What we intended it to mean was a love of Demons.
KEITH: Because that's what we're talking about today.
SANDRA: You might say: But guuuuuuuys, there are no Demons on the site...anymore.
KEITH: I thought we decided never to discuss that plot.
SANDRA: It needed to be said.
KEITH: It really didn't. Ever.
SANDRA: While I admit that the demon plot was probably not the best idea...
KEITH: I still cry myself to sleep at night, thinking about that plot.
SANDRA: *sighs* point taken. Anyways, we're not talking about that.
KEITH: Tell us....friends, what's the first sign a person is a demon?
SANDRA: Their evil red eyes.
KEITH: True. What kind of twisted, deluded person would fall in love with a demon, you might ask?
SANDRA: Could that person be....Prison Lycon? *A picture of Devon Sawa flashes onto the screen*
*Audiences gasps and recoils*
KEITH: Yes! Fear! Fear the most horrifying ship in the entirety of PA! A boy dating....a DEMON!
*A picture of Sally Ruby flashes onto the screen. Someone in the audience faints*
SANDRA: We know these images be disturbing, but that's why we don't allow small children on the set.
RANDOM WOMAN: My baby!
KEITH: Well, shit.
SANDRA: Can you spell multi-million dollar lawsuit?
KEITH: Eh, so what. I was about to get fired anyway. Let's get back to the ship.
SANDRA: As you may have already guessed, today's ship is PrisonxSally, or Prally.
KEITH: Sally is a sociopathic death eater to be...who also happens to be a Demon.
*Screen fades to black, where large white letters appear*
DISCLAIMER (For our less intelligent viewers): Sally Ruby is not actually a demon, daemon, devil, gremlin, fiend, imp, hellion, or goblin. Or any of their spawn.
*Screen fades back in*
SANDRA: Prison is a bullied, abandoned, sissie woman child craving a little love and attention.
KEITH: I think we know who wears the pants in this relationship, eh? Eh?
SANDRA: Quite.
KEITH: Okely dokely...let's get's down to buisness, shall we?
SANDRA: Let's get down to buisness....to defeat....the huns.
KEITH: Did they send me daughters...when I asked...for sons?
SANDRA: You're the saddest lot I've ever met. But I bet...before we're through
KEITH: Somehow I'll...make a man...
BOTH: OUT OF YOUUUUUUUU
SANDRA: Uh.
KEITH: Heh. Heh. Back on topic then.
SANDRA: Prison and Sally met at the lake, where the demon loving Prison immediately loved Sally's red eyes.
KEITH: Because people with red eyes aren't creepy at all.
SANDRA: Yes, this is where we begin to realize that Prison isn't exactly right in his head...
KEITH: I mean, I'm no psychologist, but this guy is seriously tripping.
SANDRA: But enough with theorizing. Sally is an actual sociopath!
KEITH: No joke kiddos. Sally comes from a long line of Death Eaters, and her only goal in life is to murder the Auror who killed her mother.
SANDRA: *dabs her eyes* I'm so proud....
KEITH: Yeah, she's an evil little bastard all right. Anyway, Prison is soooo in love with her that he's perfectly willing to become a Death Eater with her. Not only that, he's going to run off to kill the auror with her!
SANDRA: I do so love a happy ending.
KEITH: Yeah, they both need some serious therapy.
SANDRA: Alas, you're probably right. Meh, whatever. They have my support.
KEITH: O RLY
SANDRA: Yes? Yes, they do. What's with the O rly?
KEITH: *smiles evilly* Oh...nuuuuuuthin.
SANDRA: *Eyes widen* Oh no.....
KEITH: *Laughs* Oh yes Sandra! Oh yes! PRISON AND SALLY ARE ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED!
SADRA: There is no god....
KEITH: We'll let Sandra deal with her newfound emotional trauma on her own. Be sure to stay tuned for our letters section!
*Screen fades to black, commercials play. Screen fades back in, revealing only Keith*
KEITH: For those of you not in the studio audience, Sandra was forcibly taken away to cope with the realization that yet another young couple has entered premature engagement. Leaving only me for the letters section. As some of you may know, SoD occasionally hosts letter sections, so our viewers can complain about how awful we are. Let's check reaction to our last episode, shall we? I believe we covered the ungodly Jato ship. Here's one from a Mr. Eli K...
She has seen it and she loves it. xD
I'm not that delusional ... just...... I'm patient.
Another brilliant episode! I can't wait to see more!
KEITH: Hate to break it to you Mr. K, but you are, in fact, delusional. And probably seriously mentally ill. Get that checked. You can meet up with Sally and Prison while you're there. Here's one from Caelani B....
KANDRA?
That episode was wrong on so many levels.
KEITH: I kind of love you right now. Call me. Moving on, we have a letter from Chastity M...
For some reason I feel like I was forgotten somewhere in this O_O Mostly cause Chase is with Eli.. and it was Chase's mom Vito raped.. not Jacks XDDD I feel like for such a big shipper on deck that has to deal with Chase in it SOMEWHERE.... well... I was kinda forgotten v.v oh well XD Great Episode!
KEITH: Well, we apologize for the mistake. Everyone hear that? Vito raped Chase's mom, not Jacks...not that this excuses anything. And for the record, Chase, I'm going to hunt you down and murder you. And then Amelia and Eli can finally be together....
*Screen fades to black*
by Vito Dee Symons Wed Oct 27, 2010 1:10 pm
