“I used to think maybe you loved me”

Sophie quirked her mouth to the side, blinking up at her aunt as she tried to process the truth and replace her worries with the fact that he was still somewhere and wasn't for sure gone forever. Not like daddy. If nothing else, she knew that she had a couple of people she could rely on. Uncle Keiran was always busy, always coming and going. But she felt pretty sure he would come back, if only because she didn't know her mum had made a huge mistake.

Obviously, her mum wasn't going anywhere. Sophie, again, didn't know her mum's background on that front. But Mum had never given Sophie reason to doubt, despite the fears the older blonde so clearly had. Clear, that is, to everyone except the child herself.

There were, however, a few new people now. Sophia wasn't sure, yet, about Elsie - apart from the fact that she was really pretty and dressed really nice. And she was fun enough. But she wasn't family, so Sophia didn't know if that made her a risk or not. Daddy had gone for good, but so had Teddy. So she was going to hold off on making any assumptions just yet. On the other hand, Nana Bishop seemed pretty darn determined to stick around.

And then there was Auntie Claire. Well. Sophie didn't think she liked 'auntie' as much as 'aunt,' but that was not the point. Claire and Mum weren't friends like Claire and Elsie. It kind of made the littlest blonde sad, actually. Would Claire stay if she and Mum had a fight? That sounded like what had happened with Teddy, though Mum wasn't super forthcoming about it. Finally, when she probably should have just decided to confirm the pizza decision, she said something else instead.

"You're staying, right? Not like them."

Claire was soooo beyond babysitting duties. Beyond that, this sort of talk was leagues beyond her skill set. But ever since she had recommitted to being a Bishop, a proper one, she had been thrust into this position of emotionally nurturing time and time again. Dealing with Robin's death, dealing with dad's, dealing with Teddy apparently breaking up with her sister. Who had come up with the idea of her being the emotional rock in the family? Shouldn't she know how to deal with her own before she was asked to deal with anyone else's?

She supposed it made sense from the outside. Only Fred seemed to look at her like he knew there was some monster of rage and sadness lurking beneath her serene exterior, and Elsie had a front row seat to the shit show that was Claire confronting feelings. But to everyone else, her emotional baggage was as trim and well kept as her tailored pant suits.

Claire smiled warmly and pulled the little girl into a great hug, another image most might not be able to conjure of Claire. She plopped a kiss on the girl's head and then looked at her. "I have nowhere to go, even if I wanted to. I don't think I could. Someone could pay me and I'd only go if I could take you and Mummy with me."

She straightened up and headed for the freezer, knowing full well there was a pizza in it. "Now, let's have some pizza and raw cookie dough, like grownups."

Her mouth fell into a thin line the second her back was turned, realizing there was no escaping the fact that she was going to need to confront her sister about this.

Avery was exhausted. She tried her best not to look horrible when she made her way next door to pick up Sophie, but it didn't help that the usual light behind her eyes was gone again, or that she ached from the training she was still sure she wasn't quite suited for. Merlin, if Keiran or Teddy could see her now...

No. None of that.

True, Avery had no idea what she was doing with her life. But on the other hand, she still had to provide for Sophie and try and find her place after feeling so, so lost in the only thing she'd ever known. And she didn't exactly have someone like Teddy, or like Keiran, anymore. They weren't around to tell her she was being ridiculous, so even though she knew it was true, a mixture of surprising pride and her fear of failure kept her on her current, bizarre path.

So, she returned to Claire and Elsie's, wishing she could be in bed but knowing she had a full evening ahead of her yet. If she'd known Sophie had crashed on Claire's couch, she probably would've been thoroughly jealous, but she knocked anyway, completely unaware of her sister's desire to have a talk with her. Someday, perhaps, she would learn not to make mistakes like she so often did, but protecting her daughter's feelings didn't seem like a mistake to her. Despite all of her expectations of the contrary, and her genuine belief that she would do a terrible job, someone had told her she was doing well. So it didn't actually occur to her that she might have been falling into one of her own (admittedly common) traps.

The rest of the night went as most of their nights went, peacefully and uneventfully. Junk food was made, cartoons were watched, pictures were drawn, and books were read before little Sophie's head drooped and her entire body fell limp across Claire's couch. Claire tucked blankets around her and lowered the cartoon volume to a near mute, before pulling out her paperwork and plopping on the floor next to the couch to do her work.

Time passed, as it did, and Claire's legs unfolded beneath her without thought as she stood to get the door, tip toeing until she was out of the living room so as not to stir Sophie.

She opened the door.

"Hey," she whispered, hoping to clue Avery in as to the state of her baby girl. "She's right in the living room. Out like a light." She glanced inside. "Want to come in for a quick drink? I have wine."

She always had wine.

Avery was reaching up to pull her hair out of its ponytail, fluffing it a little in a sorry attempt at looking less ragged, but when Claire opened the door looking perfectly normal, she realized it was a lost cause. Not that it mattered here. Her eyes darted past her sister, as if she could see the little girl in the next room. But if Sophie was asleep and Claire was offering, Avery was obviously not going to turn the wine down.

She sighed sort of gratefully, nodding and following Claire inside. Sophie was a lucky little lass to be resting peacefully. Avery half wondered if she wouldn't be better at this whole training thing if she were sleeping more regularly. "That sounds incredible," she said, her voice low to match Claire's. "How was she?"

Claire ushered her sister inside and closed the door behind her. "She was a dream." They crept through the living room quickly and Claire cast a muffliato in its direction so they could relax once they hit the tile of the kitchen. "She may go down in history as the most well-behaved child in all of England. Not sure where she got it from. Neither of us were very behaved."

And her dad certainly wasn't.

Strangely, though, the Bishop girls would have probably seemed easy to any other family. Avery had hoped to please but had seen a family drifting apart and accidentally forced them further apart by jumping ship. Claire never openly rebelled, going along with all her father asked of her, misbehaving in ways she still was not sure he had known about - hanging out with the poor kids, taking her new dresses straight to the thrift shop, taking the bus even though her dad told her not to. Their misbehaving had been subtle, well-intentioned.

Claire reached into the cupboard for a bottle of wine, setting out two glasses. "How was work?"

"That was probably Bridget's doing, really," Avery mused, shrugging a little. "Then again, she's always been... quiet." Her eyes flicked over to Claire's, embarrassment plain on her face and merely adding to her already rather rough appearance.

As Claire pulled down the glasses and bottle, Avery sank into one of the kitchen chairs and shook her head a little. "I met with the Minister recently, actually. I haven't been doing very well for months, but I can admit that it got worse more recently. So I expected, y'know, the worst." Her brow furrowed, still disbelieving. "But he asked me to move departments instead. But the new training is just, I mean... Merlin, it's dreadful."

She ran a hand over her face, fingers pausing to rub at the inner corners of her eyes before she dropped her arm to the top of the table. "I don't think I'm cut out for this new job, but-- I don't know what else to do. Robert thinks I can do it, apparently." Avery looked up at her sister, wondering if she'd get in trouble for telling Claire the whole truth. "He's got me working in the Department of Mysteries now, as an Antiquities Researcher. I thought that meant, like, searching for missing things or looking through records. That wouldn't be half bad. But he's got me climbing bloody rock walls and..." She rolled her eyes, cheeks reddening at the language she'd used. "Sorry. It's just... a mess. I'm a mess."

Claire shrugged at Avery's words, feeling Avery's worry on the back of her neck as she poured them drinks. Without even looking at her, she said, "Quiet doesn't mean well behaved. I was a quiet, secret monster." She turned and handed her sister a glass, saying, "She's good. True good, and all."

Claire wondered if she would ever think herself good. She felt like she acted for the forces of 'good' but had little regard for the methods and their morality. She lived in the grey, her goals in the light and the path to them meandering through the dark. But well-manicured and properly-dressed, who would ever guess that Claire Bishop was anything but proper.

She was surprised that Avery seemed so quick to admit her struggles as of late - Avery always seemed to anxious to admit failure or weakness. But Claire felt the confusion on own face when her sister said the minister had taken an interest. She knew Lupin was a domesticated man, but getting involved in the love lives of one of his lower level employees. But she listened calmly, a perfect poker face until-

It was like the opposite of a spit take. Not quite a choke but like a reverse spit take where she sucked wine into her mouth so quickly that it almost sputtered out of her lips. Her hand flew to her lips, her eyes wide as she stared at her sister.

For a long time she just stared at her sister. But finally she had to confirm that she wasn't hearing things wrong. "You're working where?"

Avery flinched, blinking at her sister in surprise. Not complete surprise, though, considering she understood the reaction since she'd had something quite similar herself. But at the same time, an unexpected defensiveness struck her as well. She had no right to be annoyed, really, considering who she was. Without Keiran, though, to give her a weird look but just let her do the stupid thing she was already going to do, she didn't have anybody to offer even skeptical support.

Her lips pressed together, flattening into a thin line before she finally nodded and took a deep drink from the wine glass. Avery couldn't remember the last time she'd really had an interest in drinking, but Merlin, it just seemed like the thing to do at that point. "Yeah, well," she muttered, setting the glass back down and looking at that rather than at Claire. She just couldn't bear that look from yet another person she'd come to truly respect despite everything. It didn't seem to go both ways, at least not in the moment, but Avery could really only hope she was wrong.

"I never expected it, either. Maybe he'll realize I'm rubbish and relegate me to a desk again. Merlin knows I've got loads of experience with that.."

It took only a few seconds for Claire to realize that she had not exactly handled that with grace. As she spoke, she heard the words come off much more condescending and harsh than she had meant, and she could see that the words had lashed out at Avery with a cruelty Claire wasn't actually intentional in delivering. She spent a lot of time seeing her words hurt people, settled in as destructive criticisms when they were meant to be something entirely different.

She could see Avery struggle between backtracking and wanting to speak up for herself, and Claire desperately tried to grasp onto what bothered her so much about the idea of her sister working in the Department of Mysteries, and then filter what she could actually say to her. Because... it didn't take a genius to see that timid Avery, who was nervous around dragons and hated confrontation, would be overwhelmed in potentially the most dangerous and least cooperative department. Avery working in the same field as the very-different Jack Dyllan, with-

Oh Merlin.

Something in her was icy, the thought of him having such easy access to her sister. She could see the smirk on his face when she said her last name, the stupid comment about how similar their hair was, how he could not wait to get lunch with her and hear all about growing up with ickle baby Claire.

That wouldn't do.

Claire shook her head. "I didn't mean to say- I'm sure you're not rubbish. Especially if the Minister put you there. I just thought- it's dangerous, is all. Even more dangerous than working with dragons. Even the best get hurt. I'm always telling Jack it's not fair to those kids she adopted for her to work there."

She had never said such a thing, never thought to dissuade that adrenaline junkie from getting her fix. Claire switched tactics. "It just doesn't seem like work that... that fits you."