No one ever said it would be easy

It still hadn't completely processed in his mind that he supposed to be married within the next few weeks and he was sure that when it did finally process, he would freak out terribly. But right now wasn't the time to thinking about, kind of. He knew everything would be repeated now that he and Trisha would talk about it all.

"Um... Could we maybe take a walk and think all this through? You probably have some questions about my family and my, um, nickname."

"Yeah, sure. Let's go."

Without thinking it through, Caspian had subconsciously reached for Trisha's hand as he led her out of the castle toward the grounds. If there was any place they could talk and walk around without much interruption, it would be the grounds. She was right though. About him having questions. He had a lot of questions, but about everything they were supposed to do in a few weeks. Not really about her family or background or anything.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. The things he'd heard about her made him curious about her. He didn't care about her nickname or anything, but he wanted to know what his future wife's family was like. "So.. want to tell me about your nickname?" he asked, trying to make conversation. Even though he knew that might not have been the best topic to start with.

Whatever Trisha had expected, it wasn’t this. She had no idea that Caspian was going to pick her hand up with his and keep hold of it as they left the castle. The walk was essentially silent, except perhaps for her near-silent gasp at the physical contact. No one really got very close to her, if she stopped to think about it. Over the years, the only people who ever bothered touching her or taking up her hand in theirs were family members.

But wasn’t that what Caspian was supposed to be in a month’s time? Her family?

If he saw her as such, Tris knew she would put in as much effort as she could manage to give him back whatever he gave. Love was clearly something she didn’t understand outside of her family members, but if she grew to love him nearly as much as she loved her siblings or parents, they wouldn’t have any problems. Of that, she was sure.

She nearly broke the silence to suggest that he had made an intelligent choice in his leading her down to the grounds; it was often quiet, and this time of year she didn’t quite expect many people to be out and about. Then again, he was a Ravenclaw, was he not? He knew the probability of his choice being a good one, and she needn’t point it out. As if he could sense her fears or desperation to break the silence, Tris caught his movement out of the corner of her eye as he started to speak.

Not nearly as taken aback as she perhaps should have been, Trisha looked up at him briefly, pretending not to notice the fact that out of everyone she could have been stuck with, she’d gotten him. Caspian seemed like someone who actually cared when he asked a question – didn’t just say things to say them or ask things to pretend to listen. According to the law, Muggleborns were more likely to marry Purebloods – and his last name certainly sounded like he was. So maybe she was right in thinking that he didn’t really want this. Trisha wasn’t the lucky type who would just happen into being matched with a guy who actually didn’t approve of the Pureblood supremacy theory. She never seemed to have things go her way. Especially with guys; her last attempt at a semblance of a relationship had ended after one miserable Quidditch Match and the realization that he wasn’t actually interested. Not that she blamed him. No, indeed, she was quite the awkward individual and knew it, too.

“Well,” she started suddenly, realizing she had never answered him. “See, my family, the Bates family, um, we’re not exactly the most popular people in town. My parents are what one might call Ghost Hunters in the Muggle world – as my parents are both Muggles. My siblings and I help out sometimes.” Tris could barely believe she was even getting the words out, nonetheless so many at once. How was it so easy to talk to him? Of course, she feared being judged by most everyone, but the way he had so easily accepted this and asked what she wanted? It made things seem less… complicated. Tris squeezed his hand gently before she realized she’d done it, loosening her hand entirely, to the point where if he wanted to drop it he could do so easily. He probably hadn’t intended to so it originally and then felt he couldn’t undo what he’d done without getting himself into trouble.

“But the thing is, though,” she continued, “I don’t really see them as ghost hunters exactly. They want to help people, and help the spirits that are trapped in the houses or buildings. It isn’t some Muggle show where they go about provoking them.” The thought made her bristle slightly, but she kept it to herself. The annoyed tone might have suggested her feelings about it, though. “When I go on trips with them, I’m almost what you might call a go-between. I can get through to them and understand them more easily than my parents or siblings can. I guess when people here found out,” Tris added, gesturing to the grounds and the castle with her free hand, “they just thought we were mental. Bad enough that their being Muggles makes them targets to begin with. Now they want to talk to ghosts? People around here don’t understand it.”

She shook her head before looking across the grass in front of them – she just needed to look somewhere besides at him. Trisha feared she would give her whole self away if he let her keep talking like this. Her mind was telling her to shut up and let the boy speak (or run away, if that was his preferred action) but she just couldn’t seem to stop. Not when she could finally tell someone about everything.

“So now I’m sort of determined to work with spirits – maybe not through the Ministry anymore, with all of their mental laws, but somewhere. Mostly to prove everyone wrong.”

Shrugging it off as she so often found herself doing around her classmates, she let her free arm wrap around her torso as if it could protect her from any response he gave. Undoubtedly he would think her as mad as everyone else did. Right?

There was too much thought being put into this. Why couldn't they just go with whatever and let things happen the way they will have too? Because it wasn't natural. Everything the Ministry wanted to happen wasn't natural, at all. Things like that needed to happen on their own and not be influenced by other people.

Caspian felt her grip tighten for a second before her hand went limp in his and for a moment the Ravenclaw thought about letting her hand go. Maybe she'd be more comfortable if he let it go? Or maybe it'd just get awkward if he did. As a result, Caspian decided that even if she let her hand lay limp within his, he wouldn't drop it. It felt somewhat natural to hold her hand, no matter how unnatural it might actually be.

With her explanation about how her family, her parents were ghost hunters and how no one really seemed to understand it, Caspian grew angry. Angry at the other students who should understand, and angry at his own family because he knew once they found out about her and her family, they'd make some sort of remark about their likes and jobs or hobbies.

"Well, I think it's cool." he said suddenly, through his anger at the witches and wizards that couldn't understand that. "They seem like they're interesting and fun people to be around." he added with a smile. "Someday, if it's fine with you, I'd like to go with you all to one of those calls - or whatever they're called." he told her, giving her hand a slight squeeze.

What would Hayley think, Trisha wondered, if she saw her sister being so talkative with someone aside from Raine? That was the only person her siblings had ever met from Tris’s life in the Wizarding world. Things had fallen out between the girls, unfortunately, leaving Tris alone once more as the different one among her family. Not that they seemed to mind. Her siblings and parents had never thought her differences had been a problem. But in the world she supposedly was supposed to be involved with for the rest of her life, she wasn’t usually accepted.

It was a shame, Trisha sometimes told herself, that she wasn’t a very good actress. Because it would be so much easier to just pretend she was more outgoing or someone else. Perhaps then she would have actually known the boy she was walking with – who, really, she should have known. They were in the same year and house, and undoubtedly the same classes.

He didn’t release her hand, though she had expected him to, and it gave her a shocking amount of reassurance. Tris kept that bit to herself, though, not sure how he would react if her brain-to-mouth filter stopped and she just stuttered out anything that came to mind. Caspian almost seemed to tense at her explanation, but his reaction made her stop in her steps and stare at him.

Was he serious? Or was he toying with her? She didn’t know his friends, really. She knew a few mutual friends, but he undoubtedly had others. For all she knew, they could be the type to ask questions about the crazy Spirit Girl from Ravenclaw. But he was asking her permission, and squeezing her hand, and seemed so incredibly sincere about what he was saying. Suddenly, and Tris didn’t realize she was doing it until her cheeks started hurting, she was grinning at him. A real smile that wasn’t forced or a show for the people around her. She couldn’t remember the last time she had done that at Hogwarts.

For the first time in ages, she didn’t think but rather just acted and just was. “They all would love that. I know they would.” She nodded, tugging on his arm to pull him into a hug. When was the last time she had hugged someone besides her family? Tris couldn’t remember. But if the Ministry was serious about this, Caspian would be around to be this strong person and to be someone she would always have for hugs. “And yes, they’re calls.” She laughed after realizing she hadn’t replied.

Pulling away, Trisha offered a smile, pushing her ridiculously fiery, so curly it’s bushy hair out of her face as the wind picked up. “You don’t need to worry about my family,” she assured him, hands stuffing themselves into her back pockets as she shifted weight. “They would sooner adopt you than judge you. I mean, I can’t talk for your folks, though. I don’t want… I would hate it if they got mad at you about this.”

She glanced around, cheeks flushing, and caught sight of a tree they could settle themselves under to talk. Then she wouldn’t be tempted to run away. Her feet started carrying her over to it as she looked over at him again. “Are you the only one of your family that’s in this? My siblings are all Muggles so they aren’t affected by this.”

The Ravenclaw smiled when she said her family would like it if he went on a call with them. Caspian had never done things like that, especially not with Muggles and he didn't know how they handles spectral beings. He was curious and he found it very interesting that Muggles took interest in ghost and other things like that.

He hadn't expected her to hug him though and while he was surprised, he couldn't deny that he liked it. With a smile forming on his lips, Caspian hugged her back quickly. Once she answered his question and pulled away, he felt like he was pouting. He didn't want to let her go for some reason he didn't understand. He liked feeling her near him, in his arms.

I can’t talk for your folks, though

Caspian winced. His family, they were always a problem. He knew that they would be a problem for this, there was no way to deny it. Purebloods like them wouldn't take kindly to their family being married into another that wasn't Pureblood. And they would especially hate that Caspian, of all people, was being married into a Muggle family.

But like he had decided before, they weren't going to say anything. He squeezed her hand again as he thought about that and he sighed. "You shouldn't worry about them. They don't have a say in anything anyways. They're gonna have to deal with whatever happens, and what's going to happen is us getting married. No matter how much they might not like it." he told her.

"Besides, I'm sure with time they'll learn to love you like a daughter. You're nice and pretty and they'll see that you aren't as bad as they will probably think." he smiled at her.

Trisha led them over to the tree as he replied, still feeling a little off kilter from his smile at her words. It was almost painful to realize that much like she hadn’t smiled at people in ages – not a real smile – the same was true of people regarding her. How many times a day did she get a confused glace or smirk from the people around her? And here Caspian was smiling like her words meant something or could fix things. Of course, they couldn’t.

Guilt hit her stomach at his wince, though, not having meant the words as they escaped. Well, that wasn’t quite true. She did mean the words, but she didn’t mean to direct them at him. In her mind, thoughts could be tossed out without hurting anyone or without any judgment from the outside world. She had, of course, managed to insult the one person she supposedly had on her side.

Nice one, Tris. She scolded herself silently, sinking to the grass-covered earth beneath the branches of the tree, looking up at him as he spoke.

“I think you’re a little too optimistic,” she pointed out vaguely, lifting a single eyebrow in surprise at the idea that his parents would like her. Wasn’t he a pureblood? He was supposed to be, if the matching went as the Prophet had claimed. Where Muggleborns were meant to be matched with Purebloods if at all possible. “But I suppose I’ll need that, though, since I won’t be able to find the optimism come time to meet them.”

She paled at the idea of having to meet his family – what if he had a bunch of older siblings like she did, but his weren’t as understanding as he thought? Or a million cousins who stared at her or made snide comments all day? Trisha was fairly certain she wouldn’t be able to handle it. She would sooner run home, admittedly, than sit through it. If only she had been braver, like a Gryffindor. That would have made things easier. Staring at the grass between her shoes, eyes large and rather like a deer in headlights, Tris tried to fight off the mental images of unknown people glaring at her and snapping at her.

Caspian sat down quietly next to Tris after she let herself sink to the grass. He merely shrugged at her comment and looked at the water. Maybe he was being too optimistic, but one of them had to be, right? It seemed to him that she wasn't going to be the optimistic one, so that meant he had to be that person.

And he was going to be the one. He wasn't going to let her feel like she was anything less than she was, even though he knew that once she met his family, she might end up thinking like that. They would make sure of it.

Sometimes Caspian hated being Pureblood. He'd be much better off being anything else, in fact he'd prefer coming from a Muggle family, like Tris did. Although now, technically, he was getting a Muggle family since he was marrying into one. He wanted to learn from them, honestly. He wanted to find out what it was like to live the way Muggles did.

"I might be," he told her. "But if I'm not, no one else will be, right?" he added with a slight smile. The Ravenclaw noticed that the girl seemed to be thinking too much and that was something he didn't want. He knew what it was like to be let loose into your own thoughts and he was going to keep her from doing that for as long as he could. Even if it wasn't long, but he had to figure out what he could do.

At that moment only one thing came to mind. He swallowed hard, hoping she didn't lash out at him for what he was going to do and he placed his hand under her chin, making her lift her head up. Immediately after she was face to face with him, Caspian leaned in, closing his eyes and he pressed his lips against hers.

Trisha nearly lifted an eyebrow at him, but before she could manage it he had reached out, turning her head so she was looking at him properly. Before she could tell what he wanted or ask after it, Caspian had leaned in and was kissing her. Without thinking, she tensed against him; no one had ever even been close enough to her for this to happen, so how was she supposed to know what to do? By the time she had registered that she probably shouldn’t be so ridiculous, and that it wasn’t even a little bit unpleasant, he had started to pull away.

For reasons she couldn’t quite fathom, Tris lifted her hand, pushing her fingers through his hair and pulling him back, determined to do it right at least once. Lashes brushing against her cheeks, she leaned towards him, angling her lips against his so they could press back against his own. It wasn’t until she realized that her hair was probably being pushed into his face from the breeze off the lake that she let her hand drift down from his hair, over his shoulder, and down to his chest. Pulling away, she blinked at him, half expecting her to inform her that she hadn’t done it right at all.

“Sorry…” Tris murmured, letting her hand drop back to her lap. Pressing her back against the bark of the tree, she turned to look out over the grounds, having forgotten for a moment where they were. Instantly, her face flushed a bright red at the realization that anyone could have seen them. What would they say about Caspian now, when he’s spending time with the school outcast – not to mention kissing her? Poor thing.

That was something he hadn't expected.

He expected her to hit him, to push him away, to yell at him and even run away. But something he hadn't been expecting at all was to have her kiss him back. He just didn't think it was going to happen. But it wasn't like he hadn't liked it. It was obvious she hadn't kissed anyone before him but it must have been equally obvious that he hadn't done that either.

He had taken a chance with kissing her the way he had, and he had even forgotten that they were out in public, not that it made much difference to him. Although a better place to do all of this was probably the common room where only a few people would see them and not the amount that had started to form in his mind.

No, stop it Caspian. Stop worrying about images, you don't care.

That's right. He didn't, he needed to remind himself sometimes. It was sad that he needed to, but it was something that just needed to be done so Caspian didn't end up like his parents or some of his siblings.

Tris started pulling away and he suddenly realized that she was and he didn't want it to happen. He leaned forward, trying to keep her from moving back but then he realized that he shouldn't try to force her if she didn't want to. He finally pulled himself away and looked at her as she apologized.

"There's nothing to be sorry about." he told her with a somewhat goofy grin on his face.

Looking at him once more, Trisha couldn’t keep the embarrassing giggle from breaking past her lips. The look on his face was just adorable, which she hadn’t quite expected. Well, no, she knew he was good-looking. It was more that she didn’t expect herself to be too bothered by whether he was or not. It didn’t take a genius to note that looks couldn’t be everything in a situation like this. She decided then that she had to take everything at face value; Hayley had once mentioned that where girls tended to speak in circles and jump away from what they really wanted to say, men tended to be relatively straightforward in their responses. Tris hadn’t quite believed it at the time, but so far, Caspian had given her no reason not to believe him. To not believe in him.

Passing a hand over the top of her hair in an attempt to flatten it, she let her fingers hold the hair against her neck as she bit her lip over her smile. As far as first kisses went, she had a feeling that one had been pretty decent. Not that she had anything to measure it against. But still.

“Um, right. Um,” Tris attempted, fumbling over her words. “So, we’ve got holiday in a few days. I have no idea how I’m going to explain this to my family…” Blinking at him a few times, her hair was released as her hands knotted together in her lap. Honestly, though, how was she supposed to have them make sense of this? A wedding before she was even out of school? She wasn’t even considered an adult in the Wizarding World, nonetheless in the eyes of her parents.

Her fingers tapped over each other as she thought it through, finally coming up with only one option that could work what with break coming up. “You could… you could come by over holiday if you want.” She offered, eyes widening at her own ability to say it aloud. “I mean, my folks will have a heart attack if I tell them I’m supposed to marry someone they’ve never met. They will seriously lose it. So that should probably happen, you meeting them.” Pursing her lips for a moment, Trisha nodded.

“Yes, they would be okay with that. Just, um, pick a day. We wouldn’t even mind if it’s on Christmas, really. We tend to waste the day away with games and the like. It’s just the five of us, so we’ll have room. We aren't too creative. We just play boardgames and watch movies. And there's food. Always.” The last bit came out with a laugh, though Tris figured the idea of stuffing oneself with food on Christmas was fairly universal.