Chase had her hands over her head, her face down in the pillow, her fists clenching her long strands of red hair. It was a mood swing for sure, but this was one of the worst she had had in a long time. Her mind kept flashing over every horrible memory of the last couple of years. The battle of Hogwarts, Nerezza, her scars, all of her dead end boyfriends, torture, and pain, so much pain. Most of it was emotional, but every part of her past came back so clearly and sharply, she could feel the crucio tearing through her scars like they hadn't done in a long time. She had been happy! Happy! And now? Now she felt like she was going to do something horrible. She bit down on her pillow and tried not to scream or cry as the horrors flew through her minds eye. Reminding her, taunting her, hurting her.
Chase flew her hand out, and grabbed her wand on the bedside table, finding it she cast a very quick silencing charm, and finally let herself scream. The pain was horrible, it hadn't been since she had sat out on the grounds with Elijah that these pains had come back. He had held her then, asked her what was wrong, then taken her someplace out of the rain. She could feel his arm around her as he supported her away from that dreadful tree, the rain coming down so hard she couldn't see. Chase sobbed into her pillow and started to twist in pain again.
Why now? Now that she had a baby growing in her, what if this hurt the baby? What if it hurt poor Kitty inside of her, feeling this horrible pain that her mother was in. What would she come out thinking? That the world was a horrible place to live in? It wasn't, it was just a horrible place for her mother. She would do everything in her power to make Kitty strong and independent. Not need the sex, the cigarettes, the alcohol. She wouldn't need a man in her life to tell her what to do. She wouldn't need anyone, she would be strong, and independent, and suddenly, Chase felt the pain ease. Thinking of her baby, she tried to imagine what she would look like, what her hair color would be, her eye color. Would she look like her or Eli more?
The pain eased down and she lay there sobbing softly, her hand over her stomach as she let the tears dissolve. She slowly stood up and moved out of her bed, grabbing the jug of water and filling a small tin cup with it. She moved to the window and took a small sip of the water, staring at the cold moon as it stared down on the earth, watching them torture themselves with memories and past experiences. Watch her writhing in her bed, tears and screams so loud that had she not put the silencing charm around her bed, it would have woken everyone in the Hufflepuff house.
Chase put her hand over her face, and felt her hair laying wet and stuck to her face. She had been sweating and crying so much that it had become damp and now lay in wet curls across her face. She felt herself get suddenly angry, horribly horribly angry. Elijah had only liked her at first because she was a redhead, people only liked her because of this stupid hair. Chase clenched her wand, and set her cup down quietly. She grabbed a fistful of her red hair. Damp from the sweat, but still beautiful in it's red quality, and she put her wand up against it, then with one swift motion, and a small flash of light, the hair below her chin came off in her hand. Roughly chopped, and still damp, she stood there, holding her hair in one hand. The hair around her face snapping back into position, and then she collapsed on the floor and cried.
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