Shipper On Deck

I didn't think that I was that popular on here. LoL, it did make me laugh. And for the record, no I wasn't suppose to have those kids because I was a vampire but no one told me that till it was too late. And Ne'Os didn't turn me Andrian did when he was a vampire that is. I have no idea how he came back to life and is now a werewolfish. So yeah, if anyone has any good ideas about what I could do next in my charries love/life, just pm me and let me know thanks.

I say instead of a single ship, you chronicle the many relationships of Andrian Potter/Daniel Valentine/(And we're delving pretty deep here) Roran somethingoranother (stronghammer, i think) as it's something that everyone knows about, Andrian was the site's biggest... how to put this nicely... womaniser... whoops, didn't hit the mark there did i? xD

Awesome Keith. You should have your own forum for this

Ne'os and Sam would have been better as a couple had their relationship been more realistic. It wasn't at all, it was just weird.

Jess: Was? he still is :/

Now there's a title to aspire to.

Yay, Darren likes it!

The next one will be Andrian's relationships. I'm just gathering a bit of information and It will be up soonish.

Hoorah... Y'know, in the years of our friendship, darren's never said anything that nice to me

*Cries* You bastard Keith

*Shoots jealous stare at Keith*

*A red curtain is quickly drawn back, revealing a large red sofa. Two people sit on the sofa, one a small, young blonde boy in a casual suit. The other is an older woman, also blonde, who wears a stylish black dress. A tattoo can be seen on her left arm. They both smile and wave to the camera*

KEITH: Hey folks. I'm Keith.
SANDRA: And I'm Sandra. And this is-
BOTH: SHIPPER ON DECK!

*A brief montage of pictures play, mostly Keith and Sandra laughing. In the final picture, Keith lounges on top of a giant heart with an arrow through it while Sandra finishes Spray painting the words Shipper on Deck in the middle. The both pose and smile towards the camera*

KEITH: It's that time again.
SANDRA: Last week, we talked about the controversial Nemantha ship. And it was...interesting.
KEITH: Normally, we'd have our letters section right now, but instead...
SANDRA: Today, we've got a little something different.
KEITH: In all his glorious wisdom, our manager booked us a special guest star! Come on out Samantha!

*Samantha enters, sits on couch, waves*

KEITH: So first, congratulations on your recent engagement...
SANDRA: *quickly* But down to buisness. As you know, last week our episode revolved around you and your ex, Ne'os Emof.
SAMANTHA: *shivers* Yes and thank you for inviting me.
KEITH: Now, the reason we've asked you on the show is a simple one. You claimed, in a letter, that we had gotten some information wrong.
SANDRA: We admitted our writer was lazy and incompetent, and therefore we invited you here today is to correct us. Are there any obvious, glaring errors you'd like to address?
SAMANTHA: *smiles, turns to crowd* "Um...One that comes to mind is that Ne'Os was not the one that changed me. A former student of Hogwarts and another ex of mine, Andrian Potter."
KEITH: *grins* Andrian? Really? Did you two have a thing? Did Ne'os know? Was there angst?
SAMANTHA: *giggles, blushes* "Um....well...."
KEITH: Dunna-du-duuuuuuuuuuun
SANDRA: Um. Well, as entertaining as that is, it isn't exactly the point of this segment. Let's move right along to the two biggest Out of Character controversies...your age and your vampire kids.
KEITH: Vampire ba-bies....
SAMANTHA: *blushes* Yes I know I'm young and I know that everyone thinks that I'm a slut, but that is only their opinions. When I had my children no one ever told me that I couldn't, so I had more. I would have not had them had someone said but it's to late now. *eyes flash red, fade to normal*
KEITH: *Grins* And while we're on it...
SANDRA: *Puts her head in her hands* God help me...
KEITH: What's the deal with Evil Sam? Why is she evil? Why is she flying? Why is she talking in bold red text?
SAMANTHA: *smile fades* Oh, that. Well my evil side usually only comes out when I'm being threatened, she can fly because I can fly, and the red text was just for effect. To make it look a little more evil. *smiles again*
KEITH: Right....
SANDRA: *Smacks Keith upside the head* Well that’s all for today Samantha. Thank you for your time.
KEITH: Let's give her a big hand folks!

*Samantha nods and smiles, leaving the stage. Keith and Sandra look back at the audience*

KEITH: Well that was...
SANDRA: Enlightening?
KEITH: I was going to go with a *Keith’s mouth is moving, but only a long beeping sound can be heard. The audience recoils*
SANDRA: Somehow you just managed to say more cuss words than I’ve heard in my entire life.
KEITH: It’s a gift.
SANDRA: Well, at least we've learned a valuable lesson.
KEITH: Vampire babies rock?
SANDRA:.....You know what? Let's just go with that.
KEITH: Yessss...Anyway, we'll be right back after these messages. Stay tuned!

*Commercials show*

*Fade back to Keith and Sandra, both smiling*

SANDRA: Today, our segment focuses not around a single ship, but around a single man.
KEITH: His name? Was Andrian. And he had a habit of being a bit of a-

*Music begins playing, drowning out Keith's voice*

MUSIC: Womanizer, woman-womanizer, you're a womanizer, Oh womanizer, oh you're a womanizer, baby You you you are, you you you are Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer (womanizer)

*Music fades*

KEITH: That.
SANDRA: Andrian dated several woman on the site. We actually have a list right here...Sophia, Nikki, Samantha, and Belle.
KEITH: However, that was just Andrian.
SANDRA: See, Andrian apparently had another account..an alt by the name of Daniel. And while Andrian was going around being...well...for lack of a better word...
KEITH: A pimp?
SANDRA: Yes. Anyway, Daniel was also doing his fair share of dating.
KEITH: In the form of Lilly Potter, Chase Moor, and Isabelle Stevens.
SANDRA: We could dedicate a different episode to each ship...
KEITH: Or they could become a MEGA-SHIP
SANDRA: Quite. We call it-
KEITH: Anphthakkibelielliisach!
SANDRA: Yes........that.
KEITH: It pwns.
SANDRA: As you can see, this episode isn't a true ship per se...more of a chronicle.
KEITH: An encyclopedia.
SANDRA: Because we're just awesome like tha- who wrote these lines?
KEITH: I like em.
SANDRA: You also like the taste of glue.
KEITH: So?
SANDRA: *Pinching the bridge of her nose* Can we take five?

*Commercials*

*Screen fades back in*

KEITH: When we left...
SANDRA: We were just about to get started with the chronicling.
KEITH: We should start at the beginning.
SANDRA: Andrian's first girlfriend was a young girl named Sophia Granger. She was 15 at the time, and they were apparently best friends before dating...
KEITH: Multiple times.
SANDRA: She describes it as "on and off"
KEITH: We describe it as "can't make up their damn minds"
SANDRA: The couple was actually one of the first on the site. But, eventually however, all things come to an end.
KEITH: In this case, it was when Nikki Granger, Andrian's real life girlfriend, joined the site and got all...I'm sorry, I can't read this word.
SANDRA: *peers over into Keith's notes* Um...this is a direct quote from an anonymous source..."and got all fiulahlfuacbl;a,"
KEITH: Dear Jess anonymous sources, please use real words. Signed, Keith and Sandra.
SANDRA: Anyway, from what we can gather, it was not a popular move.
KEITH: Ah, but love conquers all..
SANDRA: If by "all" you mean "about two weeks, then you're correct, I suppose*
KEITH: But they got back together!
SANDRA: And broke up.
KEITH: And then got back together!
SANDRA: And then broke up.
KEITH: And then....ah, screw it. You get the picture.
SANDRA: But Sophia wasn't mad.
KEITH: Despite Andrian...uh...dating...
SANDRA: Her in character sister.
KEITH: GOD he is a pimp.
SANDRA: *pops an asprin* After dating Nikki....
KEITH: A young lady named Samantha Burns joined the site.

*Crowd ooohs*

SANDRA: And as the story goes, Andrian was dating them both for about a half a week before dumping Nikki and going out with Sam officially.
KEITH: That's...that's...
SANDRA: Disgusting? Horrible? Maddening? I'm speechless too Keith...
KEITH: PIMPTASTIC!
SANDRA: Good lord....
KEITH: He is such a baller.
SANDRA: Where were we....Sophia and Andrian still maintain a strong relationship....turning Samantha into a vampire...ah! After dating Samantha, Andrian fell in love.
KEITH: Boooooooo!
SANDRA: With a certain Belle. They went steady...
KEITH: What?!
SANDRA: And eventually got married. *Shoots a smug look at Keith*
KEITH: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-*panting, frantic gasps*-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
SANDRA: Hah.
KEITH: *Sobbing* Who will I look up to now?
SANDRA: Eli?
KEITH: Oh. Right. Heh. Heh.
SANDRA: And so ends the story of Andrian.
KEITH: But not...of Daniel.
SANDRA: Uhg.
KEITH: Daniel started out dating Lilly Potter.
SANDRA: Before moving onto someone named Isabelle Stevens.
KEITH: Anyone recognize that name?
SANDRA: 'Cause we sure as hell don't.
KEITH: But there's a reason for that, isn't there?
SANDRA: Oh yes. See, after two-timing Isabelle with somebody-or-other, Daniel dumped her for Chase Moor.
KEITH: Who he then dumped.
SANDRA: To go out with Isabelle.
KEITH: Who he then dumped.
SANDRA: Isabelle had a hissy fit and left the site...
KEITH: Who he then dumped.
SANDRA: *whispers* Wrong line.
KEITH: Oh. Got into a rhythm.
SANDRA: Andrian then deleted Daniel.
KEITH: Badda-bing, badda boom, mofo.
SANDRA: *Panting* And this...is where..we're going to have to end it.....
KEITH: See you next time! I'm Keith!
SANDRA: And I'm Sandra. And this is...
BOTH: SHIPPER ON DECK!

You know what I'd like to see? A Brienne or Daniel Joshua ship of some sort. Like Brienne/Daniel (Brieniel), as impractical and improbable as it is, it'd make a very funny Shipper on Deck.

But they don't go out do they? And i don't think they're shipped by anyone, are they? But no doubt, it would be an interesting one.

Also, i very muchly liked this segment i actually fell of my chair laughing when i reached a certain keypalm, very nciely put there.

And darren didn't say it here, but he was rofling too, he told me so *Nods*

Good job!!

Actually, Jess, a couple people did think that Daniel/Brienne was real. Most likely because they hang out all the time, and they're a male and female duo.