I don't want to do this anymore....

Nikki had been watching out the window for a while now in her Gryffindor robes, which were wet and so was her hair and her make up was seriously messed up. She'd been walking around the school and out of no where the rain came and fell down on her. She should've stayed inside, but she didn't. She should've taken an umbrella, but she didn't. Lately she's just been out of it and feels like she might snap any moment. Nikki swallowed and breathed in slowly and exhaled quickly and was still staring outside, staring at the Wintry weather...Snow, rain, coldness, darkness, and perhaps the end. She didn't care if she was wet, she was always cold anyways and nothing could warm her up, except sometimes Harry and she hasn't seen him in a long time. She hasn't seen anybody in a long time...Isolation, she thought to herself.

Sophia walked happily up to the portrait and smiled. "Well isn't someone happy today!" said the portrait of the fat lady smiling. "Indeed, this is the happiest I been in months!"said Sophia happily. "I'm happy for you sweetie, password?" the portrait asked getting back to her job. "Oh right, I almost forgot sorry Quid Agis."said Sophia softly as the portrait opened and let her through. As she came in smiling happily to herself a frown appeared on her face when she seen Nikki wet, soaked and depress which reminded her of how she was a couple of days ago. "Nikki, what's wrong?"Sophia asked her softly as she walked over towards her and sat down beside her as her eyes turned gold meaning she was worried.

Nikki shivered and gasped and jumped all at the same time when she heard someone enter the room and to speak to her. It was only Sophia. Nikki could only continue to stare outside and felt like she hadn't blinked in a long time, and was only a statue. Isolation... Nikki croaked to Sophia. Nikki shut her eyes and swalloed again and shivered. Isolation.... Nikki spoke again. Nikki couldn't speak her mind, something was wrong, but even Nikki didn't know. She just felt like everything was coming to an end, that it was all going to stop. So so so cold and dark, she thought.

Sophia looked at her with her golden eyes and looked at her confused and worried. " Isolation, Nikki what are you talking about?"Sophia asked her softly. As she walked up towards her she took a seat beside her and hugged her as tight as she could. "Nikki, you will never be alone no matter how alone you may feel."said Sophia softly letting go of her sister. "Nikki, now tell me what's wrong your like a statue and your never like this!'said Sophia softly. "I know how you feel, I was like this a couple of days ago you just need someone to talk to get you back on the ground."said Sophia softly.

I haven't seen anybody in ages, it feels so long since I had been on a shopping trip with close people. Nikki choked. I have barely seen Andrian and Samantha and you and Mari and Matt and everyone.... Nikki frowned. Nikki liked the hug she got from Sophia, felt very warm and comforting but felt guilty for now she was wet. When I wake up, I curse...when I sleep, I'm thankful...supposed to be the other way, isn't it? Nikki asked. I feel like I've accomplished nothing, I'm a waste, I couldn't even be there for you or Sam or anybody! Nikki said and banged her hand on the window.

"I'm sorry Nikki I been so busy it's just being a seventh year is taking alot out of me, but I promise I'll spend more time with you."said Sophia softly. As she realize she was all wet now she flocked her wand at herself as she dried off. "Here you might need this more then I do!'said Sophia flicking her wand at her sister as she sent a drying spell towards her. "I actually see all of them lately, but I guess I gotten lucky for I haven't talked to Andrian in a long time but daddy and Sammy I talked to everyday!" said Sophia softly. Sophia nodded when she asked if it was suppose to be the other way around. " I'll talk to Sammy and daddy and tell them you miss talking to them.'said Sophia softly as she seen her sister band her head on the glass window. "Whoa, stop that Nikki Granger!'said Sophia pulling her away from the window.

I don't want to interuppt dad - er I mean Matt from his very important job, he has better things to worry about than my social life. Nikki told Sophia. Thank you, I feel a bit better now. Nikki nodded as she felt slightly warmer than before. Nikki began to cry and shake. I'm sorry, I just everytime I try to find somebody I know, I feel less motivated and lazy and just can't bring myself to find them so I just go to a cafe and drink away and then go into the forest and look for feed! Nikki cried and babbled on. I've even missed out on about half of my Hannah concerts, in muggle world there are news headlines saying 'Where's Hannah? She's not in Montana!' Nikki exclaimed. I know, you're very busy being a 7th year and such... Nikki mummured.

Sophia shook her head. "Nikki Granger, you don'tneed to be doing that when I'm here!"said Sophia softly but loudly. "I know I have been busy, but I will drop everything just to help you, your my sister no what!"said Sophia softly. "Well maybe we can do a Hannah concert this weekend and show those Muggles that your not missing!'said Sophia softly. "I will also be guitarist and back up singer like I was.'said Sophia giving her a soft warm smile. Sophia would do anything to make her sister happy can even if she had to drop some of the things she had to do.

I can't do it anymore... Nikki shook her head. I can't look after Jake.... Nikki told her. And I don't want anyone else I know to look after Jake. Nikki continued. I have to let him go, I need to go to muggle world and let someone else, a better family who, you know, and just let adopt him. Nikki sobbed. Everytime I look at him, I see Andrian and then I feel like running to him and kissing him and hugging him but I can't because I do not know where he is. Nikki said. I do not want that anymore, I need to let a family adopt Jake and everything will be ok. Nikki nodded but cried.

Sophia looked at Nikki and hugged her. "Nikki I know how you feel, I was in the same position as you were.'said Sophia softly. "How about this, you move in with me in my beach house in Hawaii you and Jake can have your own room and when were at school my house elf Mimi can watch them like she does my kids how does that sound?"Sophia asked her softly. "But if you feel you must give him up, you got to do what you got to do.'said Sophia softly. "Look at me Nikki, I have four kids and I love them dearly and I wouldn't give them up for nothing of course it's hard at times but I have you, daddy, my friends and Andrian to help me.'said Sophia softly. "We will do the same for you, only if you want it, it's not a crime to ask for help every now and then!'said Sophia softly.