Tales of Intrigue

“Oh my...so what happened next?”

Unlike the nights before when Elijah had retreated to his little cafe after seeing his children to bed, tonight, the Bulgarian had pulled. His luck with women was severely depleted and for some reason he found himself drawing in the brainless woman that would stare, slack-jawed at him as if he were God’s gift to females. At one point, Elijah would have agreed. At one point, he would have drawn in more of them and charmed every last one of them right up until the point of release. At one point, he would have spoken about art and theatre in an attempt to woo said female but tonight he could not muster the strength to do so. Instead he spoke about art and theatre in a slightly pessimistic tone. He described trying to paint the Notre Dame and vented his frustrations with legs in particular; about how wonderful they were yet increasingly difficult to get into proportion.

This woman was no muse. Her nose was altered, her breasts weren’t real and he was sure that was lip filler making her bottom lip as ripe as it was. Nothing stirred within him. He did not want her as he would have done had he been drunk or otherwise. A year ago, he would have already been kicking her out by now. Now, he could barely stomach the appearance of the woman despite having had many like her. He never painted these women though. They were plastic and were not fit for oils. He could tell what she wanted from him though. She wanted what he would have wanted not so long ago. She wanted him to whisk her home and have his way with her before showing her the door. To get release, sexual or otherwise, would have admittedly done him some favours but he couldn’t bare it.

Impotent he was not, bored by what he saw however, he was.

“She left,” Elijah deadpanned, putting his pencil down.

Seemingly, the girl wasn’t as dumb as she looked and slowly she slid out from the booth. Elijah heard the sound of her retreating heels and didn’t exhale until he heard the door of the cafe slam shut. With a heavy sigh, Elijah picked up the cup of coffee that he’d let go cold during his tale of intrigue. He lifted it to his lips and drank eagerly from the cup. Once it was drained, he sat it back down again and pushed it towards the edge of the table. The waitress that sidled by picked it up and knew not to talk to the Bulgarian. His eyes had fallen to the sheet of paper. His drawing was cartoon-like; the woman’s proportions exaggerated greatly. Elijah contemplated not signing his name at the bottom but in the end he relented, scribbling his signature in the bottom right hand corner before tearing it off and starting again.

Rise slipped into the little cafe nervously. She hadn't left the Longbottom's estate in a long time, and now.. now she was outside of the house, not just outside the house, but quite a ways from it. She had gotten into contact with her parents, and now that they knew where she was, they had said she could stay as long as the Longbottom's would keep her, making it sound as though they didn't want to see her anyway. But, they had also given her some money, and the key to the family vault at Gringotts.. so at least she was able to take care of herself better then she had before. She was nervous about being outside the house again, looking everywhere for mean people, but other then that she was giddy with excitement. The Longbottom's were good to her, and kind, and gentle, and she loved their house, along with their plants. She would help Neville in the greenhouse every day, and bug Frank constantly. It was like having a family that actually cared about her existence.. even if Alice didn't care for her to much.. in fact Rise was pretty sure she hated her.

Anyway...

Rise walked into the cafe, and looked around. She had a few muggle pounds in her pocket, and she was dying for a cappuccino. It felt like years since she had had one, and upon seeing the little cafe, she hadn't been able to resist. Glancing around the room, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and glanced around again, and saw a slightly familiar face. Frowning, Rise stared at the man for a long moment, trying to place him. Then Rise remembered, she had seen him at the house not to long ago. They had gotten back from shopping right before he had left, and she wasn't sure if he had seen her, but she remembered him... he was hard to forget, handsome face, and much older then her. Seventeen or Eighteen probably! Rise frowned and knew that the reason he had been at the house was to talk to her brother, Frank. Who was good at counseling.. well obviously he was, he had somehow managed to get her to get out of the house for the first time in a long time.

But that boy.. he looked so upset.. so lonely.. he was doodling something on a piece of paper, and Rise, plucking up some courage she didn't know she had, she strode across the Cafe, and sat down right in front of him. She leaned forward, staring at him for a long moment. "You were at my house the other day." She said simply, looking slightly like a bird about to take flight, her gaze intense, her long brown hair, messed up, and a small smile playing on her lips. "You're Elijah Krum... Viktor Krum's son.. Neville tells me about him a lot... and I heard you were upset.." she said simply, putting everything out on the table in one go, in one breath even. "Why are you upset?" She asked softly, her courage failing her, and she sat back in her seat, putting her hands on the table, and staring at her fingernails, eyes darting up to glance at him every now and then, her legs kicking out every now and then, like a little girl who was lost, even though she was fifteen years old, she still felt like a child, and she wanted to be a child, after what had happened to her.. she was going to put off growing up for as long as possible.

The Muggle government had little authority over this part of town and so the smoking ban that had been introduced in the early noughties meant nothing. Evidence of that was all around the room, from the lack of ‘No Smoking’ signs to the ashtrays that were on every table – not to mention the man sat by the door having a causal cigarette while reading the Telegraph. Elijah thought it rather typical but he did not complain; in fact, he enjoyed it. His ashtray already had a few butts in it and he was considering lighting another; and in fact, he did.

Elijah leaned forward and grasped his lighter off of the table. He flicked the lid back and waited for it to ignite before bringing it to the tip of his cigarette. He closed the lighter and took his first inhalation. Elijah began to relax immediately and he blew the smoke into the air towards the fan that was circulating the stale air, the smells from the kitchen and the perfume that he was sure the waitresses bathed in. Elijah picked up his pencil once more and curved the tip across the page, forming the acorn face-shape that was the best template to start with.

When someone sat down across him, Elijah looked up. He took in the face of the young woman before dropping his eyes back to the page. His hand began to move easily across the sketch book and he watched the picture materialise. He brought the cigarette back to his lips for a moment and blew the smoke upwards as he continued to get the face shape of the young woman. Elijah only half listened to her words as he glanced up to find where her hairline was.

“You’re staying with the Longbottoms aren’t you?” Elijah asked his own question before answer hers. “Yes, I was there.” He bit his lip before asking, “Why on earth would Neville Longbottom want anything to do with my father? You make it sound as if he is in awe of him.” Elijah snorted and shook his head before bringing the cigarette to his lips once more. He flicked the ash into the ashtray and brought his arm up onto the back of the booth, returning his gaze back to the sheet of paper. “I’m not upset.” He replied as he sorted out where her eyes were in relation to her hairline. “I’m sure it’s depression. Is that what you wanted to hear? I’m sure if you hurried, you could make it to the Daily Prophet before it closes. They could write an entire article from that alone, I’m sure. They’re creative little vermin. Tell them also that the suicide failed. Hastening the inevitable doesn’t work fast enough I’m afraid.”

Rise tilted her head at the man, and frowned. "Neville went to Hogwarts when Viktor was in the Tri-Wizard Tournament.." She said softly, watching as he drew her face. She frowned and then looked down at her feet. "With Harry Potter.." She said gently, and then sighed. She had been to his and his parent's grave site often, especially when she was sad and needed some help getting cheered up. Whenever she saw his grave, it made her think that there were still nice people in the world, he had been so young, and been through so much. Everybody knew his story.. and everybody knew the rumors... everyone knew... it was a lot to think about. Everyone knowing everything about you.. but did they know you at all? Rise frowned and looked up at Elijah again.

"I don't work for the Prophet!" She said, annoyance creeping into her voice. "I'm staying with the Longbottom's yes.. but because they took me in... I'm not looking to report on your life.. I just wanna know why your sad.." She said staring at him, leaning forward again, like a bird about to take flight. "Why would you want to kill yourself?" She asked, lowering her voice at kill. "I mean.. there are plenty of ways to die.. and offing yourself isn't really the best choice is there? I mean.. obviously you didn't REALLY wanna kill yourself.. otherwise you would have tried something different..." She shook her head. "Death Eaters will kill you.. Werewo....People will do it for you.. so why are you sad? You look sad... and lonely.. and yet, you have everything." She tilted her head to the side. "Correct me if I'm wrong.. but.. you're getting married aren't you?" She said and then blushed scarlet. She often read about Elijah Krum's life in the Magazines that came to the Longbottom's house, and she had even picked up one that detailed his wedding a bit more, just on the street. He was like royalty.. so why was he upset? Rise kept her position, slightly leaned forward, watching his pencil drawing, her eyes flitting up to his face every now and then, watching as the picture of herself unfolded on the page.

Elijah knew the story of the Tri-Wizard Tournament. He knew how weak his father had been, how susceptible he’d been to Dark Magic. He knew that his father and Mr. Longbottom had never really brushed feathers, his father preferring the Malfoys for company. The mention of Harry Potter did not strike a chord with Elijah as it should have done. After all, he had been the one to visit the wizard. Now though, Elijah feigned indifference when really, his stomach was turning over painfully in his torso. Harry Potter – how brave he’d been. Elijah was tired and weak. He could not have lived the same way as Harry Potter had done; he could not have done what Harry Potter had.

When the blonde snapped at him, Elijah’s eyebrow rose.

“Yes, I figured that out,” He drawled, flicking more cigarette ash into the ashtray. He took a look at it and grimaced before stubbing out the offending thing. “Though, why should that stop you? They like informants.” When she told him she didn’t wish to report on him, Elijah’s eyebrows shot to his hairline. His smirk came out as more of a grimace and he picked up his coffee, a light, “Good,” passing his lips.

“It’s the last choice,” Elijah responded. “I’ve been weighing up my options and I do want to die. I’m just buying myself time, seeing if I can find anything worth living for before I actually make an effort. Cigarettes and drink seem to help. They give me time but they’re doing the job. It’s thrilling, really, knowing that I have that much control over my life. That’s the only control. I get to decide whether I live or die and I think Merlin for that. Do I get my release or do I continue on with the torture?”

“Everything?” Elijah gave a cold laugh and shook his head. “To what are you referring, young Rise – that’s your name isn’t it?” Elijah picked up his coffee again. “Materialistically I can have everything can’t I? But then again we can all have that if we work hard enough. I have nothing Rise. You think these houses matter? You think the extravagance matters to me? Frankly, I would be content in a little cottage in the middle of nowhere as long as I was surrounded by those I love.”

Elijah began to draw her eyes properly, his eyes darting to hers periodically.

"Marriage?" He scoffed. "It's only so the Krum line continues. She's a broodmare. Two sons and she's home free. I hardly have everything, Rise. I've lost much more."

Rise frowned, listening to the man talk. "But there are things worth living for!" She exclaimed, staring at the man with wide, shocked eyes. "How can there not be? Look around you! It may not look so pretty right now.. but there are other things! Just.. Just.. because you've lost some things.. doesn't mean they aren't there!" She said, eyes wide, hardly believing this man. Rise froze when she realized he knew her name.. and then shook her head. Frank might have told him, or whatever.. it wasn't really shocking. She had been missing for quite a while there.. and now she was back, and her little time of fame had disappeared as quickly as it had come. Rise was frowning at him, seriously confused by this man.

"Okay.. so you don't want everything.. what a waste.." she muttered, frowning and shaking her head. "You don't want everything, you want love... but isn't that technically what everyone is trying to give you? I mean... Look at Frank! he doesn't even know you, but he has such a big heart.." Rise found herself pushing her hand to her chest, feeling the scar beneath her shirt there. "He cares so much.. that he wants to help you! He cares about you.. he wants you to be okay.. just like I do! I want you to be okay... I don't really know you.. or know why, but... there is so much more that's there.. I realized this for myself!" She said, her hand still on her scar, without really noticing it.

"And besides... the woman your marrying... she.. she might like you more then you think she does! She may have been put up to something she didn't want to do.." Rise couldn't look at him anymore, she wasn't really talking about this woman he was going to marry, but herself more and more. "She might not like you.. or she might, but it all depends, what do you take as love? Harry Potter had a lot of love.. so much love.. even when he was on the run! It looked like the world hated him! And most of the world did! Can you imagine that? Elijah, can you imagine the entire world hating your existence? I sure can't! But look what he did! He didn't let the fact that some people hated him, put him down, because he knew so many more people loved him.." She reached out across the table and took Elijah's hand, with a smile.

"I don't really know what I'm saying anymore.. I think I had a point in there somewhere..." She said frowning, flushing red, and pulling her hand back, so she could stare at her feet. "It's just.. you see... there's a lot more going on out there then your problems.. and.. well.. there are a lot of people who would be sad when you died... they would miss you.. there are a lot of problems in the world.. and if you.. if you don't want everything.. donate to charity.. do something with your life while you can.. if I was rich that's what I would do.. I would help werewolves..." She froze and then sighed softly, a strand of hair blown away from her face with the small puff of air. "I would help fund help for werewolves who don't have a home..." Rise stopped for a second and then smiled, feeling small tears prick her eyes. "Like me.." She glanced up at him and then sighed.

"It's hard.. when the world changes around you.. I know it is... I mean... I was a normal.. boring, everyday girl! Until Fenrir Greyback got a hold of me.. " Rise let out a nervous laugh. "Frank told me not to keep it in.. if I wanted to tell people what I was I can! And I think it's an important point to make here.." She frowned for a second, gathering her thoughts. "My whole world got turned upside down in one instant.. and yet.. and yet... I don't want to kill myself! No! I want to help! I want to help you.. I want to help people like you.. I want to be like Frank, and help people! I don't know.. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.." she said and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I just wish I could get you to look outside.. and see the sky.. see the ground.. see things in the world that you don't normally look at... and realize that people love you.. some more then others.. but they do love you..." She said softly, shaking her head.

There was a lot to live for but Elijah could find something better for all of those people who he seemed to survive for. Those who had once needed him had moved on, their desire to keep him around waning with their departure. The only people that genuinely seemed to need him were Thierry and Fauve and he knew in his heart of hearts that they probably would have been better off with Chase. He couldn’t walk away from them though. They were his children. He adored him and he knew that despite it all he had no real plans to kill himself. He could try. He could put on his false bravado of indifference about the whole thing and continue on with the promise to take his life. He could drink until there was nothing but Knuts left in his vault. He could smoke until his lungs refused to move. He needed to find his purpose. There were only so many breasts to draw and one day, Arnold was bound to get bored with his art. He needed to find something; something better.

“I want for nothing, Rise,” Elijah told her, “and as it is, I want nothing but the simplest of things that are also the most complicated: the unattainable. I know that love is the basis of what I want but I can’t...I don’t know what to do with it. I’ve never experienced it wholly. I don’t know how to identify it...I don’t know if it is real. I don’t know what people are thinking; Rise, even if I act as if I do. I am weak. Look at me. I can’t...I can barely function like this. I get myself in this rut that I crawl out of after weeks of beating myself for everything I’ve ever done wrong. I remember the moments where my idiocy ruined the perfection. The most recent cock-up would be Chase. I had every intention of marrying her. I wanted to do something right for once but the Gods, I’m convinced, hate me. I made an error; one that wasn’t even my fault. I let it happen though and now I have to suffer for it. I was used, used so I couldn’t live happily with her, used so I’d never see my daughter again.”

The words died in Elijah’s throat and he threw down the pencil. His face fell into his palms and his shoulders shook. Rise spoke above him and despite his anguish, Elijah listened. He could feel the cogs turning in his brain as bits of him were drawn together once more. The depressed part of Elijah had the happy and carefree parts at figurative gunpoint and the others had gone into tilt with it. Only a few were truly trying to get him back on track and they were planning the demise of ‘Depressed’, hoping to get to him before ‘Happy’ got himself maimed and killed to a point where those emotions could no longer be retrieved and expressed.

“She does like me more than she thinks she does,” Elijah deadpanned, lifting his head and leaning forward. He leant his elbows against the table and sighed shakily. “She’s in love with me. But I...I can’t return her feelings. I don’t know how. I don’t know how to identify it in others and I certainly don’t know how to find it in myself. I don’t know if I love her or what I feel for her is just obligation. It’s not about the world hating me. I can deal with the world hating me because as far as I am concerned...those people that have taken it upon themselves to despise me mean nothing. They are not my problem. They are entitled to my opinion. It sounds selfish in some ways. Perhaps I am more conceited than I originally thought but every time I look in the mirror...I see someone that I don’t want to be. I hate myself. That’s what I can’t stand. I can’t stand the sight I see. I hate who I’ve become and I hate the fact that I can’t change it anymore. It’s ingrained in me and I just...I want to stop seeing that person. I have been told that I am a good man and every time I wonder who they see.”

Elijah allowed Rise to take his hands in hers and his lips twitched a little. Her hand was impossible warm and almost burned his chilly skin.

“I’m replaceable Rise.” He sighed. “My father...he and his wife...he could have her turn out more children to replace me. I...I would be forgotten. I am standing on precarious ground. I can’t...I can’t...” Elijah trailed off and hung his head a little. He bit his lip and glanced up at Rise. He expected his hands to jerk back but when they didn’t, a small smile ghosted across his face. She wasn’t different. She was dangerous, more dangerous than she’d been before but Elijah didn’t care. She was still a sweet little girl with a dark, sad virus. Greyback really knew how to pick them didn’t he?

“You’re such a waste.” He murmured before backtracking. “And I don’t mean that the way it sounds. I just...of all people to end up a werewolf. Do you understand what I mean? You didn’t deserve that. Well, no one does. A home for werewolves is all well and good, and certainly Wolfsbane to hand, but what about a cure? What about something better? What if it could be just a nasty dream? I think, though, if I was going to do anything then an orphanage would be better suited. I mean to say...well, werewolves are of course a good cause but there are children out there that don’t...” He bit his lip and looked down at the table for a moment. “I don’t want to be like this, Rise. I want to get out of this rut so badly but I...I don’t know how.”

Rise listened to him, mostly break down. She frowned, and stared at him for a moment, her eyes unfocused as she listened to his words. Rise frowned and then smiled at him carefully. "No one knows what everyone is thinking Elijah.." She said softly. "The rest of the world... to me it feels like they all share some big private joke... that I don't get... but sometimes, I feel like that's how everyone feels.. Your ex... Chase? She... must have had different reasons... maybe.. there was something between you that wouldn't have worked out anyway.. and maybe.. maybe what happened happened so that both of you could be happier in the future.. like... like think of it as this.. If you had stayed together.. imagine.. once you really got to know each other, married each other.. and then you realize she has a horrible habit that just drives you insane.. like.. like.. I don't know she leaves her hair in the hairbrush.. or something, I don't know.. something really stupid but that irritates you.. soon.. that little habit.. becomes the most horrible thing in the world, and you got married to her... Elijah.." She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. "Maybe you just weren't supposed to be together.. did you ever thing.. that maybe it didn't work out, because there was someone else out there for you?" She asked a small smile on her face.

Rise sat up straighter when he spoke about hating who he had become. "Elijah.. look at me." She said leaning forward towards him again. "The only person holding you back from being who you want to be is yourself.." She said gently, reaching forward again and taking his hand. "Just think.. you smoke.. you drink.. for what? For the release you feel? For the fact that you feel like your killing yourself off slowly? But.. if you stopped, and thought, I'm better then this.. then what could you do? Instead of being upset, and smoking.. you could be.. with your family, learning what love is, learning what you want in life... but.. at the same time.. you learn who you are.. I mean.. okay, I looked at myself in the mirror.. and let me tell you.. after I was bit.. all I could see was that mark.. that.. wild look to me that I got somehow.. that's all I saw, and I hated it.. I hated myself, I didn't get out of bed for days..." She said and stared at her hand on his, frowning in thought.

"But one day.. I realized.. I realized that I had to get out of there.. I got so scared of what I was.. I tried to run.. and it wasn't until Frank found me.. lost, and confused, that I realized that I was trying to run from myself.. I hated myself so much.. I couldn't even say the word out loud.. and.. and.. it was killing me.. I wouldn't eat.. I couldn't sleep.. but.. that night.. Frank talked to me, and made me realize that he didn't hate me.. and that.. there are people who do like me.. and.. and.. he took me home.. took me to the Longbottom's house.. Elijah... you might feel lost.. you might feel.. scared, and confused, but.. but... there is always someone there to help.. that's what I'm trying to do." She said looking up at Elijah and smiling slightly.

What Elijah said about her being a waste made Rise laugh, and she nearly missed what he said after that. "I'm a waste?" She said, still giggling. "If I'm a waste, then you are a waste Elijah Krum... of all the people to be upset, to not be happy... look at you, your handsome.. your rich.. your smart, and funny, and kind.. sure you might not like what you see.. sure you might not always feel smart, or funny, or kind.. but you are... if you can be for a minute, then you are.. that's how I feel anyway.." She said smiling at him again. "But the whole home for Werewolves.. I chose this.. because.. a cure... stop and think of the probability of that.. there is a situation NOW... there are kids out there NOW.. there are people already working on a cure.. a cure because people don't like what we are.. what help would be one more person trying to find a cure.. when there are so many kids out there.. without homes.. in packs because their parents hate them... lost.. and confused, like I was.." She sighed. "I want to help people now.. A cure for if the home works out.. a cure if things work out properly... but I won't set my sights to high.. because if you set your sights to high.. you'll get disappointed every time.. so I will work on what I want to be done.. I will help kids like me.. and get them the love they deserve.. you want love don't you? Well I want to give it.." She said smiling at him again, a twinkle in her eyes.

"You want out of the rut? Is that what you really want Elijah? Then let yourself out of it.. and come with me!" She said and suddenly tightened her grip on his arm. "You.. sir, are coming with me!" She said and glanced at his cup. "Did you pay? Pay.. and then come on!" She said and spun in a tight circle, like an over excited puppy.

Elijah could hardly believe what Rise was saying. He doubted incredibly highly that their choices, influenced by the bastards above, had been pre-determined and carried out as a part of a master plan to ensure their happiness in the long run. Elijah didn’t know how he was ever going to move past their chapter. He knew what had come of it and he knew that if Chase had her way he’d never be able to see Kitty again. That idea wrangled with his heart every time he thought about it. He needed to speak to her again but he wasn’t prepared for the hollering he’d get from her pertaining to the apparent torture she’d survived. Elijah didn’t know how he was going to ever convince her to let him back into Kitty’s life, at the very least. He knew she didn’t want anything to do with him but was it too much to ask to be a part of his daughter’s life?

The sad thing was that Elijah had a feeling that it was.

“She and I were different,” He allowed. “I made a mistake with her, I will admit, but I wanted to make it work. I didn’t care about whether or not hair in a brush would bug me in ten years time. I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t thinking the entire time I was with her. It was as if she put my brain on freeze and I just acted instinctively. With her I have lost much more than her companionship I fear. No, I know I have. I just...I’ve lost more with her than I have ever and it hurts the same as it did when...” Elijah trailed off and ran his spare hand through his hair. “She’s cruel,” he murmured, “sadistic and unnecessary in her actions. I was naive – I still am – to trust her. She’s got my daughter, Rise. I feel as if every time I see her I’m banging against a brick wall, my breath short after trying to scale it so many times. She’s shut me out and she’s going to fill that little girl’s heads with falsehoods and exaggerations. She’ll paint me to be the villain and I am...” Elijah bit his lip. “I don’t believe myself to be one. She’s a woman scorned and nothing I say or do will make her forgive me. Is it truly too much to ask to be a part of my daughter’s life? She expects me to brush her off as a bastard – in fact; I honestly believe she wants me to. I can’t though, Rise. I would do anything to be able to father that girl but Chase won’t give me that opportunity.”

Biting his lip, Elijah lifted his eyes to meet Rise’s. He gave a heavy sigh at her words, knowing only a few of them to be true. He had his reasons for many things and they were scapegoats mostly. He didn’t want to have to explain himself to a stranger but he felt as if it was necessary – to make her see, to make her understand.

“I smoke and I drink for the satisfaction of knowing I am dying with every breath and every sip. I smoke and drink because I need it to deal with moments like these when I’ve hit rock bottom and there’s no point of return to the surface. I need it to cope. I need it because I know it works both ways. I know that not only does it help me survive but it also helps me die and for some reason beyond my own understanding of this vice...that reassures me. With sex comes the figurative and literal release I look for; not that you’d know much about that I expect. I’d be looking for a bed partner this time last year – the second of the evening no doubt. They help too. Nameless women supplying me with what I need and often,” Elijah gave a small smirk, “nameless men filling boots the women could only awkwardly slop around in. It’s all release for me, Rise, and quite frankly...it takes effort now. Well, not so much the sex if I...” Elijah trailed off and flushed before adding. “I feel as if I have been around the block a million times and now I’m sick of what I see. I don’t see the beauty I used to paint and take for my own at my leisure...I see the falsehoods that men and women alike are dressed up in and it makes me sick.”

“What’s worse is that I allowed myself to fall in love with that falsehood. I look around this city and I can only pluck beauty out of ferns. I have sat in houses of fashion and watched the runways in search of a muse but I have found none. I have driven myself crazy looking for something to keep my mind occupied and something to keep me sated. But then I glance in the mirror and I see how I have run myself ragged for my own lust. I don’t know who I am, Rise, that’s the problem. I see someone I despise and yet I cannot bring myself to figure out my own person. All I know is that for some inane reason I function on primal instincts. I function on sex and on my vices. I function that way because it is a coping mechanism...because the booze and the fags work both ways and because for that split second when I push her over the edge...I can see a little flare of love beyond the haze of lust. That’s what keeps me going...that indication...that need...and it’s pathetic.”

He was lost. He was scared. He was terrified in fact. Elijah looked at Rise and shook his head, as his chest heaved. Elijah squeezed Rise’s hands and gave her a small, sad smile. He was happy for her. He was glad she was stronger than he was. It took bravery to leave, to go out on her own and try to make her own way.

“Did you just call me handsome?” Elijah questioned with a dogged smile after she finished her description of him. “Why thank you, sweetheart. You’re very beautiful yourself, might I add?” Elijah smiled warmly at her...the first genuine smile he’d given her. “I think maybe...both.” He said thoughtfully. “An orphanage and a home for werewolves. There are two manors in Wales and two in Scotland that are rarely used. I’m sure they’d all appreciate it.” Elijah tapped Rise’s hands as he thought. “I might have to have a word with my father.”

Elijah looked at Rise with alarm as she sprang to his feet. He stuttered but found himself rising also. He fumbled with his wallet and opened it up, taking out a five pound note. He tossed it onto the table and gathered up his things before stuffing his wallet back into his pocket. He laughed a little and, feeling brave, he stole Rise’s hand and pulled her through the cafe and out onto the street.

“Where do you want to go?” He asked her, a carefree, involuntary smile on his face.

Rise knew that talking wasn't going to help him... she could see that in his face. In the hopeless look in his eyes, he didn't WANT to get better, he wanted to drown in his own self pity.. well she wasn't going to let him. If she could help it.. she would help him venture out and help him to get stronger if it killed her. He was kinda grossing her out a little bit too.. talking about sex so.. blatantly. Rise was very much a virgin, and had no idea what he was talking about. In fact she hadn't even had a first kiss, so she really had no idea what he was going on about about.. well any of it, so it didn't make much sense, but she got the meaning behind it.. He wanted sex to help make him feel the love he didn't have.. Rise frowned carefully, and watched him as he switched gears quickly. Ah.. so this was his coping mechanisms.. so she had tapped into that part of him.. now he was flirting.. Rise felt a smile tug at her lips. Obviously he had some problems that were going to take a lot of work to fix.. and Rise was determined to help him.

"Yes, you are handsome, and don't pretend that it's a new thing to you mister." She grumbled, but flushed none the less when he said she was pretty. She had never been called.. well anything before.. she actually had gotten very good at hiding, blending in and not looking very.. interesting.. so being called pretty, well it was new to her. Of course if she were to ask anyone, they would nod and smile, say that she was and move on.. but.. being called pretty? It was new, and it momentarily threw Rise off. But suddenly they were outside, and Rise found herself looking at the sky, it was getting almost rainy out, and that made Rise smile. "Perfect.." She muttered, and then looked up at Elijah. She needed to teach him a lesson, not a bad one, but to show him that his problems were far from the worst, before they had some fun. "Lets go this way." She said softly, and hand still in his, she pulled him down the road. Knowing his type, he had never actually been to any bad places in London. Never seen the people here.. especially on a rainy day. Lets just say.. Rise had.

"Come on, don't dwaddle.. they don't like people who just stand there looking stupid." She said simply, and dragged him down the street, keeping her eyes down for a bit, before she found herself glancing back at the boy she had in tow. He was broken.. and he needed to see something special to her. They were heading into the very darkest parts of London, the hidden alleys that had people who looked pretty.. rough. Muggles of all kinds came to stare at the two passing. Rise glanced around, and slowed to a slow walk, standing next to Elijah, and looking around. "See this..." She whispered, pointing around. "See these people.." she said gently, pointing at houses with boarded up windows, and children peeking between the boards. Pointing at dogs tied up outside of broken down houses, skinny and tired, panting in the humid air.

"These people.. every day.. they struggle to find food.. they struggle to find a kind face in a crowd of people who glare at them evilly.. the children here.. go to the park.. and perform.. so that they might get some change to bring back to their families.. You'd be surprised how many of the people in this area are witches and wizards... People who have the ability to do magic.. and yet.. they still struggle for food.. they struggle for kindness.. a lot of them are Slytherins..." She said softly, lowering her eyes. "Their parents fight... they are abused.. they take haven at Hogwarts, because it's away from this.. it's where they are fed well every day... aren't abused... aren't shamed... they get to be themselves at school.. and yet.. here... well you see why they aren't the nicest of people all the time..." She said softly, looking pointedly at a door that had just opened, and a man practically threw his son out of the door.

The boy he had thrown out looked to be no more then thirteen, and was clutching a wand to his chest. To anyone else it looked as though he had picked it up off the ground, but to fellow wizards, it was obvious he had just pulled it out of his pocket. Rise stopped, and stomped on the ground twice with her foot, and then clapped her hands. The boy stopped on the stomps and turned, and saw his friend, clapping and after a quick glance behind him, he left his front garden. The man who had thrown him out, stomped back into the house, and slammed the door. Rise did a quick handshake with the boy, and then started to sign, using sign language. The boy watched her hands, and then froze, looking up at Elijah with surprise, he signed something back and Rise nodded, before turning back to Elijah. "He wants your autograph.." She said with a grin. "He.. erm.. looks up to your family.. and erm, well.. gets hope I guess." She said softly, glancing at the deaf boy next to her, was looking up at Elijah with wide eyes.