Catching Butterflies

Chase stood on the grounds of Hogwarts, net in hand, staring at a butterfly that was on a leaf not two inches from her face. She had crawled along the ground, snuck up on the beautiful butterfly, and was moments away from catching it. Something in Chase had changed over the past few days. Ever since she had told Andrew she couldn't date him anymore. She felt like a whole new person. Albeit she felt a little bit more.. evil towards the world. She could no longer trust, and those she did trust.. well. The one person she did trust was Elijah, an odd choice, but she had to put her trust somewhere and it was with him it belonged. He was her best friend, and he had never taken advantage of her. Ever.

She could kiss him, and all he would do is hold her tighter, she could sob, and twist in pain in the rain, coughing racking her body, tearing her apart, but still, he held her, never letting her go. Her best friend, and she knew he didn't like her like that, even though, now that she was free, her feelings were growing. Why couldn't Andrew ever be like that? It was all sex for him! That's all it had ever been, and she knew it now. He only liked her body, and he barely knew a thing about her! Did he even know her favorite animal? Elijah did. He even had a nickname for her now! He called her Fen, and it made Chase feel special, something that connected only them.

Andrew hadn't even been able to touch Chase when pain had torn through her body, leaving her useless to the nightmares, but Elijah.. he had held her, let her squeeze his hand so hard it had bled, and still, he stayed by her side. Her feelings were growing with each moment they were by each others side. Of course, he had other girls, she knew this, he was a 'player' in people's eyes. He didn't settle, and Chase knew now, either did she. They were like the butterflies that stood before her nose. Free, and beautiful, and they could do whatever they wanted now!

She took a slow deep breath, and lunged. The butterfly trapped beneath the net. She smiled and grabbed a jar from beside her. Carefully, without touching the butterfly, she emptied it into the jar, and closed the lid, poking holes in the top, and looking in at the insect. A stick was propped against the side, leaves were in the bottom, and a caterpillar climbed the stick to the top, munching on the leaves. Chase smiled and sat back on the grass, her net laying in front of her. She was Chase yes, but there was a somewhat different twist to her smile, that almost made it a smirk as she watched the butterfly tap against the glass of the jar.

Andrew walked outside, feeling more angry than anything else. He had thought he was going insane, letting his only love out into the world with everyone else. He would fight the entire world if he had to in order to keep her away from all the people who would want to hurt her. Or use her. He was on a mission now, to finally end the entire ordeal that had risen slowly but threateningly. He wasn't going to find Chase for more 'no's. This had to be the end of the line...or else.

Andrew continued his search, looking determined and strong. He had looked back in his life and realized how much of a wimp he had been acting life. If he wanted to be in charge, he had to earn it! His first step would be towards his ex girlfriend Chase. He wasn't going to let her slip from his fingers, not after all they had been through. He wasn't going to end up like Daniel. He wasn't going to let her go.

After asking a couple of students, he finally found her standing out on the grounds with a butterfly net. This was it. He approached her and had a strong determination in his eyes. "Chase," he said in his usual deep tone, all traces of sorrow one "I need to talk to you." He sounded more mad actually. He held his hands down to his sides, his hands flat and calm. He did not shake at all. his stance was tall and his shoulders up high. He almost looked like a statue really.

Chase looked up from her jar, and saw Andrew. She felt a pang in her heart, but she ignored it now. "Talk away dearest." She said calmly, turning her attention back to the butterfly, which was now attempting to beat itself free of the lid, sensing freedom beyond it. She watched it struggle for a moment, and then it fluttered to the bottom of the jar, and flapped its wings calmly, it's antennas poking around it, finding the caterpillar, and examining the other insect.

"Do you think it knows that it was like that once? A caterpillar, eating to survive, and then going into it's shell, to become something even more beautiful?" She asked softly, holding the jar eye level. "I think everyone does that.." She said wistfully. "At one point or another, people go through something in their lives, and undergo a change, that changes them from what they were... the caterpillar, to what they are meant to be... A butterfly." She said softly and then looked up at him. "Sounds poetic huh?" She giggled lightly and returned her attention back to the jar, but then found her eyes drawn to look up at him again.

Something was... odd about Andrew, the way he stood, the way he stared at her with an emotion Chase couldn't quite place. She slowly stood up, grabbing her net on the way up, staring at him, the jar held loosely in her hand. "Is there something wrong Andrew?" She asked slowly, her eyes curious and somewhat guarded, "You look a little.. tense.." she said, taking a step towards him, but freezing in spot. "Friends, Chase.. friends, don't make this harder on yourself then it already is! Feel the pang? It's going away! Just let him talk and go on with your life! It's for the best."

"Chase I don't want to be just friends anymore," he said, his voice sounding more demanding than a suggestion. "I'm tired of this, how we have to pretend that we are both friends and that everything will be fine. We both know that we are going to be insanely mad if we are in the arms of another, why do we bother?" He was not in the mood for other suggestions.

"Chase," he said again, his eyes still keeping their strong stance "we both need to stop beating around the bush and just admit that we need to go out again. I'm not going to beg you for us to go out again, its now or never."

Chase stood, the jar in one hand, the net in the other, her wand was tucked behind her ear, and here Andrew was, holding his ground, saying go out with me or else?! What kind of person did that anyway? Go out with him? The one who had dropped her on her ass, left her hanging, left her to cry, left her to fend for herself, in a dangerous world, playing a dangerous game. Demons who wanted her dead, a school full of mad Death Eaters, a best friend who was no longer a best friend. The good times were completely blocked out in her head.

Chase held out her hands to her sides, staring at him. "Insanely mad? Do I look insanely mad about whatever your decisions are? Obviously I don't even know what you are doing these days, and I find, I don't really care." She said glaring at him. Delicate flower, torn pedals, plucked off, but regrowing, one by one, she could feel the pedals falling off again. One by one, she was falling apart again. NO! Chase squared her shoulders, stared at Andrew.

"Beat around what bush? I see no bushes here Andrew!" She said gesturing around with the net, afraid to shake up the jar to much. "Obviously I've learned I can live without you, sure it took a hell of a long time, but I had a good friend by my side the entire time!" She said staring at him, and she dropped her net on the ground before she broke it. She pulled the jar to her chest and stared at him, an odd fire in her eyes.

"Who do you think you are dealing with now Andrew? Do I look like the innocent little Chase you knew before? The one who was upset that a Vampire liked her? The one who was still in emotional pieces because her family is dead! Do I look like her anymore? Andrew, my tears are used up! I've cried for the last time!" She stared at him with an odd burning fever rising in her cheeks, making them look quite red, but not in a blushing way, more angry.

"I've lost weight because of you, do you know how many times I've had to duck into spare classrooms because the pains in my scars have come back? Now or Never Andrew, please, explain to me, Tell me a few reasons I should go back to the one who obviously feels no problems at dropping me on my face at one of the happiest moments in my life! Explain to me why I should go back to you, when I had to find friendship in the most unlikely of places, cigarettes, booze, and Slytherins. Guess how many Slytherin friends I have now? Guess how many nights I've spent in the kitchens, guzzling down chocolate, and my body refuses to register that there was a change in diet, I can't gain weight back Andrew, I look like I'm about to die, don't you think!" She pulled down her shirt collar and showed him the jutting collar bone.

"So please, explain to me why I should go back to you, when obviously, I found I can live perfectly fine with Elijah Krum?" She said spitting the last words out, hissing them like a Slytherin would, sneering in his face. "I'm not longer the caged butterfly Andrew...." She said softly, and then lifted the jar up, and opened the top. The butterfly flew out and into the open air, disappearing after a moment. "I think you need to understand that I need to be free." She said, her words a bit more gentle.

"Chase answer me this," he said, anger in his eyes "you talk and talk about me not caring that I had dumped you. Why did I come back and talk to you? Why was I so hurt when I heard that you loved Elijah? I was torn when I had to break up wit you, I thought I was doing you good to keep you away from the things I fight! To spare you of any pain!"

He kept himself strong, but could feel the anger in her start to intimidate him. It wasn't that he was afraid of her, but rather didn't want to harm her even more. And anger never helped that. "I realize that you have been hurt Chase..." He said again, more softly this time "I realize the pain you have went through. I want to be there at your side to help you through them. I don't trust any other guy though, they may just do it to get to you, then leave you hanging!" A sharp pain rolled through him. That was exactly what he did.

"I will do the unbreakable vow with you if I have to that once we are together again, I will never make you go through this pain again." He said in a serious tone "I will be willing to kill to make sure that you are alright! I will do anything to be with you again! To have you in my arms again...I want to be able relieve you of your sorrow!"

Andrew kept himself strong and toke a step forward. He meant buisness but he was trying to as calm as possible. "I want you to see that I am willing to do anything for you. My soul even belongs to you."

Chase glared at him and then took a small step backwards when he came towards her. "Andrew..." She said suddenly, her hand held out, she put the jar down, the butterfly gone, but the caterpillar still inside. Is that what she had been all along? She wasn't the butterfly, not yet.. she was still the caterpillar, trying to get itself prepared, for when it did get to go through it's transformation. She was the pedals of the flower, the ones that had fallen off. She wasn't the flower itself, that was for someone else. She was the pedals, laying forgotten on the ground.

"Andrew, no unforgivable vows, none of that!" She said shaking her head. "We are teenagers Andrew! Hormones rage through our bodies, make us do crazy things. No!" She said holding her hand up to stop any interruptions. "Andrew, I am not ready to settle down with someone! Sure, it'll kill me inside to see you holding another girl's hand, it'll kill me to see you kissing someone else. But Andrew! We have to grow up! I'm a model! I have a place in the muggle world, waiting for me once I leave the gates of Hogwarts for the last time. Elijah knows this, he's a painter for Merlin's sake!" She stood her ground now, not taking her eyes off of Andrew.

"We are not yet old enough to talk about love, and hate, we shouldn't have done all the things we did, and I regret them Andrew! YES! I regret them! I'm a stupid teenager who has gotten in over her head in things I shouldn't have bothered with! I know this now, when I look at you, prepared to sign your life away, how do you know you won't see another girl, who is ten times prettier then me, has a pure heart of gold, and is perfect for you?" She could feel her hands starting to shake, but she clenched her fists and went on.

"Andrew, we're idiots! It's all we are! We fight for each other, then push each other away, want to learn a little something about me Andrew? I don't like sex! I don't like.. I don't like the cologne you wear! You're opinions towards house elves are idiotic, and you're bathroom smells like moldy socks!" She stared at him for a long moment, her chest heaving, but she went on. "I don't want to know you just because I know your body! I don't even know what town you were born in, I haven't met your family! For Merlin's sake, we knew each other for a summer, we got to know each other, and now it's time to face reality!" She said and stomped hard with her right foot, nearly missing the jar with the caterpillar in it. She stooped down, picked up the jar and let the caterpillar go on a tree.

"Jack hates me because of what happened, I see her in class, she scowls at me, and moved across the room to sit somewhere else... I have a mug of hot chocolate in my dorm, that when I start thinking to much, I take one drink of it.. and feel happy again... chocolate... the true sign that a girl is feeling upset, but did you know that? I don't know anything about you Andrew, you were a summer romance, it was great while it lasted, but it's time to grow up!" She said and threw the jar down, it crashed into the grass, and broke into many pieces. She ignored it and stared straight at Andrew, her eyes on fire.

Some parts of what she had said had stung, yet it wasn't enough to bring Andrew down. He toke in what she said and realized that she did have a point. They barely knew anything about one another. Barely. Not nothing. "Chase you never asked me about any one of those things!" He replied "if you asked me 'when can I meet your parents' or 'can you stop wearing that colenge, I would've answered them and I would've something about the smell! We didn't tell each anything else after we met, and here we are now. Maybe if we toke the time and actually tried, we could go on from there!"

He was fired up on and he wasn't going to stop until he won. It wasn't a game anymore, it was war. "And if we both actually toke the time to improve one another, we could still continue on! And it wasn't just a summer romance, you knew what you were getting into. You can't just throw it all away and say 'I'm done'. It doesn't work that way. And you also just can't say that we need to grow up. We are at war Chase! We need to enjoy all the time we get before we regret wasting it! And we are not hormone ridden teenagers, we are almost 20 for merlins sake! That parts over!"

Andrew, at that point, didn't want to fight. Fighting wasted energy and time. Changing everything was more beneficial. "And also, who's to say you won't meet another guy huh? What will happen then? Will everything just repeat? Who's to say, we are not fortune tellers! Who's to say I will die in the next three seconds huh? Who? I would like to meet this person!"

Chase was fuming now, she took a step away from him, and then turned away completely, her face red and blotchy from the anger she felt inside of her. "I knew what I was getting into?" She cried out, spinning around and throwing her hands up in the air in exasperation. "I knew? I was heart broken Andrew! I had just lost my family! I was half mad with grief, and you were the first living thing that showed me sympathy, had it been anyone else, it would have worked out the same way and you know it! I was looking for something to fill the hole my family had been in, and you were the one who did that for a while." She said putting her hand over her heart.

"Who's to say I can't say I'm done? I"m done will all your bullshit, I'm done with feeling like I can't even leave the house without getting your permission first! I'm done with not being able to smoke, or drink, or do anything like I've been doing ever since we broke up!" She pulled at her hair and stared at him in agony, she looked half mad right there, and with her white shirt, it almost looked like she was in a straight jacket.

"Almost twenty!" Chase laughed aloud. "I'm not even eighteen yet Andre,w that isn't even close to twenty! I still have three years to go! You have even more! You're younger then me! FOUR YEARS! That's a bit of a long shot from twenty if you ask me!" She said letting her hands fall to her sides, her hands clenched into fists.

Chase stared at him when he started rambling off about fortune tellers, but then she shot back. "You already have met him Andrew Thompson!" She said angrily. "His name is Elijah Krum, and he is ten times the man you will ever be!" She shouted and pulled at her hair again, spinning around to face away from him, angry tears pricking her eyes. "We are teenagers Andrew, you're only sixteen years old! I'm sick of it, I'm sick of having to pretend that I don't care, because sure, I do care about you, but I don't want anything with you like what we had before, I want to be friends, before we are dating. I want to get to know YOU Andrew.. not your body.. not the part that doesn't even know how to comfort a girl when they cry!"

Chase moved up so she was right in his face. "Leave me alone Andrew! I don't want anything to do with you anymore." She said her face inches from his, but not in a kissing way, more like she was so angry she was forcing herself not to hit him.

Why was she so insistent on hurting him? It was pointless to even try. He was hurt enough already...what would it change. Nothing. He thought there had been a chance to save things...to keep things secure. Now he was an idiot. All this fighting and for what? Nothing. And if he had won, what would happen? Nothing. Nothing.

So that was when andrew made his decision. It was never. "Fine Chase," he said, feeling defeated "ill stay away. Just remember me like you did before. Not some idiot like you know now." He wanted to leave, yet his les were planted there. He didn't want to yet he knew it was for the better. He didn't need all the drama. This was his way out now...

But he couldn't leave Chase the way his was. Girlfriend or not, she was still a friend. He wasn't going to be like that. "I'm sorry Chase...I regret everything that has happened." How had everything turned to the way it did? It stung...really bad and he tried to hide it. He didn't want to show her weakness...not now.

He sighed and turned on the spot. "Hopefully this won't be the last time you see me..." He said and toke a step forward. Foot after foot, he continued, not looking back. He didn't need her...he needed to focus on school. And life. He needed to talk to his friends again. This was a new step for Andrew.