Shacklebolts review of the tasks!
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Shacklebolts review of the tasks! Li9olo10

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Shacklebolts review of the tasks!

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Post by Kingsley Shacklebolt Tue Dec 22, 2009 12:07 pm

For your first and last posts I award points on three stuff. They add up to six in total.

Spark. Spark? Yes Spark. thats my word for stories or roleplays that are very interesting, they have spark. I don't like boring long roleplays that are full of stupid muse. It has to be: funny, interesting, action packed. 2 points

Level of Roleplay. Well thats what its called I guess. This is length of your roleplay, the punctuation, grammar and other stuff. By other stuff I mean if its appropriate to the task, if the roleplay post is nice and clear. For example, though your RP doesn't need conversations, only Shacklebolt likes to converse with himself, it should have your characters thoughts. Perhaps your character likes conversing with himself in his/her mind. Thats all good. Also, your post has to follow the guidelines. 3 points

Creativity. Of course, your posts can't be borrowed off Goblet of Fire. I want to see some creativity in your obstacles and mazes. You can take stuff like the point me spell, but taking both the spider and the skrewt just ruins it. 2 points

Then theres the riddle, which is 3 points. It was a confusing riddle, and a difficult one too. It had more to do with the wording than anything else. Basically, it wasn't a riddle, it was a paradox, based on the barbers paradox I think. Except they worded it a bit differently so it actually had an answer. And it was a simple and easy answer, stupid.I don't exactly think they should have done that. However, I will give you all points based on your answer, and the explanation of it

Im not gonna mark the last part of the roleplay

ADEN WILLIAMS

Disqualified I guess, or pending. Ah well.

CHRISTABELLE WHITTLE

Roleplay
SPARK: Your roleplay was 913 words. In those paragraphs, I was able to keep attention well through out the whole roleplay. Good job. The first two paragraphs weren't exactly entertaining, but they were good because of Christabelles thoughts. I liked the action part as well, it was too the point. No very long descriptions. There was some lacking in intensity, but overall the roleplay was very interesting. 2/2

LEVEL: So the length of the roleplay would probably be called the perfect length. There was a total of 6 paragraphs, so 150 per paragraph. You took 2 paragraphs for the entrance to the maze, 1 for the sphinx and 3 for the obstacles, all pretty good. The paragraphs were relatively well separated, and to the point. I really liked how Christabelle converses with herself in her mind, so extra points for that. However, you did not exactly follow the guidelines all that well, the obstacles were of logic and intelligence, and only the anti gravity mist was of logic. So a total of 2.5/3

CREATIVITY
As I said, action parts were nice and to the point, but they were all from Goblet of Fire. In your defense, Christabelle approached them differently, but I think you could have invented your own obstacles. 0.75/2

The Riddle

Your answer to the riddle was time healed the healer, and your explanation was that it was not specified how long the healer is sick for and that he could be sick for a day in which case time would heal him. I have to say, the last part 'Also the healer only cured people who couldn't cure themselves' was confusing. What do you mean by that? Overall, I liked your answer, but it wasn't altogether well explained. So 2/3

Your overall score is 7.25 out of 10. A relatively good score. You could have improved on following guidelines more, explaining more, and creating better obstacles.

ABBEY DAWN


Roleplay

SPARK: Okay, your post was 822 words long, slightly short, but good enough. I liked your ideas for the roleplay. The burning thing and the dizzyness were both good. But the time thing, brilliant. Abbey didn't deal with the obstacles too well, had she explained the time more, I would have given a 3/2, it was that good. You could have done a lot with that, but you didn't. It was relativelt interesting, and was quite intense at times, but lost the intensity at other times. So 1/2


LEVEL: It had a total of 6 paragraphs, with two monster ones and 4 short ones. They were divided well enough, though not overly well. You didn't spend to much time getting into the maze, so thats good, and you didn't say much about the sphinx either, which is both a good thing and a bad thing. The worst thing about your roleplay was that Abbey didn't handle her obstacles that well, they just stopped. Had she done something, i would have given a bonus point. Your character too has a lot of thoughts, which is good. You followed the guidelines well. 2.25/3

CREATIVITY: As I said, your ideas were good. Though some weren't well explained, and not really tied to logic or intelligence. 1.5/2

THE RIDDLE: Other people can heal the healer if they know how. Your answer was the best, because I can't find whats wrong with it. I guess its right then, and your character explained it rather well too. Intelligent answer! Just one thing, 2.75/3

So, a total of 7.5 out of 10. Your roleplay was to the point, your ideas were good, and your answer to the riddle was the best of them all, however your character didn't deal with the obstacles well at all, and thats why you lost so many points.


SELWYN THORFIN

SPARK: It was long. I don't think you needed it to be that long, lots of muse. Besides some paragraphs though, it was pretty interesting. Point me should have been used by everyone really, only you used it, which is good. I liked your character, lots of thoughts, conversations, blah blah. I LOVED some of your ideas, though one was quite silly. But really, the last one was brilliant. Sometimes though, I got quite bored of reading it. 1.5/2

LEVEL: As I said, long, more than twice as big as the other ones, 2379 words to be exact. Seeing as 1200-1600 are what I'd call a good amount, you passed this a little bit, but atleast you didn't have less, like the others. You didn't have paragraphs like the others, well you did, but obviously in a different format, which I liked. Your thoughts and character were nice, and the ideas were too. The roleplay was nicely divided into various obstacles. Also, it was humorous, unlike the others. Big bonus point for the description of the maze, which the others didn't do. Normally I would give a 3/3 but because of that: 3.5/3

CREATIVITY: Gotta say, your ideas were the best of them all. The way your character handled the obstacles was awesome too. 2/2

THE RIDDLE: Okay I had no idea what the hell your character was thinking here. You had a good answer "I am to assume that somebody else healed him, yes?" Which would have worked had you explained it. Instead you said "The healer healed himself" and explained it quite oddly... Oh well. 1.75/3


Your total is 8.5 out of 10. The length could have been shortened by about 300-400 words, as your post was boring to read at times. You could have explained your answer more as well. Your post was the most humorous as well.

So the the points I give are:

SELWYN FOR SLYTHERIN: 8.75
ABBEY FOR HUFFLEPUFF 7.5
CHRISTABELLE FOR RAVENCLAW 7.25
ADEN FOR GRYFFINDOR 0

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Kingsley Shacklebolt

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