Feeling more human and hooked on her flesh I Lay my heart down with the rest at her feet

Three months ago, deciding to let her go was the smartest decision one could think of. Letting her leave him hoping she'll find someone better, someone more suitable than him to care for. It should have been easy. It sounded easy, yet since the very same moment, she closed the door of his apartment he wished she'll come back. That she'll return and give him the opportunity to say just how sorry he is for acting the same way he did. Maybe even to tell her all the reasons behind his decision. To tell her just how much he'd like he can simply undo some of his previous choices so that he could become a man she thinks he is. If he only had the courage to do it.

But he never did.

Three months ago, he promised to himself he won't seek for her, won't take a part in her life anymore. She had enough of things going on in her life besides him, and he couldn't let himself being a burden to her, which in his eyes, he already was.

Not seeing her for three months was more painful than he wanted to admit. He liked to tell himself that he was doing great, that he did the right thing, that everything was just how it supposed to be.

Why was Sebastien O'Sullivan standing in front of her door, then?

His first reaction after he found out that Barbara still hasn't come home was to go to see Lilyanya Faulkner, instead of contacting Keiran or any other member of the Hogwarts staff to find out where exactly his daughter is. In his still shocked state, Lilyanya was the only person who could help him. The only one who'll know what to do.

That is, if she wants to see him ever again.

Hoping she could help him, he knocked.

"Anya, it's me," he said to her doors, hoping she's in here able to hear him, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't bother you but…. Barbara… she's missing." His voice broke down on the last word.

@Lilyanya Faulkner

Lilyanya had been doing the same things for three months since she left Sebastien's home. She didn't want to leave his home, she felt that she was intruding though. So for the last three months she'd been doing the same things she would do normally, but she hadn't felt like herself. She sometimes would remember a memory so strongly that she could hear Barbara's laughter and feel her hugs. A few times she had went to his apartment to try and talk to him, but she could never catch him when he was home.

She felt like what was left of her heart was being shattered, she began thinking that he was avoiding her. She wanted so badly to see him, he was the one person she knew she could always go to. She always loved talking with him and hugging him, to take in his scent. To her it smelled like the forest and rain, to her it was the best smell in the world.

Now she sat in her bedroom feeling like she was empty, she was holding a picture in her hands of her and Sebastien. It was from when they were in school, they were in the library. She was laughing and he had a little hint of a smile on his face as they were sitting near a window.

She grabbed the second photo from the bed, it was one of her and Barbara. They were sitting on the front porch of Sebastien's home, she loved this one of them together. She loved both Barbara and Sebastien more than anything, she knew that she should have gone to his house and demanded that he see her. She knew it wasn't that simple though, sometimes it take a little while.

She heard a knock on her door and furrowed her brow in confusion. She set both photos back on her night stand and stood, smoothing out her skirt made her way to the front door.

She was about ten feet away when she heard Sebastien's voice through the door. She lifted a hand to her mouth, she ran the last part to the door and opened it wrapping her arms around him. She pulled away to look at him, "Don't ever be sorry for coming to me. I know she's missing, I've been trying so hard to figure out what happened. Somehow someone made the student compartments into a portkey. I walked the entire track from platform 9 3/4 to attempt to find any answers, but I haven't found anything." She said softly running hand through her hair softly. "Please come in." She moved away from the door and waited for him to walk in. "I've been so worried about her that I spend most of the night and sometimes day pacing."

It felt weird hugging her after a handful of months without seeing her at all. If he could return the time three months back, he wouldn't push her away ever again but, at the same time, he was glad he did it. This way he could think about all the things he was afraid avoiding for quite some time. If Lilyanya was around he'd somehow find a way to blame her for everything he was feeling and ruin their relationship even more. Yes, he could have still bumped into her at Hogwarts, but with castle having more than plenty of space avoiding her wasn't a pretty difficult task, especially since O'Sullivan was determined to completely exclude himself from her life.

Hah, determined enough? Bastien though still holding her in his embrace. Obviously not so much. If he was huggging someone else the hug would turn awkward long time ago, but since it was Anya he didn't feel embrassed after finally letting her go.

"Merlin, I missed you." It was all he said, but at the same time, it was the most important thing he wanted her to know.

"I had nowhere else to go."

It wasn't really true. Although he'd get lectured for ignoring his brother's letters for over a year he knew he'd be welcome at Christian's, as well as at Jenna's. Sebastien just couldn't say he was ready to see any of them again. Especially now. "I should have been on that train with her. I was supposed to be on that train, yet I had to leave Hogwarts earlier since the moon was almost full." He passed by her and walked nervously towards the window, gazing through it but not seeing anything due to late hour and mist outside. "I found out she didn't return home a day later. A whole day later! Not only that I was completely incapable of saving my daughter, I didn't even knew t the students might need saving." He turned around and looked at Lilyanya with look of pure horror in his eyes.

"What if something bad had happened to her? What if it is too late?"

She couldn't believe that he was here, she had missed him terribly. She didn't think that she would see him again, considering he avoided her at Hogwarts often. Just being able to put her arms around him now, she felt like she was dreaming even though she knew she wasn't. She knew that he had been avoiding her since she had left and she wanted to give him as much time as he needed.

"I've missed you too." She said softly, she closed her eyes for a moment.

"Your always welcome here Sebastien."

She looked at him as he talked and could tell that he was upset with himself. "Sebastien it wasn't your fault. You had to leave because of the moon, I was there on the train with her. She was safe, I had checked on her an hour before the students went missing." She watched him at the window listening to his voice. "Sebastien it isn't your fault. Whoever did this wasn't expecting to get caught until it was too late. If anyone is to blame of not being able to save her, it's me. I was there the entire time and I didn't know that anything was wrong. I wish that I had been in the students area of train when it disappeared." She said looking at him.

"Nothing bad has happened to her and it's not too late." She walked up to him and put her hands on either side of his face. "We will find her Sebastien, I won't give up until she's home. I'll use whatever I can to find her, even if that means breaking a few rules." She said honestly. "She is like the daughter I'll never have Sebastien, I love her that much." She drops her hands away and walks towards the middle of the room. "I feel like this is all my fault because I wasn't there to save her. That I didn't notice that she was gone, that I didn't do enough." She said, before sitting down in a chair with her head in her hands.