Butterflies, Bees, and Filthy Cockroaches

Marriage was.. a whole lot like not being married.

Max had (repeatedly) testified to Gabby that being Jack Dyllan's husband really didn't make him want to claw his eyes out or jump off a bridge or set himself on fire. Marriage was.. comfortable.

Life had continued on. The world had not stopped turning. Really, the whole situation was exactly what he had been hoping for when he had 'proposed' that day in the elevator. If anything, they didn't have enough time together. He and Jack were both busy with work, Charlie was in and out of the house at unpredictable times, and Sunny had school during the days. It had become a rare evening for the four of them to all be together and when the occasion came it had become all the more precious.

Being a member of the Dyllan family was no longer startling to think about - it was just natural. Max couldn't disregard his feelings of protection for the three girls as a result of living together anymore. He genuinely loved each one. Charlie was the little sister he missed, Sunny was the daughter he always dreamed of, and Jack was.. Jack.

Jack was his wife without being his wife. His best friend without being his best friend. She was security, danger, confusion, clarity. He couldn't deny he loved her but it was different from the rest of them. She was just Jack.

The family needed this day out. Charlie was with friends but the other three had scooped up the opportunity to take a trip to Hogsmeade village and do a little shopping. The trio made their way into a bookstore where they dispersed to their respective aisles. In no time Max had been drawn to the section dedicated to muggle literature and picked up a worn-out university science textbook that he began flipping through with interest.

After a few minutes Max heard Jack call for Sunny. Once. Twice. Relatively unconcerned, (disappearing was somewhat of a habit for the young girl), Max made his way to the front of the store where he found Jack calling out for her niece again. One look at her face and Max knew this wasn't a drill. His book dropped to the counter and in the flash the surrogate parents were out on the streets, panic in their eyes as they wildly searched for their small girl.

It took a moment for Max to notice her at his height. His eyebrows shot up in panic and he froze in place, hand reaching out towards the stranger as Sunny was set on the ground. She bounded to a butterfly unharmed and Max looked to his partner in relief.

Jack did not look relieved. Quite the opposite. Without so much as a glance at him, Jack took off down the street to retrieve Sunny, throwing her back at Max in a way that kicked his 'protective-daddy-mode' into full gear. The Hufflepuff wrapped his arms around Sunny, holding her into his chest as he watched with horror as Jack punched the stranger in the face.

Then the man spoke and the slow gears in Max's brain registered that he must not be a stranger. "Just.. hear me out." Max knew the look on Jack's face and it was not one that was preparing to listen. Her expression most closely resembled the time they had faced the boggart - a disturbing thought. Max suddenly became unwilling to let Sunny go or bring the small girl any closer to the stranger.

"Jack?" his voice was timid. Quiet and shaky compared with the clear articulation of the other man. It was a question but the name contained the slightest hint of a command, invisible to all but those who knew him intimately. The man wanted to explain? Max needed her to. And the stranger was right about one thing - Jack looked very capable of becoming a murderer right now.

"What was that for?" Jack said, her voice rising. She repeated it, her volume rising as her words resonated through her chest, practically rumbling the air around them. "What was that for?" She could not believe the audacity it took for him to ask the question. "It was for showing your face! It was for having the nerve to still be alive, you CRETIN! You COCKROACH!"

Rage coursed through her veins in a way they had not since she had come into a sterile looking room to see her best friend covered in blood, gasping for air, while her creation stood above and boldly took the credit. The last time she had felt this, she had fired a killing curse, her one and only, had thrown herself and the fiend out the window, practically killing them. Felix was not as terrible as Vito, had not done all Vito had, but Jack had failed to avenge her friend then. And Jack did not like failure.

He spoke, trying to clear his name and Jack once again invaded his space, gritting her teeth as she nearly headbutted him. "Don't you dare make excuses for yourself. Don't you dare give yourself credit. Should I be happy you didn't kill her? Great job, Barker, you didn't just murder. Let's give you a f*cking medal and a key to the city for a job well f*cking done."

Sunny couldn't help it. She looked up at Max. "Can I say that word?"

Felix again tried to speak again, as though she were the one who wasout of control. No. She was very much in control of the situation. She demonstrated by pulled her wand up and pressing it against his chest, aimed for the heart. "Here's the problem with that, Barker. You've already made me capable of killing. And I don't care whether or not youd rather die, there were plenty who would have preferred that option. Wouldn't they?"

It was the voice that stopped her. She could have shoved her wand through his chest right there, she was certain. She had enough wrath, cause, and will to do it right there. And if not, one more killing curse. Who would miss him? Who would notice his disappearance. But the voice reminded her that she had an audience. Max and Sunny. Two people who looked to her to know that the world was safe and good. And even if killing Felix Barker would make the world safer and better, at what cost if it made her the monster so big that it killed other monsters?

She slowly turned, making eye contact with Max. He was trying to steady her, trying to anchor her. She did not want to be brought down from this anger high. She wanted to remain angry enough to kill. But she knew she could not in front of her six year old niece, in front of her kind husband. But they had to know that she was not the insane one. That this man deserved hell or worse.

She turned back to Felix and suddenly grabbed at her own neck. She was shoving a golden chess piece into his face, attached to a golden chain. The chain cut and bit into her neck as she forced it in the man's face. She spoke with diction, quiet enough to be a threat, loud enough to be heard by Max. "I gave this necklace to Chase Moor. My best friend. And she died. Because someone had wrecked her mind after months of torture and abuse. She could not defend herself. She walked into danger because she was told that was all she could learn to expect from this world. She was long gone before Vito took her. You took her from me, from her husband, from her child, from everyone who loved her. And I'll be damned if I don't make sure you are taken too."

She wanted him dead and that was scaring her. Jack often went after what she wanted. She took a step back, growling in frustration. She approached Max and rooted herself in front of him, where he could stop her from terrifying Sunny. She turned back to Felix. "You get a free pass to live. Today. Enjoy it. You won't be able to for long."

Felix had heard anger before in his life, it wasn't a new emotion for him to feel, and be on the receiving end of. However, for the first time in his life, had truly felt threatened by this woman. This woman who was bristling with anger and hatred. This woman had hoped to talk to.. to reason with.. to explain the situation to. She was having none of it, and Felix felt despair grip his heart. She shouted so loudly he couldn't help but look around and make sure there was no one in the vicinity. If there was, well, he'd have to make a hasty exit, however he saw no one, so he turned back to the raging woman in front of him.

Her face was so close to his he nearly fell backwards as she spoke, and he stammered out a fearful sentence. "I-I wasn't making... making any excuses.. just.. making sure.. sure she's okay.. now." He gasped, feeling her wand poke into his chest with such force it almost took his breath away. "Jack.. please.. just.. hear me out.. please?" He gasped, his gaze turning to the man behind her as he spoke. Such a simple word, but it was enough to make Jack turn to look at him and Felix was able to take a breath for a moment, and try to steady his hands, which were shaking uncontrollably.

"That's why.. I'm here.." He whispered, staring at the chess piece that swung madly in front of his nose. So close he couldn't focus on it properly. "Jack.. please.. I want you to know... please just listen! I want you to know how truly and completely sorry I am for the pain and torment I caused to Chase Moor. I feel her pain every day... I feel her anguish, I feel your fury and your sorrow..." His words were fast, but heated and with a fiery honesty that made his eyes well with tears and his fists clench.

"I can never make up for your loss.. Ever. I will never be able to, but I want you to know... I feel no pleasure in the pain I've caused... I feel no happiness, I only wish I could do something to make up for the pain that I caused to you and her family... Jack Dyllan... I give my most.. sincere apology to you and to the remaining family of Chase Moor.. for my past actions.. for the sorrow my actions caused, and the anger you feel towards me.." He slowly looked up at Jack again, trying to keep eye contact with her as he spoke.

"Jack... I swear to you, I have changed... I only feel regret, sorrow, and guilt for my actions. If you wish to kill me, you may kill me and I will not hold it against you. I have nothing in this life to live for... the only thing keeping me alive is my need to let the family members and victims of my past... know how truly sorry I am for what I've done... for the damage I've caused." He was repeating himself, but he had no idea what else to say. He was terrified and sad, and pain was shooting through his abdomen again.

He winced and fell to his elbows in front of Jack, his forehead nearly touching the ground in front of her. "I do not expect you to forgive me... ever. For I do not deserve your forgiveness... I simply want you to know the deep remorse I feel for my actions." He said, his voice laced with pain now as he held back his shaking. If anything he did not want the poor young child to see a grown man cry, but he had tears sliding down his face as he looked up at Jack again, his arms wrapped around his stomach now as he sat in front of her. "I am sorry, Jack Dyllan... if I could only take back my actions..." He whispered and fell forward again, his forehead resting in the dirt as he sat, shaking and breathing hard as he awaited her judgement.

Once upon a time, in a time of hope, and a land of promise, Jack Dyllan had been reluctant friends with a pesky poltergeist named Vito Dee Symons. This poltergeist assured her, in his words and his actions, again and again, of his inability to do good, to be good. He made a convenant with all that was wrong to support the cruel and harm the innocent. He reminded the seventeen year old girl, only a girl then, that he would be her undoing, could be the undoing of anyone. He swore that hatred was his honey, pain was his pleasure. He promised that he only had capacity for evil, that any lapses into good were mistakes, and that, in the end, he would be a bringer of hatred, destruction, and death.

Jack had not believed him. She had not believed that there could be so little redemption in sin so potent. She swore, when she looked into Vito's eyes, that there had been depth. It had not just been a reflection of her own hope and good will, but that there had actually been light in those eyes. And she had committed herself to this cause, this nearly lost cause, before she even knew that she did not have a choice, that their destinies were woven in a bond of soul and heart, a bond of darkness and twisted pain. She had sworn to give second chances, to give mercy, to always choose the option with hope.

She had let Vito rest against her. She had carried him to his room. She had mended his injuries. She had protected his reputation. She had hidden him from her friends. She had chosen him over them. She had taken care of his business. She had smoothed his stormy words with an almost cruel amount of compassoion. She had trusted her own well being to him. She had defended him in battle. She had rescued him from certain death. She had learned to dance from him. She had almost dared to call him companion.

And he had murdered her best friend. In cold blood. Because he could.

Jack could not be merciful. Mercy had killed Chase Moor, the girl who's future had been brighter than her smile, who had faced hardship she had never even dreamed of. The girl who had been plagued with nightmares no more terrifying than bad grades had been given a waking, living nightmare. And her sanity and her life had been compromised by people who promised they could only bring destruction, people who had been given a second chance. Jack had given Vito a second chance, and he had used it to kill Chase.

And if Felix thought he could get a second chance, he had come to the wrong girl, on the wrong side of her life. Jack was full of love and compassion and concern - and it was for these very reasons that she wished to see Barker put in the ground.

He fell to the ground, in an attempt to look pathetic. He need not make a show for her. She knew him for the parasite he was, and this show made him look even stupider than she thought him. For he must be stupid if he thought that anything short of his death could possibly assuage her. It was not just for Chase. It was for everyone. For the lives he ruined, the families he destroyed, the peace he broke. The wizarding world had become a more cruel, more jaded place because of him. And Jack could not forgive anymore, because she had become cruel and jaded with it.

She looked back to Max and then back to Felix. He was still groveling. She had to speak. She knew. She looked at Sunny, the picture of sweetness and innocence. Sunny, who believed there was good in everyone, believed that everyone on this earth had been placed on it to make her a happier girl. Max, who had only done what he could to make this world a bit better. Their kind, concerned faces gave her the courage to say what she had to say next. She gave them both kind smiles and turned back to Felix, looking upon him.

She approached slowly and kneeled next to him. She placed a gentle hand upon his head and lowered her own next to him. Her words were soft, and so quiet, the two of them could barely hear. Max and Sunny would not be able to hear. Her lips nearly touched his ear as she turned her head, her hand still gracefully touching his head, keeping him where he was so he heard every last whispered word.

"You can pay me back by dying. If you felt my sorrow, you would have done it long ago. And if you ever. Ever. Get near my family again... I will burn you. I will gut you. I will make it so you never even existed. Do you understand, Felix Barker?"

Felix could feel tears leaking down his nose, splashing on the ground and turning the dirt to mud below his face. He didn't bother moving though, he was afraid.. no he was terrified that even one wrong movement might cause a killing curse to be sent his way. He had his eyes closed, he could feel his heart beating. He started to count his heartbeats, wondering which one would be the last. Is this how his victims felt? The anger and hatred above them.. unable to do anything more then shake and cry?

Felix heard her footsteps, soft against the ground, his nose was touching the ground, and he could feel every single vibration she caused, feeling the slight tremors in the earth as she came nearer. He awaited his death.. he anticipated it. He felt her hand on the back of his head, and she knelt down, her lips so near his ear he stopped breathing so he didn't shake too badly.

Her words cut like knives, sharper then any physical instrument could be. She was right... he belonged in hell, he deserved to die, and the only thing keeping him alive was his own cowardice.. he had always been a coward, hiding behind kidnapping and knives, pretending he was so smart and clever, and no one would do what he did. He had acted on anger and violence alone, no other reason then that.

Felix let out a long, choking sob after her words had finished. His breath caught in his throat and he slowly nodded, tasting his own blood from his dripping nose as he parted his lips to get air, his body racked with sobs he didn't even knew he had. He had kept this pain and sorrow back for years... and he could do nothing more then sob on the ground in front of three people, one of which was a child.. who shouldn't have to see this kind of action.

"I'm sorry.." He sobbed, wrapping his arms around his middle, rocking back and forth slightly now, choking on his own spit and blood as he stared at the ground, pain coursing through his every limb. He should die.. he wanted to die. He was too afraid to die. He had killed people for no reason, had ruined his life by his own hand. He wasn't even in his thirties yet, and he had become a person so horrible he didn't even know if he recognized himself.

His breathing was coming faster and harder, his mind was an acceleration of pain and remorse, he wanted nothing more than for her to take out her wand and kill him. Put him out of this misery that tormented him. "I'm so sorry.." He sobbed out again, slowly raising his head to look for Jack, attempting to catch her eye. "Jack..." He whispered, tears running down his face still, mixing with the blood from his broken nose.

"Chase Moor should not have died... I.. I am so sorry.." He whispered, sobs wracking his body once more as he let his forehead hit the dirt, letting out a strangled sob. "I wish.." He stopped and shook his head, staring at the ground beneath his face. "If I could undo..." He stopped again and finally just sat there, exhausted and shaking as he tried to regain some composure, in order to stand up and leave that place... leave the place he would never be welcome in.. the woman who would never forgive him.

"You have every right... I do not deserve... I just wanted... I wasn't.." He stammered before suddenly he lifted his face off the ground and looked at Jack again. "I wish I could take her place."

She needed to put distance between herself and the crumpled figure on the ground before she lost her humanity. There was not much more Jack could say to this man without wanting to harm him, and if she had to listen to him much longer, she did not think she could uphold her promise on letting him live until morning. Everytime he spoke, everytime he looked at her, she thought of those she had excused and pardoned. Vito. Thaor. Aaron. All turned out to have cruelty in their hearts, and worse, the will to see cruelty delivered to innocents.

She had tried with James Blood, given him the initial benefit of doubt. But this time, when he refused to take her opportunities to do right, she had learned that justice had a much louder voice than mercy. After the most recent battle when they had recovered Khaat, Jack had shown no more mercy than it took to be humane, and she had promised to hunt James Blood like the animal he insisted he was. And since, she had heard nothing of him. Obviously, this way worked much better.

His name was vile in his mouth. Chase's name turned to ash. His apologies were poison, his pleas were toxic. She would not allow her to admit these diseases into her, lest her own soul be ravaged with these 'kind' plagues.

It hurt Jack. She would never admit it, but she was a person of kindness and mercy. She was a believer in second chances. Becoming this cruel, rigid woman had never been apart of the plan. Jack had always thought it would be she that stood up for those no one else had hope in, giving them at least some belief, some hope. But things had changed. Jack had people to protect, people to care for. And being in charge of other people's safety meant there was not always the luxuries of forgiveness.

Jack stood and approached Max and Sunny, reaching for her niece. Sunny hesitated, and then put her arms up. Jack took her, hefting her onto her hip. She brushed Sunny's hair back and looked into the kind eyes of the girl who had never seen her aunt be so mean.

I'm doing this for you.

Felix called out, another plea. He assured her that he wished he could take Chase's place. Jack turned slightly, narrowing her eyes coldly on him. And she looked oh so dangerous, even with a child on her hip.

"So do I."

She turned and placed a hand on Max's elbow, whispering, "Please, let's go."