Fog in the Air

Albus,

I don't know what love is. I'm sorry that my ignorance has caused you any pain at all. That is something I do not want to do if I can help it. That's why this letter is so late. It goes against all my instincts, and I fear that it may continue to cause some pain. But if we have to hurt, I think it better be for the right reasons, at the very least.

I don't know what love is, but if I had to name it, your name would be in the definition. I can't shake your words and your gaze and your disappointment. I care. I might have been very good at telling you otherwise, but I'm a filthy liar in that respect - I care a whole f*ck of a lot.

You always said you were the smart one. Well, I think I outsmarted us both this time. I made us both believe that I don't care. I do. If I can love, I love you. Because, as you know, I'm a dumbass.

-Jack

Jack's current regrets weighed as much as an unsealed letter.

The letter had been written four days ago and had lived in her coat pocket ever singe, a hand always clenched around it, holding onto it like a scrap of baby blanket. Squeeze, release, squeeze, release. The few times she moved her hand from the pocket, her breathing was shallow until her skin found the evidence of her secret remaining so.

She could not tell why she was answering. It really was a terrible thing to continually be reminded of, and yet she could not part from it no matter how she wished she could. She would have left it at home, but something told her it needed to be with her. She was afraid of Sunny or Max finding it, and yet she also could not get rid of it. She simultaneously wanted it destroyed and wanted it to be read. But she had decided it was to remain only for her eyes until... until something. She wasn't sure what would convince her to forgo caution and safety from feeling.

She was running errands because she needed to breathe. Home was suffocating her. Sunny was so happy - which Jack loved, but it somehow hurt. Every time she looked at Sunny lately, she couldn't help but think of Sunny in ten years, when boys would break her heart, and she would break rules, and she would get in trouble, and she would struggle, and cry, and scream, and she would hate her Aunt Jack for trying to spare her any pain.

Max being happy wasn't quite the same, but it frustrated Jack anyway. Didn't he see how shitty their life was at times? Barely scraping by on rent. Up until all hours juggling teenaged stowaways and children. Forced into marriages. Forced to procreate. And yet, he was happy to have Sunny curl crayons into his hair and paint his nails. What used to charm Jack beyond all else now made her feel so alone. The world was going mad around her and she was surrounded by people who enjoyed it nevertheless.

A small gaggle of children were chasing a half kneazle down the street towards her. Jack continued her stroll but could see the cat was in distress. As it approached, she bent to scoop it up, pulling it out of reach of the kids, who all let out sighs of displeasure at having their fun stumped by an old shrew. Jack continued walking, unaware that the scroll had fallen from her pocket and landed neatly on the soft ground.

(Sorry it's not great; getting back into RPing is proving difficult)

Scorpius was in Hogsmeade. He hadn't been to the village in years, only once since his last year of Hogwarts. He'd just been procrastinating the inevitable. The wizard knew that he'd have to visit Honeydukes sooner or later. After all, he did own the place, and there was only so much that one could do through letters.

The Malfoy heir was feeling rather good. He'd had a nice night at the bar the previous evening, having bought home a beautiful witch to spend the night entertaining. He'd woken up to a cup of tea, and had just spent his last thirty minutes screaming at the manager of the sweet shop. Admittedly, that hadn't been strictly necessary. Scorpius figured that he could get away with it though, everyone was allowed to be unreasonable on occasion.  

The wizard had been heading to the Three Broomsticks for a drink, when he spotted a familiar head of hair. Jack Dyllan's head of hair. Well, it certainly had been a while since Scorpius had run into her. In fact, the man didn't think they'd come into contact since their school days. Had that really only been just a few years ago?

Scorpius quickened his pace in an attempt to catch up with the female, when Jack bent down to pick up a feline. Without the woman noticing, a scroll fell out of her pocket and onto the cobblestone ground. Rushing over to the scroll, the once-Slytherin stooped over to grab the paper from the ground. Without even stopping to think about the action, Scorpius unrolled the scroll and began to read.

Leaning against the corner of a side ally, the wizard shook his head. Damn, what had he missed? Albus and Jack? He supposed it made sense, in a rather twisted sort of way. Still, Albus would get into this kind of mess without Scorpius around. Merlin knows that Albus was hopeless when it came to social interaction. Scorpius had always been the charming one of the pair.

A part of Scorpius wanted to be angry at the Gryffindor. How dare she hurt Albus? But Albus wasn't his best friend anymore. Albus hadn't talked to him in years. He had no right to be mad at Jack for upsetting the dark-haired wizard when he had done the very same. Scorpius had probably done something even worse than the muggleborn, when it came down to it.

No, Scorpius wouldn't be angry with the redhead, nor would he use this against her. The wizard had always respected the woman, and there was a part of him that would always care greatly for his once dorm mate. If the two cared for each other, he wouldn't meddle. It was their prerogative, after all.

Slipping the letter into his pocket, with the intention of returning it to the woman whom had dropped it, Scorpius quickly sauntered off after Jack and the kneazle in her arms.

The cat's sides rumbled wonderfully as it enjoyed the brief respite that the redheaded woman's arms provided it. Jack sighed, a sharp breeze cutting her cheeks as she walked. The sun was bright and warm, heating her back and stretching the skin over her ears and neck. The ground was hard beneath her feet, solidified by the hundreds of feet that stomped and packed the dirt week in and out. All these things should have reminded Jack of the glories of life, the nature of it continuing, the way it never stopped. Somehow, she felt left behind instead. As though her turmoils and sadness meant absolutely nothing.

And then again... wasn't that the truth?

She sighed. The kneazle began to squirm, tired of safety and ready for freedom. She quickly detoured and set the cat atop a bench, getting closer and closer to the Shrieking Shack. She had decided it would have been nice to sit atop the collapsing wooden fence and torture herself with the ruins of the shack - it had not yet been rebuilt since the battle that had reduced it to ashes and rubble. Jack had faced it once or twice since then, and had found it somehow relieving to face the destruction she blamed on herself. Therapeutic almost.

And she was due for some therapy.

She slipped her hands into her jacket pockets and suddenly felt... nothing. Absence. Her heart dropped, seizing with fear. Her hands immediately searched her pants pockets as her feet stopped, holding her in place as she patted herself everywhere. She couldn't have lost the letter already. Not so soon, not so unspectacularly. She swallowed and closed her eyes, letting the air come into her brain, filling it with harsh clarity, and then release out her mouth.

She was screwed.

She turned, her eyes searching the path that had led her here, and her eyes drifted upwards, finding a figure standing in it. Scorpius Malfoy. Shit. She hadn't seen him in a long time and now he was just... right there. She blinked, certain she probably looked insane, but she wasn't sure how to recover her sense of dignity either. "Hi, Scorp," Jack choked out.

"Hi Jack," the wizard responded with a smile slightly gentler than the one he normally used. While he wasn't extraordinary, Scorpius was observant enough. He'd noticed the woman searching herself, already aware that the letter he'd just read was no longer on her person. Originally, the once-Slytherin had intended to hand the letter over straight away. It was obvious now that such an action would not be a good idea.

Jack was obviously stressed. Her worry had been clear enough in her eyes for the moment she'd been turning around. If he returned the scroll now, she'd get defensive. Merlin knew that if someone had read something that private from his they'd be cursed in a blink. Scorpius doubted Jack would do anything quite that drastic, but scaring her off wasn't high on the blonde's agenda.

"Long time no see," the wizard continued, his lips curving into a half-smirk like it was as natural a movement as breathing. "How long as it been, since graduation?" Scorpius continued, well aware of the answer but asking anyway.

Slyly scanning Jack a little more in-depth, the Malfoy noticed something that really didn't sit well with him. Jack didn't look right. It wasn't just her basic appearance either, it was everything. The redhead's posture was just a little off, and her facial expression seemed almost forced. Alarm bells were ringing inside of the blonde's mind. It was all wrong.

The Jack he'd known and respected had been different from the witch that now stood before him. The Jack Dyllan he'd known had been confident, where as this one seemed almost, dare he say it, defeated?

Scorpius had never been one to take pleasure from meddling in the affairs of others. Actually, that was a lie. He's always taken a twisted pleasure from screwing up the lives of the people who crossed him. Scorpius had not, however, been the type to run around playing matchmaker with his friends and predicting what profession his classmates would hold upon graduation.  

Scorpius was pretty sure he'd have to make an exception for the woman in front of him. He wouldn't meddle, but he would ensure they talked. The decision was hardly a selfless one. It was almost scary seeing the witch he had once thought of as unbreakable like this. If life had made Jack Dyllan into a shadow of her former self, then he... well, he didn't stand a chance.

"Come on," Scorpius said, gesturing with his arm for her to come with him, "lets go get a drink. Catch up, exchange stories and whatnot. I'm buying."

As important as the letter was to her, the sudden appearance of Scorpius Malfoy in such an unspectacular fashion was enough for the scrap of paper to float from her mind and fall to the bottom of her priorities - though it was certain to make a loud, unavoidable comeback soon enough. There was no build up, no preparation to running into the Slyterin boy. People just drifted, she supposed, in and out of the lives of people old and new. Jack's hands slipped from her pockets to her sides, quickly gathering all of the pieces of herself, certain he would be around for a short enough span for her to coherently hold herself together.

"Yeah, it's been... been awhile," she responded, fishing for something substantial to say. But she was not one to say things for the sake of conversation either. He continued on, clarifying his own vague statement, and she considered the truth of her statement, before nodding. "I suppose you're right. I think it was graduation." That was strange to consider. People she had spent seven years with in grueling classes, boring study halls, dangerous tasks, stupid pranks, stiff dances, and long holidays and... how many had she seen since they had all been let loose into the world? She vaguely wondered if anyone had stayed in contact. Maybe it was just her who had remained out of the loop?

And whose fault was that : her's or their's?

Ah, but what did it matter? Jack had never been close with her classmates, preferring the company of those older to her or her stranger than her. And to be honest, she was pretty much the Hogwarts Enigma in her time there. She had been that girl who was brooding and angry one minute, beating up anyone who gave her a look she didn't consider to be friendly; the next minute, she was getting everyone out of a History of Magic exam they were thoroughly unprepared for, taking one for the team and subjecting herself to a month of detention, even though she had studied. No one had ever really known what to think of her. It wasn't their fault they hadn't wanted to stay in touch.

She had never really been in touch to begin with.

He was speaking, so she quickly said, "Sure," before actually processing what had been asked of her. Oh, right, a drink. A drink always sounded good to the moderate almost-alcoholic. Especially when she was anxious, stressed, fearful. She had already said yes, she took it as a sign to follow her body's instincts to agree. She stepped after him and said, "Let's go."

((OOC: I'd finished this reply, when it got deleted. I don't like version 2 nearly as much, it's also a tad shorter. Sorry.))

Scorpius was pleasantly surprised when Jack said yes. He'd half been expected that he'd have to convince her. The man had already prepared six different reasons for the witch to join him for a drink, each one slight more ridiculous then the last. The man was almost disappointed that Jack hadn't needed convincing, his reasons would have been sure to make her laugh. Or at least cause her to crack a smile.

"Brilliant," Scorpius said instead, turning around to walk towards the Hogs Head. It was after only a few steps that a thought struck him. Should he be taking Jack to the Hogs Head? Perhaps the Three Broomsticks would be a better idea? Of course, if it were up to him they'd end up in Satan's, but it hardly made sense to floo to Knockturn when there were two perfectly good pubs right there.

Keeping his steps even, Scorpius continued to weigh the two Hogsmeade bars against each other. The Three Broomsticks would be both louder and more crowded, but was sure to be a cleaner environment. Finally deciding that Jack was hardly the type of witch to care about such things, the man stopped at the door of the closer establishment.

Opening the door of the Hogs Head for Jack to enter before him, Scorpius slipped in closely behind her, suddenly aware of the slight numbness in his fingertips. Rubbing his hands together to get the circulation going, the man shuddered slightly at the shiver that ran down his spine. The ex-Slytherin had never been a fan of rapid temperature changes, and stepping in from outside definitely counted.

Spotting a table in the far back corner of the pub, Scorpius headed straight towards it. The area was veiled in shadow, and seemed to be one of the most private spots available. While the Malfoy tended to be a very social person, he figured that Jack wouldn't exactly appreciate a table in the very center of the room. She'd never liked attention the way he did. Besides, if they ended up catching up and talking about his life, he definitely wouldn't mind the privacy.

Pulling off the black coat he'd been wearing in one swift movement, the man threw it over the back of the chair closest to the rest of the room. Satisfied that he'd marked the table as his own, Scorpius threw his shoulders back and curved his spine in a stretch. Taking an automatic step towards the bar, the blonde froze upon remembering that he was with someone he didn't know the drink order of.

Turning back around to face the redhead, Scorpius folded his arms across his chest.. "So, I'm gonna be having a firewhiskey, shall I order two?" he asked, cocky smile back upon his face. He hadn't asked for it to be there, it had just appeared, like it always did.

((I hate when that happens. No worries, my dear.))

Her body responded mechanically, rather than at the direction of her mind's reasoning or her emotional desires. She felt her knees propel forward, her calves and feet unfolding beneath her knees. She wasn't sure where they were going - she realized she didn't care much. She hadn't had much of a destination before, and the excuse to go anywhere made her feel a lot more purposeful. She hated feeling as though she was another in the crowd of aimless wanderers who had no motivation to arrive anywhere or do anything of importance. To have someone who wanted to drink with her, then, was greatly appreciated. Even if she had not thought this whole thing out all the way through.

Hell. Plans were for losers.

They approached the Hog's Head and Jack found herself greatly relieved that they were not going to a more public, boisterous place. Here was a place where she could actually drink. They headed inside and Jack followed Scorpius, passing tables of familiars to the pub. She clapped a hand on a familiar shoulder, one belonging to Aeron Stark, a regular she had often found herself in the company of when company was needed and not to be found. Even those who did not drink with fellow regulars felt as though they did. The pub door's closed behind them and they were all family for the night. That's just the way it worked.

She followed Scorpius to a back table and sat at one of the chairs, as he seemed to be the one heading over to the bar, and he was a big boy who could order all on his own. He offered to buy her a Firewhiskey and she said, "Just make it a regular whiskey. I've had my fill of fire for the week."

"Fair," Scorpius said with a slight smirk, before turning back towards the bar and wincing slightly. He'd never been one to sensor himself for the sake of others, but perhaps he should consider it tonight. If he remembered and could hold his tongue. Which, admittedly, wasn't all that likely. But he'd try.

Tossing some coins to the bartender in exchange for the two drinks he'd been handed, Scorpius headed back towards the table where Jack was sitting. Setting the whiskey down in front of the redhead, the wizard slipped gracefully into his chair. Taking a sip from his own drink, the man tipped his head back against the burn as the liquid slipped down his throat.

Letting out a satisfied sigh, Scorpius finally turned to look at Jack. For once, the man wasn't exactly sure what to say. It was rare that the social wizard ever had a problem coming up with words, but it seemed to be happening. Taking another swig of his drink just for something to do, Scorpius smiled. It was just Jack, he could do this.

"So, it's been years. What has the Great and Wondrous Jack been up to?" the blonde asked, slightly teasing tone flowing easily from between his lips. He'd always been far better at non-serious conversations. Jokes and sarcasm and smirks were easy. Something told Scorpius that tonight might not be so easy though. It was a good thing he had alcohol.

Tilting his chair backwards onto two legs, the eldest Malfoy child surveyed the bar's other patrons. There were a few familiar faces, and no-one whom he didn't get along with. Even better, there was nobody who would feel the need to come over and say hi. Perfect.

((I actually sort of want to discard this thread because it was never followed through with IC. We could have another Scorp/Jack catch up thread if you want.))