Season One of McPoe Madness

Here are some ideas:

Bad horror movie night.
The confrontation of the real Ronald McDonald.
Ouija Board to contact Napoleon.
Pretend to live in a room set at a furniture store.
The Great Jarvey Escape - Nemo sets free the Ministry's Jarveys.
Jack brings home a baby dragon... and it gets out in the house.

The sofa had been pulled out; the blinds had been lowered. Jack tapped her pajama clad leg impatiently as she waited for the popcorn. She had already poured herself a glass of Coke, and she had gotten out some vodka for her companion. Weasel and Fred had curled up atop Mongo, and Elliot was surely guarding and keeping warm Nemo's feet. The movie had been specially selected, and it now awaited Jack to reenter the scene.

The movie was called Thanskilling, and it featured a foul-mouthed, perverted turkey that killed for apparently no reason. The movie began artistically, with a close shot an elderly, ex-pornstar's breasts as she ran about the woods in half of a pilgrim outfit, only to be killed by the turkey. The movie continued to get graphic, showing buckets of fake red goo and plastic intestine.

Jack couldn't wait.

"Yo Mickie D!" came Nemo's shrill shout from his position on the sofa, where he turned, folded, and twisted in search of the object of his attention; the key ingredient in his enjoyable evening. "Where did you put my cigarettes?" He called in a tone that he'd hoped had sounded as hilariously demanding as he'd intended.

He could never pull off a convincing drill sergeant.
Nor conduct a successful interrogation.

He flopped his head over the sofa's end, dangling overboard so to sweep the floor beneath with his inquisitively narrowed eyes. "Where did you run off too..." He questions the objects hiding beneath the furniture; a knut and his lost sock monkey hat, torn and dust laden after Mongo, the possessed, sock-eating foot stool had swiped it from his bedroom. "Hey!" Nemo complained, withdrawing the hat and pulling it over his head in a fluent motion that betrayed his lack of knowledge in proper hygiene.

"McDonald!" He whined and knocked himself roughly against the sofa once more as he threw the day's due tantrum. "Mc-Don-ald! Mc-Don-ald! Mc-Don-ald!" He continued, increasing the volume of his mantra and the probability of becoming the victim of a homicide. "Where's my Sugar? I can't watch the movie without my Sugar!" Until at last he had decided that his words alone would not do the trick, and a shriek resonated from the living room, followed shortly by the thump! thump! thump! of his flailing limbs crashing against the sofa. "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!".

Nemo called her and she sang back, "I can't hear yooooou!" The popcorn ticked closer and closer and Nemo continued to yell at her. "I didn't touch your cigarettes!" she called back. She pounded down the Coke and refilled the glass, beginning to become pleasantly jittery. She had already opened the second of three two liters for the evening.

It struck her that Nemo had brought home some candy for the movie madness. She sent the glasses of drinks hovering into the living room to settle on the coffee table as she began opening cupboards in search of the candy. Nemo shouts and thumps reached her ears and Jack rolled her eyes. "You're going to flip the sofa over again!" she called, trying to disguise the laugh in her voice as a stern warning. Truth was, he had never flipped the couch over on his own. It always took a small flick of her wand.

And she had managed to keep the secret too.

He began to call for the candy when she found the little colorful pouches in one of the drawers. The popcorn beeped and she pulled the bag out, pouring its contents into a bowl, before dropping the bags of candy into the bowl. Grabbing the whole thing, she walked into the living room, in time to witness Nemo's tantrum.

With a smile, she flicked her wand, sending the sofa toppling backwards. She strode forward, settling her back against the underside of the sofa and hitting play on the remote. "I brought candy! Stop fooling around and come watch the movie."

Nemo and Sofa : 0.
Jack : 27.

“Once! That happened once! And I – fck!” Nemo squealed as the sofa rocked backward and he was forced heavily downward. “Oof,” his head ricocheted off of its cushioned back and he blinked, utterly bewildered. “Nope! No way! There is no way I did that this time!” He refused, before climbing upright to pop his head over the bottom of the sofa in the manner of a sock-monkey-topped meerkat. But his focus was easily stolen away from his position on the upturned furniture by the vodka and bag of candy that his companion had delivered from the kitchen.

He snatched up the candy in his scarred fist and pouted, “Actually, I was referring to the drug.” But his complaint did not hinder him in his mad dash to open the bag. Nay; his attempt to tear the plastic apart and dive eagerly into the awaiting collection of candy was interrupted by the evening’s second surprise. The bag’s protective seal had already been torn, and what awaited him inside was not only the sugar that Jack had assumed he’d been asking for, but his stashed supply of rolled Sugar cigarettes. “Oh!” He chuckled giddily, each laugh stumbling over the last as they rolled from his drying lips. “I forgot about these!” He turned towards Jack while he leaned against the sofa’s seats and plucked a cigarette from the bag. “You get it? Because it’s called Sugar, and…” He trailed off in a fit of giggles, occasionally breaking to mutter “awesome” or “hilarious” to himself.

Jack pressed play while Nemo lit the cigarette that he’d balanced between his lips, and he smirked immediately upon returning his eyes to the television. He pulled the cigarette away for a brief moment to let out a mocking cat call, which quivered with his poorly suppressed laughter. “I thought we were watching Monty Python tonight?” Nemo inquired, though his tone did not suggest that he was prepared to debate the matter, but that it had merely occurred to him. He leapt over the sofa to join Jack underneath it and inhaled a cloud of his drug.

Nemo was getting suspicious of the sofa, and Jack quickly attempted to derail him, for she hoped to continue to have the sofa-flip trick in her arsenal against his usually-enjoyable insanity. As pleasant as it was, she had to keep up somehow. "I think you must have gained weight or something. Or perhaps Mongo had taught the couch how to move, and it's sick of you dropping lit cigarettes on it."

"Isn't Reese's Pieces a drug?" Jack responded lightly. "Remember, mate, I'm the moral one between us." She paused. "Isn't that a sad statement?" She sighed and then grinned, popping a few kernals of popcorn into her mouth. She glanced behind her to see Nemo's addictions had won again- they always did. She rolled her eyes and then paused. "Wait, where else do you store those? I don't want to grab a handful of chips and swallow your reality benders."

He joined her as she munched on some gummy worms, swallowing them as she said, "Nah, Thankskilling is much classier. Oh! This is the part where he eats the turkey and the turkey shoots him from the inside with a shotgun!"