Swallowing My Pride...

Jack sighed as she climbed up to the first floor of the amazing tree fort she and Andrew had discovered... It was hard to believe that the last time she had been here, she had still had hope for a certain poltergeist. She had defended her position to Andrew even.

And now she was here to swallow her pride and eat her words.

She knew she needed to speak to Chase, feeling the need to get that confrontation out of the way, especially since Jack felt partially responsible for how everything played out.But she needed to come here. For her sanity... She should have known. She should have protected Chase, she should have kept a keener eye on Vito, and yet...

She also had a feeling that Andrew would be a bit more of an angry customer when she apologized. He was fiercely protective of his friends and there was a very good chance that he might blame Jack for the latest attack on Chase. She could not blame him; she blamed herself. Although lately, she blamed herself for everything. She had failed; she had not been helping Vito. She had thought...after the last time she was at Satin's... He had been so upset then, so sad...

She shook her head, swallowing. She glanced around the tree house... She would probably be spending the night here for the next few nights, she decided. She had spent the last night at the Leaky Cauldron. It was too much too face her family and her house...

And now she had to face Andrew.

"What are you doing here?" Andrew asked Jack, him standing only a couple of feet away from. She could probably ask the same question to him, but he needed a place to think over his thoughts. He didn't like just hanging out in the cornfields, so he decided to take residance of the tree fort for a while. He had only been there 10 minutes already, yet it felt like hours. He had nearly lost it back in London, when Chase had been beat up by some sort of demon...and lost his mind when he started to 'fall' for her 'danger' side.

He was in a good mood, until he saw Jack. Furious couldn't even describe him at that moment. He was beyond it, pretty much breaking the chart. She had tried to help Chase of course, but once again he still found himself in that realm where she had again socialized with Vito Dee Symons. Just thinking that name made him want to hit something. The 'man' that had murdered Chase's family. The 'man' that had hurt Chase. The THING he had ran into at Diagon Alley.

He leaned against the wall, his eyes sparked with fury and disdain for Jack. He didn't mean to show it, but he missed the one he could play quidditch with and kill a large bird with. Why was she still with this guy? It didn't make any sense

Jack sighed and she stood to face Andrew, closing her eyes as his voice betrayed him and showed just how livid he was with her. While half of her was kicking herself to have ever caused so much troubles that she had to hear him talk to her like that, the other part of her was glad she had friends that were so protective of each other. Jack may have failed Chase (Jack seemed to have failed everyone) but at least Chase had a good friend like Andrew to watch over her.

Jack opened her eyes and felt old habits wanting to face whoever spoke harshly to her with a defiant expression. But this was not the old Jack. The old Jack was buried in regret and stupidity. This was new Jack, the one who was stuck in robot mode, the one who could not believe that she had been such an idiot. She blinked and let out another sigh to steady herself and clear her mind. How had she known Andrew would be here? She was not to sure, but she knew she would find him.

"I need to talk to you," she said in a level voice. "I've talked to Chase and...well...you've heard and..." She felt almost the exact words she had said to Chase spill out of her lips. "I screwed up. I put my belief in someone I should not and my friends were punished for it, not me. I don't expect forgiveness at all." She would almost be angry if her friends could fogive her so easily. "I just need you to know that I know I screwed everyone over." She winced slightly, knowing she was about to get a lecture.

Andrew listened to her, his anger still pulsating in him. There was only one thing he didn't understand. One thing. "Why do you keep talking to the thing?" he asked her, his anger once again getting the better of him. He didn't even want to refer Vito as being a him. Because anyone who could do such a thing should not be classified as some sort of human being. That's all Vito was. Just another dangerous freak.

Another thing had popped into his mind, and had to fight it all back to keep him from asking it. Sure he was pissed, sure he felt like he could scream at Jack. But he knew that she had maken a mistake, and at least wanted to find out why she had chosen the things she did. Why she had saved Chase if she was hanging out with that ghost buddy. And why she had become this way. Everything in his mind sounded cruel and obscence, yet he knew that she was still his friend.

He just needed to find her.

((Ooh btw just so you have the timeline down right...this is 2 days after the incident and on the same day Chase is going to Satin's. Jack's break down thread has not yet happened. Just so you know. Lol)))

Jack shook her head. "I'm not talking to him anymore. I have not even seen him since...since that day." She rubbed her forehead, accidentally brushing the scar that Nerezza had given her...criss-crossing that scar was the scar she had gotten that day when she had flung herself out of the way of Vito's killing curse. She felt her blood run cold and she dropped her hand.

She could see Andrew fighting with himself and she swiftly said, "Look, I know some things about..." She could not bring herself to say his name... "About him that no one is going to understand, but trust me when I say I honestly believed he was changing, or at least trying. I thought I was doing everything I could to help my friends. But something went wrong and now I am facing the consequences and I hate myself for it."

It was funny. Jack was not the kind of person who could bring herself to hate anyone she knew had hope. She still would not classify the way she felt about Vito as hate... and yet she could hate herself with the quickest of ease... And she doubted she could ever forgive herself either...

((kk))

Andrew felt another surge of anger go through him. For a moment, he honestly believed that Vito had brainwashed Jack, thinking that it was completely ridiculous that Vito could change. He. Was. A. Murderer. Nothing would ever change that, even Jack, whom he knew had the best of intentions. If Vito had been nicer and NOT mudered his girlfriends entire family, he would've tried to help. "You say like you can change him," he said softly, bringing his anger down slightly "you can't Jack. You just can't. He's a murderer and you know it."

Why couldn't she just accept her limitations? He could tell that she had at least some glimmer of hope, that she could try to change Vito. Yet nothing would change. He would always be a self absorbed bastard and never care about anyone. "You need to make a choice Jack," he said, his voice straight and without emotion "its us, or our friendship. I don't want to socialize with anyone that has anything to do with Vito."

(okk scratch that. This is the day after the attack. Tommorow jack will talk to chase, the day after will be chase's confrontation AND THEN jack's breakdown. Lol. An amazing realization made me change my mind...sorry.)

Jack shook her head "Andrew. You have to trust me. I would not have risked so much for stupid reasons. If you had seen what I have seen, you would be in my position." Though after she said it, she knew that was not sure. Andrew was stubborn in that he saw things in black and white, right and wrong, with no gray areas... Jack's entire life seemed to be a gray area at the time being...

And then he told her she had to make a choice and she felt sort of angry. It was not his right to dictate her life. He was a kid, he was only in the sixth year. Just because he was the leader of the PA and the Gryffindor team did not mean he told her what to do. They were not in school.

But, of course, he was just watching out for Chase. She said, "Andrew...I"m done making promises, because they got me into this mess. But I do not plan to go looking for Vito and trying to figure this out. I'm done."

When she said 'I'm done' she did not mean with Vito. She meant with everything. She was done trying to figure everything out. She was just going to drift, let the wind blow her in the direction it told her. Fighting did not get you anywhere. It just got you beat up.

((Lol kk))

"Jack he's a murderer!" he said with more anger in his voice "and a rapist! Do you really think you can change that? This isn't some kind of movie where everything works out in the end!" He wished it would've, but every story had to have some sort of ending. Most realistic stories never had a good ending. And if it did, it would usually require some sort of sacrifice or betrayal.

When she said that she was 'done', his eyebrow raised a little. "Jack you can't run away from something," he said with the same monotone voice "just because you don't want to deal with it. Everything will end in a way, and we all have to try and make it the best we can. We all need to face Vito...and end it." How they would end it, he did not know. Anything was possible in a wizarding world.

((Is this Open Jack))

((sorry Nick 'fraid not. Sorry AJ totally did not see that post! ))

Jack closed her eyes against Andrew's harsh words and kept her breath as steady as possible. Did she really need to keep being reminded of how horrible Vito was, of how stupid she was? She got it, she understood, better than anyone she knew! Obviously Andrew just felt like ripping into her and she did not need anymore of that. She could just go home for that, go to Satin's, hell go to Hogwarts for that. She did not need it one of her safe places.

She turned and began to walk away, not able to stand any more of Andrew's ragings when he suddenly told her she could not run away. She turned around and whipped out her wand, pointing it at Andrew, her eyes ablaze.

"Stop," she said in a powerful voice. Her eyes shone, not with tears, but with the layers of fake she had put up that had been peeled away. She was done staying calm. "I have never run away. I walk right into everything that comes at me. I face it head on. I am allowed to run away once. Once. If I don't Vito will find me and you will be pissed by that. I can not please you, or Chase, or Vito, or even myself, so I'm going to get away for awhile and figure out what the hell is wrong with me, and some sixth year is not gonna sit here and talk to me about things he does not even understand." She stared at him fiercely, her voice having stayed even and yet threatening throughout the whole speech. "Okay?" she said fiercely.