Life is pain
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Welcome to Potter's Army

We have been a Harry Potter Roleplaying site since 2007. If you're an old member we hope you come check out the discord link provided below. And if you're looking for a new roleplaying site, well, we're a little inactive. But every once and a while nostalgia sets in and a few of our alumni members will revisit the old stomping grounds and post together. Remember to stay safe out there. And please feel free to drop a line whenever!

Life is pain Li9olo10

What’s Happening?
Since every few months or so a few of our old members get the inspiration to revisit their old stomping grounds we have decided to keep PA open as a place to revisit old threads and start new ones devoid of any serious overarching plot or setting. Take this time to start any of those really weird threads you never got to make with old friends and make them now! Just remember to come say hello in the chatbox below or in the discord. Links have been provided in the "Comings and Goings" forum as well as the welcome widget above.

Life is pain

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Post by Lily Luna Potter 1st gen Tue Aug 30, 2016 4:26 am

She typically wouldn't have accepted an invitation out simple because... she didn't really go out. She had little interest in putting herself into a position where she could be recognized, for either deed or name, and no company had ever seemed worth the risk unless it ended in a transaction that gave her the substances that made the getting home easier.

But a lot had changed for her, and in just a matter of days. Internally, the changes were still occurring, new thoughts edging out the old, new feelings growing where dead ones decayed. And she couldn't help but feel that this happy little consolation was an excuse to try to make her life a little more functional. Life had been hard, but now she had this, and she wasn't sure she wanted all of the other complications bleed over and... and complicate it.

Besides, it made sense. Shylock seemed to be willing to go along with the therapy without becoming a poster child, so he was as good as an ally within the group as anyone else. She wasn't going to find one in her cousin, and the Grimm girl didn't seem to have any use. Besides, Shylock has a clever way about him.

"Chamomile tea. No sugar."

She drummed her fingers on the counter, realizing she had no clue how to keep up a casual conversation. She had never seen much use in it, and she had never bothered to worry if she offended someone by staying quiet. So, she supposed some sort of observation might be... nice.

"This place is cheery."

Well, that came out more deadpan than was probably appropriate.
Lily Luna Potter 1st gen
Lily Luna Potter 1st gen
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Post by Lily Luna Potter 1st gen Fri Sep 16, 2016 2:06 am

She offered her thanks as he tipped the payment towards the barista, and she followed him, content to give over a bit of her self direction in this alien environment. It had been a long time since she had come out in public casually.

It was a good thing she was the Potter no one expected anything out of. The relative anonymity was welcome.

They were seated away from the main hub of conversation, leaving only the hum of voices and the twangs of the acoustic music that seemed to be built into the framework of every coffee shop. She felt inner conflict over where to put her hands and where to look, but they quite naturally folded into her lap as her eyes trailed across the art work.

Shylock's tone shifted and it was this that sparked the bravery within her to actually look him in the eye. She felt herself deflate but she knew herself well enough to know that she was probably staring back with that stoney look that was only too natural.

And then it softened.

"No, no," she said, her voice conceding his right to feel that way. "I mean, it helps, you know. But I, um... I'm actually trying now. Trying to get better and not be some strange recluse." She winced, because she wasn't really making it seem better. "I wanted to. I just... haven't really had friends in a long time."
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Post by Lily Luna Potter 1st gen Sun Sep 25, 2016 3:00 am

Lily felt like he was trying to help her, trying to express a sense of camaraderie and understanding. Because she did understand that she suffered from a disease, and that her mindset could only truly be understood by someone who shared it. She knew how scary she could get, how difficult it was to understand.

It wasn't something she wanted to be reminded of. Not now that she had someone, a new person, someone she would rather not see the back of. And that was a fear she had, one she hadn't fully considered because she was fairly solitary.

Her hands cupped her tea and she stared at the steam that trailed upwards and dissipated into the room. She chewed on her lip and nodded. "Yeah..." She cleared her throat and looked up. "So... have you had that? Someone who just... didn't get it? Or didn't understand how much it affects you?"
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Post by Lily Luna Potter 1st gen Mon Sep 26, 2016 3:50 pm

She wasn't sure why this made so much more sense than when Teddy tried to minister to her pain. Perhaps Teddy had been too close, and therefore too unwilling to admit that even he could not understand, could not help if she wasn't going to pull her weight too. The words sounded different when they weren't padded with a false idealism that rang as inherently wrong.

It wasn't as bad as she though, she supposed. She felt certain that Apollo could, and would, listen without judgment, and trust when understanding fell short. The not-knowing of it, though, the fact that she had always just removed herself from the situation when she got bad, so he had never seen her at he worse, that was still a worry.

She knew the feeling of people trying to fix her. She trusted that Teddy had attempted it out of true care for her, but it had always felt... foolish. As though a nice shower and a clean room could fix all the weird stuff inside. It just wasn't how it worked.

"The watching doesn't... frustrate you?" she asked. "I don't know. It's this weird line of wanting to feel normal and be treated normal but you don't feel normal."
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Post by Lily Luna Potter 1st gen Tue Sep 27, 2016 3:26 pm

Maybe that was why they needed the little group. That word. Normal. They all understood the idea that each person had their own definition of normal, and felt the separation from the typical definition. Maybe they just needed people who spoke their language.

That was what she didn't want, though. People worrying about her. The critical part of her chimed then stop giving them reasons to worry and she would have winced had she not been in public. But now that she felt that those really dark, scary times were over, she wished it was easy enough to forget them and live worry-free. Life was hard enough without the added stress of wondering when she was going to go off the deep end.

She scratched at a chip in the table. "Yeah, there is." She couldn't deny Teddy that. He had always been watching out for her. "I think I finally got them to stop. But I have someone... else, too. Someone checking in with me."

The problem was that H-word. She hadn't felt a place was home since... well, since her mother died.
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