Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door

Three months.

Three months ago, Helena went.
Since then, Daniel doesn't know himself.

Alone in his apartment, he gradually realized how much she is really important to him.
It's not just a matter of habit, on the contrary, he really missed her.
He wants that she is there when he returned from work tired, that she's there in the morning when he wakes up, that she made breakfast for him .. just wants her to being there.

But she was gone forever.
A couple of times he took the phone. He punched in a number that is so well known that he can say it in his sleep, or wrote the message he never sent. He thought about the calls that he never realized.
She is probably happy, somewhere, far from him.
Meanwhile, he's falling apart.
People say that you don't realize what you have until you lose it. Ironically, he always considered this is pathetic and wisecracks, and now he saw how that words are truth.

Every day is the same, exactly the same, monotony is permanently encased in his life.

Sleeping too long, wake up with a terrible hangover that doesn't stop because there is no Lena to give him her potion for a hangover.
But he found a way to solve these annoying headaches caused by drinks: new drinking.
Most of his nights at all doesn't remember. Around ten o'clock in the evening, his memory suddenly disappears. In the morning, waking up only with some unrelated scene, nothing concrete what can tell him what had happened the previous night.
It suits him, it's his life.
This is what had always done, and what he wants now.. right?

Eight o'clock in the evening

Opens the door to the office.
Get out.
He sits in the car and drive home.
Changing his clothes.

Nine o'clock in the evening

Get out of the apartment.
He sits in a taxi.
Ride up to the club where waiters already know him. As soon as they see him, his drink is on the table, waiting for him.

Ten o'clock at night

After much drinks, which stopped counting after ten, the world is becoming more attractive.
The music is beautiful, everything is nice.
Why not use this beauty? He must check whether the other places is so beautiful.
Pays the bill and leave.

Eleven o'clock in the evening

Here it is, the Three Broomsticks.
Get in there, but a bit difficult to walk.
He sits at the bar and orders a new drink
He didn't even bother to look at a girl that served his drink. Better that way. In each he can see her. Every girl he met for three months have something of hers. Her eyes, hair, smile, voice, the way she moves. But none of them aren't she.

There's a point in your life when you think you have hit the bottom. You think to yourself, it can't be worse than this. You are wrong, it can. You think you can't fall deeper and with every step you take you believe you are going back to normal when it fact you're only going down. You think, the worst part is over, but then, unexpectedly, something hits you harder than the previous thing. You are left speechless and hopeless and you find yourself screaming on your knees, cursing the day you were born. But still, you're not giving up. You are trying to fight for yourself but the enemies... you never believed you had so many. But what hurts you the most is something you have just realized, your worst enemy is yourself.

It was her third month on her own and if she needed to choose one word to describe it, Helena would say disaster. Chaos, catastrophe, horror, life. But in past three months (two months and 23 days to be precise), she experienced more (bad) things than she did in her whole life. So let's recap.
First of all, she left Daniel, if it could be said like that. Not that it was what she wanted, she simply followed his will. Obviously, he wasn't ready for something more, and since he never called her in past weeks, Helena doubted he will ever be. Maybe it was for the best.
Anyways, she was on her own. On the street, once again. But this time she was ready, she learned from the first time. She found a job at the place where she met someone from her past, which is bringing us to the second point of her list.
Which are the odds that the only place she could find a well paid job was the one led by her own, let's say ex brother, who was actually not her brother but the guy named Dimitri Aleksandrov though he used to be Nikolai, but for some reason he had no idea who she was shen she walked in? And when she called him by his old nickname Kolya, he seemed more than confused, telling her his name was Dimitri. It was cool in some way, she get to be near her family though he had no idea he was the part of it.
But then she met someone else, another person from her past, Elizabeth Blackburn. Though it was hard recognizing her under the false name and stupid red wig. Elizabeth, who actually used to date her other brother who happened to be in London (which is also on her list), told her everything about Nikolai/Dimitri or however he was calling himself these days. Assuring her she will keep him save, Helena decided to stay out of the drama. But then she found out his wife whom Helena met once, on the wedding, Alessia was in London as well, with their two years old son.
Now, there were too many people who could recognize her in the same town, and that scared the hell out of her. Nikolai, Elizabeth, Kostya, Nikita and.... "Daniel?!"

Helena was polishing glasses, lost in her world, when she heard familiar voice. She hasn't seen him in long time, two months and twenty three days, not that she was counting. They say that the voice is the first thing you forget and it was true, at least n her case. So when she heard him the glass slipped her hands, fell on the floor and broke into million pieces. She was scared of meeting his gaze so instead she took her wand and made the glass whole again. The hair hid the most of her face and she had no intention of moving it. Slowly, after taking few deep breaths, she glanced up only to meet his eyes, few meters away.

Her heart stopped beating. He wasn't looking at her but in other barwoman, sipping his drink and asking for another one. He was drunk, it was more than obvious. He looked... bad. Ignoring the man who was trying to order for some time now, she approached Daniel, nervously playing with her arms. "Hey there." she said landing her elbows on the bar between them.

There is one moment, one thing that can happen and because of that your life start falling apart.
You are ready to put up with all your problems, to cope with the consequences of bad decisions and, maybe, you succeed in finding a way to happiness. And then, happens to be one thing, a single drop of water poured a glass, and then everything goes down.
In Daniel's life, that one drop was the moment when Helena went.
She left him and he is left alone, unable to cope with his demons from the past and present. The past was always there, as long as he was trying to escape from what was going on, all somehow find the way to reach him again.
He slept with a woman, married her, now he is married and does not know who is his wife.
He slept with another woman and made her child, now waiting to become a father.
He met Helena, she left him and hell, he realized that he loves her.
His life will change for a month when the baby come in his life officialy.

A month.
So he gave himself a month to be brought into line.

He know he can't acting on this way forever.
But the drink was the only thing he has now after all, everything else was disapeared.
He and his family never had a special relationship. Simply, there is too many of them and eventually all stopped worrying how others feel. If his older sister is still alive, probably would be different.
Hell, she'd know how to get him out of these problems. But no, she is dead a long time ago, and if there is a heaven, she is probably looking at him and mourns his failed life, he is sure of it.
Aria is a lovely girl, the mother of his child, but he does not love her. He'll never be able to love her. Therefore, they agreed to be just friends and great parents. It makes no sense to destroy each other's lives, trying to build a relationship for the child. He finally resigned himself to the fact that he will have a child soon, to that child he will provide everything it need, but that's all. With his mother simply can not be.
Here we come back to Helena. Sometimes, the only bright spot in his life was Helena.
Now she's not here. Honestly, he did not know where she is, how she is.. but he could not call and check.
He knew that one call or message is risk to hurting her again.
Therefore, drinking has become a short-term solution to all problems.
It destroys him, probably, but otherwise he doesn't know for other way.

Now, he is sitting here, sipping his drink and has ordered another one at the same moment. Simply, when he drinks doesn't like to wait long for a new drink.
For the first time, he looked at the girl who works here. It is the first girl who does not look like Helena; blonde hair, brown eyes, bright skin, almost sickly bright.
The girl is not at all attractive but it does not matter anyway. These days, Daniel somehow isn't in the mood for a night of adventures. He is going out to drink to forget, not to have fun.

His attention was attracted by shocked voice of a girl. Strangely, she knows his name. Or he looks just like another guy named Daniel.
Or maybe this is the girl with whom he slept and now she is pregnant?
He looked up at that moment, he was quite sure he is hallucinating.
That girl, she looked just like Helena. He does not know whether this is a sign of fate, Helena's long-lost twin sister or is he just so drunk that allowed alcohol to be messed with his brain and make it look like this girl is Helena.
Usually the girls he meets have something of hers, a smile, eyes .. but this one has it all. She looks identically like Helena.
He smiled stupidly as he looked at the girl and then shook his head.
"You know," he said slowly. He already had problems with compiling meaningful sentence and paused as he tried to figure out what to say.
"I know it's stupid and probably imprudent to say that when a pretty girl approached to you, but" he paused again, but not because he doesn't know what to say but because of uncontrolled laughter. After a few moments he managed to calm down himself and he looked again at the girl.
"Do you have a long lost twin sister? I mean, maybe I'm hallucinating, if so, I apologize but .. You look exactly like my ex-girlfriend" again began to laugh, shaking his head.

"You are right, it's very rude."
Helena's first impression was the same as always, he was pretty, his laugh made her smile, he was funny and drunk which made him even more cuter than he was. She wanted to hug him and kiss him and hold him but it was impossible. "You're not hallucinating, and I don't have a twin sister, as far as I know. But you know me better than anyone." she smirked, deciding to play his game. It was safe since he was obviously too drunk to know that the woman in front of him was really her. Though, this might be the only time that she really wanted someone to recognize her. Karma.
But she was okay with this, as long as he was there, as long as she could watch him, she was okay with the fact that he doesn't know who she is. Apparently, it was the thing nowadays. First Nikolai, now Daniel (though he was just drunk). Helena moved forward, placing her chin on the crossed arms. She watched him with barely visible smile. "Or, maybe I'm lying. Maybe this is all in your head. Maybe you just missed me too much so you started seeing me everywhere. I don't really now, I'm hoping you'll share your theory with me."

She bit her lip, giving her best to stay serious but the smile kept showing on her face. She poured him another drink and placed the glass in front of him. As she started saying something the other barwoman approached her saying her shift was over. Helena nodded, gazing back at Daniel. "So, you wanna buy me a dring or two? Hold that thought, I'll be back in the minute."

She went in the back room where she changed her clothes. She caught her reflection in the mirror while she was leaving the room. She was wearing simple dark green dress with long sleeves and black boots. She was scared he won't be there when she comes but thankfully, he was. Truth to be told, she would probably start crying right there if she didn't have the chance to ask about his life and his unborn child. She sat on the chair next to him. "So, were is my drink?"

"Rude? But I didn't say anything rude to you," he frowned slightly, trying to remember exactly his words.
Of course, this wasn't possible. Instead, only shook his head and drank until the end of his drink. Of course, a glass immediately disappeared and before him was already a new drink.
He looked at her, puzzled, "How can I know you better than anyone else? I don't even know your name! This is the first time in my life to see you!" he shook his head and looked at her like she was crazy.
As he looked at this girl, sincerely wanted instead her against him standing Helena.
But if she is there, what would he say to her? That he loved her, that he was missing and was probably on his knees asking her to come back, because without her, he is slow and painful breakup.
He shook his head again, but now he laughed uncontrolled.
"Nice try, beautiful. I miss her too much, it is a fact, in every girl I see something her .. But, I do not have hallucinations, you just look like her," he shrugged and took another sip of his drink.
"There is no theory, just the way it is," he shrugged, "but I don't need to bother you with my problems. Cheers" raised his glass disrupt her like a toast and drank the contents of the cup.

Girl said something about it to buy her a drink and then disappeared? Maybe she just changed her mind. This is good for two reasons: the first is that he doesn't know what she drinks, and the second is that he is aware he doesn't want anything to do with her. Simply, if rejected all other reasons, remains a morbid thought to be with a girl who looks exactly like Helena.

However, after a few moments, the girl returned into the beautiful dark-green dress.
Helena has a similar. Otherwise he wouldn't pay attention to it, because frankly, he is not obsessed with clothing, but similar dress he bought to Helena because he thought she would like to have one.
He looked at her, confused.
"I don't know what you're drinking, feel free to order and I will pay but" he paused and make serious face. At least he thought it was serious, because of drunkenness, it was more like grimace than a serious face.
"I have to be honest with you. You're beautiful but between us nothing will happen. I do not want to give you false hope, I love my ex girlfriend. The fact is that I only realized that when she was gone, but so is" the sincere and Then he turned back to his drink, wondering where is Helena now, what is she doing and most importantly, whether she found someone with whom she is happy?

"Tequila. It's always tequila." She didn't have to order since the woman already knew what she'll take. She was drinking the same drink after work for weeks. Helena looked at her ex lover, giving her best to remember every inch of his face. It's funny how you can easily forget the look of someone, even if you love him as much as she loved Daniel. And it was painful, how she couldn't remember his face clearly at nights while trying to fell asleep. But that only made this moment more precious. She fought the need to touch his face but the fact that he was drunk didn't help her at all. He probably won't mind it and he definitely won't remember it. And if he does, he might think it was just a dream. Before she found a reason not to, while her heart was beating faster than ever, she placed her hand on his cheek."You should shave."

Among the things she wanted to tell him, this was the stupidest fact and also the only thing that she actually could say. It felt stupid and he was probably more confused than her, so she moved her hand away, grabbing her glass. She took a sip of a liquor that burned her throat and yet she loved the feeling. Sweet pain that will make her feel better about herself, braver and more stupid as well. Biting her lip, she found herself thinking about all the intimate moments they shared. She could feel her cheeks burning red as her heart was beating slightly faster than usual. She closed her eyes taking a big breath before she looked at him again. "If you... If you loved her, why did you ever let her go?" She let her hair fell over her face, hiding her cheeks. It was possible that he was too drunk to notice but she didn't want him to see she was uncomfortable either way. But the way he talked about the woman he loved not knowing that she was sitting right next to him made her feel so sad. Because he was scared to tell her when she needed him, when she asked him. And because he was too drunk so she had no idea whether it was true or not.

"Don't worry Daniel, I love you too much to use you in the way you think I will. You took care of me when I needed you, and as much as I want to be with you, I won't do anything tonight. Cheers!" She drank the rest of her drink, giving the sign to the barwoman to get her another. "So, how about talking? I miss talking with you. How's life? Did she... Did she gave birth yet?" Does she really wanna know? Yes, even though the answer might hurt her more than anything, she needed to know.

When she told him what she wants to drinl he looked at her incredulously. Another similarity.
"Helena always drinks tequila." He frowned for a moment before he found a way to make sense of the story.
"You know, I'll tell you the same thing which I said to her. A lot of tequila is not healthy, you know? You better stop drinking that," he shook his head as a great thinker. It's ironically when a drunken person is giving someone a lecture about alcohol.
With each drink his eyesight was getting weaker and he knew that he will probably faint if he does not stop drinking. His body was probably a miracle of nature when it's capable of withstanding such a large amount of alcohol every night.
Still, he was not drunk enough to prevent rapid heartbeat that began in the moment he saw her hand which approaches his face.
When he felt her touch on one small moment everything was clear, in the world there was nothing except that little innocent touch.
He laughed at her comment and looked into her eyes, "Actually, I don't want to shave these days. Some people say I'm sexy with beard, do not you agree?".

He laughed at her question, shaking his head.
"My dear friend whom I do not know the name," he paused for a moment so he could look at her before he continued, "you'd be surprised how the answer is simple. I did not tell her because I was not aware of how much I love her, very simply, is not it? Just another pathetic love story, "he shrugged and drank another drink.

He has really drank so he didn't noticed her redness as well as her attempt to hide it from him.
Her next question really confused him. What is she talking about?
"Who is pregnant? Helena is not pregnant, as far as I know," he looked at her, confused.
She knew his name, he does not remember that he said her but good, it does not matter. Her words puzzled him. She loves him too much? However, now he did not want to bother it.
He stood up holding onto a table before he put down money on the bar for their drinks.
"It was nice to meet you beautiful and talk to you, but I think I should go home," he smiled and then approached her and kissed her cheek.
He walked to the door staggered and then stopped while in his pocket he found the key to his car.