Whenever I close my eyes, I picture you there.

Mairen lifted her chin to look at Theodore properly as he moved towards her, but she cradled the flowers in her arms closer to her as though she might just drop them. And she nearly did, upon hearing the explanation. She really just wanted to toss them and wrap Theodore in a hug for his thoughtfulness. But that felt like a pointed jab at Scorpius, and although she had that Gryffindor recklessness sometimes, she was not naive enough to pass over the fact that it might hurt him. She cared, obviously, even if he had hurt her a few times in the past. Even if most of his family could not stand the idea that he was interested - if he even was, anymore.

Completely unaware of the nerves that were rumbling through Theodore, she looked over at the blond, wondering what sort of odd trio the three of them made in that office. When he finished his reasoning for putting the carnation in her office, her cheeks colored and she cracked a smile that surprised even her. "That's really sweet, Theo. You didn't have to get me anything, though, considering..."

She wanted to say, Considering I'm living at your house, or maybe, Considering my gift was a bit mental, anyway. But then he continued, and the red of her cheeks brightened, and Mairen found herself wondering if her skin was actually burning. It felt like it.

Although she was surprised at his coming a little early for lunch, Mairen supposed that, now that she was no longer just an intern at the Ministry, she could probably go off at whichever hour she pleased so long as she got her work done. And that would be ridiculously easy, since she knew that her focus would be trained on her papers instead of the blond sat across from her, provided he didn't distract her. That, though, was almost inevitable with their past hovering tensely between them.

"I- yeah," she agreed, registering - not for the first time, really - that Theodore was far more kind than even he seemed to realize most days. After all, the first time she had told him he was kind, he had been embarrassed. "That sounds lovely."

She didn't appreciate, though, that the two men were seemingly determined to glare each other down. Shifting the flowers into her arm, Mairen reached out to settle her fingers around Theodore's elbow. "Hey," she started, addressing him before turning to look at Scorpius. "You two need to cool down, okay? Theo, grab some flowers, yeah? I've got to be back in time to get some work done."

She released his arm to gather up some of the ones on her desk, and found herself unable to help glancing up at Scorpius and trying to make eye contact. Eventually, she wanted to hear his explanation, because she realized too late that he had not been given a chance to do so. She felt an incredible need to understand, even if that meant she could get hurt. She had already been hurt; how much worse could it get, right? She tried, through her gaze, to assure him that he was not going to be ignored. They had far too much history for that, after all.

"Right, of course," the wizard stated smoothly as he watched Mairen gather some of the flowers. Of course when the witch had though he was responsible for them, they were a nuisance and something to be mad about. But now that Mairen had discovered they were the doing of Theodore, the gesture was really sweet. Well, that was fine. Totally fine. Scorpius didn't care at all that Mairen was living with the Rookwood and that he left a multiplying flower in her office to cheer her up and that they were now going out to lunch. He didn't care. Not one bit.

Okay, so maybe Scorpius cared. A lot. That didn't matter though, because it was pretty damn obvious that his input was neither wanted nor would be accepted. And that was fine, totally fine. If Scorpius was bleeding a little bit inside nobody had to know. Malfoy masks had never been so useful.

"You two pop off to lunch, I'll be working," the man continued, sliding gracefully into his chair. Lifiting his wand to cast a charm intended to block out all noise, Scorpius turned to the stack of files on his desk and flipped the first one open. Pulling out a self-inking quill from the inside of his jacket, the man began to read through the papers, underlining and annotating as he went. The blond studiously ignored the presence of the other two, but the office was so small that he could practically feel Mairen and Theodore's body heat, even through the still-falling snow.

"Oh, and Mairen," Scorpius called out just as she was about to leave, "congratulations on your promotion." The spell was still in place, so the man couldn't hear the woman's response, if there was a response at all. The wizard was still looking studiously way from the pair, leaving him unable to read her lips if she had. One thing was certain, their reuniting had certainly not gone how Scorpius had hoped.

(ooc: Seriously sorry for the thesaurus searching that happened during this post. But I suppose you'd get why. Sort of my thing for times like these. Sorry it's so long D: )


Caraphernelia. Mairen knew that word, the feeling well ingrained within her by now. The feeling of being abandoned but left with memories or items, but not the person themselves. Scorpius wasn't the only one who had done it to her, but he was the instigator for her father doing it to her, too. Again.

It was strange. She had made a point of getting back to the office early, and she still wasn't sure if it was because he had mentioned her promotion, or if she just wanted to see him again and be sure that he was actually back. The worst, of course, had been the time when she was left in his flat on her own. That had been disorienting and painful, considering everything was a reminder and she didn't know how to deal with it. How could she avoid it when it surrounded her, and continued to pull at her heartstrings like it had the actual control over her life? She sure had not felt like she was in control. She wasn't sure, though, if she could really feel that way again. She had lost so much in those months that it seemed impossible for her to fully comprehend the idea of being "in control" anymore.

But beside the problems that came with dealing with what he left behind, Mairen had to admit to another thing. Atelophobia. The fear of not being good enough - for anyone. It wasn't just about him anymore, though it had certainly started out that way. And rightly so, she felt. But now it was with anyone. Sure, she could pretend that things were normal with Theodore, and that she didn't expect him to ask her to leave one day. But she did. She was sure he would. She just hadn't been able to bring herself to find her own place yet, and for that she felt like a coward. And, Gryffindor that she was, she did not like that idea one bit.

She walked into the building, fidgeting outside of her - their - office door, but forced herself to go through doorway and into the room. When she had left Theodore, she had been smiling. Her walk back to the building had brought out the more reflective side of her, though, and caused the return of that feeling of needing to hide from people. She didn't want to return home that night only to find that Theodore asked her about how the rest of her day was. Mairen didn't want to have to explain that she was waiting for his betrayal like someone who just knew that the person they wanted didn't want them in return. Or, perhaps their person wanted someone, and they just happened to be around for the time being. Their person wanted someone, but that someone wasn't them. She understood that feeling well, after her assumptions about Scorpius, and with her parents, and now she was sitting in wait of it with Theodore.

It would happen eventually. It always did.

And she wasn't even sure if she wanted him! Part of her suggested that she might, but what did she know, really, when that subject had never found reason to be breached - even mentally. She had no hint that it was a possibility, even though a part of her felt it could be. Comments meant as jokes were questioned now, and she simply couldn't help it. She wasn't brilliant at telling when people were joking, anyway. It only made things worse when she had an emotional investment that she didn't understand.

When she finally looked up at Scorpius, she was planning on greeting him or, really, just saying anything that might be remotely construed as friendly, but then she remembered that he had cast some spell before she left, so she wasn't sure that he wanted her to. Instead, she pulled her chair back and sank into it, aware of the fact that her eyebrows were pulling together in discomfort and confusion and, honestly, disappointment. But she couldn't help it. She had never been able to hide her feelings very well - especially around him. She decided that it would probably be better to get back to work instead.

But then she remembered that one of her cases was actually regarding Theodore. The file was open on her desk before it fully registered, and she found herself staring down at it. Finally, she couldn't hold herself back anymore, and spoke without even lifting her eyes from the page.

"I know you don't like Theo," she began slowly, trying to figure how to ask him without seeming unfeeling. After all, she didn't want him to think that she only asked him because it would help Theodore. True, she hoped it would do so. But she also needed a proper 'in' with him, if she wanted to finally understand what had happened. "But I've got a bit of a problem on my case. A... conflict of interests, I suppose. Provided he agrees to it... would you be interested in at least helping me tackle his case? It's that or I need to find someone else who will take it completely, because... I just can't see it going well with it just being me."

(OOC: I love the thesaurus searching! And I'll certainly forgive you for the length of your post, as long as you forgive me for the relative shortness of mine.))

Scorpius Malfoy had canceled the spell less that five minutes after Mairen and Theodore had left the office. It hurt his pride, a little, to so. In casting the counter-incantation, he was forced to admit that the spell had not been due to his own need for silence, but rather his inability to concentrate as long as Theodore and Mairen were conversing. For a short while, the silence had been helpful, but anything gained from the lack of noise quickly wore off. Instead, the silence only served the purpose of reminding the man exactly how alone he was. Scorpius had canceled the spell within seconds of that realization.

The scratch of his own quill became rather soothing after that, lulling the man's mind into a steady rhythm that needed far less brainpower than one would expect of legal jargon. The state the wizard allowed himself to fall into felt a little like floating, and for a precious short amount of time Scorpius was aware of nothing but the work before him. The blond loved this feeling, getting it occasionally when calculating shipment costs or tax returns for Honeydukes. This feeling was most often found, however, at the bottom of a good bottle of alcohol. Very little could get the wizard out of his own mind like a nice drink or six.

Scorpius didn't look up as Mairen began to speak, instead continuing to scratch away, unsure if this was something he was meant to hear. Remaining fairly still for a few more seconds after the woman had fallen silent, just incase there was more, the blond slowly raised his head.

"Of course I'll help," he responded almost immediately, after searching Mairen's face for eye contact. "Cases where you're involved with the client can be," Scorpius wrinkled his noise as he searched for the correct way to complete his sentence, "challenging." And didn't the Malfoy heir know it, he'd been called to defend a girl he'd spent months messing around with, once. That had been difficult. Even worse than that, was the time he'd taken a case with the goal of prosecuting man who was a business partner of his father. He hadn't known that upon accepting the case, of course, but that hasn't made the whole situation any less ugly.

"I don't dislike Theodore," Scorpius informed Mairen slowly, "it's just that I don't like him either." It was the truth, surprisingly. The blond didn't hate the Rookwood. He absolutely loathed the man that was with Mairen, but it wasn't anything personal, Scorpius would have felt that way about any male who could call Mairen their own. Any male that wasn't himself.

(ooc: totally fine. Mine is extra short xD )

She couldn't bring herself to look up at Scorpius, until he said that she was 'involved' with Theodore. Her gaze snapped up to his, annoyance shining through. He didn't have to phrase it like that, did he? It made it all sound scandalous in a way that didn't apply, as far as she knew. In truth, she was more confident with interactions between herself and Esme than herself and the girl's father.

Her gaze drifted briefly to the carnation on her desk, which had somehow managed to keep itself singular. Perhaps she hadn't triggered the specific emotions that Theodore had set it up for. Or perhaps she was so subconsciously pleased that he was back that it was counteracting the confusion she felt. And, really, she was more confused than anything else. Not that it made things much better.

"Right," she murmured. For a moment, she was almost disappointed by the fact that he actually was not upset. But she did her best to cover it so the flower wouldn't catch on. It sounded mad, but in her head it made perfect sense. "Well, I'll have to ask him about how he wants to handle it... I mean, I'm not even sure that he has fully decided on letting me lead it."

Realizing that the topic had been a virtual dead end, she reached her right hand up to mess with her hair, pushing it behind her ear several times before finally breaking and blurting out: "So, - Um. So earlier you said you wanted to tell me what happened. Did you... did you want to do that now, or... wait...?"

"Of course," Scorpius backtracked quickly. It was always up to the client. Hell, for all Scorpius knew, Theodore might not want the blond anywhere near his case. Although, if the other man thought Scoprius would do something as dumb as sabotage it, he deserved to loose. After all, the Malfoy's own reputation was on the line just as much as whatever the Rookwood had needed a lawyer for. If Scorpius was the type to cluck his tongue, he would be doing so now. He could never understand how clients would come to a lawyer, only to decide not to listen to the experts. He would never understand the idiocy.

"Yes, yes, now. That would be good," Scorpius replied almost instantly, snapping up the chance quickly, just in case Mairen changed her mind about wanting to talk. Dropping the quill that was still held in his hand onto the parchment, Scorpius leaned back in his chair. Tapping his middle finger lightly on the underside of his desk anxiously, the man gathered all his courage. There wasn't much.

"Look, Mairen, Mai. You were just so miserable. I know you tried to walk around with a smile and all that, but you'd lost your voice. That's got to be hard on anyone, but for you? I had to... I sent out some feelers, looking for someone who might know something, have experience with that sort of thing, even know anything that might help. I heard back from someone who knew this guy in the Ukraine and I just left. Didn't even think twice about it. I went to this man and he was old, really old, so he told me what I'd need but couldn't really help. Then in the process of gathering ingredients I might've gotten hurt. I'm fine now, so don't worry! That was a nightmare though, 'cause I was in the middle of nowhere in Kazakhstan and nobody spoke English, or French, or even Latin. And I did tried to write, I swear, but everything I put on paper sounded so dumb that I just couldn't bring myself to send it," Scorpius informed the witch, words getting faster and faster the longer he talked, all Malfoy cool completely abandoned. Good Merlin, he'd been more eloquent than this at fifteen.

Gathering himself back together with a breath, the blond pulled an ornate potion vial and a small scroll with a ritualistic incantation out of the inside lining of his coat. Placing them on the desk before him, Scorpius smiled wryly, mask slamming back over his expression as if disguised that he'd allowed himself to loose control, "I guess these weren't exactly needed."

Mairen was angry.... but she wasn't, at the same time. At least he had meant well by it, she supposed. She didn't mean to do it, but her head tilted to the side as the thought crossed her mind, right about when Scorpius's speech picked up and he became more ill-composed than even when he thought she was going to leave or thought she would turn down his proposal. Oh. She had sort of forgotten that it had never been officially called off. Did that mean they were technically still engaged? She wasn't sure. Perhaps that was part of her subconscious efforts to keep away from Theodore. That, and the fact that his pureblood family had already disliked his first wife. What would they do with her if anything ever happened?

Not that it was relevant, of course. She had no reason to think that it was, except perhaps for how well she was getting on with Esme. But that didn't totally count. It wasn't a good enough reason for anything to form between the redhead and the Rookwood. Not remotely.

But she sat up properly again and did her very best to fully comprehend his words. He was right to clarify that he was doing well, considering an anxious expression crossed her features and she flashed her gaze over the part of him that she could see above his desk, looking for proof of it. Even though there wasn't any, he was speaking too openly and without the usual grace that accompanied his attempts at keeping his composure, so she had no choice but to assume he was being honest about it. It wasn't as though she didn't have a rebuttal, though, despite his choice to be truthful.

"But," she returned, staring down at the items he put on the desk in front of them, "but you could have at least said something. I thought-... I mean, your family even blamed me for it!" she complained, frowning at the papers on her desk so she wouldn't have to say it directly to his face. Technically, at least. "I waited for more than two weeks before I couldn't stand living in and among your things but without you there to use them. And then I decided to go drop things at my father's until I found a place, except he left as well. So when I had gathered my things into boxes -- again -- and decided to hunt after work one day, I ran into Theo. And he offered me his spare room.

"But before we met again, he and I, well... I just needed to get away from other peoples' homes. So I went to a pub, and ended up meeting this man who knows a lot about potions. He figured out quite quickly what the problem was, given I was writing angry notes to him when he tried to talk to me. I should, umm.. I should probably apologize in advance, in case you ever meet him, by the way. We were both drinking, and I thought you weren't coming back, so I... might have let him kiss me. I'm certain nothing else happened, but, you know... I thought you should hear it from me before he decides to be rude and bring it up. If he does. I don't know. Anyway," she rushed on, ready to be past the need to protect herself later, "he knows a bunch about potions, like I said. And he seems to do a lot with the dark arts, though I'm not sure if he was actually proud of it, or if he just had studied it out of curiosity. But, either way, Albus sorted out something to help me, and so far it's sticking. It hasn't been too long, really. When I ran into Theo I practically forgot I was more or less normal again."

Shaking her head, Mairen twined her fingers together in her lap and fidgeted a bit. She wasn't sure if the feeling inside of her was guilt or hurt anymore, and half of her just wanted him to walk around the desk and pull her into a hug to prove that it wasn't all totally wrong. Of course, there were a number of reasons why it certainly should be considered wrong. But she didn't like it one bit, and what she really wanted, more than anything, was some kind of closure. Anything that would make the weird feelings go away and allow her to be sarcastic and more clever, as she had once been around him. Or, at the least, had tried to be.

"My family blamed you for it?" Scorpius shot out quizzically the second Mairen stopped speaking. "Really? I'm positive Ces knew better than that, at the very least. Besides, this is hardly the first time I've..." the man trailed off. Really, that was a story for another day. He'd been young, confused, and utterly lost. But the ex-Slytherin had found his place in the world, eventually, and those months were nothing but a distant memory.

"Look Mai," the blond said, frustration blatantly obvious in his tone, "I'm not like you. I'm not good at talking and feelings and all that dragon dung! I can't- I'm not brave either. Honesty is confusing and difficult to understand and hard. It's just, it's really bloody hard, okay. I'm not good at that. I don't even know how! I didn't say anything because I knew I'd never leave if I did, and I didn't write because honesty is hard enough when I can see your face and aren't hundreds of miles away!"

Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, because there was no way he was going to do this with his eyes open, "I'm sorry," Scorpius said softly, "I should have communicated somehow." Lids flickering open, the wizard locked eyes with Mairen once more and said, "but I will not apologize for leaving. I won't.

Laughing bitterly, noise morphing into a true chuckle after only a few moments, the Malfoy bit at his lip in order to control his hysterics. "Albus F***!ng Potter, why am I not surprised?" Scorpius asked rhetorically, not even bothering to hide the sarcasm in his words.

"So it seems you met my best friend, and my worst bloody enemy," the blond muttered, not caring if he had been loud enough for the witch to hear him. Knowing he would need to explain at least a little, Scorpius licked at his bottom lip in order to stall for a small amount of time.

"Albus and I were dormmates, at school. Damn near inseparable, really, when we weren't trying to curse each other's limb off," Scorpius admitted, "in case you're wondering, he's very proud of his darker knowledge. Usually hides it pretty well, though." Shaking his head slightly, as if internally berating himself for getting off track, the man continued, "in our seventh year we had a falling out, to put it lightly. He very nearly killed me, not on purpose, but I wasn't the most forgiving lad back then. I got my revenge and we just sort of, mutually agreed to ignore each other's existence from then on. Didn't so much as speak to him again until about a year ago. I would have gone to him, I just wasn't exactly sure if he'd be willing to help after, well, everything. I am glad he helped you, though, glad you're better." Scorpius forced a smile here, and could only hope it was as convincing as he'd tried to make it.

"I'd much rather you stay away from Albus, in future," Scorpius said, before realizing that he no longer had any claim on what the witch did and didn't do, "or at least stay on your guard around him. He's not a bad person he's just, he's dangerous. And the company he keeps is even more so." It hurt, to know that he was no longer included in the company that Albus kept. Hell, once upon at time, Scorpius had been the bad influence.

The wizard would be lying if he said he wasn't glad to hear of how Mairen had moved in with Theodore. Still, Scorpius had seen the way the other male had looked at her. That certainly hadn't been the look of a man who just wanted to help out a friend.

Mairen flummoxed, trying to find the words to explain. "I don't want to rag on your family, okay? I don't. But it certainly seemed like they thought I was the bad guy in all of this. And I'm not saying that you were that person, so don't get me wrong. It didn't help, though. It wasn't as though I could have gone to them for help or anything. I had to actually sneak a meeting with Isadora, if that tells you anything."

Which reminded her: he didn't know. Merlin, he needed to know, didn't he? Everyone else did. But would Scorpius take it the way Keiran had? The older Slytherin had wanted to walk straight up to Ana and threaten her - or worse. She didn't need the fear of the man in front of her doing the same thing.

At first, she thought his comments about being different were going to be some sort of insult. And, really, she couldn't put her finger on why that was, considering he had obviously tried to help her. But she actually felt herself shrink a bit at his tone and at the first sentence of his attempted explanation about feelings. The damned flower spawned another, and Mairen shot it a furious look. How dare the thing give her away? Theodore had meant well, and on any other day she would have loved it. But it was really making her all the more opaque when it came to what she was feeling, and Mairen wasn't at all sure that she was comfortable with that idea, yet. At least, not around him, anyway.

She found herself nodding as he announced that she would not be receiving a real apology for his having gone off without her. It wasn't a nod of understanding or agreement, though. More one of feeling resigned to the fact. It didn't matter, apparently, that she had felt utterly abandoned, and by the two people she was supposed to be able to trust most (not including her mother, who didn't often count, anyway): her father, and the man she thought she would have forever with. So she rolled her lips together to keep from saying anything. He was trying, she knew, and that was something at least.

A very embarrassed part of her realized she was staring once he laughed and bit his lip. It was almost absurd, the idea that she was watching him like that. But honestly, she had never been able to help it. Whether or not he was doing it on purpose, it had certainly squashed out the fuse of frustration that had been boiling under the surface. Still, when he spoke she felt her heart leap in her chest, cheeks burning with the guilt she suddenly felt. Of course, she would have the terrible - yet lucky - fortune of running into the one person he probably would not have wanted her to spend time with. And, worse yet, she had let him kiss her, and had kissed him right back. She would have felt all the more terrible were it not for a voice in her head reminding her that she had felt too alone to truly consider the consequences at the time.

In the end, all she could think to say was, "Oh. Sorry," as she let her eyebrows tug together expressively, and as her gaze fell to the papers on her desk once more. "It isn't like either of us were aware that the other knew you, though. To be fair."

A moment came in which Mairen had to wonder what he did when he came back and was unable to find her there. She lifted her chin once more, trying to find any words to make the situation okay. For a breath, she half wanted to get up, walk around the desk, and sit atop his like she used to. But instead, she just gave a weak attempt at a smile before looking away again.