The Matter of Survival and of Family; Our Family.

The sun had barely risen over the horizon that was still inky with night-time and already, Athena Rookwood had gotten up several times. She had been foolish or perhaps selfless enough to take it upon herself to care for the youngest daughters of her father-in-law as well as her own sons and it was no easy task but with a little bit of magic and patience, Athena was beginning to get the hang of it and, thankfully, the nearly-four-year-old Aurelia was keen to help Athena despite being understandably irritable at being woken up. Athena had pointed out many a time that the child did not have to help but the girl was insistent and even found a way round the wards Athena had put up around her room to block out the sound of the children. She was a witch, in every sense of the world.

Thankfully that morning, Aurelia had chosen to sleep and Athena enlisted the help of her House Elves to ensure Cecilia was fed and put back to bed lest her lungs actually broke the wards. Athena had been careful to put wards up around the children’s rooms. No sound could be heard anywhere else in the house and Athena had also put wards around her room, that of Augustus’ and Katarina’s so that all could get sleep. Merlin knew they needed it and Athena was not going to deprive them of it because little squawking wizards and witches needed feeding.

Of course, problematically, Athena wouldn’t know when the children were unhappy but of course the witch found a way round that and promptly found a watch which she charmed to vibrate every time mischief was occurring. Ironically, the watch was only useful for the girls. Athena’s breasts kept tandem with the boys and so often she was in the nursery before they even thought to ask for their feed. She repeatedly scorned herself for choosing to forgo the wet nurse and wondered why she just couldn’t put them on cow’s milk. But she soothed herself with the notion that these were her sons and the best they could have could only be provided by her. She wasn’t going to be put off by the clockwork of it if it meant they could achieve even more in their lives.

But what had gotten her up that morning were nightmares. She had extracted herself as carefully as she could from Kendall, replacing her body with a pillow for him to hold, and had slipped out to check on the girls. Aurelia had woken up; citing a clown that looked like one of her uncle’s the reason for her bad dream. Athena held her tongue and instead sang the girl a soft lullaby before lowering her, asleep, back into her bed and tucking her in. Cecilia only needed to be fed the once before she dropped back off but it was Athena’s boys that were the real trouble. They didn’t want food, they didn’t want sleep but they wanted to play. Now, just to reassure you, she did not strangle her sons but she did, in the end, manage to get them back to sleep.

So by the time the sun had risen and movement began in the kitchens, Athena crawled back into bed with her husband ready for another eight hours sleep. She knew that though this was trying on her, she was easing all of their suffering. She kept the girls as ignorant as possible concerning what had happened to their mother and amused them as best as she could during the day. She slept fitfully in the night, waking up to attend to some or all of them – the awful nights being the latter – and all the while she allowed the others to sleep. She even occasionally, in her bleary-eyed state, went to check on Katarina and Augustus. Though the latter did not sleep nearly as much as his daughter, both were safe and sound and only after that would she trot back off to bed.

Athena’s head it the pillow rather unceremoniously and she threw the one between her and Kendall down towards the bottom of the bed. Her cold hands found his chest and she wriggled her hands through the gap between his torso and his arm. She looped her arm around his waist and drew herself in close to him, burying her head as best she could into the crook of his neck before exhaling, feeling the warmth of his body and that of the bed sink into her chilled skin once more.

To sleep would have been heavenly but the Gods were not on Athena’s side. Less than a couple of minutes after she had found a comfortable spot on/around Kendall, a tentative knock on the door provided their wake-up call.

Athena looked up to see a House Elf bustle in with a tray of tea and what they called ‘nibbles’ which was Athena’s idea of breakfast – or was until she came downstairs the first time as a proper Rookwood. The woman smiled gratefully at the House Elf and disentangled herself from Kendall once more, rolling out of bed having none of the patience or the grace left to lift herself from the pit that they called their bed.

The woman made her way over to the table where the tea tray had been left and noticed the way the House Elf had placed their post down too. Athena flicked through the post absent-mindedly, amused to find that her only letter was from her cousin Ira letting her know that he was keen to come and visit the twins whenever she had the time. Kendall had countless bits of guff that Athena knew he wouldn’t care to read and as she scanned each letter she only found one particularly note-worthy: from the Ministry, offering him a job in the Department of Mysteries.

“Short memories,” Athena murmured to herself.

Placing the post down, Athena poured out a cup of tea for Kendall but made coffee for herself – different drinks for different purposes. Kendall needed the tea to come round, Athena needed the coffee to wake up her tired brain. Athena then made her way back over to the bed, cups in hand, and set them down on the table. She lowered herself back down onto the bed and reached out for her husband.

Athena’s hands found Kendall’s hair and she idly began to curl her fingers through his dark locks. He was at peace like that, asleep. His worried face, lined by grief he did not wish to show, disappeared and as he dreamed, he smiled. Athena laid herself back down, leaving two warming charms on the cups, and crawled under the covers, wrapping them around their bodies upon finding that Kendall’s was cold. The brunette then leaned forward and rubbed her nose, coloured red with the cold, against her husband’s. Athena didn’t say anything. She didn’t dare coax him away from the happiness of his dream, of sleep. She instead left him to choose whether to carry on dreaming of not.

And if Athena was to be honest, she would have rather he did. Not because she didn’t want to see him but because she just didn’t want to have to catch that look on his face when he realised, yet again, that he woke up to a world in which he had no mother and once again, the grief struck as if it were completely new. She loathed that because each time he tried to pretend it didn’t hurt, each time he stopped and took in a short breath of horror upon realisation, it killed her.

The sun shone bright, fiercely even, against his back. Yet, he relished it and patted at the side of the sandcastle he was building. Mumma, look! He ran to her, eager to prove he could build a castle, for her. The woman turned, her face hidden from the sun’s rays by the large flap of her summer hat. Setting her drink down, she offered her outstretched arm to him. Quickly, he tumbled into her arms and couldn’t stop giggling as she teased him with tickles at his sides. Then, grabbing both her hands, he began to tell her about the story of his castle. Kisses were planted all over his face, and he fell back into the comfort of his mother’s arms, oblivious to the sound of the waves.

And then, suddenly, she pointed back at the sea. Quickly, he turned to see the waves messing with his sandcastle. Quick, go, save it! Together, they ran for it. There were rocks, suddenly, and he tripped. There were too many rocks, and they began to hurt him as he rolled towards the sea. When he got to where he thought his sandcastle was, it was gone. There was nothing but flat, wet land. Looking up, he shouted. Mumma! Where was she? He stood up and began to run along the waves, falling a few times when it got too strong. Where was she? And then he stopped, and looked to the sea. Far, far away into the sea, almost impossible to see, he saw the flap of the summer hat. And then, he screamed.

Kendall woke with a sharp jerk. There was a ring in his ears, and he wondered if he screamed his way awake. Yet, he felt the tears by his eyes. Embarrassed, he made to get them away from him, swiftly, almost maniacally. And in that moment, he wanted to rip out his mind. As if it wasn’t enough that being awake hurt his being, but it seems his dreams are not spared either. What hurt more was how hard he had to fight to be okay. He was okay. He was a man now. Why did he need his mother? Suddenly, he felt a pair of eyes on him. He knew he was watched. He knew, too, that she had been watching him from his very waking second. Kendall shut his eyes, refusing to admit anything, hoping that the questions wouldn’t come. He was Kendall Rookwood. He was unfazed, by anything and everything. It was cold, suddenly, so cold. Still averting his eyes from his wife, the man grabbed for the covers and threw them over his body, refusing to confront his waking hour.

There was an incredible need to find Athena in the midst of the covers, and to hide in her. Yet, he would not. He could not. The fact that he needed her was bad enough. He didn’t have to show it. Kendall felt his jaws clench as he fought back the tears, forcing himself to take deep breaths as he countered a need that he didn’t allow. Then, he knew he was being childish. He couldn’t hide forever. Blinking hard, he forced himself to regain composure. Kendall felt the muscles of his body ease as he set his mind in a direction that he very much preferred compared to his waking one. Hoping that his face would now reveal nothing, he began to pull the covers slowly away from his face, allowing it to rest against his chest instead. Still, he couldn’t hide the embarrassment. It wasn’t everyday that he was like that in the presence of Athena, even if she was the woman he had decided to spend his life with.

“Hey, sunshine.” He began with what he hoped to be a genuine smile on his face. Kendall took in his wife’s face, allowing himself to let her eyes calm him down. Reaching for her face with just a finger, he bit his lower lip unwittingly, and felt the touch of her skin as he found her cheek. “What have you got for me today?” He smirked. He was going to be normal. He needed to be, both for his sanity and, he thought, hers.

The peace that had enveloped the pair had allowed Athena a moment to take her guard down and so it was more of a shock than ever when Kendall jolted awake. Athena’s hands sprung from his face and her skin was assaulted by the elements that had swept in to attack when the covers had been inadvertently pushed away. Athena propped herself up, her eyebrows furrowing as she felt hurt and confusion pang together in her belly. Her hand reached out for Kendall but just as she was about to touch him, he turned away, pulling the covers up over his head. Athena bit her lip, swallowing back a sigh, and instead paced herself, closing her eyes and mentally making herself aware of the need for patience. She needed to trust him to come around to her.

In the end he did but Athena could see the redness in his eyes and that seemingly innate sadness had returned. The woman steeled herself, determined that if need be, she would find time to remove herself and scream and cry to her own heart’s content at the unfairness of it all. They’d all been robbed of something. Athena had not known Cordelia well but she had bonded with the woman over pregnancy guff and they’d come to be quite affectionate towards each other. And then she was gone. Athena had not felt the loss as personally as the others but she still felt the same confusion of emotions and the tightness in her chest as a result of all of the other strained individuals in the house.

But they all pretended. All of them did. Even Katarina who’s young face didn’t strike Athena as one that could bear the facade of her father and her brother. But she did. Hers was the one that hurt Athena the most when she caught a glimpse. Kendall was her own private tragedy but he kept up the charade. Athena caught Katarina as she slipped, as someone said something that was poison to her. All Athena could do was try and divert the conversation at the table as much as she could to protect them, all of them. Her number one priority was naturally the children in her desperate desire to keep their screams from muddling with that of the others’.

She wanted to cry and sob and cling and scream just like Kendall did but for an entirely different reason: for her family.

Plastering a smile on her face to hide her own hurt, Athena sank into Kendall. She pressed a kiss to his collar bone and wound her arms around him as best she could as she wriggled closer for both the warmth and the assurance that he was there with her, that for now he’d pretend to be alright even if they both knew that he wasn’t. Athena nuzzled into his neck and squeezed her eyes shut, determined that it was there she would sleep. Athena looped her leg over Kendall’s waist and drew him closer to her, her fingers looping tightly into his hair as her spare hand rubbed circles into the base of the back of his neck.

“Good Morning,” she murmured, pulling her head back to look at him. Athena pressed forward and caught Kendall’s lips with hers, kissing him feverishly as she hugged him tighter to her body. Athena pushed Kendall a little and tipped him onto his back. She followed and planted her knees down either side of his waist. She reached back down for the sheets and pulled them over their figures before she launched her arms back under Kendall and snuggled in close to him. “Mmmm...I missed you,” she told him, inhaling the scent of his skin and his hair. “Your sons have already been up once this morning. Or was it twice? I don’t even remember anymore. Hungry babies. Oh, then they wanted to play. They’re still alive but I swear to Merlin, next time...” Athena lifted her head and smiled playfully at Kendall before lowering her head to peck at his lips. “Have I mentioned that even though you give me evil children that keep me awake and make my breasts feel as though at any given moment they may well explode ... I do love you dearly?”

Unwittingly, Kendall had started to taste the beginnings of becoming his father. It wasn’t an intentional process. Yet, inevitably, there was gradually more in him that resembled his old man than he would admit. The nightmares have begun. Unbeknownst to Kendall, his father suffered from nightmares that could have been the memories of Azkaban. Yet, now, Augustus would have given anything for those nightmares to return, rather than the dream he was having at the moment – waltzing with the wife that was now no more. Fortunately for Kendall, he still had his. Sure, it was the hardest thing so far, losing his mother. Yet, he made an intangible measurement. And, easily enough, he knew that it would surely be impossible to deal with ever not having Athena around. Still, it didn’t make the fresh pain of losing his mother better. Time. He needed time. And then he would get used to her absence. Perhaps the strangest thing about the matter, to the ones who were hurting because of Cordelia’s passing was the fact that someone who spoke so little, and who did just as much around the manor, could make a louder and more noticeable mark at the very act of her passage to oblivion.

Despite how he made to suffer the tragedy on his own, Kendall was not without the luxury of the woman he loved, which really placed him at a much better disposition compared to his own father. Sure, he could pull away and make to be alone, but the fact was that he wasn’t. The moment she sank into him, consuming him with her smell, the man soaked up the comfort of it hungrily. It might have been that Athena was seeking for the assurance of his body. Yet, all he felt as how his body depended on her to feel better, even, that the few seconds of first introduction of her body against his again could quickly make the pain hurt less. Kendall allowed Athena to pull him even closer in whatever fashion she desired, involuntarily shifting to enable her greater access to his being. The body wants, and the body gets, he supposed. He wasn’t, despite the initial withdrawal from the woman, going to deny himself the comfort of her presence. After all, it would seem, it was neglect and complacency that made it harder to lose Cordelia. Still, of course, no one suffered a greater regret than Augustus Rookwood, who was adamant to deal with this tragedy on his own, away from the eyes of the rest of the family that he had shared with Cordelia.

Kendall was lavished with the touches of Athena’s love. Suddenly grateful to have it take things off his mind for the moment, he offered the woman a small smile, allowing himself to be nursed, in a way, and excusing himself for actually feeling rather small against a woman who seemed to be the bigger presence at the moment, what with what she has been doing to hold everyone and herself together. The softness of her lips was felt all over his face, and Kendall’s smile grew wider at the sweetness of them. He made to speak, and then, he grinned, first, amused at the words of his wife. “I have no further part in that evil than the cherub sweetness I have given to the children from my very precious disposition, love.” Then, wrapping his arms around Athena now, he continued. “What is there not to love?” Then, before the woman could protest his words, he met her lips with his and made sure that it lasted long enough for her to give up a comeback against him. Or so he thought. Then, withdrawing for air, Kendall averted his attention to his wife’s chest. “Let’s see how we can soothe this … explosion, shall we?” With a cheeky smirk, he removed his arms from around Athena and found her breasts with his hands. “Mmm …” was the sound of approval, before he lowered his lips to plant kisses all over them.

To be married in bloodlines as pure as theirs and to be married happy were two different things. You could not be married into a bloodline like theirs and be happy and if you existed for happiness you simply could not find a place as blood-bearer in that line, in that house. Somehow, though, the House of Rookwood had encompassed once more a Goyle who was bastard and heir, one that had provided noble blood and happiness but one that had also taken it upon herself to exist as matriarch though never daring to speak in such terms. For that was the place of the recently deceased whose departure had ripped caverns in all of them. The grief was palpable and yet for her it was manageable. Everyone had a place and a reason and a time to keep to. As long as they all did that then it would be fine. They all had to tow the line lest they lost what little grasp on sanity and their emotions that they had.

Even the brothers had gotten their testy warning: hurt any of them and she’d have them killed. Young though this woman was, she was a force unto herself and they all had right to be concerned. They were her family, her responsibility now and she had to look after them. She had to look after the girls, her quiet boy and his desolate father. They were hers to harbour and to keep safe. Anyone that dared shake that wary, rickety semblance of normality would feel her thunder and be struck by her lightning. She’d do for all of them if they so much as lifted their wands or flicked their tongues with poison on their lips. Azkaban was not a place that scared Athena any longer. No, she’d seen the horror in all of their eyes and the hidden tears. Dementors could cause her no sense of fear.

As she buried herself into her husband she found that her fortress had been dilapidated. Her husband had taken blows that he had not been prepared for. The walls had fallen and the keep was awash with scarlet, left exposed to the elements and completely defenceless. It was for him more so than the others that she kept the machine running, the wheels turning. There was nothing to be done with Augustus Rookwood; a law unto his self she had yet to truly ask of his confidence in her. Katarina’s tears broke in the dead of night and though Athena had heard she had no reason to enter the girl’s room and embrace her to her chest tightly in the hope that the warmth of her body encompassing Katarina’s would somehow make it hurt less. But her boy, her sweet boy whose eyes were alight with a spark that was not real and true in his gaze, was destroyed. Motherless having known the adoration of one, now deprived, her smell, her touch, her voice still familiar to him. In many ways, Athena had been lucky in not knowing her mother, lucky not having to live half-orphaned having known her smile.

Lifting her head from Kendall’s body, she brought her hands to his face and took him in. Her eyes searched his face and her fingers reached up to filter gently through the front of his hair. Leaning forward, she kissed the end of his nose and smiled a little, rubbing her fingers over his cheek as she leaned into him again.

“You’re very lucky they’re adorable,” she mumbled to him as she peppered kisses across his collarbone.

Athena laughed as Kendall wrapped his arms around her and she began to wriggle, determined to get free. She paused as his mouth covered hers and her hands found the hair at the nape of his neck seemingly on cue. Her breathless giggles continued as Kendall came to inspect what was no longer to Athena a place which could draw the promise of being bedded. What lay upon her chest were glorified udders and though she resented Kendall for turning her into a cow, she could not deny her boys the proper start to life. But being a human cow, she was incredibly tender all over her torso. Her stomach muscles hurt from trying in vain to do something about the disaster area that her sons had turned her stomach into and her ribs ached from resting their little figures against her all the time. Kendall’s weight or affections were hardly welcome.

“Mmmmm...noooo...” she whined reluctantly, pressing her hands against his chest. “Kisses here,” she told him bluntly, reaching up to take his lips with hers. Athena pulled back soon enough and brought her hands up to smooth Kendall’s bed-head down. “You want some tea?” She asked him, her eyes flitting over to the bedside table. “The House Elf came in a minute ago. It’s still warm. Or some toast? I can go over and get it.”

Kendall chuckled in a glee that momentarily took his mind off the loss that had rocked his world. Reluctantly, he took his hands off the warmth of Athena to place them back around her instead. As the tender heat of her tongue took his attention quickly enough, the man soon forgot about everything else apart from kissing the woman he was still falling in love with everyday. Sure, the events as of late had demanded more of his emotions. Yet, they were there, his affections. He wrapped them around Athena, ensuring that she was still there for him, to have and to hold. Even with a sleepy fog over him, Kendall could not help but to gradually stir out of it as he offered his waking energies to the woman. It was when he finally pulled away for some air that he held Athena’s gaze with his. There was only the sound of his breathing and hers, but he only had eyes for hers. This was, after all, a woman who fought hard, for him. It wasn’t explicitly said, no. No, they were never that kind of a couple. Yet, despite himself, he knew. Nothing spoke louder than the things she did. He was never short of words, anyway. They were pretty, but anyone could speak and prove nothing. Yet, she did. She proved it, even when she was reluctant to admit her affections. And Kendall adored the woman for it.

“Nuuuuu …..” Kendall pulled Athena closer to him and buried his face between her collarbones, taking in her scent and her warmth with unabashed liberty. “I want these.” He rubbed his nose against both of her collarbones, alternately. Then, involuntarily, there was a long, low growl in the pits of his stomach. Surfacing from his hiding place, Kendall nuzzled his nose against Athena’s chin before he smirked. The glint in his eyes was unmistakeable. “Why, yes.” He watched her with mischief in his eyes. “Yes, tea and toast please.” Slowly, he moved to grab the covers and slowly slid them, inch by inch, away from the woman. “And I’d like them served sans anything today!” Then, changing his mind, he leaped for the petite woman and lifted her with his arms. It didn’t take more than a couple of steps before Kendall brought them both to the breakfast tray. While surveying the contents on the tray, he nuzzled his nose yet again against the side of Athena’s arm. “Mmmmm,” he started, “you smell delicious in the mornings, fresh from your daily rebirth and a blessed night spent with me.” Kendall chuckled to himself, not caring if he was his only audience.

Then, swiftly, he placed Athena down onto the lazy armchair, planting a kiss on her cheek to settle her down in it. Half sitting on the arm of the chair, Kendall leaned for a toast, added a thin layer of butter to it, took a first bite, and began his attempt to feed Athena. Then, like a boy who never tires of the latest trick he had mastered, summoned his wand from the side of the bedside table to his other hand. The grin on his face would have offered the comparison to anyone easily. Ever since his time out of Hogwarts, Kendall had learnt a lot more than he had in a school that he had begun to feel stifled in, during the last couple of years. There was no fulfilment, no progression, in his Magical education. Yet, even though he was now better equipped in the real-world context that he was required to be, he was called up for nothing. It was only recently that Augustus had begun to induct him into a project that could potentially be his first big chance to prove his worth to the family. And, if successful, to the world. It was a pity that Cordelia would never live to see the day now.

Once that thought struck him, Kendall felt his spirit descend from the highs that were but a second ago present. He had been robbed. He had been robbed, and he blamed it on the family, even if he knew it was Cordelia’s lot. Losing his mother for a cause greater than himself wasn’t something he could accept. No, he was selfish for the people he loved; and they didn’t even make up more than the fingers of one hand; so, they mattered. Unwittingly, Kendall felt his shoulders sink as he began to chew miserably on his toast. The wand had been summoned to make the tea, and make it did. Complete with two lumps of sugar and enough milk to top them, the two cups of tea lay at the part of the table nearest to the couple, waiting to be appreciated by some human touch; or taste, to be exact.

There was a certain art in being a Rookwood, Athena was slowly learning. She was not ignorant to the luck that had seized her. A bastard unbeknownst to the public but known to those who would have sought fervently to hurt her, she had struck the figurative gold in finding Kendall’s affections. She was not destined to marry well but she had found herself in an union that many young trueborn witches would have envied her for. She was learning quite quickly that her luck depended on her ability to perform though she had not directly been given any tasks to show off her prowess; she had either chosen to take them or they had encompassed her. She had taken the role that Cordelia had once held upon her shoulders but did so with more fervour, yet in a manner just as discreet. She was proving her worth behind the scenes felt she had done well thus far.

Kendall had proved to be less than a handful than she had expected; his boys had given her more trouble. The three of them were darlings though and though much of her heartbreak came from their father, the boys helped heal her a little. They all needed her but while the boys were a bundle of happiness; their father seemed to dip in and out of the feelings – his genuine happiness fleeting when he mentally slipped and reminded himself of the loss of his mother. Athena did not love him any less for that reason. In fact, she took him to her with far more gentleness than his normal constitution would have prompted in her. He needed time, they all did. Time was the greatest healer but also patience. She needed to be as assuring as possible so as to prevent any lasting damage. It would always be there, she knew, but she could make it better; she was determined to make it better.

Athena went willing back into the arms of her husband and she smiled as he snuggled against her. Her fingers skimmed through his hair and she smiled at his attentiveness, glad to find that the spring in him had returned for a moment. She accepted his kisses without another thought spared and returned them gladly, her desperation for him to be happy leaking through into the way she handled him. She was content to indulge his mischief and his desires, willing to even wait upon him hand and foot. But he seemed to have another idea and though Athena was secretly quite glad, she couldn’t help but shriek when he picked her up.

Holding on for dear life, as you never really could predict what Kendall was going to do, Athena busied herself with his neck, finding it a nice place to wait while he carried her about the room. She giggled when she felt his nose poke at her arm and she reached up to peck him on the lips. She relaxed into the pillows once he’d set her down but jumped up a little to reach for the bowl of berries that sat on the table. The House Elves had kept that on the breakfast tray at her insistence, her love for sweet fruits lying over from her pregnancy. She smiled brightly at her husband but her face faltered, noticing that his had too.

Athena’s hand found Kendall’s thigh and she looked at him imploringly, her eyebrows furrowed gently over her eyes. Lifting herself up a tad, Athena brought her hand to Kendall’s face. She leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Would you like to come with me today?” She murmured with a gentle smile. “I am going to take the boys out for a walk with Cerelia and Aurelia. We were going to go down river and have a picnic in the sunshine. It’ll do you good to get out of the house.”

It was funny, but, so true, that a mere event could change the course of life drastically. He had been growing. There was certainly more to learn after Hogwarts. It was so easy to be complacent in that school. Sure, it was one of the best Wizarding schools in the world. Yet, he saw little competition, and little there filled him with sufficient interest once he hit Sixth Year. He had been effectively stifled, he thought. Still, there were apparently things that happened for an education that one could not prepare for. It wasn’t the knowledge of more powerful curses, it wasn’t the learning of more magic, and it certainly wasn’t the betterment of his wand mastery. It wasn’t just those that changed. It wasn’t, too, those that taught him anything like the way loss did.

In what felt like decades longer than the days spent mourning over the loss of his mother, Kendall couldn’t remember a time he felt more change, or more growth. It wasn’t that pain was a good catalyst for them. Yet, there were aspects of life that he never saw, or felt, before the tragedy. He didn’t enjoy it at all; of course not. Still, it was fortunate how he had Athena through the grieving process. Perhaps he was too wrapped up in his world to extend the same comfort to her, but that didn’t change the fact that she stayed and she fought for them, and, oddly, he had never felt more loved by her, nor felt closer to her before than now. There was a silver lining to the tragedies, after all. Now, she was his.

When Kendall felt a hand at his face, he returned his disconcerted eyes to Athena, changing them as soon as he saw the look on her face. Gladly, he accepted her kiss, leaning closer to make for her lips once again. He was adamant on taking the advantage of his liberties. This woman was his to hold and to kiss. That alone should ease the heaviness in his heart. Surely, the Kendall of old would have scoffed at the weakness that he would perceive this as. There was a lot that ensued from then till now, though. Perhaps he was weak now. Yet, he would rise. All he needed was time. There was always going to be a battle waiting for him somewhere along the way for the man, being a Rookwood, after all. And because it hasn’t really happened yet, it was an impending occurrence that he had to anticipate. When that time comes, he was going to be what he was supposed to be – heartless.

Yet, now wasn’t the time. Now was the time to hide away from the example he was expected to make of himself. Fortunately, the pressure had been taken off with the birth of the boys. It was a feat even for a Rookwood man – having his wife birth two boys at one time. That alone spoke of the potential of this Rookwood man, especially to his grandfather. Yet, unbeknownst to him, Raghnall had grown to expect greater things now of the boy, what with this very crucial event acting like the very sign for greater things. Away at his own wing in the manor, however, Kendall snuggled against the arm of his wife, hesitated, before nodding in response to her offer.

“You’ll need me anyway, won’t you?” He began, tongue in cheek. “The youngsters are going to be a handful, not to mention the picnic basket. Of course, we can always use our wands. But, really, why use your wand when you’ve got a man like this?” Kendall smirked and prodded at his biceps. Or rather, the lean meat at whatever biceps he thought he possessed. Yet, he looked satisfied. “It’s a pity the youngsters are coming along though,” he continued in jest. “I was going to walk out of that door and run along to the river with you in the nude. But …” He made an exaggerated shrug. “You’re clearly not going to be that happy a woman after all.” Kendall chuckled, then made to stand to take a few steps away from the armchair that Athena was sat in, before he should suffer any repercussions for his words.

“Right, clothes!” And he made off to the bathroom.

Unbeknownst to the smug Rookwood man, Athena and his sisters had gone out for picnics quite often since the better weather had chased away winter. She was still careful to make sure the girls wrapped up warm and she was sure that if the boys had any more swaddling wrapped round them they wouldn’t be distinguishable in their pram. She herself often went without a coat; too busy ensuring that everyone else was toasty warm, only to suffer for it later. But she had enjoyed the trips they made and the adventures they had embarked on and they had done so without the help of any man. It had been an important healing process for Athena to get out of the house, out of the heavy cloud of depression and the withering stares of her extended family members. She was certainly glad to finally be including Kendall on one of her trips.

Pleased to find Kendall was eager to go, even if it was only to show off his prowess, Athena jumped up and wrapped her dressing gown around her. Once the gown was tied tight at the waist she left their room and walked swiftly down the hall to Aurelia and Cecilia’s rooms were. She roused the girls and helped them pick out their clothes, Aurelia proving much more capable on that front than her sister who Athena had to swerve away from the bright green disaster that had caught the girl’s eye. In the end, Aurelia had found herself a pair of dark jeans and an orange blouse with a navy blue jumper which Athena helped her with. Cecilia settled on a buttercup yellow dress and a pair of thick tights with a cardigan that Athena insisted on doing up much to the girl’s displeasure. The pair were then handed their coats and were instructed to go to the breakfast room for a drink and wait for Athena and Kendall.

The boys were a lot easier to dress. Where the girls were picky, Athena’s boys had yet to really develop a preference. They didn’t mind what they wore as long as they could wriggle and would be nice and warm. She dressed the pair in matching sky-blue baby grows that had bees buzzing around on their bellies and wrapped them up warm in blankets. She then put little hats on their heads, which Archibald promptly tried to wriggle out of, and then set the pair in their Silver Cross Balmoral pram which Athena had enlarged to hold the two of them together. She wheeled them out of their room, cooing over the handlebar at them, and moved back into hers and Kendall’s before buzzing around, glad to have showered earlier that morning, brushing her hair and finding a day dress to slip on.

Once Athena was ready, she called to Kendall to tell him she was going downstairs. Pushing the pram from the room, she was careful to make sure she levitated it down the stairs, refusing to bump it the way Muggles did, and waited in the atrium for the House Elves to bring out the basket. She had already put a few bits and pieces on the rack below the main body of the pram but those were mostly for the babies. As Athena waited, she caught the eye of a goggling Augustus and she made a face at him. A smile pulled at the boys lips and before long, Athena was popping her head up and around the pram, playing silly devils with the boys that before long roused giggles out of them.

It wasn’t so difficult to look away from the blight on his spirit. Sure, it was a blight nonetheless. Yet, it was all in the mind. Or rather, he had the choice. He depended more on the presence of Athena for a better perspective than he wanted to admit. There was still little in himself that he could depend on to tide by. She was right, though. He did need to get out of the house. Perhaps he should have gotten used to the manor by now, having lived all his life in its dim oppression. Still, Kendall didn’t escape from the place to all other parts of the world if he didn’t have a reason to. Perhaps he liked to be on the run. There was a thrill, after all, in being a part of the world, but not letting the world find you.

Whatever it was, the man had always enjoyed incurring the wrath of his grandfather with his absence. Unfortunately, ever since the wedding, and perhaps because of the birth of his sons, the opportunities to go on a solo adventure were non-existent. While Kendall had little desire to find himself apart from Athena and the boys, what with the recent anxiety he would feel from the odd semblance of domestication he might have had unwittingly been inducted into, he did enjoy how the woman and the babies offered an escape to him even in the dark lights of the manor. Still, there was only so much light one could force into a dark place. So, yes, even if for awhile, Kendall needed whatever sunshine the English weather could muster.

If not for the voice of Athena injecting into his reverie, Kendall would have comfortably fallen asleep in the bath that Kili, the house-elf, had made earlier for him. Taking a deep breath, the man submerged his head once again into the warmth of the water before lifting it again for an involuntary flick. Quickly, he got out of the bath and reached for a towel. Thank Merlin for magic, for whilst the common areas of the manor were usually unbearably cold, the rooms for its occupants were always sufficiently warm to allow them to momentarily forget what was waiting for them outside. Swiftly, Kendall slipped into what almost felt like sleeping clothes, and proceeded out of the room.

Along the way, father and son passed each other. Augustus did not so much as raise a grunt of greeting, one which was returned by his son who was equally wary about meeting his father’s eyes. To the older man, Kendall looked too much like his wife. To the younger man, Augustus was a painful reminder that he was left with only one parent now. No, avoidance was best, for now. Kendall attempted to shrug the meeting off as he made his way down towards the better company he was expecting to have. He didn’t have to wait for long. Soon enough, the sound of giggling greeted his ears. As a father would, he recognised the scene even before reaching it. Stealthily, he got behind it and, in a moment, had both his hands over Athena’s eyes. Yet, he stepped closer and placed the tip of his nose against the top of her head, sniffing the familiar scent of her hair. Kendall smiled.

Then, he removed his hands and placed them around the woman’s waist, as he rested his chin on her left shoulder, peering into the pram and taking in the glee of his boys for the first time that day. The grief left them untouched, and Kendall relished it. They were still his, and Athena’s – still fresh and unscarred from a world waiting on them for their unexpected journeys of adventures. Kendall couldn’t imagine that, what with how tiny the both looked in a pram that really wasn’t massive, but was big enough for the comfort of both. Yet, somehow, like Augustus had to, Kendall knew there will be a day in the not so distant future when the boys would be old enough to take on the worldly encounters. He would have to let them go. Perhaps there was more than the loss of his mother that helped his growth, after all.

Kendall nuzzled his nose against Athena, and even then, it was surreal to find himself doing so. They had both grown so much. He had always known that she would be different, to him. Yet, there was never even a slight guarantee that they were to be married. Hadn’t there been times at Hogwarts where she ignored him, and he couldn’t care less what she got up to, or who she got up with either? Somehow, though, here they were. It took years. Yet, he wouldn’t have changed a thing. He didn’t wait for this. Yet, this had been waiting for him all along. Life was inexplicable, even Cordelia’s death was, but he was still glad to have married the best, even if the Rookwood clan hadn’t deemed the match the best of unions. He couldn’t care less.

The sound of footsteps quickly brought Aurelia and Cecilia into the room. Kendall looked up and winced at the sight of the latter, who really was a spitting image of his mother. The other girls had more Augustus than Cordelia, but Ceci was every bit the sweet blonde that her mother was. It was a pity that she, being the youngest, didn’t have the privilege of more years with Cordelia. Yet, in his state, Kendall could not help her with the situation. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder about Kat, who seemed just as depressed as he was, and who wasn’t among the company for the picnic. With furrowed eyebrows, he looked from Lia to nowhere in particular, as long as he could avoid looking at his youngest sister for as long as it was possible.

“Are we all here?” Kendall directed the question to the room, but his eyes soon found his wife. Quickly, though, he had his hands around the handle of the boys’ pram. “I’ll take them,” he stated, rather than asked. He was not strong enough to deal with the girls yet, especially not Ceci, as much as it really wasn’t her fault. Without a further word, he pushed the pram slowly so that it was every bit his charge now, standing right in front of him. Avoiding Athena’s gaze, he peered into the pram again and smirked at the boys, both of whom were returning his gaze with wide-eyed curiosity. Gus was more responsive, though, reaching out to prod at the hand that Kendall offered to them. Archie merely stared and continued to suck on the tiniest thumb that the man had ever seen in his life. Like this, the man waited for his wife to lead the picnic.