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Dimitriov, Adonis Ezra

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Post by Khaat Lupin Wed Jul 11, 2012 4:07 pm

Shall we do this one step at a time, then, if a list is too large and complicated? Let's give it one more try, shall we?

Step 1. The word "wonderful" has to be gone from the potions bit. I gave you a list of suggestions on how to reword that. I will not accept him with 'wonderful' in his abilities. I do not accept qualifiers behind it. Edit that first, please. Then we will move on from there.

Oh, and just fyi, i wasn't trying to be British superior because I don't live in England either. I use Google to make sure my information is straight. It wouldn't take two seconds to look up.

k
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Post by Riyan Criswell Wed Jul 11, 2012 5:58 pm

I never said it was to large or complicated.. i said it was giving me a headake. I see no problem with the wordwonderful being used. it doesn't mean he's and expert at it.. it just means he's good at it. but what ever
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Post by Elijah Krum Wed Jul 11, 2012 6:00 pm

Wonderful is an exaggeration of good. It's better than good. For his level it just needs to be toned down a tad. He can soon reach that level but he needs to first show IC aptitude.

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Post by Cecilia Krum Wed Jul 11, 2012 9:41 pm

In no way does he use his words he'd rather use his fist. I've edited and i'm leaveing it like this. no will you please just accept him. I will have no problem playing him i just want to start playing him.
I'm trying to be nice about it but all your doing is pissing me off. Stop asking/telling me to change him. it's like your trying to find something wrong when there really is nothing
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Post by Khaat Lupin Thu Jul 12, 2012 9:38 pm

We have re-read your app--several times. And, here's the decision. Your character does need to make some sort of cohesive sense. We have given yourepeated direction to make him more realistic and to make your application for him work.

You have at least one major remaining concern, even if I look away from the omnivore/carnivore business, which still is not worded in a way that makes sense with the rest of the personality of your character.

You have repeatedly insisted that he is not evil. That he is merely a bully. It does not make sense for him to want a power position within the de's and to have that be one of the greatest goals in his life, particularly at his age, and to not have him have some element of evil. As I have told you before, among their other traits, Death Eaters specialize in dark magic--evil spells. You have not explained to me how it makes sense that he has a desire to have a power position w/ them while he is not evil. It is a critical thing in adonis's makeup.

The application is there to help you make those decisions about your character as you design him. I realize that an application is a beginning point. I get that. But--you are not likely to make him work if the app isn't making sense before you even start with him. And, believe it or not, other players who intend to interact with him may well look at the app to try to figure him out.

Now--you can choose to not fix this, but I cannot approve an application until it meets site standards. It is completely your choice. The original date on the application is the 5th of July. Applications have two weeks. I will extend that by a couple of days at most. If it is not in workable shape by that time, I will move the app for incompletion, as we would do with any other application.
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Post by Cecilia Krum Fri Jul 13, 2012 3:19 am

Does he have to be Evil to want to be in a high powerful position? to be reconized in what he has been thaught?
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Post by Khaat Lupin Fri Jul 13, 2012 3:29 am

No, not necessarily. Here's where I need to see some clarification. It just needs to make sense. Draco was a good example of someone who wasn't truly evil at the core. He was just a bully--unlike his dad. But Lucius was expecting leadership out of draco.

i'm okay with the fact that he isn't evil. and, if it makes some sort of logical sense, i'm okay with him having thoughts and goals that, on the surface, appear to be the exact opposite of what most people would expect. that keeps him from being dull. And that can be a good thing. So long as its done in a logical way, so long as it makes sense.

it might well be that adonis is honestly not evil but that part of why he wants to be a de might very well be that he is being pushed into that by his family--perhaps some high pressure from his father or mother or something. and, if that were the case, that might explain a lot of why he is mean to everyone else.

And, once you answer some of those things about him, you will find that it gives you a lot more understanding of his thinking, his feelings, and how he would most likely behave. that will help you when you write his posts in countless ways. the more you understand the deeper layers of your character, the better your posts will be.

i am not saying you have to change his goals. what i am saying is that if he is not evil but he wants a job that is held by evil people, he has to have a good reason for it. nobody ever does anything wthout a reason. figure out the reason and you'll unlock a lot of the question that, right now, feel hard for you to answer.

it has always helped me with my characters--lots and lots.

am i making it any more clear?
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Post by Riyan Criswell Fri Jul 13, 2012 3:13 pm

I will not write to much of his family leaving it completely up to the person who would want to play them. i do see his father being big on the whole de thing. he wants to be notice yet still seen and not heard
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Post by Khaat Lupin Sat Jul 14, 2012 12:53 am

Alright--so, am I understanding that you agree that his family might be pressuring him into wanting a prominant DE career? If so, we might be able to compromise.

Rather than saying who might be expecting him to earn a powerful position, I think you would be safe in simply saying that his goal would be to get a powerful postion in the de's "because of family tradition", or "to meet his family's expectations". That way, you arent' specifically stating who in his family expects that of him. And anyone who decides to make any of his family members can do what they want with that, then.

It also makes your app make a lot more sense. If you were to do that, I think we might be in a position to accept him then.

Does that work?
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