Valentine, Beatrice Leisel

by Tris Valentine Fri Apr 27, 2012 3:41 am

Beatrice Leisel Valentine
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INTRODUCTION
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FULL NAME: Beatrice Leisel Valentine
NICKNAMES: Tris

AGE: 16

ALLEGIANCE: Neutral

HOGWARTS HOUSE: Ravenclaw (or Slytherin if that isn't possible)

CLASSES: Charms and Potions.

WAND: Length: 14 1/2 in.
Wood: Ebony
Core: Phoenix Feather
Flexibility: Slightly Springy

PLAY BY: Coco Rocha

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APPEARANCE
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HAIR COLOR: Chocolate Brown, Red in the Sun

EYE COLOR: Blue-Grey

HEIGHT: 5'7

BODY TYPE: Tris is well built. She's one of those girls who knows what a real healthy body is, and isn't afraid to show hers.

GENERAL APPEARANCE: Tris is a normal looking girl, almost average. She has chocolate brown hair, and blue-grey eyes. She has no freckles, but she does have a small mole on her left cheekbone. She is well-built and slightly curvy, but isn't exactly very athletic. Her skin is smooth, and she has dark splotches of skin on both of her shoulder blades.

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PERSONALITY
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GOOD TRAITS:
Intelligent
Intuitive
Has a Weak Spot for Small Children

BAD TRAITS:
Slightly Anti-Social
Sarcastic
Confidence Issues

CHARACTER LIKES:
Mystical Creatures (sometimes more than people)
Books (always more than people)
Imagination/Creativity

CHARACTER DISLIKES:
Idiocy
Unoriginality
Particularly Rude People

GOALS:
Do something worthwhile; something that people will remember her for. She doesn't want to die knowing that she didn't make a difference in the World.

QUIRKS:
Likes to listen to sad music. She's not a depressed person; she just sees the beauty in songs and lyrics about heartbreak or love.

BOGGART: Her greatest fear is a fear of water. She's terrified of what lurks underneath the surface, just waiting to pull her under.

PATRONUS: When she was 7 years old, she helped her father plan a surprise party for her mother. The look of joy on her mother's face when she was surprised always brings a smile on her face, and a feeling of pride to her.

DEMENTOR: Her worst memory is part of the reason she fears water. She was swept out into a riptide at age 10, and was stuck clinging to a small rock for an hour. Finally a passerby noticed her, and called the Coast Guard, but she still has nightmares about her being carried out to open water.

VERITASERUM: Tris keeps her fear a secret. She thinks that people wouldn't understand why she fears water so much. They see an ocean, they think swimming. She sees an ocean, and she thinks danger and fear. She isn't exactly being completely fair to other people with that belief, but she stands firm.

MIRROR OF ERISED: Tris wants to be anywhere but on Earth. She wants to go to the magical realms of her books and be transported to another reality. She knows it will never happen, but she still wants it desperately.

PERSONALITY: Tris is a very strange, yet somehow sensible person. She's very rational, but has an irrational view of the world. She believes that at least 80% of the people on Earth are morons, 15% are too cunning for their own good, and only 5% actually deserve respect. She would rather sit inside and read all day than mingle with other humans. But when she does find someone that she feels is a genuine person, she will stick with them until the end. She yearns to do something that people will remember her for, something that will make a name for herself. But whatever that is, she hasn't found it yet.

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FAMILY & POSSESSIONS
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FATHER: Derek Valentine

MOTHER: Annalise (Gardener) Valentine

SIBLING(S): None

OTHER: Her great-great grandfather was a very famous Auror

BLOOD STATUS: Pure-blood, but she isn't of the 'blood supremacy' mind-set.
RACE: 100% Human

SOCIAL STATUS: Middle-Class

PET(S): A handsome black cat named Alecsander

BROOMSTICK(): Tris prefers to keep her feet on the ground, thank you very much

OTHER POSSESSIONS: When she turned 14, her grandmother gave her a beautiful golden locket with a blue gemstone in the centre. She says that it is supposed to channel her magical ability, but Tris doesn't believe that that is actually true. She just wears it because it is a sacred family heirloom.

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CHARACTER HISTORY
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Early Years: Tris was a very socially-awkward child. She grew up in a very sheltered environment, and wasn't exactly prepared for the real world. But, she adapted quickly, and learned how to survive in a world where life isn't fair. She did all of her schoolwork, never picked any fights, and behaved herself. It was only in her 3rd grade that she started to come out of her shell and make a few friends. It was also around that time that she discovered where books could transport her to, and she never went back.

Hogwarts Years: Tris had gone to muggle schools all of her life, though she wasn't new to magic. Her parents, while not Pureblood Supremacists, still wanted her to be educated in how to survive in the Wizarding World. For her first 4 years at Hogwarts, she basically lived in the Library. She was, as some would say, a human sponge. She absorbed information, and never let it go. Her intelligence was something that she held very dear, even though she didn't know exactly how smart she really was.

Adulthood: Not a graduate yet Smile

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BEHIND THE CHARACTER
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YOUR NAME: Lily

RP EXPERIENCE: I was actually on this site about a year ago, but had to leave because school started.

HOW YOU FOUND US: iMy sister actually originally introduced this site to me

OTHER CHARACTERS: None (they were all deleted)

PURPOSE OF CHARACTER: Some parts of this character are based off of myself, so I guess I'm trying to make my 'virtual self' do things my real self can't.

RP SAMPLE: The dream always started out the same. A flat, calm ocean that stretched out for miles with no land in sight. Everything was calm, almost soothing. She would feel uneasy yet comforted at the same time. Then the storm-clouds would come. They would make the wind howl, and the waves grow into giants. They would always sweep her away, take control from her. Panic would fill her, but she knew there was nothing she could do. As she was dragged away in the tide, she would always scream for help.
And that was where it ended. Every single night for the past year, she had had this dream. The first few months had been easier; the dream had never been complete. She always awoke in blind terror, sweat making my sheets cling to her. She'd had to put a silencing charm on her bed to keep from waking her dorm mates.
Sleeping Draughts always helped, but the last thing she wanted was to become reliant on a potion. So all she could do was cover up the purple under her eyes, and plant a smile on her face to make the world think everything was alright.

by **Jess Potter** Fri Apr 27, 2012 1:06 pm

Homygod
it's nice to see you back Lily!

I really quite like your character, but there were a few little things that need a touch of tweaking before I accept her, if you don't mind.

First off, in the traits section genius is just a little too high a description for a PA character, as we try and keep them as level as possible at creation. She's allowed to be smart, don't get me wrong, but genius is just a bit too far.

Also, in the boggart section you stated that her greatest fear is of the unknown, but then in the veritaserum section you sort of leaned more towards water... and you sort of did that in the boggart section as well i suppose. Maybe you should either work a little more on making the fear of the unknown a little more apparent, or wipe it and leave her greatest fear as water.

Just my thoughts anyway.

And finally the RP sample wasn't written in first person past tense, which is the required format of PA... e.g. Tris felt uneasy yet comforted at the same time... Panic would fill her, but there was nothing she could do..

In all honesty I think that's the weakest part of the app, you might be better off rewriting it to include some dialogue or some more actions.

Otherwise, I can't wait to accept her. I see a fair bit of both houses in her, ambition and intelligence, but I don't see enough cunning to really go for Slytherin, so she'll be a Ravie, after you've tweaked it a little bit Smile

Jess.