Your Security Sucks, Doyle!

Michael simply used a few simple "tricks of his trade" and made his way into Doyle's office. For a place that was supposed to be so secure, Doyle's hallowed sanctuary had a flimsy security system. At least that was Michael's evaluation of it. However, now that he had technically broken in, he needed to "make nice" to the headmaster.

He brought his almost trademark backpack and in it he had put a lovely 5 star quality Black Forest Torte, with plates, forks, mugs, napkins, a serving knife. He had also included a thermos of the best espresso, and one of tea, and containers of cream and sugar. Michael was always detail oriented, if nothing else.

His enchanted climbing rope tried to peek out of the backpack. "Get down, you silly snake. I doubt the headmaster has ever seen a rope with a mind of its own. Get down and behave, or I'll leave you behind next time." The rope seemed to get itself in a huff and slunk back down into the bag.

Michael cut slices of the torte and set out a piece for the headmaster. He put out the tea mugs, the espresso cups, the thermoses, and made himself at home. He figured Doyle would be along any time now. If not, he'd merely have some espresso and wait.

Doyle was out. He was not inside his office. Why? What could have inspired such a man to exit his sanctuary and mingle with the people he so successfully avoided? Hunger? No! Biological needs? No! Thirst? No! What, then? The reason of his departure shall remain a secret to all those that are not Edgar Doyle himself. He limped back to his tower and climbed up the irritating staircase that caused even more pain in his leg.

Upon reaching his door, Doyle heard some sound coming from inside his office. Since there was no legal way of entering his office, it had to be a break in. Now, in order to prepare himself, he deduced that it was either a student or that idiot of his colleague that seemed quirky enough to do such a thing. If it were someone more dangerous, there would have been signs of violence, enemies usually did not bother themselves with the tidiness of the room they were about to destroy. If it was a student, he'd send him flying through the window; if it was that old hag, he'd... well, send him flying through the window. He opened the door and pointed his cane at the man that was now revealed as the old bat. ''Wow... you look just like me... except you're much older, uglier and fatter... I shall never become you, you old bat'', he exclaimed upon seeing the old man. ''Now, get out!'', he said limping back to his seat, ignoring the man and his toy set.

"Quit carping, you old fool, before you figure out why I cam in here. Come sit down. I brought a lovely black forest torte, perfectly brewed Earl Grey or perfectly brewed espresso. We have business to discuss. Besides the fact that your security system isn't worth a tick," Michael said, unphased. "Do you really want Grindlewald using you as a pawn and making a horses' ass out of you, or do you want to still be able to make your own choices at the end off the day? If you prefer not to be victimized, then I suggest you come in and have a slice of dessert, and a piece of business on top of it."

He wasn't moved by Doyle's own odd character. Doyle was a crusty loner, just like he was himself. So Doyle's blowhard attitude didn't move him one bit.

"And, by the way, if there had been anything in here I wanted, I've have had it by now, and I'd have been gone already. Not that you would have known anything about my past career necessarily. I presume Wilson knows, but what he's told you, I have no bloody clue. Sit down and at least pretend to be a semi-gracious host, would you? The REAL Minister of Magic has a message for you."

''As far as I am concerned, you can take everything except the TV, but that is magically enchanted so it could not be removed, so yes... I would not care about anything you might have taken from here, you old bat'', Doyle said sarcastically watching his show. He then turned around, grabbed a cookie and continued staring at his television set.

''Grindelwald? That's the idiot that fought Dumbledore, if I am not mistaken? He can come, he can crap around, but I shan't change who I am. He can fire me, that's the farthest he will be able to go, so yes, you still are an idiot for thinking that it was exceptionally difficult to enter my office, especially for a failed cat burglar like you, you old crow!'', Doyle said and took another cookie.

''The REAL Minister is that idiot you were talking about. But, also, why should I care about the Ministry of Magic? An institution full of corrupted bureaucratic rats headed by the Grand Chief of All the Rats is of absolutely no interest to me. I did not care about them when I should have, why should I listen to what they have to say now, that I am, de facto, the sole person in charge of this school? Their system has failed our community more than once and I could not care less about them. Your background check sucks!'', Doyle said calmly. He despised politics, he despised the Ministry and he did not understand why this old man came here with the thought he would care, but then again, he had nice cookies. ''Oh... also... get out, you old hag!'', he said while nibbling on another cookie.

"I don't want the bloody TV," Michael said. "Foul things. Clearly, you haven't learned the benefit of a decent tobacco in a lovely antique Mershon pipe, along with a first edition book, and a brandy warmed by a fire." He flicked his wand at the television set to turn it off. "I don't want you to change who you are. That happens to be the whole point of my 'entrance' into your so called sanctuary. You can insult my character all you want, but you need me. There are far worse things than being fired, and he's not afraid to use them.

"I wanted my background check to suck, by the way. It was purely intentional. If I had wanted it to be stellar, I'd have created it that way. In this situation, it will get me into far more places than being a pristinely clean professor. You can think you're in charge of this school, but in point of pure fact, you've already let Grindlewald take control. Have you checked your bloody train? Have you checked the Gestapo who have already been through the student body and confiscated almost everything they brought onto the grounds--including things I 'liberated' back to them?

"If you think they haven't already gotten to you, you're a fool. They already own you. They're taking full advantage of the fact that you don't give a crap and they're doing whatever they want to do. You're being used like an ignorant pawn. A useless figurehead. And frankly, as lazy as you are, you're hardly stupid, even though your behavior sometimes is.

"I, for one, would like to see you keep your job, but in order to do that, you have to get your head out of your arse and start to give a damn about the students you are entrusted with. Or shall I do that for you as well? And incidently, the Minister would like you to keep your job, but I daresay, Grindlewald may soon want to replace you with one of his lackeys. Now--do you want my help or not?"