Reconciliations

Steven walked around Roberts farm his mind on how to talk to Andrew he had a lot to say to him things had not gone well the first time he had seen him he wanted to let him know that he was not abandonded but he had been busy and now things would change. So much so that he would spend more time with him if he was still welcome to.

He paced back and forward in the yard as he waited if he lost Andrew also he didn't know what he would do Ronata was something he could live with out, but Andrew no he could not lose him aswell he had to sort it out, Ronata had not helped one bit. Robert had said he could meet at his farm since he'd been spending time there and would be the best place to meet up.

Seeing a tree stump he sat down more worried about Andrew than he had been over Ronata . He pushed her to the back of his mind Andrew was his concern right now thoughts flashed threw his mind he had hoped for a lot more yet thanks to Ronata's brake down he ahd not done what he had hoped for. Now he wanted to tell Adnerw that al was fine and he would do anything to prove that he was still there for him not like his real father who had now bothered with him.

Robert had spent hours talking with Andrew, explaining things to him and letting him vent his anger on him instead of Steven. Robert had explained how Steven worked for him and how he had sent him on a very dangerous job that had taken him out of England for the summer. That had not explained much to Andrew. Andrew didn't understand why Steven hadn't written? Why had he not so much as taken the time to see him off at the train? Where the heck had he been when it came to helping him with the basics he needed, like food and clothing, school supplies, all of that? He had been grateful that Robert ahd been able to get added, somehow, to Andrew's Gringotts accounts to help Andrew pay his expenses and buy what he needed, but he also knew that Robert sent him letters at least weekly, never missing. He also sent Andrew a care package every week full of all sorts of goodies just for fun. He had signed his permission slip to be able to go into Hogsmeade, somehow. Probably as the Minister of Magic or something, near as Andrew knew.

But Andrew, more than anything else was angry about Ronata. That was his real issue with Steven. He was outraged that Steven had put some weird, flaky woman in their lives, married her and then ousted her when her true colors came through. Andrew's life was chaotic enough without getting a stepmother who was a weirdo and one he'd never even met nor gotten the chance to know. That, well, he was outraged about that. And Robert hadn't gotten very far in helping him understand that whole adult concept of love. It didn't seem like love to Andrew. It seemed like Steven had had a crush on her and had gotten over it when Ronata turned out to be not so very nice.

He had agreed to talk with Steven, but he had his anxieties about it. Much as he knew Steven cared, Steven had not been able to be a force of stability for him as he had promised. He had let him down.

Robert had gotten a pass from Hogwarts for the weekend and had brought him to the farm. Andrew loved it here. He felt safe and at home here. He wanted to have the same thing at Steven's, though, too. And he did not want Steven to take him from Robert either. He loved Robert and kate and the farm. And he wanted to love Steven too. He didn't see why he couldn't have it all.

"Steven," he heard Robert's voice calling out to Andrew's guardian. "Come inside. Andrew's here. Kate's made you her special cocoa and some fresh snickerdoodles. She's put them in the living room in front of the fireplace for you two."

Steven heard Roberts voice and tensed this was the first time he had seen Andrew and now felt aprehensive about it but he was not going to go back on his word. Walking up to the house he stayed quiet as he walked deep in thought . Drawing near he smiled and walked inside "thank you Kate" he asked softly but looked at Andrew nervusely "Hi Andrew "he said softly as he moved to stand close to him and looking at him and how he ahd changed growing into a young man from the young boy he remebered ."I guess Robert explained to you why i haven't been around much and I know I have alot of explaning to do , I'll awnser anything you have to ask honistly, you deserve that " he said glancing at Robert and Kate as he stood waiting for the first question from him.

"How could you just marry...that woman? What were you thinking?" Andrew's voice was angry. He had so hoped he could follow Robert's instructions about holding his temper, but it hadn't lasted two minutes with Steven. "You didn't even ask John or me either one what we thought. You didn't even let us meet her before you married her. And what if neither of us had liked her? Or did you tell him and not me? What kind of a father does that, anyway?"

What Andrew wanted to know, really, was where was his place in the Walker house. Had Steven elected to tell John and not him? Did John matter more than he did? Or was the truth, in fact, that neither of them mattered that much for Steven to have thought of them at all? Bringing some woman home, usually a harlot, was something his father would do. Something that Steven had, in not so maany words, promised he would not do. Steven had promised he would not be like his father, and this was hurtful. For some reason, Steven had never seemed to care about that whatsoever.

Steven heard the anger in the young boys voice he nodded as he spoke "Andrew I know, I had no right to do that with out involving you and john, I agree what I did was wrong , she was wrong and I though with my heart and not my head , I rushed in too soon with out thinking and john doesn't know ether, I was going to tell you when you were both together, but things didn't work out, she left me, she couldn't cope with the life I have to lead and she broke down" he looked "yes, I should have told you when we first met and no I won't be making that mistake in a hurry again, you quite right to be angry at me, I accept that. " he gave a sigh looking at Robert wondering if he was doing the right thing by accepting his anger. He didn't turn from Andrew, but stood still facing him. If he was to regain any amount of trust from the young man he would have to accept what Andrew would give how ever little it would be and over how ever long it would take.

Robert had stood on the edge of the doorway, concerned for Andrew's reaction to Steven. Andrew had felt it, and it was strangely reassuring that Robert was there. He did hear what Steven was saying. Steven had been stupid and was admitting it. Well, Andrew had done his own share of stupid things. He could forgive him for being stupid.

"Are you going to take me away from Robert and Kate?" He narrowed his eyes at Steven. He didn't attach easily and once he had made an attachment, he didn't break one easily. Not without getting hurt. And he didn't want to lose them.

"Andrew," Robert came in, "Steven has no intention, I'm quite sure, of making you give up any of your friends. Steven doesn't work that way. You are always, always welcome with Kate and me. Steven, you probably should know. Andrew does not want his relationship with Kate and me to change. He is more than willing to resolve his issues with you. But he doesn't want you to demand that he gives up Kate and me. That's one of his biggest fears now."

Steven sighed and gave a small smile "Andrew as Robert said I have no intenshions of taking you away from Kate and Robert " he said "I can see your settled here and I have no problems with it, in fact you could not have choose a better set of people " he was a little disapointed that he had failed Andrew or thats how it felt to him, but he had no choice till he could gain his trust again he had to let him go.

He glanced at Robert wondering if he could see the pain in his eyes that he now felt inside, he failed with Ronata now with Andrew. He forced or tried to force the pain deep inside him and smiled outwardly to both Andrew and Robert.

Andrew looked at Steven and saw the look in his eyes. His temper flared. He looked at Robert and shouted, "Why is it nobody ever understands me!" he walked out, infuriated.

"Give him time, Steven," Robert said. "You misunderstood him. He feels that you see it as all or nothing. He feels that you're forcing him to choose between us and you. He doesn't want to pick. He wants us all. He hasn't ever had a family, and he feels he wants the people he loves in his life. He doesn't want to lose any of us. You have him confused."

Steven took a step forward as Andrew walked away but at Roberts words stopped and sat down "hes confused, I just gave him what he wanted, im not nor ever taking him away from you, but how am I ment to feel, this is not because i lost him but that i failed in my self, not him, I would never give up on him I didn't with Ronata but she made the decishion to leave and it drained me emotionaly " he rested his head in his hands and sighed his head down as he wondered just what he was ment to do how could he make andrew happy he sighed and looked at Robert .

"This is not about Ronata," Robert sighed. " knoww that's still fresh, but it really is not about her. Nor is it about your failures and your letting your mind get wrapped up in what you did or did not do right. Stop it. This is about that boy. You certainly had to know this would not be easy. You'vve been out of his life for almost an entire year. That's not healthy for a boy who just lost every living biological relative. You know that. Give him some credit, would you? He hasn't gotten into trouble at school. He's making friends, he's getting good grades at school, especially in Defense Against the Dark Arts. He's interested in potions and dueling. He's loves Honeydukes', and is very generous to his friends and shares anything he has. You need to get to know that young man.

"What do you want to do? How is your relationship with John? I presume you haven't seen him any more. I think both boys need to spend time, not only with you, but with each other. And its not like we don't live close enough that this needs to be such a drama. He can go back and forth as he wants, as far as I'm concnerned."