You won't get through to me.

Therapy had come fifteen years too late. Yet no matter how useful the therapy would be, it didn’t make Elijah resent it any less. His idea of therapy was a load of over-emotional nuts that could quite easily use up a box of Kleenex in one session. He wasn’t going to go down that route. He didn’t make a habit of crying. He didn’t even cry when Robert had questioned him over what had caused his rather sudden emotional displacement. But he’d cried when it happened...he’d cried when he felt that night all over again; he cried when he heard her screams. He’d hit rock bottom that day and he was still there, months later, putting on a brave face and not letting anyone know.

Somehow he’d found an air pocket in rock bottom. There was a place where he could breathe, a place called consciousness. Now he was finding use of Robert’s potions. He couldn’t sleep anymore. Chase may have fit into the space Alice had left when she’d died but Chase didn’t fill it. 10% still carried Alice and it was that percentage that kept Elijah awake at night. It was that percentage that had caused him to caste silencing charms around his bed so his roommates wouldn’t hear him scream. It was him with the nightmares now. It was ironic that he used to comfort Fauve when he could get a twelve hour night. Now, without the potions, he’d be lucky to get three quarters of an hour.

Wearily, Elijah made his way down the corridor that led to the Mental Health wing of St. Mungo’s. He felt awfully out of place there, he couldn’t quite blend in. He could feel the eyes of the healers on him as he walked and as they wheeled patients back to their rooms in their wheelchairs. It was eerie, as if they were on a reel of film stuck on loop.

His fatigue had been washed away by the fourth cup of coffee that morning. He’d chosen a pair of dark, well fitted jeans and a white dress shirt. He’d then decided on a pair of suspenders just because they were there and after running a comb through his hair, Elijah slipped his shoes on, shrugged a jacket on and picked up his bag before leaving the castle and heading to Hogsmeade.

He’d Flooed to St. Mungo’s, straight into the lobby and had asked for directions to Dr. Lestrange’s office. That was weird too considering ‘Dr. Lestrange’ had been ‘Minister Lestrange’ a few months prior. It was outside Dr. Lestrange’s office that Elijah now stood, chewing on his bottom lip and deliberating whether it was a good idea to knock on the door or not. He brought his hand up and ran it through his hair a few times. The sun shining through the window caught on the rings on his fingers and he dropped his hand back down to his side. He’d replaced the love knot he’d given to Chase with another one of his Grandmother’s rings. Stelladora had been more than willing to oblige him when he’d owled her. She’d been a mother to him – the mother to him – and she was always happy to hear from him as he was her.

Finally, Elijah reached out and twisted the handle down, not bothering to knock. He wasn’t late, neither was he early. He was actually right on time and Dr. Lestrange had been expecting him so there was no need to knock Elijah figured. He opened the door and stuck his head around it, leaning heavily against the door frame as he did so. “Hope you haven’t got plans for lunch,” Elijah quipped sarcastically, knowing that they’d be there for a while.

Matt looked up as he was just abou to say 'come in'. He could hear Elijah breathing behind him. He was prepared for the quip that came with the boy as well. "Oh don't worry, I planned ahead and ate already." he told him. "Take a seat," he said, using more authority than he had hoped. Chase had warned him about Elijah, so he knew exactly how to handle him. He was looking over some charts, and thinking about how he was going to actually handle him. What would he start with, he'd probably be a hardass so he'd try and be nice. Though in all honesty he didn't know what to do with him. He seemed like a decent young man, who would grow up to be a nice young adult. Khaat had sent some charts and explained Eli's predicaments so he was well prepared.

"Well Elijah, mind if I call you Eli? Or do you preffer Mr. Krum." he asked him looking at the boy who was sitting in a sear in front of his desk. Matt was wearing a dark green suit and a black tie, his hair was combed back and his glasses were on his face. "Now, where do you want to begin? Shall we talk about...parenthood? Chase?" he asked him, leaving out a certain something. He knew he wasn't ready for anything like that that yet. Plus he wanted to get to know Elijah better before he actually started to relate to him. Chase was easy, she came in broken and left relatively at ease.

"I can undertsand if you don't want to speak. I know a few people who have stayed silent the whole time they've been here." he told him. He was ready for any quick retort he had, he knew they would be coming. He was a sixteen year old boy. He was moody, most likely angry, probably just upset in general, and unwilling to even cry. He'd have trouble with this one; but then again, he though Chase was trouble. She was easy to handle, she was a nice girl and very willing to speak. "If you're looking for something to do there's a coffe stain to the right of my foot you can stare at." he told him grinning.

It seemed to Matt that all he was doing was telling Elijah things. He wanted Elijah to speak, but he hadn't given an open space to speak. So he sat there and placed the papers on his desk in a drawer. He would allow Elijah to speak, "You're turn to speak." he said plainly.

It was a little saddening that Elijah could no longer catch adults off guard. But he was fairly well known now anyway and as such his moods and tendencies would be figured out quite quickly. If he truly wanted to provoke a reaction out of someone then the best person to talk to would probably be his mother. Something scandalous would set her off ranting and raving. It would make Elijah grin gleefully. Her anger was a source of amusement for him now. The hexes she would throw would make his guffaws even louder and the mutterings from his father in the doorway would send him into a floor-rolling fit of giggles. Matt was no doubt used to politicians trying to provoke him; a teenager wouldn’t catch him off guard much.

Stepping inside, Elijah took the room in. It was everything a therapist’s office should have been. The chaise long was there with nice soft pillows that the nut jobs would no doubt hold to their chests as they recounted tales that would explain their insanity. He shut the door behind him and slowly crossed the room. He took his bag off of his shoulder and dropped it down onto the carpeted floor. He heard the tin box of charcoal bang against one of the sketch books in his bag and he decided to ignore it. Elijah plonked himself down on the seat and leaned back, crossing on leg over the other.

As Elijah listened to Matt his mind wandered to thoughts of lunch. He was listening but only half listening. He knew he’d probably go to a pasta bar in London somewhere after and spend a few twenty pound notes on his lunch. But right now he’d have to endure the help that this quack was supposedly going to give him. But really all Elijah probably had to do was talk and listen. The idea of talking about parenthood was laughable to him in more ways than one. He did the Parent thing as often as he possibly could. School was handicapping him. He didn’t know why he needed it – in his opinion he didn’t – but he assumed that if he did drop out Khaat would kick him back to Hogwarts; much in the same way Marina had kicked him to the school in the first place.

“Eli is fine,” He said after Matt had finished talking, “Or whatever you want to call me I guess,” Elijah shrugged. He leaned further back into the chair and glanced down at the floor to Matt’s feet. Sure enough there was coffee stain in the carpet. It made Elijah smirk slightly at the sight of it and he looked up once more. “So what you just talk at them and they sit there?” Elijah asked. “What a waste of time.” He sighed and turned one of the fingers on one of his fingers before speaking once more, “Let’s talk about whatever you deem appropriate...you’re the expert aren’t you?”

Matt knew that Elij was going to be a living hell already. But Matt's patients had grown, after all he had to raise twins; AND he had a teenage daughter. Well young adult but who wants to get technical anwyay. He eyed Eli, maintaining a silence that was almost eary. Eventually though Matt knew they couldn't sit and do nothing the whole hour that they had. He removed his gaze from Elijah's eyes and back to the papers on his desk. He looked them over one more time, he was more or less skimming than anything. Actually he was only half paying attention. He heard Eli speak and raised his eyes back up to him. Well he was speaking, so that was good.

"Actually Elijah, it all depends on who I'm dealing with. Some people preffer not so speak, and others cannot shut their mouths." he said grinning slightly. "You however are a difficult one; I can tell already. You're stubborn, from what Chase has told me; you're a nice young man. You've been through quite a lot and yet...you haven't given up yet. Most people I know that go through what you have, they're just about ready to leave the eart." he said trying not to use the word die or kill.

"I am the expert, and what I suggest we begin with is what you think is your main problem. And please, try not to say 'I have some crazy guy who want's to know what the hell is wrong with me'." he told him, a faint smile on his face.

Elijah leaned back into the chair and placed his hands in his lap, resisting the urge to put his feet on the desk in front of him. He’d never actually thought he’d end up in therapy. It was probably the first thing that his grandmother had suggested, hoping that he’d talk there. After months of wallowing he’d opened up when his grandfather had asked him if he’d play checkers with him. Elijah had been distracted and could barely play the game anyway but he’d spoken to the man and that was good news for Stelladora, Micah and his grandmother, all of whom had been worried about him.

“What can you accomplish if they just sit there? They might just be reciting every word of the Bible backwards for all you know and unless you’re a Leglimens how would you know that they’re even taking what you’re saying in?” Elijah asked, leaning forward slightly. This was easier, to criticize other people. He didn’t want to talk about himself. What could he honestly accomplish by doing that? He didn’t even know why he was really there.

Elijah exhaled and looked at Matt. His eyebrows furrowed and he dropped back against the chair. “What exactly do you think you know about me?” He asked, “What you’ve heard from Chase or perhaps Sadie down at reception? She’s got a hundred stories to tell if you’d just be willing to listen. She’s got no qualms about badmouthing anyone, especially moi. Or how about Robert Lupin? Has he said anything to you – spoilers maybe? You never want to view them first because you’re always disappointed at the end. So I reiterate, what do you think you know? And what’s on those papers? I hope it’s something exciting.”

“My main problem!?” Elijah laughed bitterly and rolled his eyes, looking out of one of the windows. He glanced down at the coffee stain and muttered off-handly, “You should really get a cleaner.” He said with a smirk at Matt. “My main problem...well if you’ve got spoilers then you’ll already know. Ooh do they have my prescriptions on there? Sleeping draughts really...they’re great,” He shivered dramatically, acting a little bit like Rob when he went off on a tangent about some of his favourite potions. “They do nothing for me...,” Elijah laughed, the laugh taking an insane edge, “All they do is bring the whole ‘sleep’ concept to the forefront of my mind but when they wear off – they’re crap! Oh...right... perhaps it’s my vices you know? Sex, booze, cigarettes and drugs back in the day but they were weird and you don’t want to know where I found myself the next morning after that. So I cut four down to three and kept the ones that would take longer to kill me. However I wouldn’t say that’s a real problem, it’s probably the only thing keeping me sane.”

Elijah looked thoughtful for a few moments before launching back into his monologue. “Its funny how people who don’t even know you tell you – ‘oh you’re going to die’, ‘they’re going to kill you’. Do they even think for a second that I wouldn’t be doing that if I actually cared? Shockingly enough I’ve thought about suicide -- contemplated it many a time. Actually if it wasn’t for the few things in my life besides the vices then I would be six feet under by now with a headstone saying ‘look who f*cked up again!’ Let’s see what else is there? Well there’s my mother, my father.... borderline anorexic sister but she’ll either get over that or die,” Elijah shrugged, far too into his rant to really understand what he was saying, “Then there’s my own mind...my own memories...funny how things like that stick with you. I just want to be one of those people that can barely remember their early years. It would be a hell of a lot easier.”

There was nothing more Elijah really wanted to say at this moment. He was relatively out of breath in all honesty. He then spoke, slightly quieter this time. “See what you can make out of that. Try and figure me out,” He challenged.

Matt listened to everything Elijah had to say; not even moving or opening his eyes. He was still and silent, he wasn't thinking...he wasn't praying, and he wasn't sleeping. He knew what to say, he wasn't a religious man, and he had gotten plenty of sleep the night before. So what was he doing? Giving himself and Elijah time to cool off. Matt had not enjoyed the whole rant Elijah had just said. For one he was sorry for the boy, another had didn't like the tone. Elijah, was just blowing up which was the first step. At least that's what he had always followed by. Whenever anyone is upset about anything they need to yell or say everything that's going wrong before any healing is done. However Matt was giving them plenty of time to cool off. They sat in an eerie silence, only the ticking of the clock could be heard.

Finally Matt took a breath and opened his eyes looking right into Elijah's. "Mr. Krum..." he began. "Now how exactly does that make you feel?" he said, just trying to piss him off for the moment. He grinned mischievously and continued on to say what he actually wanted to say. It was odd, dealing with someone with troubles as bad as these. He continued to look at Elijah, now more with fascination than pity or anything else. "To be honest I'm surprised you've lasted to the age of...fifteen?" he asked him. He knew he was sixteen he just wanted to see his reaction. If he could get some more anger out of Elijah that would be perfect.

"I'd love to know why you're constantly talking about other patients when I'm currentlt concerned with you. For all I know you could be singing "I'm a little teapot" in your head. Of course I could easily peer into your mind but that's against my values. Everything is done willingly not by force. " he told him more stern now. "Now, back to you," he began once more. "I'm not going to tell you to stop taking you're sleeping potions. I'm not going to say they're going to kill you; you obviously already know the damage that's being done to you." he said slightly angry.

"But I've got one problem with you, and It's not really my place but you need to hear it." he said. "You're going to be a father of a baby soon. When you haven't even managed to grow up yourself! You're destroying your body when everyone needs it most. What do you suppose Chase is going to do if you kill yourself from taking potions?" he asked him, he was being scarily calm. "I think you're problem is your inabilty to man up and live life like you should. Now I understand this isn't helping you're attitude. But it angers me when a father doesn't even give a damn about his child!


Matt stopped giving Elijah sh*t and moved back into 'trying to help' mode. "You are one of the hardest I have had to deal with actually Elijah. We've been here for ten minutes and I already want to jump off the roof. However I care, and I'm going to try and help whether you like it or not!" he told him. "Now, do you keep a journal?" he asked him simply.

The ‘Doctor’ wasn’t wrong. It was fairly surprising Elijah had lasted as long as he had but he wasn’t an unhealthy person. He just engaged in things that were taking a long to kill him. In reality it was only hastening the inevitable. He wasn’t intentionally trying to kill himself. He wouldn’t endure the trials and tribulations of daily life if he truly wanted to off himself. He would have thrown himself into the Themes a long time ago if he really wanted to die. No, he was quite content to live at present.

Elijah pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes slightly. “How do you feel about that?” was a stereotypical therapist question, something they could repeat hundreds of times. It didn’t irritate Elijah as much as perhaps Matt thought it would. As per usual his anger had dissipated as quickly as it had flared and he was now feeling quite serene again. He cocked an eyebrow at the Doctor and absent-mindedly licked his lips. Elijah’s eyes went to the window and he dropped his leg off of his other, crossing the two at the ankles. “I’ll surprise you even further,” Elijah drawled, “Sixteen. Shockingly enough the liver and lungs are holding up.”

“Fauve prefers Dodo L’Enfant Do,” Elijah said after a moment. “English lullabies are all samey.” It was actually a simple lullaby, Dodo L’Enfant Do. It was essentially just those words and then a few others but it was all repeated. But the French accent gave it a beautiful melody and it truly did lull children to sleep. It was good for when you just wanted to pass out in your own bed. Elijah found that as long as Fauve was content then Thierry would go to sleep without the lullaby. Only when the boy was absolutely shattered would he fall asleep before Elijah even started to sing to Fauve.

“They’re prescribed...” Elijah said slowly, “Do you really think I’d get off on potions as well as everything else?” He asked, gesticulating wildly. Elijah frowned and his face fell slightly. “Of course you do,” He spat, his eyes narrowing. “I said they didn’t work not that they were hurting me. I’d know. I do know... I-I...I would know.” He sighed in frustration and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I know how to take care of myself,” He spoke slowly for his own benefit, not so much Matt’s. But a voice in the back of his head still taunted him with the words: You just choose not to. “It isn’t as if I’m dependant on them or addicted. Either way ...” He trailed off and shrugged non-comittedly, looking out of the window again. “...Either way they don’t work.”

Elijah turned his head back around when Matt spoke again and when the man finished a toothy smirk pulled Elijah’s lips up. He laughed and clapped his hands together, the sound resounding around the room. “So you don’t have any spoilers!” He exclaimed, wearing a grin that could rival that of the Cheshire cat’s. “I thought so.”

His grin disappeared and his jaw hardened considerably. “How dare you speak to me like that!? Do you have any idea what I’ve had to go through? Do you have any idea at all? No you don’t! You have no idea why I am the way I am! You can’t make sweeping statements about me – you don’t even know me! I’ve not been in this room five minutes and you’ve deduced that I,” He lifted his hand up and listed his points off on his fingers, “want to kill myself, don’t want my own child and that I ‘refuse to man up’! I’m mature enough for everyone on this sodding planet! I’ve grown up time and time again so don’t you dare think you can tell me I’m not ‘grown up enough’ to accept my responsibilities or whatever bull you want to throw at me!”

Elijah was up out of his seat now, his anger bubbling over the cauldron it had been simmering in. “What is it that makes me immature? Is it that I smoke? A lot of adults do that. Is it that I drink? A lot of adults do that too – does that make them immature? Does that make them ‘not grown up enough’? Or is it because I appreciate and take advantage one of our primal instincts as humans? If that makes me a child then everyone else on this bloody planet is too! You have no idea how I feel about my own child! What is this? Is this you talking or is this Chase, forever sceptical of how I really feel? Tell me right now why I shouldn’t walk out of that door this second! Tell me what you can honestly do that’ll help me. I don’t even know why the f*ck I’m here.”

He’d completely ignored Matt’s words after the initial...scolding. He wasn’t in any position to be disciplined. There was only one adult on the planet that could discipline him and that wasn’t him.