++Child I Will Hurt You - Crystal Castles, 2012

Taught them with solace
They know a soft caress
To lower your defense

Hide all that you could
Done for the greater good
It’s later understood

Foray forever

With only two hours of sleep under her belt, Molly Weasley felt like she had slipped between worlds and was travelling through limbo. Of course, she knew what she had signed up for when she had told Jamie that she'd attend his band's underground opening, which just so happened to be in someone's basement in Hogsmeade. It was easy enough to leave campus, if one knew some tricks. She didn't even need the Whomping Willow route anymore. She knew a clear cut path through the forest that backed up to the old Garden of Solace.

And like that, she was free.

She felt a little guilty. She had spent more of this year ditching Margo than the years previous, but it seemed to be helping the blonde Ravenclaw more than hurting. Margo even seemed to have finally secured the friendship of the Zabinis all on her own, especially that of Apollo, who had somehow mustered up the patience for her. Molly was simply more focused on her schoolwork, and Margo wasn't a great study companion. And this concert thing wasn't Margo's thing either. More artsy than party.

Of course, after the art, there was a party. And boy did they party.

Molly was the youngest there by about three years, she would have guessed. Her suspicions were confirmed into her third shot when Jamie leaned in for a kiss and was granted his wish. The rest of the night was a hedonistic swirl, documented only once the majority of the partygoers had passed out, slumped over sofas and tangled up on the floor. Molly, sensing her time to go had come, untangled from Jamie's embrace and collected her boots and jacket, pulling on her top which had been abandoned at some point in the night.

As she picked her way through the bodies, she couldn't help it. She put her polaroid to work, capturing the picture of youth wasting itself away with sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

The sun had not yet risen, but she was unafraid as she picked her way through the dark streets, veering to cross through the garden, over the hedges, and into the forest. She wasn't terrified of the forest as her classmates were. It wasn't a streak of bravery in her that made her walk comfortable, nor was it the cigarette that now dangled from her lips. Somehow, Molly Weasley had always been fairly accepting of her mortality. She hardly felt alive as it was, content to be a ghost among the living. Beyond the veil, she could not touched. She could not feel warmth but it kept out the cold too.

By the time she crossed the treeline onto the grounds of Hogwarts, the sun was beginning to rise above the horizon. She could see the Hufflepuff team trudging out towards the Quidditch pitch, needing to up their game if this season was an indicator of their abilities. Not quite ready to go into the school, Molly angled for the lake, hoping to walk along the shore and awaken to a sense of reality. She would sure look a sight to anyone who saw her - hair-sprayed hair mussed where Jamie's hands had tangled, makeup smeared from the sweat of dancing, clothes careless in their arrangement on her lean body.

It seemed she would be first encountered by Charlotte Waldorf. Of course. The ither Ravenclaw seemed to be enjoying a walk of her own, but was headed right for Molly. Molly took a loooong drag from her cigarette.

Que sera, sera.

@Charlotte Waldorf

It's that day.
Charlotte woke up earlier than others and she jumped out of the bad almost in ecstasy. She grabbed first clothes she found and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Well, this look must work.
After brushing teeth she went to the window only to find beautiful gray owl waiting for her.
Yeah, it's the day when her parents send her all letters from her friends.

In the beginning, it was hard to explain everyone she can't send them text via phone on the way they could understand, and without telling anything about this school.
She tried to use the phone once, but magic all around the castle makes it impossible to find the bloody network.
So she needed to lie. She said that her private school has the strict policy about using the phone so the only way is to write letters and her parents will send that to her. And they will give them answers as well.

Charlotte grabbed letters and owl went away, so Charlotte almost ran outside so she can read everything in peace. She looked at the first letter and skipped when saw it's from her parents. That can wait.
Next one was from her best friend and she opened it immediately and started reading words written on simple white paper with terrible handwriting, you really need to get used to knowing how to read this.



Charlotte smiled and shook her head. She really loves Emily.
And at the same time she was really sad, while her friends are all together, she stuck here, and only what she has are letters from them.
She was about to read the letter from her parents when she almost bumped into someone.
It was Molly, they are in the same house and same year, but Charlotte doesn't know much about her.
It looks like Molly doesn't talk with people a lot. But it didn't matter. it's not like they are friends or something, Charlotte doesn't care.

Yet, she had nice manners so she looked at the girl and frowned she saw how she looks. Her hair, makeup... well, everything is one big mess.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't see you. Are you okay?" Charlotte looked at her a little bit worried, who knows where was this girl last night and what happened to her.

Molly seemed to be in luck, because Waldorf had her nose buried in a letter and had not lifted her head to notice her. Truthfully, Molly didn't get many letters. Her mother, on occasion, would write to check on her daughters, but Molly had never been one to attract much warmth from her family. She usually got inquiries after her health from Hermione in a trickle down manner, some other family member having gotten a letter and was sent to ask about her. They rarely asked. Molly was always the same, always said the same words with no change in expression or sentiment.

"I'm fine."

Luck was not on her side today and Charlotte caught sight of her right before they crossed paths. Charlotte was notorious for her big shows of intellect, though Molly tended to view dogs that had the biggest barks to have the least bite. And as much as Charlotte showed her teeth, condescending to everyone around her for having found acceptance in the totally normal fact that they were magical, Molly knew the threats and the snobbishness was all one big empty threat, a nice little mask for all the insecurities that every girl in Hogwarts was riddled with.

Molly wondered what it was like to hate oneself for no good reason.

Charlotte was surprised by Molly's odd appearance, and there was a part of her, deep inside, that was glad she could have this effect on people, especially people who prided themselves on being above the drudgery of wizardry. Molly took a drag from her cigarette, not breaking stride until she stood right in front of Charlotte. She tilted her head and angled her lips to release the smoke upwards into air, away from either of their faces. And with her usual blank, steadfast expression, she answered Charlotte.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure you are okay Molly?" Charlotte looked at her again and frowned.
"You are looking like if you went through the hurricane or something like that. Where were you last night anyway?" these is the big chance Molly won't say and Charlotte was aware of that, but she could try anyway.
Molly was one of few people Charlotte actually likes here. She is just.... Quiet.
But for some reason, she is always ready to listen whatever Charlotte has to say, about anything.

"I got the letter from my friend back from home. She said that one guy likes me. I really need to talk with someone about that! I'm so confused!" Charlotte shook her head and made the saddest face she could.

"Will you walk with me a little bit? You know, on that way we can chat and I can tell you all about that boy. And you can tell me what happened and why you look like you had really great night and maybe even sex." She smilled and started walking again in hope that Molly would follow her.

Molly blinked at Charlotte, who seemed intent on hearing some tragic explanation for Molly's messy appearance, when really Molly couldn't be bothered to hide. She didn't invite people in to her world, didn't tell them the little thoughts that wriggled into her mind and nagged at her sense of self, but when she allowed herself to be put on display, for all to see and pick apart, they just couldn't do it.

She supposed she wasn't exactly helpful. But she didn't know how to start. And she didn't care to. The corners of her mouth upturned in that unreadable, I-See-Through-You smile she had perfected over the years. Where had she been? "Out." It wasn't curt, or rude, or meant to stir interest. That was it. She was out.

Of course Charlotte needed someone to talk to. Molly found herself in this position more times than one might suspect. Her quiet nature had made people assume she must be a listener, and she was often subjected to irrelevant stories of crushes and betrayals during what was meant to be quiet study sessions or silent tasks during class. She never told anyone to stop, though, so they never did.

Besides, she still wanted to finish her walk around the lake. It wouldn't kill her to let Charlotte follow and tell her tale. Besides, it would take a lot more effort to tell Charlotte to piss off. So she turned around, beginning to walk in the direction Charlotte had initially been headed.

"Confused?" That was as much of an agreement as Charlotte was going to get.

Be friend with Molly... It was really something new, and sometimes even odd.
Charlotte found this diamond at school, how she called her sometimes, about two years ago.
Of course, Molly is here six years now just like Charlotte, but Charlotte never actually noticed her before. Maybe because Molly seems to be always quiet, the outsider. Just like Charlotte.
But while Charlotte was loud and full of angry and hate, Molly was opposite. Or at least looked like that.

And, one day, Molly just walk into Charlotte's life. It was something new but great at the same time, Charlotte finally found someone who actually understands her, who cares about her words.
Molly has never been speaking about herself a lot, though, but Charlotte was okay with that. She was just glad to have someone here who can at least try to act like her friend. She was thinking few times about pushing Molly to open herself, but Charlotte was afraid that would ruin their friendship, and she was way too much selfish to let this girl go from her life. Because, Charlotte needs her, even if Molly on the other side looks like she doesn't need anyone.

So, when Molly said she was out, Charlotte didn't ask anything more.
She just nodded and smiled politely. "Well, it's nice. It looks like you had great time" she looked at molly once again before putting her letters in the bag.

They started walking again and Charlotte looked once at the lake. It was nice, especially in the morning, when people wasn't there to ruin its beauty.
"I have this one friend back at home. We know each other the whole life." Charlotte nodded at Molly's word before continuing. Because it was just that, one word, and it was still more than she usually gets.
"I am confused, a lot. He never seemed to like me and now he asks my friends about me, a lot. And there is this one guy from this school... I like him, I think, but I think he doesn't look at me at the same way. It is so frustrating" Charlotte frowned, pick one jackstone from the ground and throw it into the lake.

Molly tended not to empathize well with the problems facing her peers. Even Margo's problems rarely roused anything deeper than a protective spirit out of the Weasley, as the blonde had a predictable streak of self destructiveness that couldn't be derailed with even the most persistent of life coaching. If Molly were more prone towards feelings of self importance, she might have taken this all as some tragic fact of life, a cross she alone had to bear. But she couldn't bother to give herself such a romantic lot in life, and to spare herself the boredom that would otherwise fill her time, she let herself be amused by the problems that seemed so trifling to her rational mind.

Every now and then, however, someone piqued her interest. The Dixon boy may have been the first, with his false smirks and his mysterious injuries, secrets carried through the halls of Durmstrang. And the, of course, his sister, who would have almost certainly attracted psychiatric help in the muggle world, with her quiet ways and sudden bursts of courage in the face of the tyranny that had been Henri Finch. And now it was the Jericho siblings, the elders anyway. One with a spirit that seemed to reach beyond her body, the other trapping some sense of sorrow deep within his cage of flesh.

Hmm. Molly wondered if that was a thing. Ravenclaw siblings. She certainly had a type.

She turned her own amusement at her inner thoughts outward, latching on instead to what seemed to be two relatively easy problems to resolve. Maybe it was harder, being in the thick of it. She wouldn't know. Things didn't happen to her.

Her voice didn't have any discernable trace of sympathy or interest, merely a question. "Why not tell either how you feel?" She lifted the cigarette to her lips and took another long drag.

To be completely honest with herself, Charlotte must admit that sometimes it is really hard to befriend with Molly. It was almost offensive to talk to the girl who didn't even try to pretend she is interested in the topic. While Charlotte was speaking about the thing that was destroying her in the moment, even if that could look insignificantly for someone else, Molly seemed to not even listen to her, she was just walking but Charlotte couldn't see the girl actually listening.
But then again, Charlotte couldn't ask for more. Molly was actually one of those who at least tolerates being near Charlotte, so she was grateful for even that.

"It is not that easy Molly" Charlotte frowned, thinking about Molly's words. She couldn't just tell what she feels. First of all, she even wasn't completely sure what she feels and even if she was, telling everything out loud could ruin everything. And she was coward, so she wasn't really ready for that.

"I can't just tell, it could ruin everything. Friendships, and in the end, it means I can be with the broken heart." She shrugged unaware of her dramatic words. She discreetly waved with her hand to move smoke from the cigarette from her face. She really hates cigarettes, but she won't be the one who will tell Molly to stop smoking.

Her cigarette was dwindling now. It was the last of her pack, a fresh one waiting for her up in her trunk. It was a trick every addict knew - the cigarette began to taste better the closer one was to finishing it.

Molly didn't relate to the whole boy problems issue. She wasn't sure she had ever been romantically interested in anyone. Sexually? Oh sure. And at her age, it was rare that such feelings were left unrequited. And she could hardly see why someone else liking her when she didn't like them was her problem. Bev had become moon-eyed as of late with her, and she had no intention of asking him why. Let him deal with it.

So it wasn't a lack of empathy that fuelled her almost unfeeling tone with Charlotte - though that tone was the tone she always used, so it was hardly suspect - but a lack of understanding.

She shrugged. "Until you clear it up with at least one of them, you're going to be stuck the way you are now. Besides, nothing ventured, nothing gained."

Yeah, that sounded like good enough advice, she supposed.

(I know it's really bad post, but it's all I was ble to think about)

Molly was still smoking and Charlotte turned her head a little bit, but it looked like she is trying to see something in the distance. Maybe on that way, Molly won't figure out that the smoke is the reason for this move.

The weather was pretty nice and Charlotte felt happiness and calmness, and it was quite a lot time since she last time felt like this. The place was peaceful. Because of wind, it looks like the lake is moving, slowly but moving. But even the wind was nice. She was glad that she decided to tie her hair because now she can felt the wind gently touching her neck, and because of that for one brief moment, all her problems was unimportant.

Charlotte took a little time to think about Molly's word. Molly seemed completely uninterested in Charlotte's problems, but yet, she didn't say Charlotte to shut down so Charlotte was happy. Even if Molly probably doesn't want to talk, she was listening and that was nice.

Charlotte realized that is what she actually needs: someone who will listen to her. She doesn't have that. Her parents have never been listening to her, all her problems stayed deep in her mind because no one ever cared. Her friends are the same. They just want Charlotte to be the party girl and always happy and smiled. If she ever says them that she has real problems, maybe they will just disappear. That is the reason why Charlotte learned how to make smile persuasive enough to hide her bad mood which was always with her.

"That is actually pretty good advice" she finally said something, and then, she finally decided to tell someone something that could ruin her mask of the perfect girl.
"But I'm not brave enough. I would never fell strong enough to say them something about my feelings" she frowned and then continued walking in the silence. She said too much. Now everyone will now that everything, probably even her willing to learn new things are just one good mask.