Past defines us

It's dark. It's cold.
Carmen is on the street, and finally fails more suppressed tears.
For a moment, she sat on the road and start crying uncontrollably. It's all over. All of her life.
In her head coming flashbacks of past events. They come for a few seconds, as the horrific images from nightmares.
She took a deep breath and wiped her face.
She had to look at the facts.
She, Carmen, leader of the Swiss Death Eaters fled away.
They want to kill her.
Her father, her support .. is dead.
Nikolai is somewhere in England, doesn't remember his life. Alessia is probably at home suffers.
She killed the leader of the Russian Death Eaters.
That's why she ran away. Therefore, she is self-doomed.
She didn't have anything. She was sitting on the road in cold London night with only one small bag and a letter in her hand. She had nothing. What happened was what she most feared. The power has led her to the bottom.

She took out her wand out of her bag and then stood up.
"Lumos," she murmured almost inaudibly, and the light at the top of the stick shined the road. She opened the letter again. It is by Beth. She promised to help her.
She pointed the light of wand to the letter and once again read the address neatly printed at the bottom of the letter. She looked around. She must have been in a right settlement. She walked to one house and read the table on which is printed address. She made it. She arrived where needed.
She kept walking until she reached the big house that had to belong to Beth.

She opened the gate and entered in nice garden. She climbed the stairs and the last time wiped her face soaked with tears. She knocked on the door.

It's my fault.
Elizabeth was lying on the cold floor, thinking of the chaos she started when she sent that letter to Carmen. To Audrey O'Shea, she remembered herself she needs to get used to that name.
She never loved him but she was devastated when she heard her husband is dead for treason. It could've been her. And Carmen, oh she destroyed her life. If she kept her mouth shut Carmen wouldn't need another identity. If only...

She deserved the truth! Elizabeth would like to know if she was in the Carmen's skin. She is her friend and it was the right thing to do. But if only...

Knocking.
It must be Carmen. Audrey. Elizabeth thought she'll never be able to remember that name. She got up, slowly, and before she went to open the door she looked in the mirror. She fixed her hair and pinched her cheeks hoping to get some color back on her face. She took a big breath and walked to the big wooden door. She took one more breath before she opened them slightly.

The girl standing in front of her wasn't Carmen. Carmen was strong and cold, she was serious. The girl gazing Elizabeth was weak and broken. Her eyes were red, she cried a lot. Her skin was pale, she had huge dark circles around her eyes. She was shaking. It was so hard to watch her in that condition, knowing that she was the one who started all of this.

Elizabeth was crying as well. It was painful for her as well. She knew what was coming, she'll say goodbye to her daughters, she'll sent them away.
And then she smiled. The tears were still on her face but she was smiling. She had to be strong for all of them, and she will.

"From now on, your name is Audrey O'Shea. You are my half-sister but you were raised just like all of us, like you are Blackburn. Your blood is pure. You finished Hogwarts, you were in Ravenclaw." Elizabeth waited a few more minutes and then she hugged the girl.
"Welcome home Audrey."

While she waited for the doors to open she looked around. The house felt .. nice. Just the kind of house you'd expect from Beth. But this was not home. She closed her eyes for a moment, and thought of her enormous house, headquarters of DE. Snorted, it was no longer home. When she think about it, she doesn't have a home. However, there is no point to complain more. She will find way to correct everything for sure.

She was sorry for Beth. She is certainly sad, thinking about everything, blame herself for what happened, even for what she couldn't anticipate nor prevent. Carmen was grateful, more than anything, she loved the truth. And even now, hadn't regrets for her actions after she learned the truth.

She smiled faintly after the door was opened. The girl looked at her like she is a ghost.
"Do not look at me like I was a ghost or a monster." she shook her head.
However, Carmen wouldn't dare to look at the mirror. She doesn't cry, ever. Even when she learned of her father's death, the usual sadness was replaced by anger. She suppressed sadness deep down as always.
She doesn't cry.
Except now.
A small mistake that won't happen again.

"For God's sake, don't cry so much. It's already too much sadness in one place," she rolled her eyes. She wanted just a little change these feelings. Sadness, regret ... all mingled and choked.
"Nox," she said quietly, her wand stopped lighting.

Carmen was indifferent to whatever Beth was saying. In fact, she felt like she isn't a participant in these talk. She felt like an observer, someone who is watching a movie about a murderer who still get a happy ending with a new identity. She didn't like it. Usually the film then turns into a pathetic, murderer change himself and live happily ever after.
She looked at Beth eyes wide open.
"Audrey? You haven't heard for a more modern names? Audrey sounds like the name from some boring romance novel." she shook her head.

She hugged Beth briefly.
Home.
Audrey.
She didn't know how to answer to that. Ok, it is better not to say anything. That's enough sadness even without answering. She took a deep breath and entered the house, although she cried before, she's still holding up.
"Okay my dear, it's time to stop sorrow .. We have a lot of work. But first of all, I'd like to take a shower," she laughed.

"Sorry, but you really look like crap. We'll have to fix you a bit. And I'm sorry for crying but you really messed my life you know?" Not that she was mad about it, but it was true. And that was thing about Elizabeth, she will always say the truth, unless it may hurt her family. Well, this thing she told Carmen obviously did hurt her husband and herself, but she kept telling her it was different. Truth to be told, it wasn't.
Yet, Elizabeth smiled, giving her best to make that bad mood go away. Carmen was right, there was so much sadness around them.

Carmen's face when she heard her new name was priceless and it made Lizzie laugh so hard. The sound of her laugh filled the night and for the first time in last week she felt relaxed. Tho, there was so much to be done, both of them deserve a break.
"Well, building a completely new identity required much more time and we didn't have that. So I took my cousin's who is now somewhere in Africa doing who knows what. We still need to go through your past and your new friends and so on." She rolled her eyes. Helping her come here was an easy part of a plan. The next step was much more difficult. Carmen needed to learn every single detail about Audrey and she needed to do that as fast as possible. And then, there was her accent. 

When Carmen finally came in, Elizabeth locked the door and followed her to the living room. It was big and dark and yet comfortable and somehow it felt safe, at least to Elizabeth. "The bathroom is upstairs. I'll make a dinner. Hope you love spaghetti, that's the only thing I know how to make without burning something or someone."

She laughed.
"Okay, you didn't offend me at all. But don't worry, this," showed her face "is nothing that a little makeup can not fix."
Smiling sneered, "Dear, I'm the leader of the Death Eaters, or at least I was .. I have the habit of ruining the lives of people who do not deserve it." she shrugged.
That was true. In fact, she never thought about all the people she killed, whose family is destroyed. But it was hard to see her friend suffer.
"But do not worry, I'll find a way to fix everything. I'm sorry about your husband" hugged her once more shortly. Carmen was not the best person to express her emotions, but she tried as best she could.

"Not funny!" she said, almost offended.
"Now I am sure that you deliberately chose that pathetic name" frowned slightly.
"Friends?" Okay, now Carmen was completely shocked. Beth thinks she may be ... friendly? That thought made her sick.
"You expect me to have friends? Are you crazy? You want to help me or destroy me?" she shook her head. She can not be worrying about that now. Beth decided to shoc her every time she speak.

"Of course, spaghetti are fine as long as my life is not in danger," she laughed. Finally, she was relaxed. If did not happen all that had happened, this could pass as a just ordinary visit to a friend. However, Carmen had no such luck. She climbed to the first floor to a large bathroom. She took off the clothes and stood under shower. As always, she takes a shower with cold water. It is a relaxed and helped her to think.