"Ello, there. I doubt it's your first time into the pub, but a few things have changed recently, so let me tell you about it, yeah?
Firstly, our menu is more expansive than ever, and offers something for everyone if they look in the right place! We're, of course, a pub and a place to stay, so meals are served late into the night if one chooses to spend an evening or two with us. Our repeat customers can tell you -- there's everything from traditional food from Scotland, Ireland, England and Wales to Wizarding World favorites. Butterbeer, obviously, is available at any time - even in the morning, though you know what they say about folks who drink before 11, eh? Regardless, drinks of all sorts are here, and there will always be comfortable options for the kids if they come along.
Second! Now that the Divine Wizarding Network has begun to air Quidditch matches on one of their sport channels, we've got screens playing matches, visible throughout the pub. Have a team you'd rather watch? Let us know and we'll change a telly nearby you so you can catch all of the good parts! Sorry, though, ladies. No soap operas will be shown in my pub. Maybe just wait until it's over to drop by? We'll still have all of that food I mentioned before. And if the show upset you, we'll still have the alcohol, so-
-- But anyway, if you've got any questions, just give me a shout, and I or one of the folks on staff here will get you sorted. Cheers."