Oh, you know, just around...

Alone was Matt's favourite time of day. It was also his favourite place and sound. Matt had been alone for an incredibly long time. So long that his writing skills had dropped a considerable amount. If you happen to find any typo's feel free to look over them, thanks Jackles. Anyway, back behind the fourth wall Matt was walking down the secluded Hogsmeade street. He looked up at the outline of Hogwarts castle against the moonlight. It had been over a year since he had last seen Hogwarts let alone been inside of the castle. He didn't mind so much. Last he had heard it was going far downhill and hope had been lost. He would never send his children there, that is if he ever had more. Perhaps he has a long lost son. He chuckled and shook his head. He stuck his hands into the pockets of his black pants.

He was wearing a simple outfit that night. He had changed it previous on the occasion that he figured he'd make his big return that night. So many returns. Maybe he should just stop leaving. Surely he was beginning to piss people off with his bipolar friendship. He was wearing a pair of black jeans with a simple white button up shirt and black leather shoes. Always looking his best just in case. He never knew who he might run into. An old flame, an old friend, an old arch enemy who should go *bleeping* *bleep* *bleep* all the way home. And so's their mum.

The sky above him was clear but he could see clouds floating in from in front of him. Very dark clouds, a thunderstorm most likely. Oh Matt loved a good thunderstorm. They created the best atmosphere for dramatic meetings. As Matt was a slave to the dramatics he couldn't resist smiling a little bit as the thought tickled his fancy. Matt began to run down the mental list of people he wouldn't mind running into. People he assumed were still alive anyway. Hmmm, let's see. he began to think.

"There's always Sophia. She'd be a friendly face to see. I think she's alive; I haven't seen anything about a Granger death lately. Then again I really haven't been following much wizarding news. Uhm, oh Khaat. Of course she's still alive it would take an army twice the size of Sauron's from Lord of the Rings to kill her. Along with that I'm hoping Robert. MICHAEL! Oh that's a face I'd like to see. I miss being called Skinny. Well, sort of. Nicknames aren't exactly a thing for me right not."

There was one name he was purposely avoiding. A name that could either bring him to his knee's or make him fist pump the air. A woman. The only women who could match Matt in a good old fashioned game of Mario Kart duel. Jack Dyllan. And as if the fates were listening to him. He saw a familiar profile down the street in front of him.

It was this odd sensation. Familiar streets had her lost and her heart was sinking into an impossible suspense for something that would never come. And yet, as lost as she felt, she always found her destination, and the suspense was not brought to an end by some strange occurrence. No one jumped out at her, no startling news was delivered, and she did not end up at a dead end, at a complete loss as to how she got there and how to get back home. Everything was perfectly, one hundred percent normal. Life moved on as it always had, leaving Jack with the horrible question – Why does it feel as though everything has changed when not a thing is different?

It had something to do with the Ministry riot, Jack knew it. To see so many people against a law and willing to fight it and yet… This law had persisted, and it was still in existence. How was it possible that such a thing could exist against the consent of the public? Had she been the only one fighting before the riot? And why had everyone stopped? Had she emptied out her Gringotts vault for all of those rebels to go home and comply? And she would not forget those rebellious convicts either. The Potter children, not looking at her though she had come partly for them. Henry Yewbeam nearly dying of an overdose, unaware that she had checked on him yet again. And the man who had looked so much like her cousin that she knew it had to be a ghost…

It was all a terrible reminder of the overwhelming loneliness that was always ready to swallow her up.

She had come close to vanquishing it. She had patched things up with Albus – and then he found others to fill his time with. She began working with Fred – and he soon went back to preferring the company of cousins to that of his coworker. James had come back – and then left her to make amends with everyone. Gabby had spent a good few weeks forcing his company on her – and then he had been distracted by his own troubles. Jack had Sunny and Charlie, but they were both so busy that she never had any time with either girl, and the same could be said for her husband, whom she desperately missed having as a friend.

Lately, Jack had been missing people. She had found old pictures, and had locked herself in the office Max had made for her in the greenhouse. Pictures of Andrew brought smiles, pictures of Nemo brought laughter, pictures of Chase were promptly stowed away. She found a clipping of Amelia Lyon taking the position of Headmistress of Hogwarts and Jack beamed. How she missed Amelia, the girl who had gone from rival to friend, before returning to stranger. There were pictures of the Falcons before James had been thrown off the team, back when they had all bee friends. Pictures of her old team in the Ministry. Of her and the Weasley workers.

They were all strangers.

It was this revelation that spurred her towards Hogsmeade, the place where one could always find an acquaintance or, if lucky, a friend. Jack had been so concerned about righting magical society that she had fallen out of it, and the lone wolf was longing to reacquaint herself with the pack she spent so much time trying to predict.

Stops in the Three Broomsticks and Honeydukes garnered no results, so she angled herself towards The Hog’s Head. The sensation of familiar disorientation was returning, and she briefly closed her eyes, letting herself amble along in this blindness. When she opened her eyes, she would remember where she was, who she was, what she was meant to be doing. She braced herself for this change of attitude, this reversal of hope, and she drew in a deep breath. Her eyelids parted, letting in the world.

And Matt Lestrange.

That was Matt Lestrange.

Matt Lestrange was on the street in front of her.

And he was alive.

He wasn’t dead, he was walking towards her.

The air left her as these facts collected in her mind, forcing her into a stand still, as she openly stared at one of the people in her life that she had called friend. One of those friends turned strangers. And it seemed he was going to make himself strange no more.

It's funny because strange and leSTRANGE. Hehe, oh I love finding funny things when they may be hiding. Oh, right, in character posting.

Oh crap! He stopped moving for a moment as he noticed she had done so herself. She had definitely noticed him. He began to feel his heart pulse and his palms begin to sweat. Of course he could sort of handle confrontation with someone he didn't like. But Jack was a completely different story. He had history with Jack that he didn't have with anyone else. Well, maybe Nemo, but as far as Matt was concerned that poor bastard was dead. His eyes were fixated on the spot where Jack stood still. He could see her completely now. Everything was the same as he had remembered. On the occasional night he would let himself think back to the glory days; if you could call them that. The days he enjoyed running around like a chicken with it's head cut off.

"Alright, okay, here we go Matt." he thought to himself. "It's not live you've never handled an awkward situation before. Hell when you were Minister for that stint that's all you ever did. Awkward conversations out the ass. You totally got this!" He smiled to himself and made to start walking towards her again but his arms and legs did not move. He was quite literally, petrified. "Okay...maybe I DON'T got this. What's the worst she would do. Curse me in the middle of Hogsmeade? .... Alright that is pretty bad. BUT it's WORST CASE SCENARIO....yeah okay maybe I should just turn and run"

But Matt got a glimpse of the look on Jack's face and it wasn't a look of anger. It wasn't a terrible look at all, actually. And then it dawned on him, Jack Dyllan was standing in front of him a few meters away.

Jack Dyllan.

Jack Dyllan, who had fought along side him in many battles.

Jack Dyllan, who didn't trust Matt as far as she could throw him when they first met.

Jack Dyllan, who called him on his bullsh*t in the nicest ways possible.

Jack Dyllan, who had had probably missed most of all...

Matt took a deep breath and began to walk towards the petrified woman. He grinned softly and rubbed the back of his neck with his left hand as he made his final approach. He stopped in front of her and looked down at the familiar face.

"Long time no see.." he said as his arm returned to his side.

Jack did not know when she would have recovered if Matt had not been the one to break the awkward staring contest unfolding between them. So much was racing through her mind and so little was actually processing that she could have remained for an hour, staring at the familiar angular figure, trying to understand the facts that were so clearly laid out before her. Matt Lestrange was alive, seemingly well, and standing before her. This much had to be true.

And yet, it was so hard for her to reconcile it as truth.

Matt Lestrange. They had joked together when they had been friends, they had passionately argued when they had been colleagues. She thought she had sentenced him to death. He was, after all, the reason she had a Dark Mark that she covered up daily. And she was, after all, the reason that the plan to infiltrate the Death Eaters had failed. She had broken cover to save the man she loved and the mission had been lost. She had run away for a month to fix things and when she came back, Matt was gone and the Order needed a leader. And she had become just that.

Nemo. Of course. That was a lot of what contributed to her current disbelief. Besides pictures, she had little evidence to remind her that there truly had been a suicidal Seer in her life. The home they had shared was no longer hers, the daughter and the pet were out of contact with her, and she had not seen him in the flesh for so long that she could not remember little things like the sweetness in his aroma or the swing in his hips.

But Matt Lestrange was a link between her and Nemo, a connection that could not be ignored nor taken lightly. He was proof that such a stage in her life had occurred, and was currently in the past. And maybe this added weight to a reunion that should have been full of relief and joy was what kept Jack rooted to her spot, feeling as though everything inside her had been scraped out and plopped onto the ground before them for everyone to peruse.

Or perhaps she was just being dramatic.

He made those first halting steps towards reunion and she swallowed, straightening herself out. Her green shirt fluttered slightly as she made the adjustment, her shoulders coming back as her arms folded into themselves, her hip jutting out a but. Despite this somewhat defensive posture, her expression could not recover from its original position of shock. It did weaken and look more uncertain than surprised, an unfamiliar expression on the features that usually formed scowls or serious smirks. She worked the unsettled feelings out, swallowing them and storing them in their gut, just in time for Matt to speak.

"Definitely..." she said, trailing off much like she did. Her boots stretched as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "I, um... I'm glad to see you're not dead. After... After the mission failed, you weren't anywhere to be found. I figured..." She cleared her throat. "Well it seems I figured wrong."

Oh, Jack Dyllan, feelings were never your forte.

Matt had somehow managed to trick himself into thinking that everyone was better off and safer with him gone. That isn't to say that it wasn't true but he kept telling himself they were going to be fine. Which appeared to be far from the truth judging from the reaction Jack had upon seeing him again. She seemed rather distant and in a state of shock he hadn't expected. He couldn't help but feel a tinge of guilt in his chest area. He looked down at her with sad eyes. He hadn't seen her face for over a year.

"Alright you dunce. This is your time to apology. You should make things right with her. You're such a ninny"

He didn't really think about anyone when he was disappearing. He trained himself not to think and he saw why he did it now. He had left everyone he cared about without a word or any notice. And it made him feel like the douchiest scumbag in the universe.

"Yes, uhm...well I kind of had to disappear." he mumbled. "And I uhm, don't blame you for the mission." he added. He cleared his throat and after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence spoke again. "I'm sorry," he said. "I should have given you word and uhm helped you out with the adjustment somehow."

Matt had never dealt with a situation more awkward than this. On one hand he had missed her a lot and wanted to squeeze her to death in a bear hug but not really to death. And on the other they hadn't seen each other in a year and she thought he was dead.

"You look great though!" he added with an awkward smile.

He had to disappear. He had to disappear because the Death Eaters had been after him, obviously – wasn’t that hard of a guess. The Death Eaters were after him because she had compromised the mission and revealed the Order to be overinvolved in their business. She had compromised the mission because, well, they had Nemo. What choice did she have? She could have waited it out, yes, but being in that Manor… hearing of his torture and struggles… she could not stick to orders.

Still, if Matt had been put in danger, it was because of her. And even if she had spent this last year thinking his death was on her hands, as so many others were, she could not be mad at him. Contacting her could have jeopardized himself, revealed his position, proved he was still out there and was still a target. And it had been her hasty actions to put him in danger in the first place. So how could she dare be mad?

He had to disappear. She understood. “I get it,” she said, voice dull and each word carrying the same amount of weight. He assured her of her innocence in his eyes. She blinked, shifting her weight to another foot. “Well… you should. I’ve always been shit at taking orders. Doesn’t mean I should get away with it. Especially ‘cause it put you in danger.” Okay, too many words. She took a metaphorical step back to recover. It was too much to reconcile the fact that Matt was still alive. Having a whole conversation with him too was a hard pill to swallow.

His words and his smile felt forced. She glanced down at herself, as though to figure out whether or not she should believe Matt. She was certainly in shape – professional Quidditch did that to a person. She still had those perpetual dark circles under eyes, but her skin looked a bit healthier – certainly due to the joy her family brought her. But she still had that same mop of hair, that somehow aggressive posture, that frumpy style. She had not changed much.

“I…” she did not know what she thought of that. So, she settled with, “…okay.”

And then came more awkward staring.

“Um… what are you doing… back in town, I mean?”

This conversation was something he probably should have been preparing for. After all Jack was the last person he had been in relations with before the collapse of the mission. But it's not like he was used to being in danger. It got to the point where he almost got a thrill out of it. Sure the past year wasn't easy to live through but it was better than sitting in a dark old cave with periodic visitors. In a way it was almost like he should be thanking Jack. He had one of the strangest years of his life and met some of the weirdest people. He smiled slightly, an unforced smile.

"Oh shut up." he chuckled. "It's not like I've never been in danger before." he told her. "I'm a big boy, Jack." He made his attempt to make things just a tiny bit less awkward. "I was never one to be bossed around either to be honest." he added in passing.

His smile was genuine now. Despite the tensity of the air he felt pleased that he could talk to Jack once again. "Oh, I'm just hanging around. Visiting some old friends. The usual." he told her. He stuck his hands in his pocket and fiddled with his wand. It heated at his touch.

"I know girl. I can handle this."

After what seemed like an eternity of awkward silence Matt's smile widened. "I know this is probably really shocking to you and I'm running the risk of you punching me right in the face right now but, I really missed you Jack." he said. His smile disappeared into his face and he became serious. "I understand what happened." he added with a nod.

He smiled. He laughed. He joked. Why couldn’t she goad herself into joining him? Matt had been one of the few to bring out the fun in her, the fun that had existed purely in her when she had been a Hogwarts student with no one to share it with. Matt had been one of the few to get her to joke, to laugh, to tease like they were children. It had been easy and fun, even when things had gotten hard… There had always been Mario Kart, always been a night out drinking, always been something.

And then she lost Nemo. And now looking at Matt hurt, almost as much as it had hurt to put him on that train. She did not know if she could smile anymore when she looked at her lanky friend – not when she remembered the history they shared, and how that history was ancient and long gone.

Practically dead.

At his assurance that all was well between them, Jack shifted from foot to foot, crossing her arms tight, loosening them, and then tightening them up again. Jack, so decisive in the workplace and on the pitch and in her home, practically hopping from foot to foot in full-blown awkwardness, uncertain of where to put her arms, how to stand, how to look, what to say. How would she even start? Well, hope you don’t mind but I erased you from your best mate’s memory and took your job?

That would come out sooner than she was ready for it, she was sure.

“Usual,” she parroted. There was nothing usual about her own life, besides the fact that she was still in deeper than she was able to handle. He kept talking and Jack felt the corners of her mouth tug outwards and down, the muscles in her jaw dancing as she fought to keep her composure. Her arms dropped to her sides and she shook her head. “I’m not… I don’t want to punch you, I… I don’t know what to do.” She heaved a shrug, air expelling from her lungs. “I… I don’t think you do understand, really. I mean, you don’t know how much I messed things up after… during… lately.”

Jack was far from an open book type of person. Which led Matt to believe that she was simply putting on this mess exterior. He tried to pick out her usual ticks that would give her true emotions away. One of the perks of knowing her for so long allotted Matt all the time he needed to pick and prod at her body language and verbal ticks. His time away had also offered him the training he needed to perfect this ability. Although it was far from the perfection he had offered he had enough understanding to use the ability on someone he knew quite well. But as far as he could tell, Jack really was as low as she put out. She was so low she didn't even bother to hide it from him. The man who had to pick and prod at her until she'd let anything out.

"Well son of a B****..." he thought to himself as his smile dropped. Jack really had hit the bottom just as he had. Although perhaps she had it worse. He had nobody to blame for that but himself. And as she spoke to him he couldn't help but shake his head and smile the tiniest of smirks.

"It's in the past, Jack, really." he assured her. He reached out to put his hand on her shoulder for reassurance. "I know why you did what you did. I would have done it too, trust me." He attempted to go down the empathy route with Jack. He couldn't help but feel responsible for this complete change in attitude. He was expecting cursing, fists, maybe a hug, not....this. "All I know is that right now I am back. I am looking at one of my best friends and I really want to buy her a drink. It's been a long year Jack, and I missed you." he smiled at her, another genuine smile. He wanted to cheer her up but really didn't know how.

This was definitely not going the way he had expected. But he would continue to roll with the punches. If this is how Jack reacts he couldn't wait to reveal himself to Khaat. Or even Jess. He shuddered at the idea of Jess crying over seeing him again.

Jack did not know if Matt was right in saying everything was in the past. No, she knew he was wrong, because... if it was in the past, then why was she currently struggling under the weight of the Order? Why was she not in her old home, with Nemo and Mell just a shout away? Why had she taken on Nemo's addiction to alcohol because it was one way of keeping herself sane and connected to him simultaneously?If everything was in the past, then why was everything still so hard, and unmanageable, and never-ending?

Nothing between them could be in the past anyway. Because he was back.

He stepped forward and took her shoulder in his hand, and she felt herself tense as he gripped her. Not out of fear of being struck, she would have taken that without a blink, but because she did not think he needed to waste any concern or care on her. It would not help, it would not change things, and was therefore not worth the effort. But, if she knew anything of Matt, it was that he did as he very well pleased.

His smile was real. He was not faking. She knew him well enough for that. And even if she did not understand how or why he could forgive and forget all in the past, she knew that it did her no good to hold it all against herself. There would be plenty of others willing to tack the blame and responsibility onto her for her - no reason to add more to it if she didn't have to.

She nodded, a bit numb, and wet her lips. "I... I could use a drink."

She could always use a drink.