Never Alone

Amelia sat staring at the fire in the Hufflepuff common room. She had given up on studying. She took a deep breath. The last week had been so stressful. She looked at the hole she made in the wall when she punched it a few days ago, she couldn’t keep a straight face looking at it now but when she did it, it so wasn’t worth a broken hand. That had been a hard one to explain to the healers at the hospital wing. She couldn’t believe no one had fixed it yet. “Repro” she casted. She couldn’t believe how angry she had been when she left Lance. She suppose it was because she ran away to be with Lance then her mother was killed. Part of her told her if she hadn’t ran off her mother never would have been killed because she never would have gone looking for her. It broke Amelia’s heart every time she thought about thinking about the fact she could have saved her mother’s and her unborn sibling’s life. She also knew if she had been there was a chance that she would have been killed along with her mother. She had accepted that her mother wasn’t coming back and there was nothing she could do to bring her back but she can’t help not to wonder. She cursed at herself out loud for even thinking like that to bring up the healing wound.

She opened up her bag. She had made the choice not to go home for Christmas so her father, brothers and sisters sent their gifts. She should wait until Christmas but she decided she need something to cheer her up. She started with Claire’s and Jessica’s, a wand holster from Jessica, a drawing notebook from Claire and inside the notebook was a coloured drawing of mom. Amelia ran a hand over the drawing, it was so lifelike. She swore she could fell her mother in the drawing. From Edgar was glass potion bottle she opened the bottle just to confirm that inside was firewhisky. Drew gave her a charm to put on her gold charm bracelet.  She forced herself to open her father’s gift in fear it was going to make her cry. It was a huge box that had several small gifts in it. There was a heart locket with pictures of the family in it, engraved with the words ‘don’t ever give up faith’ words her mother always used to say, a pair of slippers and a wand box. Inside of the wand box was her mother’s wand. Just holding the wand was enough to make her cry, the locket was bad enough but something that was so important to her mother let alone her mother’s first and only wand. She was doing so well with everything. She hated Lance for making her emotional since she certainly couldn’t hate her family for sending such depressing gifts, she knew they were just trying to make it through all of this too.

((So sorry for the short post))

Alex sat outside in the Hogwarts courtyard. His parents thought he was depressed but it was none of that. He had just had a change of view. He'd seen friends die, he dealt with almost dying with himself. Even though he had friends, he still felt alone, because when it got to that point, they weren't there. So he sort of had reason in his head to be alone for the most of time.

He sighed and walked into the Hogwarts castle, then down to the Dungeons where he went to his Houses Hufflepuff common room. Hufflepuff wasnt as cheery as everybody thought, they were known for it, but in these dark times, even the Hufflepuff's werent all happy go lucky as everyone thought. As he walked in, he saw the same girl he'd been avoiding for a while. He walked over towards her slowly.. "Amelia.."

Amelia tensed when she heard that voice. She knew that voice so well now. It had been a long time since she had heard it. She remembered that huge blow-up they had. She never gotten to say sorry. She was going to send the letter when everything changed.

She took a sudden deep breath and cried to hide the fact she was crying. She knew what people were saying about her. She was sick of crying herself. She knew it wasn’t healthy to keep torturing herself with memories but this time it wasn’t her fault her family sent the gifts to her.

“Yes, Alex,” she said. She hoped she hadn’t sounded harsh or cold, Drew had told her that she sounded like that sometimes but she never noticed it. She didn’t turn around but she didn’t have to. She looked straight forward at a fix point on the wall. “Before I don’t say it, I’m sorry what happened at the end of last year I should have stood by you not Lance. You are the only person that has always been there and I let you down. I wish I could take that day back but I can’t,” she stated before she lost what bravery she could muster.

((It’s okay, my first post was really long even for me))

Alex sighed as he looked down on the ground, while Amelia stilled looked to the wall. In a way, Alex did pity her. Not actually pity her in a bad way, but that he had really felt bad for her. What happened to her, losing people close to her, and being hurt by Alex didn't make it any better. Then Amelia started talking, and Alex couldn't help but crack a little frown at her. "What do you mean you're sorry?" He asked a bit outraged. She was apologizing to him, but he didn't like that. "You loved or love Lance.. You should never be sorry for standing by him. I stood by you because I love you. You should never be sorry for what you did that day." He said. Alex completely felt that day, what was love or being in a relationship, if you're not gonna stand by them. To Alex the only time you shouldn't stand by your love, is when your parents are involved.

“Maybe I loved him, maybe I didn’t. I don’t even know. If I was going to stand by him I should have known,” grumbled Amelia. She wasn’t sure what she had felt towards Lance. She wasn’t really sure what loved felt like. Looking to what her parents had wasn’t a good example. There love was extremely twisted, she supposed that is her problem now. She doesn’t really know what love is supposed to look like, what her parents had wasn’t a healthy or normal relationship.

She laughed at herself thinking of the past two relationship she had. Neither worked very well. Both times while in them she thought she was in love. She also thought about how difficult and complex they both were. She had to admit they weren’t that much different from what she grew up with. But she didn’t want to be like her parents though. She didn’t want a relationship like that.

Alex sighed as she talked. Even though what she said made Alex wanna burst out more, he just stayed calm. He didn't know enough about relationships to judge Amelia, and she was his friend. He just looked at her. "Listen." He said. "Whatever. You don't really have to apologize to me." Then he turned away from her. "I was too caught up in myself... And...." He paused at the end, wondering what he could say. "And it's not what friends do. So I also wanna apologize.. For leaving you when you needed me. For kissing you and then avoiding you. For not coming to you first when I was given the chance to leave this place." Alex said and cracked a little smile.

“Let’s just say we’re even now. Let’s forget about everything and move on,” said Amelia smiling softly. That all was the past now. She was tired of living in the past. She wanted to live for now. There was so much more she had to live for in present time then in the past. She had her whole life ahead of her.

“No one is perfect. If you try to be perfect you lose who you are and become something you can’t even recognize. For now on let’s just stay the way we are. There is a world of people out there that are acting like something they aren’t, I don’t want to be one of them,” she said turning towards Alex. She shoved her gifts into her messenger bag. She made room for Alex to join her.