Oh, and just one other thing...

Jack had not been able to sleep. Not at all. She was haunted by a vision of Katrina Carlotta du Hunt looking absolutely pleased with herself as she turned Albus to the side that believed in hatred and darkness. Of course, this was not the actual sight that her eyes had found, but it was the idea that kept springing to her mind. She had continued on the rest of her day as though it were any other day, as though nothing was picking at her insides, making her squirm with uncertainty. She had picked up Sunny, went to the market to pick up cereal and milk, paid some bills, and had settled in to wake up early to train early in the morning.

And then she had lied awake all night.

She could not wrap her head around what she had seen but, worse, she could not wrap her head around why it mattered so much to her. Albus was just a brother of a friend, or, that's what he had been just a few short weeks earlier. Maybe she cared because he was her new rebel leader. Or maybe, because, she just wanted to ensure there would be one less person she had helped. Or maybe she had simply grown closer to the man in her time spent with him.

Whatever the reason, it had caused her to get up at three in the morning and owl her friend Teddy at the Ministry, demanding he check the records and give her the address of one Albus Potter. Three howlers later and she had a slip of paper reading a particular address in London. She couldn't exactly sleep, but she could lay peacefully.

She awoke the next morning and skipped the morning run, simply got Sunny ready and fed and took her off to school. And then, immediately after, she apparated her way onto the youngest Potter's doorstep.

She rang the bell, not minding that it was seven in the morning. She rang again, and knocked because, well, she hadn't slept so she didn't mind interrupting his sleep either.

I'm not a perfect person........there's many things I wish I didn't do.....

It wasn't a rare occurrence for Albus to listen to Muggle music. This one was a decade or so old, but he liked the flow of the music, as it pounded in his eardrums, earplugs intact. No, what was rare for Albus was to be lying in bed, bare-bodied, staring at the ceiling early in the morning.

But I continue learning...I never meant to do those things to you......

He should be happy. Very, very happy. The Rebels meet had gone well, they had actually managed to come to constructive decisions, forge a plan. He had met a woman whose skill with a wand was infamous, who was going to teach him, he was finally going to set his knowledge free. He should be happy. Very, very happy.

And so I have to say before I go......

The doorbell rang. Albus stared motionlessly at the ceiling for a few minutes, then hoisted himself up. Bare-footed, unmindful of the fact that he wasn't wearing a shirt, he trudged out of the room. Down the stairs, through the hallway. And then he opened the door.

Albus's thoughts whirled.....That I just want you to know...You look like something horrible just crawled up your ass and died....I've found a reason for me....You've heard about Nemo Omara, I'm sure....to change who I used to be....You don't owe anything to me. We're not friends Jack, and you don't have the bloody right to tell me where I should go.....a reason to start over new....I ripped open a girl's stomach with a Dark spell....

"Jack."

And the reason is you....

Jack's breath oddly left her body when the door opened. Her eyes found his face and locked eyes with him and she felt the urge to punch him. To begin screaming at him. Because she had gotten her hope's up that she might actually have some sort of ally, one who she could count on to do the right thing. But it turned out that everyone always turned their back on goodness, leaving her to flounder in her own inconvenient ethics, unable to abandon them because if she didn't have her goodness, she didn't have anything. It would be easier with someone alongside her.

But they could never be strong enough.

She didn't hit him though. She put on a strange, almost manic, smile. "Morning, Albus!" She pushed past him, cheer in her voice that sounded so strange considering the current condition of her heart. It pounded, twisted, crumbled. She swallowed the feeling down and turned to look at him. "Nice place you have here! I expected you to live in a tent or something more off the grid. Seems more like your taste."

She would not hear anything from him. She wasn't sure she could. Not when she knew, the second he began to speak, the whole gig was up. He would tell her he was sorry but Kat-Car had convinced him. He would tell her it was over, he would be siding with the Death Eaters from now on, and she was now his enemy. This... this thing, this friendship, if that was what it truly was, was over before it could even really begin. And Jack just... couldn't stand to lose anyone else.

"Rebel meeting went well, eh? I thought the turn out was decent, but the ideas and willingness to act was amazing. Really exciting. We should keep our eyes on Ne'Os, though. I have issues with him. Then there's the picnic to look forward to. Oh, and just one more thing. What the hell were you talking to Katrina-Carlotta du Hunt for?!" And there it was.

Her voice had raised, an obvious strain there. She turned, finally looking at him. Her lip was caught under her bottom lip, and she tried to swallow, but it got stuck halfway, keeping her throat tensed. She stared at him, adjusting her stance so she could stand with more conviction, more confidence. But there was something in the strength of her voice, the passion that showed there was some true weakness underneath all that was compensating for it.

The disappointment was so sharp, so tangible in her face that it actually hurt.

He pulled out his earplugs and she pushed past him, door closing with a snap. She babbled inanely, her every word sucking in more and more oxygen from the room till it felt like the very air would crack with the tension. Her voice....oh gods..her voice. So very strong. But it quavered at the ends of syllables, like it wanted to do nothing more than to scream, to yell, to shriek, to tear until it died out altogether.

And throughout, Albus stood in front of the door, a floating thought rebounding off the confines of his mind and echoing in his head: She cares.

"-talking to Katrina-Carlotta du Hunt for?"

Every muscle was coiled so tight, stomach clenching, that it felt like they were crying out in protest. Wanting, needing balance, Albus leaned backwards till his bare back came into contact with the rough wood. The cool touch against his heated skin anchored him. His lips moved, "Nothing. She placed a proposal before me. I disagreed."

He looked up, expecting her to strike him down for lying. But he was a good liar. A very good one. He had been living behind a mask for his whole life, after all. And this was for Jack's good, her own mental well-being. She didn't need to know. He had been lying to others, to himself for years. One more delusion didn't hurt. Only if he knew who he was deluding.

He took one step. Then another, till there were bare inches left between them. Only the force of the next truth allowed him to raise his eyes, meeting hers squarely, "You need to trust me more than that, you know. I'm never going to step out of line. I did promise you something, after all."

The echo of her words wavered between them, almost visible in the air. She could feel the muscles twitching beneath her skin to maintain a still expression, one that was determined and pursed but, if she gave up her power to control it, could morph into something inexcusably worried, sad or ever afraid. When it came down to it, Jack was a bit frightened. She had faced dragons, werewolves, Death Eaters, poltergeists, and death itself, but the idea of losing another ally, just when it seemed impossible that another person could walk out of her life... She simply did not know if she could handle it again, and she didn't want to find out if she could.

But she was ready for it. What else could he say but that he and changed his mind, traded his alliance. But his denial of it... it took the breath out of her. She didn't believe it - she couldn't she. She was too used to everything going to shit to believe that it had been okay this time, that there was no reason to worry. The idea of something working out for the best was simply too foreign.

"Wha- you denied?" she repeated, because he had to assure her it was true. He stepped closer, and his words drove a stake of guilt into her, though she tried to push it out. Yes, of course she felt stupid for barging in here all upset, but she had to be certain. After all... she had allied the Order with the Rebels practically, right? That was the reason this mattered. That was all.

"I've learned that I take promises much more seriously than those I make promises with usually do," she said quietly, betraying a small hint of the vulnerability she so often denied the existence of in this world. "It's just... du Hunt is clever. She's not like the others. She knows how to seduce a brain. And... I'd really like to know that you and I can work towards something good for this world and du Hunt is the type that could derail-" She wasn't making any sense, so she stopped herself. "Look. I don't have any claim to what you do, and I should trust you more, I just... don't want to end up on the wrong side of things. And, I'd really like help."

Her neck burned, for she never admitted any willingness for help, but she was desperate to ensure she really had his support. She swallowed. "Besides. I own Satan's, so I know for a fact you must be a bit mental to actually go there." She grinned, albeit weakly, for humor was a girl's best shield.

Guilt. He had been expecting a bit of it yes, from the second he had agreed to Katrina-Carlotta.....but this. This churning, gutting feeling like a tornado in the chest, the serpent gliding up the sternum and coiling around the base of the throat...he hadn't expected this. Hadn't expected the almost physical blow as the worry, the..-fear?- in Jack's eyes erased itself to flicker with hope. Like....like she had tried her best to crush the glowing cinders, but the flame of hope burned on.

Then a reddish flush started working its way up her cheeks as she looked away, clearly embarrassed for doubting him. A muscle in Albus's jaw twitched, god, how could she not see? See how he was shamelessly lying to her face, using her own pride to obliterate every scrap of doubt she had ever had.....two desires, both terrifyingly strong twisted in Albus's heart; one which prayed that she may never know......one which longed to yell at Jack to see how stupid she was being to trust him.

She started talking, in a quiet vulnerable voice, till the second desire grew and grew and squirmed in his chest, and Albus's lips actually moved, flickered just for a second, as if to confess. Then she looked up honestly and asked for help; and Albus was damned again. He couldn't tell the truth, it would crush her. She would stand straight, speak strong as she always had......but she wouldn't take it easily. The desire to speak squirmed for one last time: then died out.

Almost, as if by itself, his right hand rose, fingers curling around Jack's shoulder in a mock-imitation of her gesture on that night. Albus didn't know who he was reassuring, "We will succeed, Jack. And...." He paused, and recklessly went on. "You won't be alone. Not this time."

A tight exhalation of breath. Jack tried to joke, and Albus grasped at it thankfully, gut still churning. "Yes. Mental." A self-deprecating laugh. "That's me."

Albus' hand found her shoulder and she felt her gaze raise to his. There was something weaker in this gesture, something weaker in his gaze and his promise to her. It was not the same strength and hope he had given her when she had found him collapsed in the streets. It was not the same connection they had shared when he had admitted some of his deep, dark secrets. It suddenly felt so clear to Jack that they were just two people who knew each other, nothing more. Jack wasn't sure what she had thought, but she had overthought and she could not make that mistake again.

And, as he laughed, she began to lose her recognition of him. This seemed like James' little brother, rather than Albus Potter. Just her best friend's little brother that she might run into when she was visiting. He was applying some sort of mask, distancing himself from her.

"Don't do that," she said, quietly stern. "Don't start acting like a stranger. And Albus, don't you dare lie to me because, I swear to Merlin, if you make me think there's no need to worry and there is, I'll- I'll... I don't know what, but I'm already this close to putting someone in the ground and you don't want to be the one to put me over the edge."

Her eyes were clouding over now. Slowly, slowly, like a layer of fog sliding over to take its place over open eyes. Like the glassy eyes he had first seen in Diagon Alley.

He had seen a fine crack in the glass the day she confessed about Nemo, a running, widening chasm the night he confessed about his Dark magic, and today minutes ago as she stared, breathless, anxious and fearful, standing at the door, her eyes were open. Completely. But now something was covering them up, and an inexorable, dreadful realisation emerged from the turning ocean that was his mind: in the few minutes that they had, the few words that he said, they had gone backwards. They were back to square one. And this realisation......scared him. But he was helpless to do anything about it.

Or was he?

Fear, fear gripped his mind and turned it upside-down, shadowing all other thoughts and doubts and whatever stupid decisions he might have taken minutes back. His left hand came to join his right, and both his hands were around her upper arms in a tight grip, almost as if preparing to shake her back to normalcy. And Albus couldn't bring himself to give a damn. He couldn't....couldn't lose his friend...his only friend. His eyes bore into hers, his voice a study of tightly-compressed composure. "You're not a stranger." All past events, desires, lies....burned away with the force of the truth escaping his lips. "Trust me. I won't do anything that'll make you worry, anything that endangers what we've tried to build. Anything that makes you think I'm not in this, on your side anymore. Trust me." Please.

In the drive to prove himself, perhaps the eye-contact lasted for a few seconds too long. The moment the thought dawned in Albus's mind, his hold loosened, his hand dropping to his sides as though burned. He turned away, back muscles rolling and clenching, shoulders lowered as though burdened. "S...sorry. Might've been a bit too forceful there."

He now held both of her shoulders and their eyes met and held. Jack's jaw tightened - she had been far too transparent. She did not like the idea of seeing right through her. In her school years, she had been completely uncomplicated - what you saw what what you got. But as things complicated with Vito, secrets arose. As she disappointed friend after friend, she hid the information that would surely break her loved one's hearts. As she was exposed to the cruelties of the world, she laughed louder, because what would the innocents do if she told them what monsters lurked around them?

She was comfortable with hiding, comfortable with pretending as though things were completely different from what they really were. But she had been so brutally honest with Albus, so exposed, and she didn't like it. Because everyone broke your trust - you had to choose who it was worth to be hurt by, and she had chosen very poorly in the past.

"Right," she said, her voice strained. "Okay. I will. But... you need to trust me too, alright?" He released her and withdrew, and she fought the urge to defensively cross her arms. They remained at her sides and she smiled, "A touch. But I'm tough - no worries."

She cleared her throat. It was seven in the morning and he wasn't even fully dressed. "Mind if I stay for a cup of coffee? I didn't get my morning wake up call yet."

Right. Okay. I will.

This had to end. The sooner, the better. He was going to meet Katrina-Carlotta at the end of the week, one lesson, and then he would say no. He would refuse to ever meet her again. He had spent years practicing by himself, self-schooled, self-scanned....he would continue as he was, as he always had been.

A sacrifice. The thought suddenly dawned with the force of a dazzling sun in Albus's mind. A sacrifice of his desires. For...

No, no, it wasn't for her. It was for the sake of his own sanity. Yes, that was it.

Albus suddenly jerked out of his thoughts as Jack spoke. "Coffee? Yeah sure....hang on, I'll fix a spot of breakfast too...." He walked slowly, bare feet padding against the cool tiles, to the attached kitchen. Drawing himself behind the counter, he began gathering the usuals: sliced chicken, lettuce, cucumber, tomatoes, vinaigrette...the salad basics. Began chopping vegetables economically, lost in the monotony, mind still dwelling on his red-haired guest and the woman who had endangered everything.

Dyllan wants you to be hers, you know.

Albus froze mid-motion, right hand gripped tightly around the chopping knife. Damn, he had almost forgotten. Then, with another flush....crap, his clothes. He raised his voice, not as steady as he would've liked, "Um....Jack? My shirt's probably lying on the stool in the hallway...bring it for me, would you?"