*SHE CAN MAKE BABIES FOR ME
( Oh, and I can’t?! I can’t…)
F used to be for failure. But I think it's for friends.*
((acquaintance)) I can do that because I'm their Messiah
((good friend)) Hello rich people? I’m joining you, yes I'll hold
((childhood friend)) If we rub that, will he come out and do celebrity impressions?
((lost friend)) Sorry about my partner. He's been on my edge ever since we switched.
((I know you)) You have a beard…. And a ponytail.
((same circles)) say it in a high-pitched voice while walking backwards.
((inner circle)) He is magical an elf-like man who makes us all more magical by being near him.
((BFF)) do you know how many sitcoms have done the secretly replace a priceless item thing?
((partners in crime)) Brought to you by the yogurt Jamie Lee Curtis uses to poop
((party buddy)) you tried to destroy us but you made us more awesome
((drinking buddy)) Do we have to refill the toilet olives?
((like family)) You're the best roommate. Wanna stay up all night talking in our bunkbeds?
((secret friends)) that guys sucks harder than toilets in an airplane bathroom
((confidant)) if you want to get us a gift we're registered at Linens n' Things.
*YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY INSANE
(you’re still into keytar?!)
This is the kind of nightmare where I think grandma died!*
((friends turned)) he's been creepy weird like present day Robin Williams
((dislike)) Looks like someone woke up on the regular side of bed.
((one sided)) How did you know my nickname was T-Bone?
((jealousy)) Take a pottery class or something
((betrayal)) Real friends help me with things, not vice versa.
((avoidance)) I choose not be around rats because they are unpopular.
((lovehate)) You're more of a fun vampire. You don't suck blood, you just suck.
((rivalry)) Yeah, in your face Billy Joel. Who’s Billy Joel?
((tension)) Do you know how foolish you sound? What else do you believe in, blood transfusions?
((family feud)) First time I got punched in the face, I was like oh no, then I was like this is a story.
((enemies)) I’m sick of you saying that fighting is gay.
((nemesis)) A switch is a stick she can use to whoop you with.
((hardcorehate)) I could have driven you, slut!
* DON’T BE ALARMED IF THINGS GET NOISY
(I suddenly have the weirdest boner)
Me emotions! My emotions!!!*
((ex)) Girls are supposed to dance. That's why God gave them parts that jiggle.
((onetime)) you would never catch a Jehovah's Witness saying "jewey.”
((current)) but if it was cool to eat God, he'd be a chicken finger.
((fling)) I gotta stop hanging out with her. She sounds like a chicken finger.
((lust)) impossible to guard you, your eyes are too gentle and mysterious
((crush on you)) I hope I get multiple personalities. I get lonely in long showers.
((crush on me)) Did you know that go-gurt is just yogurt?
((flirting)) Ice cream is everywhere, but never on your thighs.
((physical attraction)) There is a time and a place for subtlety and that was before Scary Movie.
((secret lovers)) I wish my mouth was farther away from my brain.
((true love)) I wish I was a book. She could pick me up, flip through my pages.
*CLEAN UP ON AISLE BURNED
( That doesn't make sense! Ketchup is a condiment!)
what? My name is butt soup.*
((family)) was gonna be the first person in my family to graduate from community
((bad influence)) Why's she teaching Spanish if she's a doctor? Go cure something.
((good influence)) they're making us walk around with pretzels in our butts
((bad influence)) m y uncle was struck by lightning. You'd think it would give you superpowers
((professor)) Do they find thoughts in our butts? I knew I should've read that book.
((classmate)) I wanna see if those wiener dogs are born that way, or if they start off normal
((teammate)) Alcohol makes people sad. It's like the Lifetime movies of beverages.
((admiration)) Latvian Independence Parade. Don't look at me, they had the proper permits
((protective)) I don't need to know which dracula I am to be a dracula. Nerd.
((respect)) a re you sure my costume isn't on backwards? Somehow I felt more confident before.
((disrespect)) d Who taught you therapy, Michael Jackson's dad?
((other)) In what war is he a criminal? In the battle for our affections?!?
*NEVER CHANGE... OR DO, I'M NOT YOUR BOSS
Best friends since.... well since forever! Always together and always getting into trouble together, if you see one, you probably see the other.((acquaintance)) I can do that because I'm their Messiah((good friend)) Hello rich people? I’m joining you, yes I'll hold((childhood friend)) If we rub that, will he come out and do celebrity impressions?((same circles)) say it in a high-pitched voice while walking backwards.((inner circle)) He is magical an elf-like man who makes us all more magical by being near him.((BFF)) do you know how many sitcoms have done the secretly replace a priceless item thing?((partners in crime)) Brought to you by the yogurt Jamie Lee Curtis uses to poop((party buddy)) you tried to destroy us but you made us more awesome ((drinking buddy)) Do we have to refill the toilet olives?((like family)) You're the best roommate. Wanna stay up all night talking in our bunkbeds?
Your a really good friend, and your are super fun to be around with.((good friend)) Hello rich people? I’m joining you, yes I'll hold
((I know you)) You have a beard…. And a ponytail. ((same circles)) say it in a high-pitched voice while walking backwards.((inner circle)) He is magical an elf-like man who makes us all more magical by being near him.((party buddy)) you tried to destroy us but you made us more awesome ((drinking buddy)) Do we have to refill the toilet olives? 
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