"I hope I don't do anything wrong."
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"I hope I don't do anything wrong." Li9olo10

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"I hope I don't do anything wrong."

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Post by Apollo Zabini Thu Mar 30, 2017 3:00 am

This was not the sort of interaction that Apollo wanted to have with Professor Lupin. Not after the talk spreading around, not after he'd messed up so badly in the one class that he desperately needed to do his best. The past week had been a struggle. A challenge that he didn't know he needed to overcome until it was too late. And now he was paying for his mistakes.

Biting down on the inside of his cheek, Apollo climbed the stairs to the fourth floor, just hoping that the headmaster wasn't around. He couldn't deal with both of them. In fact, he had been avoiding Hayes as best as he could. The party was possibly his biggest mistake ever, but he couldn't bring himself to regret it. It had led to Christmas with Lily. But it had made everything so, incredibly complicated.

He hesitated, fidgeting a little, before tugging the chain on his charm so he could lift it out of his school robes. Clutching it for a moment, he waited for Lily to respond despite the fact that she couldn't have known why. Then he put it away as he walked up to Teddy's office, almost frowning when he saw that the door was partly open. It meant, on the one hand, that he didn't have to wait to see the professor's response to the Slytherin showing up. On the other, Apollo was out of time.

Keeping a respectful amount of distance between himself and the doorway, he reached forward and knocked.


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Post by Teddy R. Lupin Thu Mar 30, 2017 3:34 am

Teddy had turned out to be a pretty horrible counselor when it came down to it. In hindsight, he supposed he would have been better at the job if his family had not been torn asunder by crisis after crisis. It had shaken his confidence, thrown doubts over his instincts, made him second guess every decision. Choosing to teach instead gave him the chance to be helping people without so much of the personal responsibility. When he was dealing with an entire class, it was hard to pin the failure of one student on his own failings.

But there was a student who was failing recently, and though Teddy could not claim any responsibility in it, those counseling instincts had kicked in. Apollo Zabini had been a natural. Teddy had noticed all year how the subject just seemed to come to Apollo, and yet the boy had also been diligent in his studies, focused in a way he did not seem to be in his other classes - because professors totally talked to each other about their students.

So, when the focus slipped, and the work grew sloppier, Teddy took notice. When Apollo was the only one to not turn in his assignment, Teddy had given him a disappointed frown, with no real intention to guilt or upset the boy, but from the way Apollo seemed to deflate under his gaze, Teddy knew that he was at least aware.

It was for this reason that he wasn't really surprised when Apollo walked in after he called in that whoever it was could come inside.

He was behind his desk, sorting through a binder full of lesson plans as he tried to rework after his third years had gotten a few days behind. He offered a bracing grimace, not sure a smile was completely warranted. "Mr Zabini. I was hoping we'd get a chance to talk."

That was all he would say for now. Let him say what he needed to without Teddy taking the reins prematurely.
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Post by Apollo Zabini Thu Mar 30, 2017 7:38 am

Mr. Zabini.

Apollo had never gotten used to being called that, even after six years. It reminded him too much of his father sometimes, and although he would never escape that name or the fact that he and Christian would both have to hear that for the rest of their lives, he could do with a few more years of just being Apollo.

Finally, finally, he seemed to be learning who that young man was.

But today wasn't one for introspection. Not anymore. He gave a little nod - it was almost an ashamed bow, really - before stepping forward. "Yeah, I-.. I could make excuses, but I know that wouldn't help my case. Really, the assignment just.. slipped my mind," he claimed, shrugging a little too dramatically. "I know there probably isn't much you can do, but if there's any way for me to make it up.."

He trailed off, unsure what he could reasonably ask for. Probably not much.
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Post by Teddy R. Lupin Thu Mar 30, 2017 8:27 am

It was a weird mingling of emotion. He wasn't ever happy to see students look unhappy - he wasn't like Ashcroft who seemed to enjoy their misery, he really wanted to make their lives better - but it was encouraging that Apollo actually cared. So many students became apathetic and entitled that these conversations usually devolved more into arguments than discussions. As if that would help? Students seemed to forget that he had no incentive to negotiate their grades beyond his own kindness.

Or was he just that transparent?

He frowned a little bit as he surveyed the Slytherin. If this weren't a job, he would probably wave it off, tell him he knew it wasn't like him, try to give him a victory to look back on. But, rules.

That made two Potters kept from making Apollo Zabini feel better because of their position as professors.

"Have you been alright lately?" Teddy asked, hesitation in his voice. "I don't mean to overstep, but I've noticed you seem a little withdrawn, and your work quality has gone down. You're still at the top of the class, but you're grades are starting to slip. Is there something going on?"

Because this was the real reason Teddy had become a professor. One day a student would need his help. And he'd be there.
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Post by Apollo Zabini Thu Mar 30, 2017 8:22 pm

Wait, Really? Apollo had a very hard time believing that this professor knew nothing of what had been happening. He was basically Lily's brother, and students Apollo was forced to live with were basically absurd. How had the rumors not reached him? Apollo had hoped for this sort of scenario only moments beforehand but he decided he wanted to take that back. It made this much harder, because now he had to twist his words and then somehow find a way to make up for it later.

Yeah, that would be a great first impression.

Did he tell the whole truth or just parts of it? Would Lily be fired or Apollo expelled if he did? Hayes hadnt done anything about it after seeing them with his own eyes, so perhaps the headmaster understood that they had been classmates only a year before. Giving up any affinity like that couldn't be have been easy. It wasn't.

Either he told Teddy the entire thing, or Apollo had to claim that he was a pathetic excuse for a Sixth Year - for a Slytherin, as well - and say that he had collapsed under the weight of his classmates' bullying. That wasn't strictly false, but it wasn't right either.

Apollo felt lost again. But not as desperately. If nothing else, Professor Lupin might take pity on him if he tripped over his words too much.

He didn't sit, but rather stood awkwardly behind the chair meant for students when they came in for help. Apollo wasn't one hundred percent sure a hat he was here for.

"No," he admitted almost easily, "I haven't been. I won't try to deny that. The other students - and I think a number of the professors - caught wind of my recent breakup. It was... bad. Neither of us wanted it, but I can admit that I took it much worse. My classmates have made it their game to torment me with it. I'm just trying to.. get back on track."

Apollo shrugged, realizing that he hadn't been making even an attempt at eye contact. It still felt like a lie. But if Lily wanted to hide it from her brother, Apollo couldn't go against that. Whether it was a trust thing or just something between the two of them, the Slytherin had no idea. But it wasn't at all his place to judge, considering Christian.


Last edited by Apollo Zabini on Tue Apr 04, 2017 2:53 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Post by Teddy R. Lupin Thu Mar 30, 2017 8:42 pm

Teddy tried to keep his head above the gossip of the students, finding it only made it harder to actually help them. Because, like it or not, the mind immediately began to assign labels and press judgements, which wasn't fair when the source was untrustworthy and the topic something that shouldn't concern him as a professor anyway. He knew some of the other professors like to keep a metaphorical ear to the ground about such matters, but Teddy stayed out of it all he could. He heard, at the most, whispers. But Maddie, easily his closest friend at Hogwarts, was in the same boat he was, and they never discussed such matters.

(Imagine Teddy's surprise when, at a later time, Kathryn Jericho finally burst out that she had heard about Apollo and Lily and had not known what to say because she knew Teddy and Lily didn't talk anyway.)

So, Teddy had heard a whisper of a whisper, and though his mind immediately demanded further explanation about anything to do with his godsister,  a more logical part of him immediately satisfied the itch with the reminder that it was not his business. Besides, Lily was hardly a sociable girl. How would she have even broken that barrier? And this was the boy she had scratched. Hardly the makings for a whirlwind romance.

The imaginations on some people.

Teddy waved his hand towards the seat, in case Apollo wanted to relax a bit, and closed the binder in front of him, sliding it away. "I'm sorry to hear that," he said, and there was an unmistakable sincerity to it. "Hogwarts can be a safe haven, but it's like any other home - you spend enough time locked in with the same people and tensions run high and people show their worst." He paused, offering the advice he knew that no one ever took, but he still felt obligated to offer. "You can always talk to your Head of House about specific incidents... Though I know that doesn't always have the desired effect of lessening the negative attention." He frowned.
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Post by Apollo Zabini Fri Mar 31, 2017 2:55 am

Sighing quietly, Apollo stepped around and sank into the chair, wishing that he had thought to shut the door behind him. Too late now. It was unnerving. He had, indeed, been apologized to now, which was one of the things Apollo hadn't wanted. But at least there hadn't been any sarcasm or hint of the professor feeling particularly strongly about Apollo's relationship. Couldn't have known, then.

He wasn't sure if he felt relieved or disappointed. But it didn't matter what Apollo wanted. This actually wasn't about the relationship at all. This was about his future career, and the knowledge that Lily supported it made him all the more certain. He had to ensure that nothing in the world could prevent him from becoming a Healer when he graduated.

He wanted to point out that one of his housemates had told Lily herself that he was embarrassing their house by actually having emotions, but that seemed unhelpful. So he bit it back and tried to find something to replace it with.

"I would rather not talk to Professor Aldon, if I'm being honest," he settled on instead. "She seems determined to be our best friend, and somehow I doubt she would really manage to make anything better. Not that I don't appreciate the fact that she's at least trying to be kind," Apollo clarified quickly. "I just.. it's like you said. It probably wouldn't help like I'd hope it would."

He shook his head, tempted to avoid the entire topic if possible. "I just want to try and make this up if the opportunity is there. I understand if it isn't, but.. The only thing that I'm really working towards right now is graduating so I can become a healer," among other things. But the graduation part was true. "It's not what's expected of me, but I haven't felt this sure of anything before."
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Post by Teddy R. Lupin Sat Apr 01, 2017 6:05 am

Apollo didn't seem pleased to be asked to settle in, which Teddy supposed was fair enough. No student actually liked spending any sort of extended time with their professors, especially not when a grade negotiation was part of the deal. Teddy doubted there would be a time when he could actually be a wholly positive influence to his students, as authority always marred trust - especially when it came to teenagers.

Teddy had always told himself he would never speak ill of a coworker, no matter how much they might deserve it... so he allowed himself a knowing smile instead at Apollo's explanation, nodding. "I understand. As last I heard, being chummy with professors wasn't exactly something that earned you points."

See. Teddy knew what the kids thought about things. He knew what was cool - oh no, was he old??

Refocusing on Apollo, Teddy nodded. "Expectations aren't always in our best interest," Teddy said knowingly. Because if anyone knew anything about expectations, it was the people raised by Harry and Ginny Potter. He hummed thoughtfully, drumming his fingers on the desk. "Well, you're one of the few students actually intending to go into the field. I know you did some apprenticing over at Mungo's - I could give you a little extra credit for that, I'm sure, as it's related. For the assignment, you could either write a new essay on a topic of your choice, or... if you'd like more practical work, I could talk to Professor McKillon about you assisting in the greenhouses a bit, specifically on any of the plants we've covered this year."
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Post by Apollo Zabini Wed Apr 05, 2017 4:16 am

"Funny you should mention my apprenticeship.."

Apollo hadn't thought of it until just then. But it was a genius plan, if he'd ever had one, so he wasn't going to let it go to waste. Instead, he could use this whole thing to his advantage. And poor Professor Lupin would never know the difference.

"After we talked I was actually going to speak to the Headmaster about taking it up again. He said this thing once about how we could go after classes to apprenticeships if we got one." Apollo shrugged casually. "I was hoping to take some time away from the school to do that. So, as much as I like Herbology, I'm just not sure I could do both."

And, really, could he handle another professor asking about his well-being? He wasn't just being bullied, as far as Teddy knew. He was also supposedly heartbroken. It couldn't seem so strange, then, that he would want some space and fewer people involved. Particularly fewer adults.

Adults weren't helpful. He couldn't even rely on his own parents. Why would he suddenly start trusting other ones? Short answer: he wouldn't.

So Apollo reached up to run his fingers through his hair. He felt a bit guilty, now that he'd lied outright to Lily's godbrother. Just as he had quietly known he would. But, hindsight and all that.

"I'd be more than willing to do that paper, though. Or whatever you think is best."
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