Welcome to Potter’s Army

Potter’s Army is a roleplaying site that's been up and running since 2007. We pride ourselves on fostering a welcoming and helpful community where all levels of writers are accepted.

In this alternate universe, Lord Voldemort is dead, but so is Harry Potter. Factions continue to fight, Hogwarts educates the next generation of witches and wizards, and the Ministry of Magic does its best to hold everything together.

It is 2030 in the Wizarding World

Help us get new members by voting below

Honeydukes Topsites Top 50 RPGs Top RPG Sites
Word Counter

words: 0


Share
View previous topicGo downView next topic
avatar
Fifth Year Slytherin
Fifth Year Slytherin
View user profile

DELACOUR, Cirilla Fleur

on Wed Oct 05, 2016 6:59 am
           
MAIN
They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense
   
   

   Character's Legal Name: Cirilla Fleur Delacour

   Age: Fifteen, Fifth Year

   Hogwarts House: Slytherin

   Blood Type:  Pureblood, Tainted

   Species: Part Veela (how much Veela, I left open to admin's decision)

   Face claim: Taylor Momsen
   
   



               
APPEARANCE
...Aunt Petunia often said that Dudley looked like a baby angel - Harry often said that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig
   
   
A petite wisp of a girl that can enter the room as a force as subtle as a breeze or as intense as a whirlwind. Cirilla supports a slim frame wrapped with a surprising - though not quite remarkable (appropriately - in comparison to a more completely developed adult), degree of wiry muscles, toned from her childhood in the treetops, and from her best efforts as a child to aid her mother in all household chores and other such necessities. Though not entirely sure how tall she will yet grow, (as her mother before her - from which she had inherited much of her appearance - though, she could not accurately access which physical traits she had truly inherited from her biological father in his absence from her life - had been a small child, but had upon further development later in her adolescent life, sprouted many inches above the average woman's height) she has no true evidence to sway her beliefs that she will inherit this too, from her mother's side, or to think otherwise.

When she moves it tends to be smooth while controlled, little effort wasted (a becoming, and naturally occurring behavior which is often mistaken for confidence on first glance, something which could not be any further from the reality of Cirilla's true insecurity) - feeling lucky, almost as though she had dodged a great tragedy, that she too has not been cursed as many in her year have, to lumber awkwardly about, gangly and clumsy, for the entirety of her adolescent life; in this instance, thankful to the point of great relief for the small packaging that she had been neatly bundled up in, and delivered to age fifteen.

Controlled, of course, unless thrown into any situation not resembling her familiar comfort zone – which, to be honest, is far more common these days during her Fifth Year education. While she rarely drops her gaze when confronting others she does find herself overwhelmed when meeting theirs straight-on and has the habit of breaking eye contact. A quirk she tries to fight but has yet to overcome.

When she smiles, which is often, her whole visage brightens. Her rich brown eyes, full lips, and soft curve of her brows tend to betray her surface emotions with no need for effort to read them on her audience's part (both a curse, and a gift when looked upon in the right light; these qualities making Cirilla a better actress - one ambition among an ocean of many others - in regards, at least, to easily conveying emotion - than, say, her more reserved, or stoic counterpart). She also has only recently found that she blushes far too easily; the warm rose blooms across her cheeks amidst her fair skin and a faint dusting of freckles.

A trait that can greatly affect how some may observe her, is her hair, like that of the ef·fer·ves·cent unicorn, this identifying trademark of her Delacour, Veela heritage a stunning sight of elegance. This trait, her every ashen strand, is the only that has been touched by her part Veela blood, and which Cirilla has found, in her only two experiences thus far in her adolescence with the powerful sway of this uncontrolled Veela ability (which has only exposed itself to her on two, purely accidental occasions), greatly intimidates her in her youthful innocence. An innocence, at least, in regards to romantic encounters, if nothing else.

As far as her manner of dress, she presently prefers layers - airy fabrics coupled with heavy (knock-you-out-cold-if-ever-swung-at-with heavy)  knit pieces, as well as anything with an air of elegance or an edge of sophistication. While away from Hogwarts on Holiday or over summers (away from any prying, or eager to judge Slytherin eyes; when Cirilla was more prone to reveal her more honest and preferred sense of style; an entirely more practical way of dress, its allowance for free movement and tree climbing a compromise for the graceful attire that her peers had made her more familiar with) thick / chunky boots, laces, buckles, and well worn, flexible leather are some of her attire's more frequented accessories. For her mother and two brothers had never once cared how she looked, only how accurate her spells were and how aggressively she could fly.

This way of dress, of course, in stark contrast with what an outsider, or her fellow student,  might associate with the girl; the look with which they had now become accustomed to spying her in at Hogwarts (besides her mandatory uniform, of course), this side of her style depending greatly on the ebb and flow of fashion trends among her more financially gifted and sophisticated peers (children of her age, not limited to her house or status as a witch or person of magic ability). Clothing more along the lines of such: delicate, dangling  jewelry, her preference being to silver over gold as according to the trends of the coming Winter months, stacked upon too-tight, grating fabrics bearing labels that boast pricey, elitist brands that felt as though they clung to her in every single way that it shouldn't (though, in truth this style suited her elegant part-Veela features far more nicely than her honest sense of style ever could to her fellow students), heels of ankle-breaking heights and headbands.

The practices of keeping her hair shiny and her wardrobe up-to-date inevitably fell to the wayside in favor of keeping her broom strong and her eyes sharp until the necessity and importance of such things had been cruelly thrust upon her by her peers upon her arrival at Hogwarts in her Acceptance in to Hogwarts (for she had, before her acceptance, spent her childhood in solitude, whilst not playing alongside her two older brothers), as well as the Second, Third, and Fourth Year that followed. Fashion trends and the vanity of 'beauty' maintenance suddenly demanded much of her attention, and had instantaneously become a great source of her insecurity in herself - but she had learned by means of mimicry impressively quick,
out of necessity, of course, she had managed to convince herself with the persuasive assistance of peer pressure.

But her mother had been and continues to be immensely supportive of these sudden, and ever-swaying whims, despite her wisdom in the subject (her knowledge that Cirilla would soon grow out of her need to impress by means of designer clothing or popular trend shortly after when she would truly find herself with the ending of her adolescence, and the introduction of her adulthood), taking on not her second, but third position in the Wizarding World to provide her only daughter with what the child now felt critical in her attempts to fit in among her fellow  young women.
   

   





               

PERSONALITY
......If only the hat had mentioned a house for people who felt a bit queasy, that would have been the one for him
   

   

Cirilla is an aspiring social climber, though easily intimidated. And while she physically resembles her many female Delacour predecessors, bearing the sir name and heritage like a badge with her facial features and unmistakable ashen hair, she often tries to fit in with the rich-girl clique, which makes up a small portion of her peers at Hogwarts (almost in spite of the obvious nature of her ancestry; The infamous Beauxbatons Veela women & the Blood-Traitor Weasleys - what an excellent place to begin in Slytherin - what were her family trying to do, turn her into a social outcast, after all?). This, being the perspective of a young and impressionable child simply trying to fit in, or to be liked by everyone, only.

While she trembled with every critical and high-intensity social interaction, or conversation with her popular superiors, she now feels it would be a
death sentence, to disclose how shaky her confidence really is - as well as how obsessively aware she is that she doesn’t (yet she told herself) so much as hold a place in their social world. For even if she were to be socially forgiven by her peers for her Blood Traitor (a  pair of words that had brought young Cirilla to tears on many an occasion - a worthy insult from any foe) family, being from a middle-class household (which by many of the more financially gifted students' - those who were, anyhow - standards could easily be considered "poor"), Cirilla's attempts at achieving popularity seemed to her to be almost entirely hopeless.

But you wouldn't know by her efforts. Young and
painfully insecure, yet spunky and driven to get what she wants, little "Ciri" often goes to wild and embarrassing lengths (not socially of course - no{i] that would be the [/i]death of her - but rather, in regards to the compromise of her own moral value) to begin to attempt to set up for herself an image of absolute confidence, a cruel temperament towards those dubbed "weak" or "inferior" by her pressuring peers, and class. Behaviour which causes much consternation for her well-meaning and protective brothers.

The irony of this brand new mimicked behavior (where ever did she copy
that from, her parents wondered) that Cirilla had thus far been, for the entirety of her fifteen years of life, a particularly humble being, who had never once shown evidence of paying any consideration to blood purity, financial or social status to her parents. Not once had the girl as a child, before her teens, ever shown any interest in participating in such bullying, prejudice or snap judgment.In fact, the only review of the rather unremarkable girl that Gabrielle had ever received had always been, word for word, "What a sweet girl she is. Far too impressionable, though. Best watch after that one close." Had the sweet, impressionable young witch turned for the worst under such negative peer influences? Or was this seemingly out of character behavior simply a lesson in crowd-pleasing gone sour?

Anyone who
truly knew sweet young child knew better than to ever assume the former; Gabrielle had never once identified a single bigoted bone in Cirilla as a child, casual or otherwise (though, unbeknownst to her mother, Ciri's moral compass was quickly becoming compromised), nor was she some blood prejudiced fool. As a child, Ciri had been sugar, spice and everything nice, straight to her core. Even, if it seemed, this was no longer entirely the case anymore. She was simply too impressionable. Those who had known her as a child would often tell Gabrielle that this was "only a phase"; this was "only an attempt to fit in, to be loved" - for this had always been all that little Cirilla had ever wanted of everyone. [u]But, those who had known little Ciri as a child, certainly did not know her now.

Cirilla is a girl who drinks in the light of the moon and the stars like she can use it to fuel the silver edges of her veins. Where her brother is viciously attacking paper with more colours than Cirilla could ever care to imagine and the other (her second brother) is singing in a language that she can only understand snatches of, Cirilla is clutching stacks of novels with titles such as __________ and poring over every word like if she stares hard enough at the way the ink is imprinted onto the page, then she can find everything she's looking for.

She's going to be a renowned witch, an esteemed professor, a famous musician - her dreams seemed to change with each passing age. But no matter which would outweigh the rest when she inevitably reached the end of her slow (or so it seemed in the eyes of a newly teenaged girl) maturing, she is certainly going to be the best that anyone's ever seen, according to her wild ambitions. She would one day land upon the It suits her, like singing, or painting suits her pair of brothers.

Anyone who knows the teenaged Cirilla of the present-day - and even people who don't - knows that she has always had an unnecessary flair for the dramatic that spills out of every inch of her skin, seethes out of her throat and into a black cloud of energy. Ciri is a girl like a black hole who absorbs all the light around her and spits out poison instead.

She wants that. She likes it. Ciri thrives off praise, love, and acceptance among her peer group, and does not take negative criticism lightly (internalising and converting into insecurity, every bad thing that has ever been spoken about the young girl). Cirilla also likes to hold people at arm's length and then pull them close when she feels like they're getting too far away from her. She wants people to like her, needs people to like her, and she clutches just the right amount of charm in her tiny hands to hook people in and drag them closer to her.

It is how she gets away with falling into step with someone she's never talked to before as if they've been friends for years, or the way the words sorry or thank you have never willingly left her lips but she glosses past all of those things as though she has some otherworldly right to. Maybe sometimes she'll reluctantly apologise to someone because she has to. Ciri cannot lose people, and she cannot distance herself from people altogether either - she requires (and thrives on) acceptance like her heart requires blood. There is a grand, overwhelming part of her that wants to become all of these characters and act cheerful and friendly with people, and be like that, and play into them so intrinsically that they have to like her, and part of her (inherently more stubborn) that wants people to like her because she says they have to.

Ciri doesn't like it when people don't like her. In fact, it makes any small ounce of confidence that might have arisen amongst her all-consuming insecurity in her mimicry of the more popular and well-liked fellow students, shrivel up beside her fears and self-consciousness - because she didn't say that they couldn't like her. And because damn it, she
tries so hard.

Cirilla Delacour is the kind of girl who has a list of things she wants to achieve in the next five years, and by the stubborn insistence of her wild ambition, she's going to go through them all and tick off every last one of them, no matter what. Even if she screams until her throat is raw, even if she loses parts of herself to it all. Ciri takes herself very seriously, as a matter of fact. Now, if only she had the confidence to back it all up.
   

   





               

HISTORY
..................Hey! My eyes aren't 'glistening with the ghosts of my past'!
   

   


   Early Years and Hogwarts History: The first things Ciri remembers is her brother singing, the smell of paint, the way she was screaming at the pair of boys one sunny afternoon when the light came in rectangles through the window. Ciri remembers the first day she started school and how she stood in the door of the classroom looking around at all of the other children and decided that she would be loved by all of them. She made a lot of friends as a child and made it her mission to persuade anyone who didn't want to like her.

Ciri remembers the taste of red wine, heavy in her mouth, just like she remembers ducking under the table during dinner and trying not to get caught on the coffee, crayon, and dirt spotted tablecloth, which had, in some unimaginable past, been a new, pristine white color (this was not due to a lack of capacity for cleaning on Gabrielle's part, but was, rather, in spite of her best efforts to keep the cloth clean in the midst of paint stained, muddy, sugar-sticky children's digits. She remembers when the table wasn't being used for anything, and they would huddle underneath it and Ciri would share what she stole, from the kitchen, from their mother's jewellery box, from the garden.

Ciri remembers her first stage, standing in the center of it and staring out at the lights and the shadows of the audiences. It was her first concert, and her last concert in France, because not long after that, they moved to England. Or more accurately: not long after that, her father, whom she had never met, died. Something Ciri only knew from a memory that stuck out, and pricked her mind like the spike of one of her mother's missing sewing needles, hidden in the sofa's cushions ; the way that her mother had collapsed along the wall (where she had, for as long as Ciri could remember, documented every inch of the children's ever-changing heights) in a crumpled, broken heap on that very same kitchen floor, the rebellious spiral cord of the phone that had delivered this news knocking repeated, and violently against the wall as it fell, and mother sobbed like she herself was dying. She was seven at the time, and it felt like the end of the world, and everyone acted like it was too, despite her never having ever known him.

Ciri remembers seeing her mother cry. Ciri remembers crying too, and screaming at the funeral at the unfairness of it all; of the bitter sting of knowing that she would never have a movie-worthy, touching reunion with the man when she inevitably reached her twenties and began her journey in "soul searching". What Ciri doesn't remember is when everyone stopped feeling like it was the end of the world.

Ciri just remembers leaving France and their village, and their school, and everything else that she knew behind. She can remember the first glimpse of England, the green, the rolling fields that stretched for miles in the countryside, spreading out around hills, the way everyone around her sounded so funny and different. She remembers the house they lived in, with their grandparents, and how she explored every dust filled inch of it with her "remaining brother", because the eldest wasn't there anymore.

Ciri remembers when their eldest brother left for school and she screamed and cried more because she didn't want her brother to go, but she couldn't change anything, and she felt completely powerless until she just had to get used to it just being the three of them, and clinging to her eldest brother whenever he came back for the holidays. What Ciri also remembers is how the next year, her next brother went off to school with him, and left her there all by herself. Ciri screamed more, and cried more, but nothing brought her siblings back.

Her mother, much too soon, left too - this, she remembered, more than anything. When her Grandparents' house changed its shape, from small and warm to big and sad and empty. When Mother taught her how to make spaghetti and to use the microwave and read her favorite bedtime story and the tearful "please stop crying, Ciri. I can't stay. You know this. I have to go to work". On particularly long days alone, Ciri feared that she too had gone off and died.

It was another three years before Ciri got a Hogwarts letter of her own.

So Ciri remembers Hogwarts as a first year, and the three grade levels that followed. She remembers sleeping on her brothers on her first train journey (and every train ride that followed) and being sorted -
"I don't like you, so you should put me where I want. I'm not like either of my brothers, and I will be insulted if you put me in their houses" and sitting in a new dust filled world that she could explore with both siblings. Whether or not she's decided she likes it is a different matter entirely.

She remembers her every subject, her first Quidditch match as a Third Year Slytherin, and a couple of Holidays at Hogwarts with both of her brothers in between. She remembers shopping for supplies in Diagon Alley with her second-born brother, after the eldest had graduated, and getting on the train for another year; a somber feeling settling over both of them, together, as they mourned the absence of their elder sibling.

Finally, Ciri had decided whether or not she liked it - and she hoped that there was a life a head of her that would be better than this. Little did she know, that this would be her most adventure-filled year yet. And that she
just may have made up her mind a little too swiftly after all.

   





               

Out of Character
I'm Harry's half-sister, Dumbledore's daughter, Voldemort's niece, Sirius' cousin, Snape's daughter and Lupin's great grandmother...
   

   


   What should we call you: Nona

   RP Experience: 5+ Years

   How you found us: as per a friend's recommendation

   Main Character (we'll PM you on this account): Senona Brânduşa
   

   




Last edited by Cirilla Delacour on Sat Oct 08, 2016 7:04 am; edited 5 times in total
avatar
Fifth Year Slytherin
Fifth Year Slytherin
View user profile

Re: DELACOUR, Cirilla Fleur

on Thu Oct 06, 2016 6:40 am
All finished Smile (I decided to refer to her siblings in a rather vague manner - I only referred to two brothers, without names or ages - so not to conflict with any other Delacour siblings that might be created in the future by other members, etc This is also why I chose not to mention the siblings, or anyone other than my character here being the child of the absent father who passed - so that, if the other canons available in the Delacour family choose to create Gabrielle or the other siblings that they wouldn't be bound to the concept that their father passed; they could choose to say that the other siblings were born to a different father than Cirilla, since I never mentioned her late biological father's name, etc)
avatar
Slytherin Graduate
Slytherin Graduate
Selwyn Thorfinn
23 : Alumnus
NoneDeputy Headmaster
HalfbloodPart Veela
profileplotter
shippertracker
Sel

View user profilehttps://www.etsy.com/au/shop/NovelLane

Re: DELACOUR, Cirilla Fleur

on Thu Oct 06, 2016 10:11 am
Just a few things.

1.  Tainted isn't a term that's often used IC.  It was promoted by an unpopular regime that was only in power for a year or two.  It's also more often used to refer to werewolves and vampires.

2.  there's a couple of times where you've referred to her as Sera.  I assume this is because it's an app modified from another game.  You'll probably want to go through and fix those up.

3.  Just be careful with your description of her appearance.  Try reading through again and making sure things like her beauty and grace are phrased as opinion rather than fact.  For example "a stunning sight of elegance to the beholder" needs to be rephrased.

I know it's difficult when you're writing a part-veela because part of their ability is perception based, but not all characters will be affected by that power the same way.

If you want some examples of how other part veelas on the site have written their appearance sections, Selwyn, Christian and Solstice are the three most active part-veela we have at the moment.

Also, she'd be 1/8 veela.

4. I'm a little bit concerned about the part with the dead bird. Unless there's some reason to include this, you should allude to it rather than describing it in detail.

5.  Not every pureblood is rich.  Not every Slytherin is rich.  Most of the Slytherins at the moment are middle or upper middle class.  And Albus Potter at least was a Slytherin.

6. I also think I should mention that Selwyn would chastise a student who deliberately used her abilities to distract her peers.  And Cirilla might not be able to control who her powers attract.  If there are LGBT girls at Hogwarts, it's completely possible she'll be attracting them as well as the boys.

Re: DELACOUR, Cirilla Fleur

on Thu Oct 06, 2016 11:16 am
1. My mistake. This term was used to refer to her blood status in the canons list here on Potter's Army so I included it for the sake of being exact, and so not to contradict what the site has listed as canon - a mistake I have made before. I will edit this to halfblood if you feel that this should not be so.


2. Actually, I've been trying out a new grammar checking application that seems to have taken to correcting the made up name "Ciri" as "Sera" lol - I will go through and edit those. Thank you for pointing that out to me. I thought I caught all of the inaccurate "corrections". Needless to say, I am through with this particular grammar extension lol

3. I shall re-phrase this. This was strictly (and is my only reference to her veela characteristics) written this way due to my intentions of conveying clearly that this, her hair, is the only trait of her physical appearance that is affected by her, as you stated, uncontrolled Veela ability, due to her being a very small part veela. In other words, I wanted to emphasis the fact that her hair is, due to her only being part veela, the only trait that retained that ability to allure.  Rather than her entire appearance having this ability, for example. Just further elaborating.

4. I have alluded to the bird incident.This was  intentionally vague for this very reason; so not to be grotesque. As, the reason for including this is that it is a very important detail of her history; this was the very first sign that this particular character is not the person that her mother saw; that inside, from no other perspective than her own (something which only she herself saw) she had a streak of anger that was, in this one instance in her life, aggressive, or morbid. I feel it is important to her personality, as it shows that she herself doesn't see what she did in this instance as wrong, or morbid. She sees it as "How birds work".

-and found out what birds were made of. She still has the box of bones and feathers in the bottom of her trunk, like what birds are made of is a good luck charm.

5. I never stated that every pureblood or slytherin is rich. I state that the slytherins that she associates with are. Which are npcs for the sake of her history, much like her siblings. I believe I used the words "many", but never "every", nor did I imply this generalization. Additionally, the following section, which I believe you may be referring to when you state that not every slytherin is pureblood, I would like to reiterate that this is what she, in character believes, which is why I worded it so. The italicized being her personal opinion / perspective on the matter.

in spite of the obvious nature of her ancestry; The infamous Beauxbatons Veela women & the Blood-Traitor Weasleys - what an excellent place to begin in Slytherin - what were her family trying to do, turn her into a social outcast, after all.

6. If you read that section again, I believe you may have misunderstood. I wrote, intentionally, that there were only two such instances of her "controlling" or manipulating others with her abilities, and I mentioned that these were mistakes that had scared her greatly. Any other mention of her wanting others to like her "because she told them to", for example, are strictly a child wanting to get her way and have nothing whatsoever to do with her being part veela.

which Cirilla has found, in her few experiences of this powerful sway, greatly intimidates her in her youthful innocence.

In regards to the subject of LGBT girls being attracted to her as a veela, this was why I stated that she attracted "male students" as well as "any other audiences". I myself am genderfluid and know that not all LGBT women like to be referred to as such, thus, sort of like they pronouns instead of he or she pronouns, I chose to use the term "other audiences" to specify without fitting these LGBT individuals in to a box, or assuming that they would associate as "her" or "female" just because they're sex is female, for example.

enchanting Cirilla's male peers, or other audiences

Let me know if I missed anything! Thank you dear!
avatar
Slytherin Graduate
Slytherin Graduate
Selwyn Thorfinn
23 : Alumnus
NoneDeputy Headmaster
HalfbloodPart Veela
profileplotter
shippertracker
Sel

View user profilehttps://www.etsy.com/au/shop/NovelLane

Re: DELACOUR, Cirilla Fleur

on Thu Oct 06, 2016 8:38 pm
I'm sorry if it wasn't made clear to you earlier, but when we comment on an application we are not making suggestions, we're telling you what you need to do for the character to be accepted.

You can still write that her hair is the only part of her that maintains its allure (although I personally think of the allure as something completely separate to appearance).  Just say it like that.  There's not need to hide the idea in pretty prose.

Take out the part about the bird.  I have a character who has a history of animal cruelty and her history says "she tested boundaries".  That is an allusion.  What you have written is non-graphic detail.

It comes across in the application that you as a player think that everyone in Slytherin is rich and/or pureblood.  Unless you intend for Cirilla to have a group of NPC friends, I don't see why you'd invent a history for her along with a host of neuroses stemming from hanging around people who won't exist when you get her into play.

That last part has nothing to do with misunderstanding.  I just thought you might like some useful information.  Some people like getting their characters into trouble.  I've also been playing Selwyn since he was in third year and he's attracted all sorts of people, both intentionally and not.

Re: DELACOUR, Cirilla Fleur

on Fri Oct 07, 2016 1:04 am
Well, in my previous application, the "not exceptions" that were made were all misinterpretation on the admin team's behalf. Every last one resolved by a closer reading of the application I had written.

I agreed to make any changes that you required that was based on what I actually wrote. My discussing these changes or points, which, I believe, is entirely reasonable, seeing as I will be required to change my original works, has for example, resolved  a few of your original points.

You yourself offered me this: that "unless there's some reason to include this" I should remove the portion about the bird in her history, a reason which I just elaborated. It is important to her character. I can edit the original passage, but to ask me to entirely remove it, when you yourself have defined the passage as "nongraphic detail", which does not in any way contradict the forum's "parental" rating, is certainly worth a conversation. I did exactly what you had asked me to do in elaborating on the reason for the passage (in order to keep the passage). What you have reffered to, a little aggressively, I might add as "non-graphic detail" is Indirect Characterization, a more subtle way of saying "she was bad" (a mark of poor character creation). And your telling me to "just say it like that. There is no need to hide the idea in pretty prose" (Is that not exactly what poetic or creative writing is? Because to me and to many others, it is.) is to tell me to change the way that I write.

"Inventing a a history for her along with a host of neuroses stemming from hanging around people who won't exist when you get her into play" is exactly what character creation is, and is what was asked of me by this application, just as writing about her past with her presently npc, or "people who won't exist when you get her in to play" siblings , family and every single person encountered in her history.

I may be counted among those who "like to get their characters into trouble", as it is conflict that drives a plot. But I simply wanted to explain that to get into trouble by means of manipulating or controlling her vela ability would directly contrast what I wrote in her personality section, as she fears this ability and would do anything not to experience this again, unless of course by extreme accident.
avatar
Slytherin Graduate
Slytherin Graduate
Selwyn Thorfinn
23 : Alumnus
NoneDeputy Headmaster
HalfbloodPart Veela
profileplotter
shippertracker
Sel

View user profilehttps://www.etsy.com/au/shop/NovelLane

Re: DELACOUR, Cirilla Fleur

on Fri Oct 07, 2016 1:45 am
This isn't your previous application.  

No, that's not how it works.  By joining this site, you agree to make any changes required in order for your character to be accepted.  We, the admins, decide whether your character is accepted.  If you don't want to make those changes, you are totally welcome to find another site to play on.

Right now, you are exhibiting a lot of behaviours that are setting off red flags for me.  Things like arguing, rules lawyering, passive-aggression, condescension, acting like you can run the site better than the actual admins... those things just add up to the sorts of problems that have gotten previous members into trouble - some of which went so far as to get banned.

Basically, you need to consider how your responses may seem by those trying to make your character fit in on the site. If they don't fit our rules - such as the mental illness thing we had to explain was completely unacceptable - we cannot sort a character, and will not do so until the app has been changed. If we see pieces of the character that ignore those changes or that bring in disallowed traits while you're writing a post IC, we won't hesitate to remove permissions and address it with you over PM.

Re: DELACOUR, Cirilla Fleur

on Fri Oct 07, 2016 2:06 am
I have only politely discuss my character with you, as can be seen in this thread. This threatening message was sent to me in private labeled "Advice", and personally, I feel that boundaries have been clearly overstepped, especially since I have only respectfully discussed my character with you for no other reason than to better understand the changes that you wished me to make, as well as elaborating on the original intentions of my works so to be sure that my words had not been misconstrued in any way.

This was not an appropriate response to a member just trying talk about her character. I was in no way attempting to debate your decisions as an admin, but, as I said before, just discuss my character with an individual who's position assists in the creation of characters. This message crossed boundaries with its aggressive and threatening content in my response to sharing my LGBT status among other discussion, motivated only by my desire to create my character well, as well as sharing a subject very personal to me (my being an LGBT individual) to try to let you better get to know me as a member and a human being 😢 I am truly frightened by these very aggressive and personally aimed threats.

avatar
Gryffindor Graduate
Gryffindor Graduate
Khaat Lupin
40 : Alumnus
NoneDirector
St Mungo's
HalfbloodHuman
profileplotter
shippertracker
Khaat

View user profile

Re: DELACOUR, Cirilla Fleur

on Fri Oct 07, 2016 2:39 am
Okay, I'm going to insert myself here just because I can. Let me see if I can help here somehow.

First, at this point, I'm reading Cirilla as a very intense sort of character. That's fine. All well and good. That's not an issue for me.

The bird thing? I'm not sure why its there, and what trait you're attempting to illustrate with this memory. I can see several different interpretations of it, but my disconnect with it is that it seems to be a rather fragmented piece. It seems to have significance but if i had a few more words that said clearly what Cirilla's view of the bird's importance, that would help me. If you choose to leave it as a fragment because its what you intended, then I need to understand that. I don't mean to sound ignorant, but on the other hand, I don't want to read into your writing. Thank you for not being any more graphic than you were. I appreciate that.

I think it might help if I perhaps clarified why PA has the prohibition on mental health issues that it does. To read you in a bit on site history, we used to allow it, but in all honesty, it wasn't always done well, and it was not only offensive but also painful and damaging to members who had RL mental health issues.

PA is supposed to be a place where members can come with some expectation of being able to have fun once their characters are approved. However, we absolutely will not intentionally show favoritism and give one player the permission to have a mentally ill character while we prohibit someone else. That's not fair, and its disrespectful to everyone on the board.

We made the choice to eliminate mental health issues, other than, perhaps, short term adjustment disorder sorts of things that have resulted from some negative element in a character's life. More severe things don't fit within a format that we feel we can offer safely and respectfully to all members here.

That's where the policy comes from. I don't know if that helps you understand how we got to where we are with that issue. Cirilla clearly has some unresolved damage, and I don't mind some element of that, but in order to comply with our long standing rule of no mental health issues, her symptomology does need to be dialed down.

She has the makings of a rich, interesting character that you surely can bring a lot of other things to light about her other than those symptoms. Someone with a mental illness isn't just their illness. They're a person, first and foremost, and the illness should not be what predominantly defines who they are as a person. I really want to see her, not so much of her symptoms. I don't know if that helps.

There is a lot about her that I already like, but I really want to see more of those things. Does that help at all or does it confuse it more?

_________________

Re: DELACOUR, Cirilla Fleur

on Sat Oct 08, 2016 6:14 am
Thank you very much. This helps greatly in my understanding of the edits that I will need to make in order to make this character better. You have no idea how much I appreciate your help in better forming my character, as well as your kind words and encouragement to keep working at making her the best that she can be. This meant the world to me. I am a little rusty in regards to character creation, as I have just returned from a seven year hiatus from roleplaying, and have only just returned in order to roleplay with my dear cousin, who is like a sister to me, was just recently diagnosed with cancer and has asked me to rp with her. I want to roleplay with her, together (something which I know brings her great joy and peace - but something which also was never really a forte of mine; she has always been the more talented at roleplaying and writing in general) for what as long as we can together, since it is her passion. So, it means so very much to me for you to be so kind, encouraging and patient with me.

It was never my intention to make Cirilla here seem as though she was suffering from mental illness. I suppose it may have come off this way, but my only intention was to convey that the young girl is too impressionable, and that "hanging with the wrong crowd", so to speak, was what was turning her a little bit bad in terms of character alignment. I suppose it may have come off this way, now that you have proposed this perspective to me, and I want to apologize if it ever appeared this way. It truly wasn't my intention for the bird thing to seem like I was trying to get away with RPing about the very sensitive and triggering topic of mental illness. That rule, I can understand. And is actually something which I appreciate greatly, as I do not feel I personally would be able to read or write about such a serious subject, or something that many individuals suffer greatly with.

It was more of my intention to convey with the passage about the bird that she was so innocent that she had seen it as "learning about how birds work", more like dissecting a frog in elementary school than the way that it came off, which was more along the lines of animal harm or mental illness. This was my fault for poor wording.

I will remove the passage if that is what you believe will be best, Khaat. Thank you for further explaining this to me. I think the mental illness issue may have been where I was confused, as the thought had never even occurred to me to be completely honest. And that is my fault, for not having seen that it could be interpreted that way; I was truly just looking at it the same way one would see the subject of an elementary school student or class being taught biology with the class assignment of dissecting a frog, so to speak.

I in no way want to get in the way of making my cousin happy in the way that I believe that roleplaying with her on her favourite forum will bring her. So if that is an issue that you may forsee, I will change absolutely anything in this application so long as we can proceed and go on to RP together <3

Thank you again, Khaat. I cannot express how much your help in better forming this character and patient with my inexperience has meant to me.
Sponsored content

Re: DELACOUR, Cirilla Fleur

View previous topicBack to topView next topic
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum