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Welcome to Potter’s Army

Welcome to Potter's Army

We have been a Harry Potter Roleplaying site since 2007. If you're an old member we hope you come check out the discord link provided below. And if you're looking for a new roleplaying site, well, we're a little inactive. But every once and a while nostalgia sets in and a few of our alumni members will revisit the old stomping grounds and post together. Remember to stay safe out there. And please feel free to drop a line whenever!

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Since every few months or so a few of our old members get the inspiration to revisit their old stomping grounds we have decided to keep PA open as a place to revisit old threads and start new ones devoid of any serious overarching plot or setting. Take this time to start any of those really weird threads you never got to make with old friends and make them now! Just remember to come say hello in the chatbox below or in the discord. Links have been provided in the "Comings and Goings" forum as well as the welcome widget above.

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Post by Christian Zabini Fri Sep 16, 2016 6:14 pm

Ace,

Go ahead and come upstairs when you get here today. It's a bit of a mess in the flat but we've got someone covering the shop so just yell at them if you have to to get by. They're new so they're probably not interested in getting in trouble. Don't worry about knocking - I probably won't hear you.



Upstairs, Apollo was packing and Christian was in the living room trying to work out the new schedule for the employees now that the elder brother was leaving. Apollo wanted better access to St. Mungo's and thus had selected a one-bedroom flat with surprisingly cheap rent. Today was moving day, and Christian didn't actually know how he felt about it. What was perhaps stranger, though, was that Lily was back despite her and Apollo's apparent falling out.

He chalked it up to Apollo wanting an easier time of traveling since they had yet to graduate or lose the Trace. They must have, he concluded, mended that bridge so they could put all of his things into a smaller bag and have Lily side-along Apollo over there. Which begged the question, what in Merlin's name were they doing in there? Apollo was useless without magic, yet he heard them moving things around and talking about whatever those muffled sounds equated to. As tempted as he was to check, he already felt like he was on thin ice, like he was losing his brother without explanation. What would happen when they finally went back to Hogwarts? What would change between them in the weeks apart? They had never lived in separate places before unless one counted dormitory housing at school. Which Christian didn't, given they had always had their own rooms at home, too.

But whatever this was, it felt wrong. It felt like part of him was being taken away and despite their fighting he didn't want that to happen.

In the next room, behind the closed door, Apollo was transferring things into boxes and bags. By hand, of course, given the restriction on his magic outside of school. But moving them into containers would make it easier for Lily when he told her he needed help to shrink them. He had the bag but not the means. And how strange it felt to be needing her help for something so benign. It wasn't like how he needed her on full moons or just because he needed her to feel right with the world. It was vastly less charged but it still seemed quite weak of him. But she wasn't something he could help - though he probably could've asked Christian about that if he thought to. If he had been told of the younger brother's plans.

He settled his desk items into one box, then crossed back again, his hand not-quite-unconsciously brushed across the small of her back. "Do you think he's angry?" He asked finally, glancing back at her once he had passed to collect a few more things. "I can't tell. I think that's the worst part, not knowing. And," he mused as he turned back towards her, arms laden as he leaned against the desk, "I haven't told him about us. It felt... Weird. Like we haven't even settled into it yet, so why should he know? But he ought to. ... It'll be worse if he doesn't and then something happens or someone else tells him. He'll feel betrayed by the both of us."

Apollo shook his head slightly, moving to drop those items he'd collected in with the others. "I don't think it's a good idea to make a big ordeal of it, though. Maybe we should just let him figure it out himself."
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Post by Ace A Longbottom Fri Sep 16, 2016 9:50 pm

Lily moved quietly through Apollo's room, his clothes magically folding themselves at her command, dust quietly siphoning itself off of the surfaces while she packed the more breakable items. For someone who so often considered herself an unhelpful burden, it felt refreshing to be helpful in such a practical manner. She was not here to make promises of righting wrongs, not here to nurse a broken heart - he just needed some help organizing his stuff and cramming it all into his bag. It was a simple need she could fulfil, and the look of relative peace on her face reflected that.

The implications of his move, however, was not something she felt so at ease with. She felt the discord between the two brothers, felt the ties between them unravelling, and she knew it wasn't her place to attempt to grab at the ends. She had resolved to remove her own interest in preserving the brotherly relationship and just be there for each of them in the ways she could, but it wasn't so easy when she knew the pain of feeling like a stranger to a sibling.

She moved across the room to grab the books resting beneath the window, and she took in a quick view of the street. It had not been so long ago that she had been looking up at this window through the street, wracked with guilt and hesitation, the only certainty lying in the knowledge that she was certainly an outsider to the Zabinis.

At least there had been one resolution.

She felt Apollo's hand on her back and she turned her attention back to the books, tilting them into the box she was working on, glancing towards him. Despite his preoccupation with his work, she could see his expression falling into a state of worry, and she finally folded the flaps of the box she had finished.

She moved towards the bed and began stripping it, fingertips gliding across the warm fabric. "He didn't seem mad," she said, setting the pillows aside as she folded up the pillowcases, before beginning to fold up the comforter. "Confused, maybe."

To be fair, she had not told anyone either. She wasn't at all concerned about that. Of course, she had no one to tell, but even if she had, she liked the idea of actually being able to enjoy this all to herself for now, free of judgment or opinions. But there was apart of her, and probably in him too, that knew Christian had a right to know. That it was going to be an ordeal regardless.

"Maybe just.. make sure he's the first to know?" she offered, putting aside the comforter as she began to tug at the sheets. "And not go out of our way to hide it? We have time." She kept her eyes on him, waiting for him to glance at her so she could offer that soft smile she reserved for him and him alone.

Ace Longbottom wasn't sure why the Prophet had not published her "TOLD YOU SO" letter to the editor yet. Of course she hadn't actually sent in such a letter... Christian had told her not to. But the smugness had been marred quite a bit when the students were not immediately recovered. She felt robbed of the rare opportunity to be right, but she also felt worry more than anything. She hated being stuck here, unable to help.

She had taken Oliver and Jack's advice to keep doing what they were doing to heart. She had been trying to track down the few students who had escaped the train debacle, as well as the incoming first years. She had been given the Marauder's Map and had already memorized three floors of the map.

And everyone being off trying to save the students meant eyes were off her.

She had received the note right as she headed out, and called out to her parents as she flagged down the Knight Bus. The conductor was quite used to her at this point and she settled in comfortably, feet curled up on the seat and enjoying the crazy ride.

It didn't take long for her to reach the familiar shop and muscle her way out of the new employee's way, making her attempt to get into the apartment a bit more obvious than necessary to welcome in the confrontation.

She burst into the living room, immediately slinging her little knapsack off of her back and dropping it on the ground in front of her favorite chair, immediately rifling through it to pull out the map. "Bus ride was boring. New guy is spunky though. Not spunky enough, obviously, 'cause I got by him. If I were a Death Eater-" she whistled a low whistle, shaking her head as she managed to pull out an extra pair of socks, quill, granola bar, everything but the map. "Mother of Merlin, where the hell- ah." She pulled it out and set it on the coffee table, before the strange sounds of whooshing and moving furniture hit her ears. She looked up, squinting at Apollo's room. "What's going on in there?"
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Post by Apollo Zabini Sat Sep 17, 2016 1:46 am

Strangely, Apollo trusted Lily's take on Christian's mood more than he trusted his own gut instinct about it. He didn't believe that he wouldn't read into the nonverbal cues that he picked up, didn't think that he would conclude correctly one way or another. So when she said his brother seemed lost as to the whole situation, he took it as the probable truth.

"I don't want to hide it," he told her before looking over, his expression relaxing - particularly around his eyes - when he caught sight of that smile. His forehead ceased its creasing then and he stopped what he was doing to cross the room and draw her fingers away from the fabric and into his own. "It's near impossible to hide the way I feel about you, and now that I've got no reason to besides Christian, I'm not sure I even could."

He gave her hands a little squeeze but turned his gaze towards the sheets, tired of the packing already. "I think we've earned a break," he declared, pushing a bag out of the way with his foot and ignoring the scratching sound the fabric made across the floor.

Christian, on the other side of that wall, looked up when Ace burst in, chatting away as she tended to. Somehow it worked, though, considering he wasn't particularly talkative. She could fill the silence for him, which was easy enough, and, surprisingly, didn't bother him.

"He's moving out," Christian said cooly, glancing at the door but shifting his attention back to his pages afterwards. "Didn't tell me until he'd found the place and signed for it, but there you go."

The quill hit the page a bit too hard as he made a note, piercing the page with a little snap. Christian frowned but left it, unable to do anything about it. Just as he turned to ask Ace what the plan was, pushing away the pages in favor of something more pleasant, Apollo's door opened. Christian looked up, frowning slightly as Apollo and Lily came into the common room of their flat.

Apollo's eyebrows lifted upon catching sight of Ace, but he just lifted his hand and nodded, rolling his lips together even as his cheeks pulled into an almost-smile. It was a bit too awkward to qualify as one, however, so he didn't try and pretend otherwise.

"You two want anything to drink while you... do whatever you're doing?" Apollo asked, gesturing towards the kitchen.
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Post by Lily Luna Potter 1st gen Sat Sep 17, 2016 3:20 am

Lily would never presume to think she had any special hold over Apollo, simply because she still did not think she had any right to. That said, she did a take a little pride in her ability to banish away the stormy looks and relax Apollo's expression into one of tranquility and happiness. So often, she saw him become steeped in worry and uncertainty, and she had somehow found the solution for taking away those feelings, even for a moment. If all she did was stuck around to inspire that subtle shift towards happiness, she would be pleased. That would be enough.

He approached and certainly did not need to do any coercing to get her fingers to tangle with his, and she looked at him with that warmth that was becoming more and more familiar every day.

She had no doubt that he wasn't trying to hide her. She had not questioned him on that front. After a lifetime of everyone knowing her name and trying to predict her next move, she could appreciate some discretion about this matter, especially considering how deeply she felt about it. Her acceptance was clear through the softness in her eyes, but a bit of mischief touched her features and she tightened her grip on his hands. "You couldn't keep me quiet if you tried," she said, tilting her head. "I howl."

Now that the Marauder Map was found, Ace had to stuff all of the excess items back in. Bags were dumb. She couldn't wait for when she could just accio-everything at any given time. Dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

This random irritation was evident on her face, but it went slack as she lifted her head in undisguised surprise at Christian's words. Socially inept as she was, his tone was enough to betray what she could already guess - he wasn't pleased. She didn't blame him. Had her brother sprung something on her of the same magnitude... well, she certainly would not have been as gracious, nor as quiet, about the subject.

"What?" she repeated, squinting as she jutted her head forward, almost offended on the Hufflepuff's behalf. Christian had turned back to his work, but she was still half-glaring, half-squinting, eyes resting on his hands in an unfocused manner. "But... school and... being underage... What's the point?"

That grumble-manifested-into-an-expression took over again, and just as she was about to perseverate on the subject, Christian lifted his head to speak. But their attention was forced towards the door as Apollo and Lily appeared there.

Apollo looked at Ace in a way that made Ace wonder if he knew just how dumb his choice to move out was. The slight exasperation in her expression was probably enough to jumpstart the guilt he should have been feeling - moving out at sixteen. not telling your twin, basically keeping secrets from yourself, dumb, dumb, dumb - so she did not make it any easier on him, mimicking his expression.

"Hey Ace," Lily said, keenly aware of the Longbottom girl's array of disapproving expressions. Ace looked towards Lily, and withdrew a bit. "Hey," she said back, looking dull. "No thanks," she said, trying to keep any actual audible tones of spite out of her words.

Lily didn't know what Ace was on about, as it could have been anything from Ilvermorny to her presence to something Frank said in passing. Ace usually managed to find something to get worked up about, and she found it was best to wait for the blonde to engage in confrontation before assuming anything - it wasn't like she would shy away from it if she felt it necessary. Lily glanced towards Christian, asking him instead, "Christian?"

#ReadApollily


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Post by Apollo Zabini Sat Sep 17, 2016 4:59 am

Apollo was quite aware of Ace's looks and opinions of him, and immediately concluded that Christian had given some sort of explanation. Brilliant. He didn't alter his bland expression, though, instead moving into the kitchen and reaching up to open a cabinet and pull down two glasses to start.

Christian gave a shrug which Apollo knew was meant to be a Yes, so he nodded to himself and went ahead making his brother's drink first. Perhaps that would cool him off. Pun intended. Either way, he turned away from the others and opened the freezer. Given how much Lily would be doing later, he fully intended to do most of the work himself, even when it came to something simple like pouring up drinks.

So, even though he walked slowly enough to encourage her to follow him - unconsciously or otherwise, he went about scooping ice and peering into the fridge for options on his own. Christian was given a Muggle fizzy drink, while Apollo himself just wanted water.

But he moved back to the table to put Christian's down first, not bothering to ask Ace to move before reaching over the map and setting it down. If she was going to judge him, he was at least going to bother her right back.

When he walked back into the kitchen, he didn't fully register that Christian was watching him rather than focusing on his work or whatever Ace wanted. Perhaps that was why, when he took out another glass for himself, he stepped up alongside Lily, reaching around her waist and leaning towards her to ask what she wanted.

Christian's eyes narrowed as he watched them, his eyebrows pulling together slowly. Once Lily answered, Apollo turned back to the counter to prepare it, only to stare right back at his brother. Christian, quite clearly thinking that Lily had lied or hidden the fact from him, looked like he so badly wanted to comment. Instead, he shook his head and scoffed quietly, turning to the map and trying to remember what the plan for the day was.

Focusing, though, was impossible when he could hear Apollo offering Lily her drink, could detect the warm smile behind his brother's tone. He couldn't resist. Looking up again, he could only see the back of Apollo's head, but he watched Lily's face intently as his brother lifted his glass to click it against hers, waiting for a sign that he was assuming correctly.
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Post by Ace A Longbottom Sat Sep 17, 2016 6:11 am

Ace recognized that she was in territory where she didn't belong - just kidding, she certainly wasn't that self aware. As far as she was concerned, Christian was a coworker, and Apollo was currently compromising his ability to work to his full potential. Sure, they had something going between them, but she and Christian were doing work that could fundamentally change society as they knew it and Apollo thought he could just move out and get Christian all wrapped up in that? No. No, no. Everyone was making sacrifices here. So he could just tone down the drama, thanks.

And she didn't know what Lily was playing at. Sure, she knew about the whole scratchy-scratchy woof-woof dealio, but c'mon - how much longer were they going to milk that? If they really believed that such a thing could be made up for, were odd favors like helping pack boxes any sort of consolation?

Christian's eyes were following the pair, so Ace cleared her throat, tapping on the map. "So I think we need to discuss exit strategies, in case anything happens."

Lily had padded serenely after Apollo. While he worked on Christian's drink, she peered into the tea cupboard to see if anything struck her fancy. She knew she would settle for water, but she could feel the weirdness from the other room and was trying to combat it with calm distractions.

Apollo approached again and her skin shivered beneath his touch as she turned to assure him water would be fine. She made herself look out the window instead of watching him, enjoying the street view again.

Ace was finding Christian was a bit distracted as she laid out her extensive contingency plans. She glanced towards the two dark-haired distractions, her frustration growing. This was a serious conversation, with serious consequences. They could get in severe trouble and being able to escape quickly was a must. Or if the Death Eaters ever stormed the castle-

And Christian was too busy watching the Apollo and Lily show. Which wasn't even that interesting, b-t-w.

Lily took the glass of water and met his gaze, which was private and warm and she could not help the rise in her eyebrows, the swell in her chest, the beginnings of a smile-

but she could feel it. She looked over his shoulder and met Christian's gaze, and quickly attempted to morph the smile into something casual, something she could give either brother. But he was staring, and he must have seen-

And Christian still wasn't listening to her and they others were clinking their glasses and Ace couldn't help but turn and call, her tone biting and her frustration bubbling over, "Do you need an audience, or could we get our work done?"
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Post by Christian Zabini Sat Sep 17, 2016 6:34 am

In truth, Christian understood what Ace was getting at. They had work to do, people to try and help save, and little means to do it. Hogwarts was their best bet, at least until someone there decided to wise up and add proper wards. He just hoped they gave what was left of the PA time to get some work done first, or at least some practice in.

But his clenched jaw, his too-curious gaze? It all relaxed into pure understanding but underlying disbelief. He'd caught her smile, Lily's. Seen the way Apollo leaned in and then backed away when she morphed her expression too late. Apollo was about to ask what was wrong, but it only took a moment for him to piece it together. For Ace to speak up.

Turning over his shoulder, Apollo glared at the pair of them. "Listen, lady badger," he started, the fingers of his spare hand rubbing together as they itched to reach for Lily in a particularly protective gesture. "I'll be out of your hair for good in mere hours. Surely you can ignore us for the two minutes we've been in the room. And if you're not interested in watching," he added, inclining his head pointedly towards Ace, "maybe just bloody don't. Or go find your own person, why don't you? Maybe you'd give Christian more than five minutes off if you did."

"Apollo, don't you dare-"

Christian didn't like the way his brother's expression had clouded over, but he disliked all the more what came next as Apollo rounded the end of the counter and came to stand over them at the table. His furious gaze settled on the male Hufflepuff, and for once Christian was actually afraid of his brother. "This is exactly why I'm getting the hell out of here."

The younger twin had to throw a hand out to keep Apollo's glass from toppling over when he sat it down far too heavily on the table. Some of the water sloshed out, narrowly missing the map, and he hastily brushed it away, scowling at Apollo as he pushed off again, this time towards his room. He left the door open behind him for Lily, even though slamming it would've felt really good.

Immediately, Apollo went back to packing and Christian turned to Ace as though nothing had happened, as though Apollo hadn't just confirmed what he'd suspected so rightly, his voice carrying into the next room and making the elder brother bristle all the more.

"Sure, that exit is well enough but it's two floors down. Isn't there something closer?"
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Post by Ace A Longbottom Sat Sep 17, 2016 6:56 am

Apollo Zabini had never really meant much to Ace. Even now, in her mental roster of people, the most important annotation she had for him was 'brother of Christian.' She didn't see where he could possibly fit into her big plans, and he certainly wasn't the sort to think highly of her. He had his friends and his lady-reputation and she was the Hufflepuff weirdo who was always prepared in case a You-Know-Who sort ever cropped up again. He wasn't like Christian who had a popularity based on extending himself towards others - which paid off now when they were looking to build numbers. The whole mysterious thing never scared her.

But now he did, just a little.

It had been awhile since anyone had spoken with such ferocity towards her. Arryn had been harsh with her, but even then she had sensed that he really did not want to follow through with his threats, and that somehow, she was safe because of Christian. Here, Christian made her even more vulnerable, because it was Christian that was at the root of this tug-of-war. There were no threats in his words, but his body language was aggressive, and his tone unfriendly. He was drawing the line, establishing that they were on opposite sides of it.

But, of course she held her gaze. Her scrunched up nose and her tightened lips, her nostrils flaring with indignation, her eyes trying not to widen at the realization that he had finally called her out. She whipped back around and bent over the map, jabbing her finger furiously at the alcove they had just been discussing when she felt Apollo's approach. She lifted her head, her eyes still narrowed, but she could not help the subtle lean away and the tension building in preparation.

Always ready for a battle.

But then he was gone. And Lily was left standing in the kitchen, left arm folded across her stomach, right elbow resting on it while her fingers curled over her top lip, no expression in particular. It was an expression that had given her away. After years of carefully cultivating her mask, one slip had ruined it all. She doubted any particular look was going to come out in public now, not for awhile.

Just when she thought she was getting normal.

Ace was refusing to look at her, and Lily knew better than to say anything to the Longbottom girl, who was already set on edge. She glanced towards Christian, fingers still blocking her mouth, and found she could give him nothing, no relief, no apology. It wasn't her place. It was a conversation for brothers. Apollo had drawn the line, placing Ace and Christian firmly on one side, and himself on the other. Until they erased that line, she had to play by those rules. And as much as she wanted to play double agent and jump back and forth, she knew which side she belonged on.

She dropped her arms and quietly fetched her drink as well as Apollo's and made her way across the room, slipping into Apollo's room and closing the door behind her.

Ace was bent over the map again, heart pounding. She hated that she had been unnerved, and was trying to make herself busy so Christian wouldn't notice. If he asked her if she was okay or attempted any sort of comfort or apology, she would probably lose it. She wouldn't be able to deal with a mutual admission of weakness.

She felt a rush of appreciation for the other Hufflepuff at his words and nodded her head. "Yes, true, but this room here has a portrait that feeds right out onto that floor."

Lily closed the door behind her with her foot, setting the glasses on the nearest surface. She stared at Apollo for a second, who wasn't looking at her, and then slowly crossed to the bed, turning and sitting on it. She would wait. Wait for him to gather his thoughts, wait for him to realize he didn't need to pretend in front of her, wait for him to allow himself to take comfort from her. Forget the boxes, that was the real reason she was here.
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Post by Apollo Zabini Sat Sep 17, 2016 5:35 pm

Ace was covering as well, and as much as Christian loved the idea of just pretending he hadn't been phased and that his own brother hadn't practically threatened the pair of them just moments ago, he still felt rattled. He felt affronted and betrayed in ways he had no right to, but there it was. The feeling lingered.

So although he nodded at her explanation, in agreement to her correction, he felt the furiously spreading desire to shake himself or hit a pillow or violently eat something just to feel better. After a minute, he cut her off. "I- Look, I just- ... Give me a minute."

Pushing back his chair, Christian moved into his own room, pacing and shaking himself. Apollo wouldn't do anything. It didn't matter that Lily had apparently chosen him without Christian so much as having an inkling. It didn't bother him, actually, that Apollo was judging him for spending so much time with Ace, and it definitely meant nothing that Apollo had suggested Ace go off and jump into a relationship with someone. Even if that was incredibly stupid and so unlike her that Christian could barely even believe it.

Apollo was stupid. Merlin. Ugh. Christian ran his hands over his face, trying not to make any audible sound of irritation and failing.

Across the flat, the elder brother certainly was not thinking along the same lines as the younger. He heard the door close and was grateful for it, but now wanted out of the flat as quickly as possible rather that before, where he'd tried to pretend that he didn't want to stay at least a little. Lily settled on the bed and although he kept dumping things haphazardly into boxes, it didn't last very long.

After maybe a minute at most, he dropped onto the floor in front of the bed, backing up so he could lean against her legs but still sort of stare off into space without feeling her watching his expression. He did glance to the side slightly, eyeing the mirror they had taken down ages ago. It had been left behind by the previous owner and he'd never moved it from that corner on the floor, but never really used it either. Not until now, when he caught a glimpse of Lily on his low-sitting bed, and him, stormy and irrational.

He knew he was the one who had flown off the handle, and that she had every right to call him out on it. He didn't expect that she would, though, and somehow that bothered him. It was too new, probably, to allow her that comfort she might have had before confirming their relationship. Or maybe she wasn't the type.

He didn't apologize, though he was tempted to. He wanted a segue. A legitimate opening to say what he needed to say without it being the sole focus of what was currently happening. So he took a potentially risky route instead, tearing his gaze away from the mirror and letting it fall on the half-full box in front of him. It would've been classed as half-empty only a few days ago, but look who was behind him, now. In more than just the directional sense.

"Tell me something I don't know about you," he requested quietly. "Something you're afraid I'll find out."
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Post by Lily Luna Potter 1st gen Sat Sep 17, 2016 6:32 pm

Ace had been too hopeful to think that such a charged, awkward moment could be forgotten so quickly and moved beyond. But that was exactly the deficit that kept her currently from being an effective leader. She could barely keep her own emotions properly tempered (though of course she saw herself as a being of logic over emotion) and yet she expected everyone else to prioritize what had to be done over the emotions they needed to first process. She had to assume Christian knew what he was doing in this. It was because of her own failure in this arena that she had recruited him, so she had to trust that he knew what he was doing.

But trust didn't change the fact that she was now awkwardly alone in their house, one Zabini off in his room probably strangling his pillows, and the other doing who knows what with Lily.

She would probably break down and check on Christian. But she had no idea what to say. She needed an excuse.

Her eyes fell on the schedule in front of her. Maybe if she figured this out for him, she could bring some good news. She bent over the table and began looking between the employee roster and the store schedule, picking up a quill.

When Apollo settled in front of her, Lily did not need a better invitation to lightly stroke back his hair, hoping to comfort by any means possible.

But not that.

His words hit her hard and her fingers froze where they were, her expression freezing a little at the idea of revealing something like that. He had no idea what he was asking for. And why was he asking for it now, when she was here to comfort him? It would only make him feel worse, or force the situation to become about her, and she wanted neither of those.

She felt his gaze and glanced towards the mirror, but he was already looking away. Being able to see his face convinced her, however, that she wasn't getting away that easy. She took a long breath, and her fingers came back to life, slowly moving across his hair.

"I've failed twice to take wolfsbane during a full moon," she said. "Typically, I've been able to either brew it or buy it or whatever. You know about one." Her hand found his shoulder and gave a little squeeze. "But the other one happened the first time I ran away. During my first seventh year. I left because.." Some sort of bitter laugh left her lips and she shook her head. "Wow, I really can't even remember at this point. I've run off so many times, the reasons just... blur."

Wow, Apollo had sure found himself a keeper.

She took in a steadying breath and continued. "Anyway. It was like... the second or third full moon of me just... running around on my own. I had no money. Had nowhere to go. So no potion. It was rough. Your first transformation without the potion... it hurts as it is, but I thought I'd never be able to walk again."

She wet her lips. "I moved in with my brother. Because I had nowhere else to go. And for forty-four days straight, I didn't leave my room." Her eyes were now on her hands, shame flickering beneath those withholding eyes. "Not even for a smoke, or a walk. For forty-four days, I ate from bed, fell asleep in the bath tub, and read an entire series of science fiction novels." She shook her head. "That was when I realized that my problems started in here." One of her fingers trailed upward, wavering between her heart and the pit of her stomach.

She looked up at the mirror, trying to catch his eye. "It's not easy to admit. That at one point I cared so little for myself and for the world that I basically became a ghost. I didn't think it'd ever end. That'd I'd ever earn the right to be happy, that I'd ever be strong enough to care about someone else, let alone myself." She blinked. "But I'm working on it."
Lily Luna Potter 1st gen
Lily Luna Potter 1st gen
Gryffindor Graduate
Gryffindor Graduate

Number of posts : 431
Occupation : Potions Professor

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