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Worrywarts

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Re: Worrywarts

Post by Maddie McKillon on Tue Sep 06, 2016 10:32 pm

[<3333]

Maddie watched Teddy intently for any signs of a reaction after her words, fearing for an awful second that she'd overstepped the mark, or that perhaps he hadn't wanted to hear her reassurances after all. It was still in her, the worry. No matter what she did, she'd always have a lingering uncertainty that she didn't measure up, that she'd misjudged, misspoken, misunderstood. It was something she'd never escape, but she'd learned to ignore it. She had to ignore it. So, there, facing Teddy, she chose to disregard the anxiety, heeding her own advice as she waited to see what he would do with it.

It didn't stop her from studying his face carefully as he removed his glasses, rubbing his face as if kneading life back into his tired features. He didn't say anything at first, but then the hint of a smile painted itself on his face, and it was like the faintest ray of sunshine after a cloudy day. And Maddie couldn't help but mirror it, her own face brightening exponentially. She let out a small sigh of relief that turned into a sheepish laugh.

"Oh, pff, you caught me at a good time."

Her tone was light, her expression pleased. The thought that she might have helped alleviate some of Teddy's insurmountable burdens filled her with a warm joy. The air around them seemed to have lightened, both having shaken off some measure of the weight they carried, now that Teddy seemed to be in slightly better spirits than she'd found him.

And she was glad she'd found him. She was grateful that Kathryn had kept the rumour mill churning on this one occasion, giving her the opportunity to be there for a friend. Not for the first time, she wondered why it seemed like no one else had been there for him, and it saddened her. He did deserve better- she'd meant it wholeheartedly. The Potter kids did not know what they were missing, in disregarding such a generous soul.

But then, wasn't that always the case? Sorrow and grief were curious things, with curiouser effects. How close one could come to losing the greatest gifts, in yearning for others long gone. She herself was guilty of it.

She shrugged these thoughts off. Now was not the time. It was enough just to push open the shades and let the barest signs of warmth in after so long. Even if in some corners the darkness lingered, and wouldn't always stay confined. She suspected Teddy wasn't yet completely reconciled with what had happened to the Potters and his role in it. She knew he would still worry, as she did even now, as neither would ever know how to stop. But she also hoped that he'd consider himself more, and she resolved then to ensure he did to the best of her ability, now that they were colleagues as well as friends.

"Don't mention it. It's the least I can do. I suspect if the Potters could, they'd be thanking you for everything you've done. And you deserve someone to do the same for you."

She accompanied the words with a smile that she hoped conveyed her empathy and earnestness, the hope that he'd let her take that role if it ever arose. The promise that next time, he wouldn't have to hide away when faced with the fear of his shortcomings, but face it, seeking help for himself when he'd bled himself dry for others. That next time, he had a friend in her, and didn't have to struggle alone.
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Re: Worrywarts

Post by Teddy R. Lupin on Mon Sep 19, 2016 4:24 pm

She was quick to assure him the trouble was small, and though his instinct was to reassure her otherwise, he knew they were similar enough to not have to perseverate on the subject. Some people were just born to be there for others. And as someone born from circumstances of sacrifice, it was in his blood. Maddie, he suspected, was one of those genuinely good people who had long ago decided that life was best lived trying to make the world a better place for good people. Either way, she knew just as well as he did how inescapable it was for either of them to offer comfort to people they had high regard for. It would be like apologizing for making her breathe.

He nodded against her further reassurances and let out a breath, trying to relieve all of that built up tension from such a reveal. He shook out his arms a bit and reached for his glass of water, indulging himself in an excuse to let that emotionally-charged moment slip from the present into the past. He had lost the ability to move on as of late, and even practice in letting these little moments go would prove helpful.

As he topped off his glass, he glanced at Maddie. "So, how are you then? Casper is going into his final year, and Charlie into his first, isn't he? Big year."

(sorry it's short! transitional post)
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Re: Worrywarts

Post by Maddie McKillon on Mon Sep 19, 2016 11:39 pm

As he drank his water, Maddie took the time to look around the room, noting the neat but sparse furnishings and decor. Perhaps as well as books she could send over a pygmy puff. A pet would help to fill the space and keep Teddy company. She didn't know how he felt about them, but she made up her mind to ask at some point, or perhaps send Kathryn- whose enthusiasm for the creatures was unrivaled. The thought made her smile.

Teddy's question widened the smile until it was a grin. Any mention of her children birthed a happy warmth within her, and having just seen them off, she was a little more inclined to sentimentality.

"Casper is... less excited about it than all of us, if you can believe that. He's already 17, so I think he sees seventh year as more of a formality than a monumental transition. Which is perhaps a tiny bit concerning, but... I'm trying not to worry."

She gave a small smile at the irony, accompanied by an uncharacteristically carefree shrug.
Though she'd be lying if she denied feeling a nervousness at what the future held for them and a trace of sorrow at the future arriving so quickly, she was above all excited to see her boys enter different stages in their lives, and it fed into her tone and the animation of her face.

"Yes, it is! Bigger for Charlie than most- that I do worry over. He's still so shy and small and nervous... but he's also excited, so we're all excited too. Kathryn's teasing doesn't help, of course, but what's new? I'm sure he'll be fine. I hope he will. I'm here, after all, and so are his siblings. And it looks very likely he'll join Cas in Ravenclaw, so that's a reassurance." She stopped herself there, knowing that if she let herself continue her feelings and concerns about her youngest could fill up hours worth of words. She directed a sheepish smile at Teddy instead.

"I'm afraid I have to apologise in advance, however. I've been trying to convince Kath to take Curative Magic this year to broaden her horizons. And- well, she can be a... challenging student. As you know, of course, but I think we've left most of the WADA fuss behind us. We're just taking this year as it comes. My middle child aside, though, how are you looking forward to teaching? I have to say if you're looking to be kept on your feet, you've come to the right place."

A twinkle accompanied her last sentence, along with an eyebrow raise indicating that despite thr truth of her statement, it was meant in good humor.
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Re: Worrywarts

Post by Teddy R. Lupin on Tue Sep 20, 2016 3:55 pm

This was something Teddy couldn't wait for.

Unlike so many of the Potter-Weasleys, all who displayed an untraditional attitude for independence and self-exploration, it had always been a big part of Teddy to eagerly await the day he was a husband and father. Perhaps it was the orphan in him, the desire to construct the type of childhood he had always desired. There was such a warmth in him when he considered helping a child take its first steps, nervously stumbling after them as they rode their first broom. It was as though all of the natural worry and uncertainty he felt would finally find purpose and could bring out some good.

Some people were just born to be parents. Teddy couldn't help but think himself in that number. Just as Maddie certainly was.

"There's somebody for everybody at Hogwarts, luckily," Teddy said. "I'm sure I have a cousin or two who could help him learn the ropes if he needs it - though I'm sure he'll find his way."

He laughed at Maddie's nervous admission, finding this news wholly welcome. He knew Kathryn well enough to know she wasn't going to make his life easy. But she was a smart kid, and he found that she had much of her mother's charm with an added twist of humor. "I'm looking forward to it." And he wasn't lying.

He grinned at her words regarding the position but heaved a shrug. "I don't know yet. I just... instinctively felt like this place might be the place for me, so I'm just hoping to do some good."
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Re: Worrywarts

Post by Maddie McKillon on Sun Sep 25, 2016 10:01 pm

Maddie nodded as Teddy spoke, narrowing her eyes thoughtfully as she tried to recall any family members of his that she'd taught. Weasleys, since the Potters had obviously passed through the halls of Hogwarts long before she'd returned to them. Only Lucy and Molly Weasley came to mind. Absently, she considered that despite Teddy's kind words of reassurance, they'd probably scare Charlie more than anything. She supposed it was all down to him and how well he took to Hogwarts and other students, since she wasn't planning on hovering over his shoulder and around every corner. She herself had come to Hogwarts a relative stranger, a freshly-minted witch, still seeing everything through muggle eyes. And it had been a flying success for her, so logic dictated it wouldn't be too bad for Charlie, who had siblings to share the experience and learn from, and was already somewhat familiar with the castle through his mother.

"I hope so," she said, her tone less hopeful and more assured.

Her mouth instinctively stretched into a grin again at Teddy's amusement. She hadn't expected him to be alarmed, aware that he was one of the few people who had been able to get through to her daughter when Maddie herself had been at her wit's end. And Kathryn had also demonstrated fondness for the former therapist, though in her usual roundabout, flippant way, which her mother was accustomed to enough to understand. So Maddie recognized the genuineness of his words and was happier for it. Her next words came out thoughtfully,

"I think Hogwarts could do with the Lupin magic touch! I'm sure you'll be a fantastic success with the students. And it's nice to actually see tangible results of your efforts. Not that that's the be all and end all of teaching, but... sometimes that fulfillment can be a weight lifted. You know?"

Of course he did. This was Teddy. He knew all about pouring effort into things even when they stubbornly refused to show any signs of your hard work. That's exactly what he'd been struggling with in the first place. But she didn't mean to mire them back in melancholy topics, so she offered a bright smile to indicate her intention was to point out the positives rather than revisit the negatives. Her next question was perhaps not the best thing to ask in light of this, but Maddie's often bubbly nature injected a trace of light-heartedness into even more difficult questions, and it was this she relied upon in this interaction, as in all others.

"You're leaving therapy behind, then?"
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Re: Worrywarts

Post by Teddy R. Lupin on Tue Sep 27, 2016 5:02 pm

The Lupin touch! He wanted to sardonically ask if that meant worrying his students into fits of rage and teaching them all to overanalyze to the point of inaction, but he didn't want to plunge back into all that murkiness, even if he did have a bit of a sense of a humor when it came to his own failings. He did suspect he would either be relatively good or a mess at the job. Of course, it was the latter part of this hypothesis that had him doubting his decision every once in awhile.

But he had never felt more at home than at Hogwarts. The Potters had made a lovely home for him, it was true, and he never went a day without feeling appreciative for it. But Hogwarts was a place where his parents had walked, where they had grown up, where they had sacrificed everything for him. In those halls, he felt their legacy and a sense of purpose. Perhaps they would help him continue to pass on their influence.

He smiled. "I hope so. To both accounts, really."

She asked about therapy and he let out a breath. "That's the question, isn't it. I mean, for now, certainly. I don't feel right helping people when I don't have the credentials myself. I know that I'll never be 100% okay, but let alone taking my own advice, I was ignoring a lot of what I knew about psychology. And the pressure to be better for my patients was making me worse so... I don't know. On paper, it's definitely the job for me. It didn't pan out though, so I'm going to move away from theories and just try for realities."
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