A Crash Course in Each Other

A Crash Course in Each Other

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A Crash Course in Each Other

Post by Melissa Finnigan on Fri Jul 03, 2015 9:58 pm

Dear

Dear Keiran,

Merlin's hairy balls ... my handwriting is bad today!

Hi!!

I thought about Floo-ing you and then I sort of thought that maybe you'd be really busy so I didn't want to bother you and I didn't ring you for the same reason so I thought I'd send Godric. He's not impressed, mind you. I don't think he does long-distance anymore. Yesterday I found him fighting with Lucius over a dead mouse, though, so I have no sympathy for him at all. Give him a biscuit would you, love? Oh! But very unhelpfully, while this was going on, Liam was just stood there going "oh-oh!" He looked at me as though somehow I would have the solution for this. I mean ... I do. Did. You ever have those days when you just forget you have magic and you find yourself staring at a dead mouse having hit both your cat and your bird with a broomstick wondering how you can best get the mouse out of the house? (LOOK AT THAT RHYME!) Anyway, once I got over that yeah, I did have the answer but bloody hell. Did you know I'm a witch? Weird. You're a wizard by the way. Speaking of wizards, I think the said unhelpful toddler might be thinking about doing a bit of magic of his own. Stuff is not going back in the toybox and ending up in other places ... maybe I'm going mad? Probably. It might be the cats, y'know...

Now I think about it, there was a really lame reason to start this letter and I feel a bit dumb. But then equally, if I'd floo-ed/rang you just for this and you were busy then it would've been really ... not great. I mean ... well, I would've been annoyed sort of ... if I was you and I was being annoying like this. Oh Merlin. Is this really annoying? I mean, I'm on my second bit of parchment now. I got this really pretty stationary from the shop in Hogsmeade and the parchment is so crisp and new and it's ... gah! I can paint on it too, apparently. Water colours galore! But yeahhhh... I'm waffling aren't I? I mean, it's probably okay. Waffles are far superior to pancakes anyway. Ooh. But potato waffles are the kings. I don't think Yeti would say that potato waffles count as like ... my five a day or something. But potatoes constitute as vegetables too ... so ... wait. Does it still count if they're in whatever potato waffle skins are? I'll have to google it. Bet it's not. Bet you a galleon it's not! Do you want to come round and have potato waffles and tomato sauce for dinner? It actually might not be worth the lecture. That bloody elf. She can lecture me til the proverbial cows come home about food and stuff for me but when I'm battling rodents, birds and felines she is nowhere to be seen. Typical!! Oh well.

Come over soon and eat waffles and ketchup with me/protect me from mother elf? If I end up fifty stone it's because I have a feeder. Twins? No problems. Kelly likes mangos! It's really cute. She gets so excited when I hedgehog the halves for her. It's really cute. Although, mastery of spoons still has a lot left to be desired. I think they throw things at me on purpose sometimes. On the plus side, smelling of fruit is infinitely better than smelling of other things that they could throw. Maybe ... maybe. Right, bear with me here. Maybe we are descendent from the monkeys that throw poo? Oh Merlin. Moving on!

So, I was wandering around the fifth floor this morning because I was helping one of the firsties find their way. She'd gotten lost really quite badly, actually, and we got to chatting and she's very sweet. I found out that she's a Hammers supporter, too! How great is that? Anyway, I got her to her class and went down to the Transfig courtyard 'cause I needed to meet my sixth years for our study group and I said that out there would be great while the sunshine is still about before autumn really sets in. Then, right, I overhear these bloody Ravenclaws coming up with chat-up lines!! So, naturally, I do a bit of earwigging don't I? By a country mile, the best one was: "would you like to whomp my willow?" ... Actually, "my house is called the Shrieking Shack for a reason. I'll show you tonight." is a reeeeaallly close second. The best part was I was walking down for dinner in the Great Hall later on with the twins because they seem to be obsessed with the staircases at the moment and I saw one of them try it on with a Hufflepuff. I think it was: "you must have given me some Skelegrow, 'cause my bone is really growing right now." But she decked him! It was hilarious. And what did Liam have to say about the matter? "Oh-oh!"

Anyway, I gave her some house points and chucked him in detention for harassing her. He's got to shine up my crystal balls (Merlin, now that sounds like a euphemism) for a month so that'll serve him right. Hey, hey Keiran? Can I shine your crystal balls?

Oh dear. I can't believe I wrote that. Burn this letter. Hah! Let that sentence never ever see the light of day, eh?

I had better go. I have the afternoon off (YES!) because Bae's taking the third years on a trip to that merpeople city in Dorset that's apparently 5,000 years old. He's really excited and everyone takes HOM, don't they, so I'm freeeeeeeeeee! I mean, not so much. My sixth years just landed me with a load of essays I totally regret setting now. Bleeearrghhh. All the same, the first Hogsmeade trip is next weekend and I'm chaperoning all of the ones going to Madam Puddifoot's on a date. This is going to be horrendous. I was always more of a snog-behind-the-three-broomsticks kind of girl, to be honest. You? Ever take a girl to that damned bloody tea shop? Oh MERLIN. I'm going to have to put up with so much kissy face and sexual tension. This is awful. Oh my god. What if there are tears? Say, are you busy this weekend? Save me?

Anyway, yeah, I better go. I just heard a crash and the dog yelping so ... this is probably going to be quite interesting. If it's another mouse ... I swear to God. Anyway, sorry for this! Maybe the next one (don't blame you if you don't want me to write again after this four page monstrosity!) won't be as long! See you later! <3

Lots of love,

Missie.


P.S. Let me know if the owl actually flew into wherever this reaches you or whether he just hit the window? Okay, going now.

P. P. S. Sorry. I remembered something to add but then I forgot so now I'm really going! x

P. P. P. S. Is it meant to have the P. Ps? I mean, I know it's post script isn't it but is it meant to be post-post-post script? Wait, post-script-script-script would be stupid wouldn't it? I really, really am going now.

P. P. P. P. S. Love you more than flesh eating slugs love lettuces (which is loads and loads and loads!), bye! xo

P. P. P. P. P. S. It was a rat.



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Melissa Finnigan
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Re: A Crash Course in Each Other

Post by Lucien Holt on Fri Jul 03, 2015 11:15 pm

Uh, hello. Four pages, Missie? Quite impressive. Trying to match that would mean a lot of rambling, I'm afraid. I'm not confident I can reply to everything, and you don't exactly have a copy now that you've told me to burn the other one, eh? I didn't, by the way. But I'm keeping it, so you don't have to worry about it falling into the wrong hands or anything.

On that note, you know I wouldn't let anyone else do that but you. Just, you know... look at the twins if you've forgotten. Or I'll send you photos of Darcie. [Do let me know if you have trouble looking at them seriously for a while. The reaction I'm picturing in my head is pretty great.]

In all seriousness, though, Liam sounds like a bit of a handful. Kelly's quieter, I imagine? You'd be amazed, by the way, to know that Darcie actually slept almost entirely through the night yesterday. I actually woke to my alarm, which was set heinously early, and she wasn't far behind. But it was sort of impressive.

I'm glad you've got some time off, though. I'm sat here pretending to file paperwork, so that's fun. Apparently I am meant to write up a sort of recap of how everything went at the events over the summer. Which, to be entirely honest, may have been better than we expected, but is really annoying when I have to write up reports. So I may just do those over the weekend and focus on the upcoming meetings with Lupin for now.

Maybe if you get some time, you can help me think of something to give Jack and Max? I mean, you know better than anyone that I'm absolutely shit at picking out gifts. They don't live too far, so they've been giving me a hand now and then. Jack has a tendency to pick up runaways or something, and I think she's starting to see me as one of those. It's odd, really, but kind of amusing at the same time.

I hope the rat problem doesn't continue. If it does I'll send you over some mouse traps or bring them next time we trade off or something, yeah? I don't think I'll get time to do dinner tonight, since I've spent half my afternoon on these letters. Weekend, maybe? Let me know.

Yours,
K

P.S. (yes, I'm only doing one of these) I forgot to say. Yes, I'm afraid I did go to that flowery eyesore. But it wasn't my choice, to be fair. Why? Did you want to go, love? I'm pretty sure we would stand out. Or infuriate everyone. Actually, we should. That would be rather fun.
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Re: A Crash Course in Each Other

Post by Melissa Finnigan on Sun Jul 12, 2015 7:49 pm

Hi Hi!

Iím sorry this took so long to get to! I had to go and fetch the Bloody Baron. Peeves was harassing the portraits and Wendelin the Weird decided I was the best person to go and find the Baron. He still hates me! Iím not sure if I told you about that, though. I was trying out my smoke bomb recipes in, I think, my fourth year. The recipe was definitely dodgy because, when I set it off in the dungeons, it turned a group of Slytherins and the Bloody Baron this awful fuchsia colour.

As it is, Iíve been trying to get the same colour out of my hair for the last hour! Iíve always wanted it a funky colour but never quite while I was trying to teach kids! The dogís looking at me weird! Talk about belated punishment/revenge, eh? I've got my seventh years tomorrow, too. They're going to wet themselves! Anyway, Peeves has been dealt with. Mind you, I donít think the Baron will ever let me live this one down. Iíll get my revenge. Any ideas?

Quite a lot of rambling is definitely my problem so if you feel the need then I definitely donít mind getting it back! Hah! (;

I didnít think youíd burn it, somehow. Cheeky monkey! Well, Iím glad, yíknow. Not quite sure how Iíd feel if you would! I would love pictures of Darcie, though! As many as you have time for. The other day I bought us a few new scrapbooks that could do with being filled up!

Thatís amazing! Makes a change! I expect that makes it tons easier! Liamís not bad at all, really. Heís just got his nose in every bit of mischief the castle has to offer! Kelly is definitely quieter but thatís not very cheering because sheís clearly got your clever cookie brain. Who knows what trouble sheís cooking up behind those big eyes? Scary! I hope Iíve decided to do something else by the time theyíre in Hogwarts because I am soooo not game for being hauled to the HMís office to explain them when I'm meant to be a teacher!

You should have some time off! To maybe be able to ignore the heinously early alarm and enjoy regular people hours? Canít you delegate the report writing? If I was you, Iíd have given it a good try. If all else fails Ö that quill I got you for Christmas? Thatíll do some of the legwork for you if youíve got it handy! Donít work too hard. Well, work hard. It wouldnít be like you to be lazy. But yíknow what I mean! Do remember you are allowed to have a life! (; All that spiel.

Enjoy the meetings, love! Donít doodle too much! Hehe!

I can definitely help with that. Iíll give it a bit of thought. I need to find some time to visit Max. Cousins shouldnít really be strangers, should they? Ah well. When thereís time, I will.

If the rats were coming in of their own accord, Iíd be alright. Itís your God forsaken cat! Heís coming to live with you, by the way. Iím sending him with Godric. Merlin knows, Cissaís had enough of him, besides. Oh, and Yetiís coming too! Youíre not allowed to go hungry, either! But the weekend sounds great! Donít bring the cat back!

Lots of love and hugs,

Missie xx

P.S. (Glad you could resist!) Why not? Iíll buy you a cupcake! (:
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